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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 27 Oct 08 - 04:26 PM
Acme 27 Oct 08 - 04:42 PM
Little Hawk 27 Oct 08 - 06:20 PM
Rapparee 27 Oct 08 - 06:58 PM
Amos 27 Oct 08 - 07:13 PM
Rapparee 27 Oct 08 - 09:13 PM
Rapparee 27 Oct 08 - 09:43 PM
Acme 27 Oct 08 - 10:21 PM
Little Hawk 27 Oct 08 - 10:43 PM
Amos 27 Oct 08 - 11:30 PM
Little Hawk 28 Oct 08 - 01:06 AM
MMario 28 Oct 08 - 08:42 AM
Little Hawk 28 Oct 08 - 09:31 AM
Amos 28 Oct 08 - 09:41 AM
Rapparee 28 Oct 08 - 09:41 AM
Little Hawk 28 Oct 08 - 09:46 AM
Rapparee 28 Oct 08 - 09:55 AM
Acme 28 Oct 08 - 10:09 AM
Amos 28 Oct 08 - 12:35 PM
Little Hawk 28 Oct 08 - 12:51 PM
Little Hawk 28 Oct 08 - 01:40 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 08 - 01:42 PM
Little Hawk 28 Oct 08 - 01:45 PM
Amos 28 Oct 08 - 01:55 PM
Acme 28 Oct 08 - 03:11 PM
Amos 28 Oct 08 - 03:15 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 08 - 04:25 PM
Amos 28 Oct 08 - 04:58 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 08 - 06:12 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 08 - 09:01 PM
Amos 29 Oct 08 - 01:34 AM
Rapparee 29 Oct 08 - 09:05 AM
Acme 29 Oct 08 - 10:20 AM
Amos 29 Oct 08 - 10:47 AM
Little Hawk 29 Oct 08 - 12:29 PM
Amos 29 Oct 08 - 12:31 PM
MMario 29 Oct 08 - 12:47 PM
Amos 29 Oct 08 - 02:09 PM
Rapparee 29 Oct 08 - 03:45 PM
Acme 29 Oct 08 - 05:27 PM
Amos 29 Oct 08 - 06:20 PM
Rapparee 29 Oct 08 - 06:39 PM
Little Hawk 29 Oct 08 - 08:51 PM
Acme 29 Oct 08 - 11:11 PM
Acme 29 Oct 08 - 11:14 PM
Acme 29 Oct 08 - 11:19 PM
Amos 30 Oct 08 - 01:14 AM
Rapparee 30 Oct 08 - 09:51 AM
Rapparee 30 Oct 08 - 12:05 PM
Little Hawk 30 Oct 08 - 12:56 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 04:26 PM

One speed forward and three to go in reverse.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 04:42 PM

The Rubicon isn't all it is cracked up to be.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 06:20 PM

So, Amos, I see you are perpetuating the tired old myths about the supposed cowardice of Italian fighting men in WWII (who were just as courageous as most other soldiers, but who fought under the handicap of having equipment utterly inadequate in either the modernity or the necessary quantities to be competitive). They lacked tanks with sufficient gun power or armour...no amount of courage gets you out of that hole. They lacked ships with radar...thus they got repeatedly blindsided by the British. They lacked a naval air force (no aircraft carriers), thus were rendered effectively blind and helpless at sea against a British navy well equipped with aircraft carriers. They did NOT lack courageous soldiers, as evidenced by the superb courage of the Italian air squadrons and many other Italian units who fought bravely under the most desperate conditions.

The British did such a great job fashioning the popular myth of the cowardly Italian forces during the war that it is believed to this day. Nice propaganda work on the part of Whitehall, but not true. What defeated the Italians on the battlefield was having inadequate equipment and not nearly enough of it.

