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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 10 Feb 08 - 10:16 AM
Acme 10 Feb 08 - 10:36 AM
Rapparee 10 Feb 08 - 10:58 AM
Amos 10 Feb 08 - 11:02 AM
Rapparee 10 Feb 08 - 03:48 PM
Amos 10 Feb 08 - 04:44 PM
Acme 10 Feb 08 - 04:45 PM
Acme 10 Feb 08 - 04:46 PM
Amos 10 Feb 08 - 06:56 PM
Acme 11 Feb 08 - 01:51 AM
Rapparee 11 Feb 08 - 09:40 AM
Amos 11 Feb 08 - 10:57 AM
Amos 11 Feb 08 - 04:44 PM
Rapparee 11 Feb 08 - 06:29 PM
Acme 11 Feb 08 - 06:41 PM
Amos 11 Feb 08 - 07:09 PM
Rapparee 11 Feb 08 - 09:29 PM
Rapparee 11 Feb 08 - 09:29 PM
Acme 11 Feb 08 - 11:05 PM
Amos 11 Feb 08 - 11:10 PM
Little Hawk 11 Feb 08 - 11:31 PM
Amos 11 Feb 08 - 11:45 PM
Rapparee 11 Feb 08 - 11:51 PM
MMario 12 Feb 08 - 08:46 AM
Rapparee 12 Feb 08 - 09:31 AM
Amos 12 Feb 08 - 11:10 AM
Acme 12 Feb 08 - 11:41 AM
Amos 12 Feb 08 - 12:15 PM
MMario 12 Feb 08 - 12:27 PM
Rapparee 12 Feb 08 - 12:43 PM
Amos 12 Feb 08 - 05:09 PM
Rapparee 12 Feb 08 - 05:39 PM
Amos 12 Feb 08 - 05:49 PM
Rapparee 12 Feb 08 - 05:50 PM
Acme 12 Feb 08 - 08:51 PM
Amos 12 Feb 08 - 10:53 PM
MMario 13 Feb 08 - 08:27 AM
Rapparee 13 Feb 08 - 08:47 AM
Amos 13 Feb 08 - 09:13 AM
Rapparee 13 Feb 08 - 09:21 AM
Amos 13 Feb 08 - 10:06 AM
Amos 13 Feb 08 - 10:48 AM
Rapparee 13 Feb 08 - 12:26 PM
Amos 13 Feb 08 - 12:37 PM
MMario 13 Feb 08 - 12:41 PM
Acme 13 Feb 08 - 12:58 PM
Amos 13 Feb 08 - 02:39 PM
Rapparee 13 Feb 08 - 03:30 PM
Amos 13 Feb 08 - 06:23 PM
Rapparee 13 Feb 08 - 06:26 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 10:16 AM

I can't thank you enough, Rapaire. Really.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 10:36 AM

Glad to see you guys holding down the fort!

I think I kicked the old router back into service. And I might just run some wire and make my son's computer hardwired instead of wireless. Save a lot of problems that way.

It's sunny out today but the bird bath froze again over night. Be sure to go in the house to wash your hands, and please, use a little soap, don't go just swishing your fingers through that bird bath any more. It makes the birds sick when you pollute their dirty water with your human germs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 10:58 AM

I have many, many more, Amos. I'd be happy to post them if you'd like. It's just that if they're not in the DT it's soooooo boring to type them in...wait. I could scan them and then cut 'n' paste.

Anything in particular you'd like?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 11:02 AM

I have no idea what's behind door three.

:D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 03:48 PM

Step right up, sir, and take a chance! Three tries for a dollar! Show the little lady the stuff you're made of! Right this way, sir! Just one thin dollar!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 04:44 PM

I don't have a buck to spare on your caterwauling, young feller, but here's 22.010 Kay for ya, if that helps.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 04:45 PM

Nah, THIS is 22,010.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 04:46 PM

Well, it was when I opened the box to write it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 06:56 PM

I think that last was .012, Mag.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 01:51 AM

yup/ and by the time you post again to say something about the number you've gone even further adrift than you were to begin with!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 09:40 AM

Sir, you have won the free spin!

Farewell, Mother
Music: "Just Before The Battle, Mother"

Just before the battle, mother,
I was drinking mountain dew,
When I saw the "Rebels" marching,
To the rear I quickly flew;
Where the stragglers were flying,
Thinking of their homes and wives;
'Twas not the "Reb" we feared, dear mother,
But our own dear precious lives.

