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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 19 Sep 06 - 12:00 AM
MMario 19 Sep 06 - 08:48 AM
Rapparee 19 Sep 06 - 08:56 AM
MMario 19 Sep 06 - 09:01 AM
Amos 19 Sep 06 - 09:11 AM
Bunnahabhain 19 Sep 06 - 09:13 AM
Rapparee 19 Sep 06 - 09:30 AM
MMario 19 Sep 06 - 09:49 AM
Acme 19 Sep 06 - 09:55 AM
MMario 19 Sep 06 - 09:57 AM
Acme 19 Sep 06 - 10:47 AM
Amos 19 Sep 06 - 12:02 PM
Acme 19 Sep 06 - 03:02 PM
Amos 19 Sep 06 - 05:09 PM
Acme 20 Sep 06 - 12:45 AM
Rapparee 20 Sep 06 - 08:57 AM
Amos 20 Sep 06 - 09:02 AM
Bunnahabhain 20 Sep 06 - 09:06 AM
MMario 20 Sep 06 - 09:22 AM
Rapparee 20 Sep 06 - 09:26 AM
MMario 20 Sep 06 - 09:27 AM
Rapparee 20 Sep 06 - 09:30 AM
Acme 20 Sep 06 - 10:22 AM
Amos 20 Sep 06 - 10:25 AM
MMario 20 Sep 06 - 10:26 AM
Amos 20 Sep 06 - 10:38 AM
MMario 20 Sep 06 - 10:41 AM
Amos 20 Sep 06 - 11:22 AM
Rapparee 20 Sep 06 - 11:37 AM
MMario 20 Sep 06 - 11:46 AM
Rapparee 20 Sep 06 - 11:48 AM
Rapparee 20 Sep 06 - 12:32 PM
MMario 20 Sep 06 - 12:34 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 06 - 12:45 PM
Amos 20 Sep 06 - 01:54 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 06 - 02:50 PM
Amos 20 Sep 06 - 03:01 PM
MMario 20 Sep 06 - 03:03 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 06 - 03:08 PM
Acme 20 Sep 06 - 03:48 PM
MMario 20 Sep 06 - 03:55 PM
GUEST,I was there at the beginning man 20 Sep 06 - 04:27 PM
MMario 20 Sep 06 - 04:33 PM
GUEST,I was there at the beginning man 20 Sep 06 - 04:40 PM
GUEST,KB 20 Sep 06 - 05:36 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 06 - 06:47 PM
Acme 20 Sep 06 - 11:20 PM
Amos 20 Sep 06 - 11:41 PM
Bunnahabhain 21 Sep 06 - 07:22 AM
Amos 21 Sep 06 - 08:55 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 12:00 AM

I think I will get one of those Gutter Helmets for days when Mom is swooping a-southward toward the dark horizon, her poor head reeling with bad ideas and her blood pounding with the terror of a long fall toward the endless edge of all being. When it seems her acceleration is unstoppably, ineluctably south to the bottom, then I will strap on my Gutter Helmet and with the grace of God and the dexterity with which our Mother endowed me, I will swoop down and snatch Mom from the gutter. I will do this, not once, nor thrice, by a thousand times as long as Mother needs me. For I yam a true Son of Mom.

Thus have I spoken.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 08:48 AM

'mornining Mom. is the coffee ready?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 08:56 AM

TRUE sons (and daughters) of Mom wouldn't wait to put on a Gutter Helmet before rushing to rescue her from The Darkness. TRUE children of Mom are brave, clean, thrifty, reverent, trustworty, loyal, helpful, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, and does a Good Turn daily. TRUE children of Mom are physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight.

Thus I have spoken, and so it is and so it will be.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 09:01 AM

MOM!



Rapaire's fibbing again!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 09:11 AM

Stop beating your chest in disrespect, Honorable Book-Man -- you dishonor yourself in reflection.

Kowabunga Garumph Whick-Tooey
First Senior Upper Elder Higher Chief


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 09:13 AM

No, he's just having visions. So long as they're suitably messianic, or cryptic, or fueled by Patmos Mushrooms or such like, then it's fine. It's not as if he's in charge of anything that important.

At least he's managed to keep Kirche and State seperate, by giving all that fire-water to the Idaho legion I understand it's a big issue over there....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 09:30 AM

MOM! Mario and Bunn and Amos are picking on me again because I'm better and smarter and better looking than they are! MOOOOOOOOOOOOM! Make 'em stop! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! They don't even know the Boy Scout Law and stuff! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! They're being mean to me because I'm special! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 09:49 AM

hmmppphhh! I'm gonna go over and play on the 85 billion thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 09:55 AM

I'm really pleased to have found the gutter helmet--what a concept! But think of what it might have done to some of the songs we love, of drunks lying in gutters--if they'd been wearing gutter helmets, would the pig have gotten up and slowly walked away, or would he have demanded one also? Would the lady in disguise have been less disguised wearing a gutter helmet?