And that's not all, Amos. May I point out that your use of the word "tits" makes your sexist tendencies abundantly clear, and that your chances of securing a fellowship at the WSSBA are dwindling away to practically nothing at this point. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 06:58 PM

What's his score for the NYCFTTS?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 07:13 PM

Your blind ignorance is showing, Little Hawk. Most people know the expression to "go tits up" refers to the death of a four-legged animal, not a biped. Your defense of the brave Italians is honorable, and probably no more true than the implication they were generally unbrave. I imagine the distribution curve was about the same as that of the English or the Americans, for that matter. ANd let there be no mistake, I was simply referring to Rapaire's back-pedaling, not impugning him for cowardice. I would not ever imply such a thing, me.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 09:13 PM

So, Mom. When I'm in Ireland next March where should I visit? We did Dublin this year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 09:43 PM

And I've been to Cork, Limerick, Galway, Dingle, Ardfert, Cobh, Kilkenny, Brandon, Youghal, Sligo, Swords, Gallerus, Ballintubber, Knock, and other places.

Maybe Belfast and up that way....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 10:21 PM

When I worked for the Forest Service our fire fighting crew turned the term "tits up" into an art form. It was shortened to "TU" and was then eligible for any suitable saying we could fit to it.

Torn Up, Tires Up, Tits Up, etc. (I'm know there were more, but I don't remember them)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 10:43 PM

Trying go wiggle out of it, eh, Amos? I expected as much. I know perfectly well the popular common uses of the expression "tits up", and I have never liked it. I believe it impugns women and furthermore insults all creatures to some extent, animals included...with the possible exception of the Blue Tit and its close relatives in that particular family of birds.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 08 - 11:30 PM

Dear god, Little Hawk, you certainly do scuttle up to the top of the pole and back down again to the bottom. Never saw such a jackanapes for veering from the sublime to the ridiculous, sometimes within a single sentence. Anyway, I suppose you think the expression "useless as teats on a boar hog" is also disrespectful to our mammalian female companions? Do you think calling someone a dickhead is disrespectful to men in general, and males animals at large? How about referring to military entrenchments as breastworks? Insulting to the fairer sex? And who had the nerve to invent such terms as breast-stroke, breast-plate, breast-bone, breast-beating, breasted (as in tuft-breasted chickadees, obviously a slur on all sorts of "birds), and the powerful verb "to breast" as in tides, hills, streams, and so on? I think you have over-indulged in titaniferous fantasies fallacious, old friend. You're standing is tits-up.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 01:06 AM

Now, Amos, don't start waving your arms around and pacing rapidly up and down as you deliver these impassioned outbursts...it causes shortness of breath and it is unduly hard on the nervous system.   ;-)

You are verging into extreme hyperbole, as is your wont. No, it is only the word "tits" that I object to. I find it coarse and vulgar. I have no objection whatsoever to the word "breast" or "breasts" being used in any of the combinations you alluded to, nor am I offended by the expression "useless as teats on a boar hog". People who are ignorant of the elementary physical structure and function of male pigs do not concern me overly much, I can assure you. There are very few such people in any case, and those few who do exist are quite harmless, in my opinion.

Now look...suppose someone were to say, "Amos should make a clean breast of his ignorance regarding teats on boar hogs..."

Would that be cause for you to be offended? Certainly not!

But suppose someone were to say, "Amos is a tit-faced abomination. He's as useless as six tits on a boar hog..."

THEN you would have cause to be offended!

Clear?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 08:42 AM

Hey LH! "breast" is a uephemism. tits or more correctly teats is the correct term.

Another thing we have to thank Victorian England for.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 09:31 AM

"Teats" is (or at least was) the correct term, agreed. However, it seems to have gone out of style while "breasts" seems to have taken its place. I regard that as a good thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 09:41 AM

My, you certainly have a boatload of pressing opiniopns to sell, don't you? I'm afraid the market has gone teats-up, breasts skyward, ventrally vertical, F.U.B.A.R., down the crapper, out the bottom, crashed, ruined, shot to hell, and collapsed. In short, tits-up.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 09:41 AM

WE prefer the more gentile term "bosom." One goes "bosom up", one "bosoms" the relentless waves, one assaults the enemy's "bosomworks", one grills chicken bosoms. And, of course, one puts those endearing little paper panties on the limbs of roasted chickens and turkeys. Anything less would inflame the bosoms of young gentlemen and ladies with thoughts of insatiable lust, which would lead to the worst excesses of the French Revolution.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 09:46 AM

Mario - "Bosom" is a nice term, yes. Very genteel and charming. I like it.

