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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 08 Jan 09 - 08:55 PM
Rapparee 09 Jan 09 - 08:52 AM
Amos 09 Jan 09 - 09:44 AM
Acme 09 Jan 09 - 11:05 AM
Amos 09 Jan 09 - 02:48 PM
Amos 09 Jan 09 - 03:17 PM
Acme 09 Jan 09 - 05:21 PM
MMario 10 Jan 09 - 08:48 AM
VirginiaTam 10 Jan 09 - 10:52 AM
Rapparee 10 Jan 09 - 10:57 AM
Acme 10 Jan 09 - 11:56 AM
Acme 10 Jan 09 - 12:45 PM
Amos 10 Jan 09 - 12:45 PM
Little Hawk 10 Jan 09 - 01:00 PM
Rapparee 10 Jan 09 - 03:35 PM
Janie 10 Jan 09 - 03:42 PM
Acme 10 Jan 09 - 03:56 PM
Janie 10 Jan 09 - 03:59 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Jan 09 - 04:30 PM
Rapparee 10 Jan 09 - 05:01 PM
Janie 10 Jan 09 - 05:08 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Jan 09 - 07:29 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Jan 09 - 07:32 PM
Rapparee 11 Jan 09 - 08:45 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Jan 09 - 09:10 PM
Rapparee 11 Jan 09 - 09:15 PM
Acme 11 Jan 09 - 09:24 PM
Rapparee 11 Jan 09 - 09:30 PM
Acme 12 Jan 09 - 12:15 AM
Amos 12 Jan 09 - 12:19 AM
Amos 12 Jan 09 - 12:34 AM
Rapparee 12 Jan 09 - 01:01 PM
Amos 12 Jan 09 - 01:20 PM
Little Hawk 12 Jan 09 - 01:38 PM
MMario 12 Jan 09 - 01:39 PM
Little Hawk 12 Jan 09 - 01:47 PM
Amos 12 Jan 09 - 03:20 PM
Little Hawk 12 Jan 09 - 03:25 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Jan 09 - 03:33 PM
Rapparee 12 Jan 09 - 03:55 PM
Amos 12 Jan 09 - 04:31 PM
Acme 12 Jan 09 - 04:36 PM
Rapparee 12 Jan 09 - 04:51 PM
Amos 12 Jan 09 - 06:20 PM
Rapparee 12 Jan 09 - 08:57 PM
Amos 12 Jan 09 - 09:14 PM
Rapparee 12 Jan 09 - 09:18 PM
Amos 12 Jan 09 - 10:24 PM
Amos 13 Jan 09 - 11:35 AM
Amos 13 Jan 09 - 07:30 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jan 09 - 08:55 PM

You may want to have a copy of IE handy for the occasional website that Firefox won't work on--they are few, but annoying. It's part of Bill's Master Strategy to fail at taking over the world.


S


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 09 - 08:52 AM

Bill quit. Now he just collects money to give away through his foundation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jan 09 - 09:44 AM

Omigod!! Really??


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jan 09 - 11:05 AM

And buy coffee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jan 09 - 02:48 PM

For all the aardvarks on Mudvark.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jan 09 - 03:17 PM

The Aardvarks of Mudcat!--over 300 of them!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jan 09 - 05:21 PM

No aard critters around here, but I can offer up a possum, playing possum. Saw it this afternoon when I stopped to buy a lotto ticket. His number was obviously up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Jan 09 - 08:48 AM

Here you are MOM;

A nice tray of breakfast. I can't believe it's been over 15 hours since anyone checked in with you! What are they thinking of?

It just goes to show you that despite All their whinging about not letting you fall, they don't really care; not the way Stilly and I do. Or Janie. they just hang around because you give them free food and gas money.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 10 Jan 09 - 10:52 AM

WTF? Now I have finally found my way into this thread, what do I say?


I had no water for coffee this morning. Mains were frozen somewhere learing up to the flats. Had to go to ASDA to buy water for coffee. Too late. I now have coffee withdrawal headache which even Klatchian coffee would not ease.

Oh PHUG! What's the point. I won't be back.. I don't often have pointless BS to say that isn't at least fit in some way for other threads.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 09 - 10:57 AM

You don't say, you just be.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jan 09 - 11:56 AM

Clearly Virginia Tam stumbled in to MOAB without reading the owner's manual. It's never pointless. There may be no point, but that is something altogether different.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jan 09 - 12:45 PM

So now there is another little response to MOAB thread going. I guess that is the price of staying in business for so long.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jan 09 - 12:45 PM

If she comes back, I recommend she play MOAB Random Darts with the page numbers up above. If her psychic Karma is in good nick she will soon understand the Entire Zeitgeist of the MOAB!! But you need a powerful karma capable of running over every dogma it sees.