CH: Farewell, mother! for you'll never
See my name among the slain.
For if I only can skeddaddle,
Dear mother, I'll come home again.

I hear the bugle sounding, mother,
My soul is eager for the fray.
I guess I'll hide behind some cover,
And then I shall be O.K.
Discretion's the better part of valor,
At least I've often heard it you say;
And he who loves his life, dear mother,
Won't fight if he can run away.

(CH)


Sir, you have also won on your second try!

Answer to "My Maryland"
Music: "Maryland, My Maryland"

The Rebel feet are on our shore,
Maryland, my Maryland!
I smell 'em half a mile or more,
Maryland, my Maryland!
Their shockless hordes are at my door,
Their drunken generals on my floor,
What now can sweeten Baltimore?
Maryland, my Maryland!

Hark to our noses' dire appeal,
Maryland, my Maryland!
Oh unwashed Rebs, to you we kneel!
Maryland, my Maryland!
If you can't purchase soap, oh steal
That precious article -- I feel
Like scratching from the head to heel,
Maryland, my Maryland!

You're covered thick with mud and dust,
Maryland, my Maryland!
As though you'd been upon a bust,
Maryland, my Maryland!
Remember, it is scarcely just,
To have filthy fellow thrust
Before us, till he's been scrubbed fust,
Maryland, my Maryland!

I see no blush upon thy cheek,
Maryland, my Maryland!
It's not been washed for many a week,
Maryland, my Maryland!
To get thee clean -- 'tis truth I speak --
Would dirty every stream and creek,
From Potomac to Chesapeake,
Maryland, my Maryland!


Oops, sorry sir! You didn't win the last spin, and in fact you owe the house five hundred US dollars! But remember, sir, two out of three ain't bad!

Would you like to try again?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 10:57 AM

I always wondered where Art Linkletter reincarnated; I think I now know.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 04:44 PM

Hey MOM!!! Rapaire is chanelling Art LInkletter!!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 06:29 PM

Yes, and Amos says the darnedest things!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 06:41 PM

A perfect 10 on that comeback!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 07:09 PM

**bg** Yeah, but look who set him up!!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 09:29 PM

Gimme!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 09:29 PM

Happy birtday to me...22022.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 11:05 PM

A very attractive number, and no-doubt a very good year, too.

Any more adventures in computing at your library? Did they do anything special for your birthday, like make your computer give off sparks, or any other pyrotechnics? (Birthday candles, perhaps?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 11:10 PM

Wow!!! WOW!!! Did you see what bruvver Rapaire DID???   He got 22022, the spinniest spinner of them all, better balanced than any spinny spinner since 10001, or maybe 90009. And on his BIRTHDAY!!! There's a sort of poetic justice here, folks. It's down right mystical.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 11:31 PM

"It's, like, cosmic, eh?" (Shane)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 11:45 PM

He is SO kewl he makes me feel all fired up and ready to go....

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 11:51 PM

Well, yeah, Stilly, maybe.

I was leaving for lunch and paused to chat with Jolene, who does the maintenance and cleaning. She remarked that she was getting an urge to go off and shoot some tin cans with a .22 pistol. We joked about it a bit, and then I made a mistake. In jest I suggested a Library Pistol Team.

Well, it turns out that one of the co-Supervisors in Reference used to be a deputy sheriff and had to qualify with a handgun every year. My Associate Director not only has a .22 revolver and a 9mm automatic, but she lettered in pistol in college. The Readers' Advisor would love to learn to shoot things. The YA Librarian would be in, and so might the Children's Librarian. Gene, a 'Nam vet who works at the Circ Desk, might also be in the group. Who knows who else?

Some libraries have tennis teams. Some have bowling teams or softball teams. We might have a team of pistoleras.

Lordy. What hath my chance remark wrought?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 08:46 AM

now THAT is scary!

Overdue? You have a choice - we can brand you on the forehead so that everyone knows you owe a fine; or you can run the gauntlet of our pistol team.

Or you could join the legion - but that would be a bit drastic!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 09:31 AM

By the way, the Legion was recently re-armed with .30-40 Krags, surplus from the Spanish-American War. The Legion Armorer and Assistant Official Bartender (LAAOB) is working on a way to use the Legion's stock of surplus .45-70 ammunition (surplus from the Big Horn campaign of 1876) in them. Little progress has been made or is expected, especially since someone took all the firing pins out of the Krags.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 11:10 AM

ANd a good thing, or you'd be up to here with fragged Krags.