****

Rave on, Amos. I know that you secretly envy my grace and my general level of good breeding and erudition almost as much as you envy William Shatner's meteoric rise to fame, which is to say: a great deal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 09:55 AM

In fact, Loverly Lulu, who regularly dances at the Legion Hovel, will oft bare her bosom (and other parts) as enhancements to her terpsichorian performances. If she were to simply prance about the stage removing her garments to the raucous shouts of the (mostly) male audience it would be vulgarity indeed and would deservedly be closed by the police officers after her act was complete.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 10:09 AM

Hey LH! "breast" is a uephemism. tits or more correctly teats is the correct term.

Another thing we have to thank Victorian England for.


Pardon me for nit tit picking here, guys, but you've parsed it out wrong.

Breast is the top frontal muscle mass on the outer chest wall. It's shape is immaterial, male and female primates and birds (at least) have them.

Teats/tits are the NIPPLE on the breast. Again, male and female primates both have them. Also do all mammals have teats/tits, regardless of having a muscle mass called a "breast" or not. (And don't forget monotremes and marsupials--there is some kind of tit in the pouch). And of course, birds don't have tits unless they ARE tits.

As you were.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 12:35 PM

ANd while pedantry runs amok, let me add that there is no such word as terpsichorian, but what Rapaire was thinking of was terpsichorean:

terp·si·cho·re·an (tūrps-k-rn, tūrps-kōr-n, -kr-)
adj.
Of or relating to dancing.
n.
A dancer.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 12:51 PM

The word "tits", in common usage among North Americans, does NOT mean just the nipples, it means the entire breasts (nipples included).

"Teats", on the other hand, does mean just the nipples. Therefore I assert that "tit" is a stand alone word. It derives from "teat", but it does not in fact mean the same thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 01:40 PM

Pop quiz!!! Name 5 of the Japanese empire's greatest flying aces of WWII in the next 60 seconds and win an all-expense-paid weekend with the Chretiens (Jean and Alline) in lovely rural Shawinigan, Quebec!

Go!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 01:42 PM

Of course it is, Amos. My mind was running faster than my fingers and I appreciate your pointing out the misspelling to me. Thank you for your kindness.









Bite me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 01:45 PM

No winners! Boy, I pity you people, I really do. And Jean was so looking forward to spending the weekend talking with Amos...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 01:55 PM

But for a consolation prize, you can win the chance to pay for two free tickets from San Diego to Hawaii for Amos, and talk to him long distance!! To win, just name the secret nicknames of the highest three pimples on Rapaire's butt. (You are not qualified to enter if you have been intimate with Rapaire in any of the last three lifetimes).


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 03:11 PM

It may be, LH, but when you think about it--the entire globe can be exposed and you can pretty much get away with it in many venues--as long as the - gasp! - nipple doesn't show. Meaning that while the entire breast may be what is called a "tit," it is still the nipple that is the most important (and importuned) portion of it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 03:15 PM

Definitions of teat on the Web:

The nipple of an animal
www.bestfriendspetcare.com/dog_glossary/dog-terms-T.cfm

Same as "Tit."
sdrc.lib.uiowa.edu/eng/bridges/WaddellGlossary/GlossT.htm

nipple: the small projection of a mammary gland
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

Teat is an alternative word for the nipple of a mammary gland, in humans referred to as a breast, from which milk is discharged. Similarly in cows, goats, etc., it is the projection from the udder through which milk is discharged.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teat

The projection of a mammary gland from which, on female mammals, milk is secreted; An artificial nipple used for bottle-feeding infants
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/teat

Definitions of tit on the Web:

breast: either of two soft fleshy milk-secreting glandular organs on the chest of a woman
nipple: the small projection of a mammary gland
titmouse: small insectivorous birds
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

The tits, chickadees, and titmice comprise Paridae, a large family of small passerine birds which occur in the northern hemisphere and Africa. Most were formerly in the genus Parus.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tit (bird)

A mammary gland, teat; A woman's breast; An idiot; a fool
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/tit

Thus, given that Little Hawk has named himself a small passerine bird, and that he indulges in pure folly at times, not to say idiocy, we have clear evidence that his desire to BEcome One with a Higher Order of Goodness has been finally realized, at least semantically.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 04:25 PM

Gentility
And noblesse oblige
Do not appear
Here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 04:58 PM

Oh, so sayest thou, varlet, thou lover of Large Guns and Swords and Military MAchinery, thou hard-hided poltroon!!!