AS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jan 09 - 01:00 PM

Yes. Either that or you need a complete understanding and appreciation of the collective works of William Shatner...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 09 - 03:35 PM

...AND Mr. McGargle and The Sweet Singer Of Michigan.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 10 Jan 09 - 03:42 PM

While I was in New York last week, they had a big windstorm here that apparently blew many random traces from all over out my yard. I was pretty worried and had spent the past several days scouring the neighborhood, looking for them in all my spare time, but I didn't see nary a one, nor did they come when I called.

This morning, though, the wind started up again, and now they are all back, every single one of them. Imagine that!

The wind also blew Gluon back up that wormhole in the old oak stump down by the ditch. Unfortunately, as soon as he emerged he was beset by three of the neighborhood cats, and had jump right back down that hole again. None of the cats followed. I got a good enough look at him to see there was still a bit of string attached to his collar. Other than the fact that he glowed with a weird purple aura, he seemed to be fine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jan 09 - 03:56 PM

I bet Amos has a good string theory to address that collar appendage.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 10 Jan 09 - 03:59 PM

Yes, but will also explain the color appendage?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Jan 09 - 04:30 PM

Those obviously weren't Schroedinger's cats.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 09 - 05:01 PM

"Erwin Schroedinger! You stop teasing the life out of that poor cat, you hear me?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 10 Jan 09 - 05:08 PM

Dunno about that. Were the cats observing themselves or was the environment observing them?

Besides, one of them, (the invisible one), is named Quark.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Jan 09 - 07:29 PM

Hi Mom!

Nobody's posted anything to any threads since 10:51 PM yesterday. I think the Mudcat's broken. This is sort of a test message. If it goes through, lucky me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Jan 09 - 07:32 PM

YES! IT WORKED! I, Bee-dubya-ell, was the first one to post after 21 hours of MC down time! I feel soooo special!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 09 - 08:45 PM

Bee-Dubya, you are special. There is no one like you, no one. No one else can do whatever it is you do, no one else wants to live in a swamp like you do. You were a special child and your education was special. After you were born the mold was broken and I'm sure that your parents, whoever they were, passed the Court Order on to you along with your birth certificate.

Special? Yes, you are and you can rejoice in that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Jan 09 - 09:10 PM

I beg your pardon sir! I do NOT live in a swamp! Yeah, the southeast corner of my property is a bit muggy, 55 acres of the 60 acres parcel that adjoins mine is considered wetland and can't legally be used for anything except hunting, and the county's currently doing some sort of monstrous drainage project on my neighbors' land. But, I repeat, I do NOT live in a swamp! I only live very damned near the swamp.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 09 - 09:15 PM

Are there mosquitoes? If there are mosquitoes it's a swamp. If there aren't any I most sincerely apologize for saying that it was.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jan 09 - 09:24 PM

If that's your criteria, Rap, then most of the U.S. is a swamp.

MOM, I hope someone got you something to eat when they came bursting back into the room. YOU don't have to eat a special diet this week.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jan 09 - 09:30 PM

Neither do I, until Wednesday. Have some more filet mignon, Mom -- and some of this nice red wine to wash it down with.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 12:15 AM

Red and purple. They said none of those during the "liquid diet" day.

Ugg.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 12:19 AM

A lovely weekend-- a long trek into Mexico to visit the dental surgeon and running around with visiting relatives, dinners here and there, theatre (the San Diego Rep production of "Doubt" is excellent.)

Tomorrow the Eye surgeon counsels me on the relative merits of blindness.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 12:34 AM

AND I made delicious walnut-and-chocolate chip COOKIES.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 01:01 PM

How very nice for you. I very much hope that Barky was with you, for life without a trumpeter is dull, dingy, gray, and lacking in voie de vivre. In fact, a study by St. Dismas University showed quite clearly that the root cause of 97.4% of all suicides is a lack of trumpet (or cornet) music, and another 2% is caused by William Shatner's rendition of "Lucy In The Sky." The remainder is due to unknown causes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 01:20 PM

I guess one benefit of being a solipsist is you can have any statistics you want, huh?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 01:38 PM

Absolutely. For instance, Shane claims that 98% of all the women in Canada want to have wild sex with him...and that the remaining 2% already have. That would make...let's see...2% of about 13 million women is...umm...?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 01:39 PM

260,000


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 01:47 PM

Right. Now I am trying to figure out where Shane would have found the time and stamina to do that....assuming he started at age 12 or 13...and I think he's in his mid-to-late 20's now...you figure a maximum of 15 years with 365 days a year gives...5,475 days.

Okay. So you divide 260,000 women by 5,475 days...

That means that Shane has, according to him, done the dirty deed with an average of 47.5 women per day ever since he was 12 or 13 years old.

Wow, eh? Where would he get time to eat, sleep, and recharge his batteries?