So, did you have a nice birthday? Didja? Huh? Didja?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 11:41 AM

Whatever happened to the precision book cart drill team? Are you giving up on the traditional library competitive sports?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 12:15 PM

I can see a combination -- precision book cart drills interlarded with immediate execution of overdue book-borrowers by sharp-shooting synchronized assistantr librarians in fringed cow-girl skirts and longhorn-spangled Stetsons.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 12:27 PM

sharp-shooting synchronized assistantr librarians in fringed cow-girl skirts and longhorn-spangled Stetsons.

and that's just the mens team! The women go all out on their costumes!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 12:43 PM

My natal day celebrations were acceptable. I ate at a gourmet dinner at Perkins, cleaned up around the house a bit, and slept straight through until the alarm went off.

That's the benefits of a clear conscience.

We're going to combine the book truck drill team with the library's shooting team in a biatholon sort of thing. The details are still being worked out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 05:09 PM

ROck and roll while you can, Mom!! Rapaire is AGING!!!!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 05:39 PM

Now you listen to ME, sonny! I was using computers when you were less than knee-high to a grasshopper! You young whippersnappers today have it too danged easy! Let me tell you, back in MY day things were tough! All we had to use were bits of stones and sticks! And some times we didn't even have enough to eat so we'd have to eat the sticks and....



zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 05:49 PM

Back in my day all we had to use was slipsticks, bu did we complain? Nopooo.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 05:50 PM

I've still got FOUR of them new-fangled things!

We used shiny pebbles arranged on the ground....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 08:51 PM

I don't know about slipsticks, but I could use a chapstick right about now. It's cold again outside.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Feb 08 - 10:53 PM

Oh, please. Don't people in Texas ever learn???? Next thing, you'll be voting for McCain and Clinton, just for old times' sake. What is this "cold" of which you complain?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 08:27 AM

Amos - remember when it fell below 60 degrees? that is a faint inkling of "cold"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 08:47 AM

Amos, "cold" is what happens when atomic activity slows down. Because this rarely happens in Socal, everyone there is always in feverish activity, running around voting for Arnold or Ronny, starting a new cult, trying to avoid a wildfire or a mudslide, jogging along as cougar bait -- all that fun stuff.

In colder climes this stuff doesn't happen because atomic activity slows down. People don't feel the need to hop a ride on a comet or vote for Tom Hayden and so they don't.

It's all in the atoms. You'd understand if you had the background in nucular physics that me and the President got.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 09:13 AM

Dang--with analysisation like that, who needs background?!! An' free uv charge, too!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 09:21 AM

Just ask me. I'm a liberryan and I gotta know stuff for my job.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 10:06 AM

Wow, that's innerestin'. My job involves NOT knowing all kinds of stuff. Longer I am in it, the more stuff I find to unknow. It builds up and establishes a kind of job security.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 10:48 AM

A while back I posted the wrong link, leading to a McCain mash-up.

What I really MEANT to say is: Rapaire is so Kewl, he makes me feel

Fired Up!! and Ready to Go!



Sorry for the error. Click the slogan for some soul.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 12:26 PM

Yes, well, I'm just a shy and modest kid from Mark Twain Country. He was another shy and modest guy who wrote a couple of books that had some little local success. You probably never heard of him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 12:37 PM

I have never heard of Mister Country, but I am sure he is a very nice man, if you say so.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 12:41 PM

TwoMarks County?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 12:58 PM

Marky Mark?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 02:39 PM

When he got stoned they used to call him High Mucky Muck.

He is a repeating figure in Rapaire's fantasies, along with Billy Bob Shazxpeer and Ernie "Da Bool!" Hemingway.

And you, and me.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 03:30 PM

Well, as you may know "Mark Twain" was only a pen name. His real name was Samuel "Drink 'em up!" Clemens. He got his nickname from his carousing in The Eagle, a disreputable saloon and "house" on the Hannibal riverfront. Sam and his brothers and I used to go in there to play pool; we'd have a beer or two, play a little eight-ball, and then Sam liquor would hit Sam and he'd yell "Drink 'em up!" After a few more beers he'd go talk with the young ladies who roomed upstairs, and when they'd finished their discussions he'd come back down and pass out under the pool table. We'd drag ol' Sam out and up to his house and leave him on the front porch, or if he were working back to the boat he was piloting. In the latter case we only rarely dropped him in the river by accident. But I can tell you this: as much as he drank his book should have been called "Life IN The Mississippi" and not "On."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 06:23 PM

Hey, watch out their or your OTHER figments will start getting jealous.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 08 - 06:26 PM

You mean you're getting jealous of Sam?


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