If you knew how I really felt you would admire my genteel self-restraint, my politesse, my sense of noble expression and finely-turned phrase, my gentrified mien, and all things fine about my contributions here.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 06:12 PM

Oh hell, Amos. You know damned good and well that "here" rarely appears here.

And as for military machinery -- I'M not the guy with naval mines stashed in my backyard "just in case THEY try to invade San Diego!".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 08 - 09:01 PM

Yes, I have some swords and guns. Nothing bigger than a .54 caliber though, and that's a flintlock that's a-building. Well, if you discount the two shotguns, but they're not measured in caliber but in gauge.

Now, I happen to know that Some Who Live In San Diego and who does sea kayaking (but who will otherwise remain nameless here) has a quad-50 in his backyard mounted on an M113 armored personnel carrier; a 105mm howitzer "for duck hunting"; an interesting collection of explosive ordnance, including but not in the least limited to naval mines, and other and sundry devices obtained by fair means or foul from international arms dealers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 01:34 AM

Jeeze, Rapaire, if you were in town visiting this asshole you at least could have dropped my place, too!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 09:05 AM

Apart from my nephew graduating from the USMC and sponging off visiting Amos, is there any good reason to visit San Diego? I intend to spare the city and area when my plans to saw off the LA area and give it a shove towards Easter Island reach fruition, but that's because of the Zoo.

By the way, if you'd like to volunteer your time and chain saw....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 10:20 AM

The beach is pretty, and if you drive straight east over the mountains the desert is also pretty.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 10:47 AM

Now I KNOW you're a Republican--disdain for beauty, cold indifference to life--all the earmarks!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 12:29 PM

Earmarks are what happens when you're a snooper who listens outside people's doors. Surely you are not accusing Rapaire of that? Don't forget, he is a candidate for Vice President of the USA...and such people are simply beyond criticism, don't you know? ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 12:31 PM

Nope. Earmarks are what get cut into the earflaps of hogs for identification purposes.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 12:47 PM

hence the more common meaning today of "major identifying marks/characteristics"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 02:09 PM

about it--the entire globe can be exposed and you can pretty much get away with it in many venues--as long as the - gasp! - nipple doesn't show. Meaning that while the entire breast may be what is called a "tit," it is still the nipple that is the most important (and importuned) portion of it.

Not to linger too long on one point, so to speak, but if the entire globe is exposed, but not the nipple...where IS the darned thing? Mount Everest, garbed in gauzy storm-clouds? The Delta, hidden under a hurricane? Perhaps the Seattle Needle, wrapped in a rainy fogbank? Enquiring Braille students want to know...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 03:45 PM

There's a place near here with the name "Mary's Nipple."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 05:27 PM

Under a pastie, of course. Not the pie type, the sticker type. And sometimes they have tassles.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 06:20 PM

How big would a tassel of that scale have to bew--like an Amazon rain-forest size tassel? A Sahara-scale pastie? I dunno--American ingenuity can only go so far...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 06:39 PM

And let's not forget the Grand Tetons!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 08:51 PM

Also, "the Breasts of Sheba"...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 11:11 PM

Nipple tassle search on Google images.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 11:14 PM

This one in particular should clarify things.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Oct 08 - 11:19 PM

Some of those sites are pretty bizarre. Very bizarre. Bizarre beyond belief.

Ouch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 01:14 AM

Belief is a funny thing--it lowers its standards on the slightest whim or suggestion something might be so.,


Just a whiff of evidence, a shallow coincidence of persuasions, and BAM!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 09:51 AM

There's always MIT.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 12:05 PM

I've voted, Mom. There were a lot of people there, too. I've also been flu shotted, blood tested, and my bone density (measured at my right ankle, not my head) is 114% when compared to a young adult.

Mom, I hope you don't mind that I voted a split ticket, but some of the other side who were running were a LOT better than the other. I mean let's face it, Mom, Karen is young and "hot" and so would make a good County Commissioner and here opponent is a sour-faced old guy. Oh, sure, the old guy had two PhDs and forty years experience in public service and Karen graduated from high school last year, but she IS experienced, if you get my drift Mom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Oct 08 - 12:56 PM

Well...experience counts for a lot, eh?


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