Great thoughts to ponder, my friends. It's like as if You-Know-Who were igorning the prime directive.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 09:57 AM

oooooo! Stilly - if "teensie weenie falcon" heard you say that he'd wash your mouth out with industrial grade soap!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 10:47 AM

He'd have to catch me first.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 12:02 PM

Please give advance notice if this starts up, as I woudl like to watch.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 03:02 PM

Nothing to watch at all. We had a heavy rain this week. My dogs would be so glad to see him when he got here that they'd jump on him with their muddy feet and he'd have to use all of his industrial strength soap to get the dirt out of his clothes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Sep 06 - 05:09 PM

Dang. ANother tantalizing image come to nought.

It's just as well. I don't think Mom woulda stood for it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 12:45 AM

He doesn't seem to be paying any attention to MOM at all lately.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 08:57 AM

Well, THAT was interesting. And I'm danged glad it's over. Carabiners can fail, but you really wouldn't expect that a spinnaker could do that. Especially after the prussik knot was so well tied, and the saddle wasn't even a center-fire rig. The main shaft was flawed, I guess, and that allowed the adit to collapse on the grizzly. Anyway, the bearing were salvaged and so was the collar so nobody was hurt. Bruised, sure, but you'd expect that from overburden removal with slurry and the after-leading halyards in irons. Fortunately, we'd truss tackled the tops, and so when the highline dropped a blue-butted schoolmarm on the stope we were all okay.

As I said, it was interesting and I'm right glad it's over!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 09:02 AM

I think he's having one of those conversations with the mirror things like you see on Hollywood Boulevard.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 09:06 AM

You're right, that does sound interesting, and lucky that nobody was in the wrong place when it happened.

Messing about in boats is fun. Pimms and a punt is slightly less energetic though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 09:22 AM

it is morning once again. I'm preparing for a trip to 1603 this weekend. So if I'm not around, that's probably where I will be.

Unless I decide to go to some other time period.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 09:26 AM

Gus had spotted color -- or so he thought -- on the bar. That's what started the whole mess in the first place. He tried panning and even rocking, and then he called for help and you can see what the result of that was! We thought the town would be washed away when the sluice crashed and the pumps in the winze failed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 09:27 AM

ahhh - mystery solved. but he's not trying for metal on metal, is he?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 09:30 AM

Heavy metal. He was after really heavy metal, and Guns 'n' Roses and Kiss and Van Halen just weren't doing it for him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 10:22 AM

If you're experiencing difficulties perhaps you're allergic to heavy metal. You might want to consult a metallergist.

Down, spellcheck, down! It's supposed to be that way!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 10:25 AM

As one who prefers clarity to intentional and oppressive obscurity, I should point out that a "prussik knot" is actually a Prusik knot, named after Karl Prusik, a climbing expert.

Rapaire's stream-of-semitechnical-consciousness, in contrast, is intentionally as confusing and demeaning to the reader as possible. There is a common misconception that doing this sort of thing makes the originator seem knowledgeable or important. This, I have learned from long hard experience on both sides of the exchange, is a delusion. WHile such fugues of poly-babble certainly qualify generically as BS, I don't think anyone would defend the assertion that they constitute quality BS.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 10:26 AM

CLEVER! I like.

*sigh* he-who-should-not-be-responded-to appears to be ramping up for another full fledged non-discussion about what he oh-so-carefully considers to be NOT telling Max how to run the site. For someone who complainss about witch-hunts he certainly seems capable of operating one!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 10:38 AM

Adit - A horizontal or near horizontal entrance into a mine from the surface. This tunnel may be used for haulage, drainage, ventilation or any combination of the three. Adits in the Highlands typically average 6 feet wide by 6 1/2 feet tall and are somewhat arched

Grizzly - A grating placed over an opening to an ore pass or chute usually made of steel rails that prevents large rocks or ore from falling below.

Stope - The cavity or void created after the ore has been excavated

Blue-butted is a term usually applied to baboons, monkeys, some species of birds and one kind of lizard, but I have never heard it applied to schoolmarms -- how would anyone know? If Rapaire reforms I am sure he will give us some source references for his logorrheic fantasy, in any case.

Spinnakers are foresails, but the only connection of spnnaker with mining is inthe software world, a data-mining software module.

It would be so nice if Rapaire chose to enlighten us. Of course, it might be too much trouble since it would require a major change of purpose from "impress" to "inform".