And who are those women, and why have they not come forward and given personal testimonials?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 03:20 PM

Werll, PR is a wonderful thing, but as your beloved Shatner demonstrates, it can only cover up for so much disappointment in actual performance, Little Hawk.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 03:25 PM

The people will believe whatever they hear most often, Amos. That is the key. All governments are well aware of that fact. Alas, Shane is not a government nor does he control any large media outlets. Think what he could accomplish if he were in such a position...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 03:33 PM

Shane believes what he hears most often. What he hears most often are those hallucinatory voices in his head telling him what an exceptional example of humanity he is. If he'd only get the right meds those voices would shut up. Then he'd believe he's an exceptional example of a dirtbag, which is precisely what the rest of humanity believes about him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 03:55 PM

Suppose the rest of humanity took the meds? Would that have changed their opinion of the late Shame McBride?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 04:31 PM

Well, they wouldn't care if he was a dirtbag. They'd be all, "Yeah, man, Shane is a dirtbag and it's beautiful and like, EX-cellent, dude!" and like that.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 04:36 PM

Little Hawk, how many times have we told you to watch out where you place your decimal point?

That should have read 0.98 and 0.02 percent, respectively. Now do the math.

It's still a pretty big number, outcome-wise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 04:51 PM

Where does YOUR decimal point? And isn't it impolite to point?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 06:20 PM

It would be impolite, Rapaire, if you had a whole one. But, since it's just a decimal, you will probably end up in the "more to be pitied than censured" category.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 08:57 PM

If 'tis true 'tis a pity and the pity 'tis, 'tis true.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 09:14 PM

Another century mark!! And, BTW, it seems to me you made exactly the same grammatical error about a thousand back!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 09:18 PM

Oh, no I didn't:

Polonius:
    Your noble son is mad:
    Mad call I it, for to define true madness,
    What is't but to be nothing else but mad?
    But let that go.

    Queen:
    More matter with less art.

    Polonius:
    Madam, I swear I use no art at all
    That he's mad, 'tis true, 'tis true 'tis pity,
    And pity 'tis 'tis true—a foolish figure,
    But farewell it, for I will use no art.

                     
                            -- Hamlet Act 2, scene 2, 92–99

I merely misquoted. Now apologize or I will run you through again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 09 - 10:24 PM

I apologize not, for in thy misquote thou didst commit the error of which I spoke. Go run through thy hand, it will profit thee better.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jan 09 - 11:35 AM

But watch you close well the outhouse door, for thence cometh our Mom in great ire!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jan 09 - 07:30 PM

21 Dec 03 - 08:47 PM (#1077555)
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapaire

If 'tis true, 'tis a pity, and the pity 'tis, 'tis true.

4 Nov 05 - 09:39 PM (#1605189)
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapaire

I wish to make the following statements and/or questions. They are made freely and without any coericion or intimidation of any sort or by anyone, human OR FAERY.

1. I have never watched "The Brady Bunch."
2. KMnO3 makes a fine bath salt.
3. Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.
4. freds and faeries are your best friends.
5. Who would have suspected Ralph?
6. A good hondo needs a good burner.
7. Duns Scotus is dead.
8. Every good boy deserves fudge.
9. If 'tis true, 'tis a pity, and the pity 'tis, 'tis true.
10. Besides, the wench is dead.

: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos

1. A hondo is a form of Andalusian lament or sad song; why does it need a burner.

2. 'Tis is a contraction of "it is. Therefore it would be incorrect to say "and the pity 'tis, 'tis true". Prefer: "And the pity is, 'tis true".

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapaire - PM
Date: 01 Feb 06 - 08:23 AM

I will go, I will go,
When the fighting is over
To the Hopeful Land of George
Which I left to be a soldier
I will go, I will goooooooo.

No, really. I didn't listen to the State of Union rant last night, except for a few moments in the car while driving home from fencing. And even those few moments weren't very enthralling. I mean, where were the stirring phrases, the call to action, the emotion, the soul-stirring passages? Why, it sounded like a staged speech with "Applause" signs on the wall behind the speaker! Has the oratory of the world come to this?? Where are the thunders of Daniel Webster, of William Jennings Bryan, of Ralph Ingersoll, of Martin Luther King, of Patrick Henry, of Lord North, of Daniel O'Connell, of Padraic Pearse, of Rodney Claphart? Gone, all gone!

If 'tis true 'tis a pity, and the pity 'tis 'tis true.

01 Feb 06 - 08:37 AM (#1658965)
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos

If 'tis true 'tis a pity, and the pity 'tis 'tis true.

Dear Rapaire:

The contraction 'tis is derived for "it" + "is", as you know perfectly well. It should therefore be clear that using it in the expression "the pity is" is in appropriate. Your correct choices in this expression would be either "the pity o' 'tis, 'tis true" which I find awkward, or "the pity is, 'tis true".

This has been pointed out to you before. Don't make me come over there.

A

Hmmmm?


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