Sigh. Maybe Mom will wallop him. At least that would be fun to watch.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 10:41 AM

Amos - in this day of panty-hose; "blue -butted" is a logical, though rare, extension of the Regency "blue-stocking" -- thus appropriate for Schoolmarms.

sometimes youare so littoral.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 11:22 AM

A winze, should one wish to know, is a secondary or tertiary vertical opening sunk from a point inside a mine for the purpose of connecting with a lower level or of exploring the ground for a limited depth below a level.

I am moved to ask, good Rapaire, if you have, yourself, ever hewed hard-rock in search of color? Ever cut the face of a drift? Hand tools and tons of earth and quartz to move?

I've done a little, up north of Placerville in some old abandoned mines in the California gold-rush region. 'S why I am asking.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 11:37 AM

Maybe I have. Could be. Yep, sure could be.

And a "blue-butted schoolmarm" is a logging term (perhaps only in the North of Wisconsin and Michigan?) for a log with a crotch in it, the trimmed branch of which can catch a guy as it moves down the belt or chain and carry him into the saw. Think of a Y-shaped log.

By the way, Amos: a while back I tried to buy a hand-held star drill. I finally gave up. If you know where I can get one please let me know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 11:46 AM

One of these here types or an antique?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 11:48 AM

I've traveled all over this country
Prospecting and digging for gold
I've tunneled, hydraulicked and cradled
And I have been frequently sold.

For each man who got rich by mining
I noticed that hundreds grew poor
And I made up my mind to try "booking"
The only pursuit that was sure.

So, rolling my grub in my blanket
I left all my tools on the hole
And started one morning to shank it
For the country they call Idaho.

Arriving flat broke in midwinter
I found it enveloped in snow
And covered all over with mountains
Thick as hair on the back of a sow.

When I looked on the prospects so gloomy
The tears trickled over my face
And I thought that my travels had brought me
To the end of the jumping-off place.

I staked me a claim in the forest
And sat myself down to hard toil
For two years I chopped and I struggled
But I never got down to the soil.

I tried to get out of the country
But poverty forced me to stay
Until I became an old settler
Then nothing could drive me away

And now that I'm used to the climate
I think that if ever so
A place to live easy and happy
That Eden is called Idaho.

No longer the slave of ambition
I laugh at the world and its crooks
As I think of my pleasant condition
Surrounded by acres of books.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 12:32 PM

Yeah! Now I need a shaker. Any volunteers?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 12:34 PM

look - if you want someone to shake your tool - do it yourself!

reeally - that's gross!

at least in public.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 12:45 PM

John Henry said to the Shaker,
"Shaker, you better pray,
Cuz if I miss with this nine-pound hammer
Tomorrow gonna be your buryin' day, Lord Lord...."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 01:54 PM

We didn't do blasting, but if you need a place to put fire in the hole, that Hard Cap drill would probably do the trick. If you want an antique, there are still places in the hills around Sacramento and Placerville where older-timers a hundred and more years back dropped their toools and walke3d away, just as the song says, and you can still sometimes find old iron thingambobs and whizzcracks buried in the forest leaves on the mountain side. We found a six-foot wide cast-iron sluicing form -- like an iron doughnut, sorta, but hollow -- and we dragged it back to camp by tying a rope to it and hooking it to the back of a pickup and hauling it up the mountainside to the dirt road anddown to camp, where we used it to break up chunks of sample for assaying or panning.

I couldn't make money from logging,
And I'd never get by on my looks,
So I fell into cold data-flogging
By digging through acres of books
.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 02:50 PM

Nah, I just wanna bust up some concrete in the back yard. It supports an old satellite TV mast about six feet high, and while I consider it an objet d'art, my wife wouldn't mind it gone. Damn thing is 1/4" steel pipe about 8" in diameter, and damned tough steel too! Blasting would work, but my wife's against that for some reason.

She also won't let me shoot golf even though I promised I would only use a 20 gauge or put up an archery target a couple fairways over to practice on. Sometimes I just don't understand her....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 03:01 PM

Hell, I'd start by using a sledge hammer on it to see if I could crack it into chunks. That would release the pipe.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 03:03 PM

hey Amos - use that sledge on me and give me a quick hit upside the head before I react to he-who-must-not-be-responded to. Wouldja?

Thanx


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 03:08 PM

I did. I broke a ganglion and damned near passed out from pain. Then I went at it again. The concrete must be six feet deep! And I have no way of simply cutting the pipe off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 03:48 PM

You boys have been busy since I last posted this morning. Whew!

Mmario, Mmario, Mmario! Bluestockings and schoolmarms are ALWAYS mutually exclusive terms. They don't go together, no way, nohow.

Acres of Clams is sacred to those of us from Puget Sound. Don't mess with it. Steal something else to use to rant about Idaho with, please!

Hitch that dish up to the back of your pickup truck and give it a few tugs. Oughta take care of it, even if that is a big piece of concrete.

Mmario, just bite your tongue around you-know-who. The guy is a nut case and just won't quit if you can't resist goading him on.

Okay. Now I'll go back to work. Take it easy guys, it's only Wednesday. You have to get through the rest of the week still!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 03:55 PM

psstttt...Have you guys noticed that sometimes Stilly is just like MOM?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 04:27 PM

Hi MOAB posters,
I haven't posted here before and am just trying it out. I have met some of you on the 85 billion thread and that set me wondering what goes on over here. Thought it would be nice to get to know you all. So... what's your favourite food? Are you all Americans (nothing wrong with that)? Fancy a first to 15,000 post competition with the 85 billion thread. We trounced the 5000 thread to 300, tee hee, don't laugh (or underestimate us)?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 04:33 PM

Welcome to MOAB, IWTATBM.

Can we call you IW for short?

Not all of us are Americans or even from the States. Some of us are Duckdogs, freds, ralfs, and gentry.

then there is the Idaho League - a few of the members of which they aren't sure *what* they are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 04:40 PM

No you can't call me IW (cheek). But I will settle for IWTATBM. Thanks for the welcome and intro's though. I'm from Blighty meself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 05:36 PM

Hey MOAB'ers. If IWTATBM can do it, by gum then so can I. The 85 billion post is where I usually hang out but a fellow can do with more than one watering hole. I am from the states by the way. Not all of them, just one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 06:47 PM

It's the Idaho Legion, not League. The Idaho League is a group of really lousy baseball teams from towns like Shoup and Atomic City: i.e., so small that the entire population of the town makes up the baseball team.

The Idaho Legion, on the other hand, is a group of fine, sometimes standing individuals who revel in their individuality and stand for Truth, Justice, Beer, Country, Whiskey and Whisky, The Right to Keep and Arm Bears, Good Horseflesh, Setting Off Various Things That Go Bang, The Opposite Sex Unless You Prefer Otherwise, National De Fence, and Other Good Things (that's from the Legion's Statement of Beliefs). Membership is very selective, requiring among other things that you have a body temperature above that of the ambient surroundings, blood pressure greater than 30 over 10, a pulse, and a (preferably well-filled) wallet (consciousness is optional).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 11:20 PM

I protest! WE are all real people here, even if Amos is the only one who actually uses his name. What is this "GUEST,I was there at the beginning man" as a name? It isn't, it's a description. Same with that other one, who is "KB"? I think Little Hawk is off his meds again and transmogrifying. Or Shatner has gone round the bend. Either way, this is just too many personalities to run at once. Gotta lose a couple if you want to launch this one over here. So far I can keep it straight in my head, but we're nearing the point where we need a scorecard. (You could ditch BDiBR . . .)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 06 - 11:41 PM

This thread don't carry no airheads, this thread
This thread don't carry no airheads, this thread!
This thread don't carry no air heads
Wear you hats, don't bring no bare heads,
This thread don't carry no airheads,
This thread.

This thread don't want no tumors, this thread
This thread don't want no tumors, this thread
This thread don't want no tumor
Pallid puns nor UK humour,
This thread don't want no tumor, this thread.

This thread don't run on speed, this thread
This thread don't run on speed, this thread.
This thread don't run on speed,
Quality BS is all she needs,
This thread don't run on speed, this thread.

Goody Two-shoes Coyote
Songs of the Shenandoah Shore
Urban Legend Publications, Boston, 1985


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 07:22 AM

I'm fairly sure Gluon isn't a person, and is only real some of the time. I would try and ask the creture, but it appears to be chasing Schrodingers cat between universes, and is somewhat unavailable.

Other than that, spot on SRS.

Rap, have you tried just bending the thing over?
Tie a rope to the very top, and fix the other end to a truck towhook, or run it through a pulley to triple it over or so, and tie of to a large tree. Give a good bash with the sledge right at the bottom, on the side you are pulling it from. It should just bend over, without too much. Bend it up and down a few times, should be able to do that straight by hand, and it should just snap off at the bottom. It worked for me with some scaffolding poles some kind soul used as washing line posts. 4 inch tube, 3/8 inch walls or close to that, and it went easily enough.

Blasting would have been more fun though....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 08:55 AM

One 8" length of ordinary lead pipe with threaded ends
One ounce 87 octane gasoline
Two threaded pipe-caps, one drilled to accept fuse
One fuse (length proportional to desire to survive)

Install lower pipe-cap. Place gasoline in pipe. Insert upper pipe cap. Thread fuse through hole in upper pipe-cap. Shake gently to develop vapor.

Light fuse.

Drop assembly in Sat. mast.

Depart area with celerity.

On return, pick up chunks, and haul to dump.

A


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