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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 17 Sep 09 - 07:14 PM
Amos 17 Sep 09 - 07:28 PM
Little Hawk 17 Sep 09 - 08:44 PM
Amos 17 Sep 09 - 08:53 PM
Rapparee 17 Sep 09 - 08:53 PM
Acme 17 Sep 09 - 09:14 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Sep 09 - 09:32 PM
Little Hawk 17 Sep 09 - 09:47 PM
Rapparee 17 Sep 09 - 11:10 PM
Little Hawk 18 Sep 09 - 09:24 AM
Rapparee 18 Sep 09 - 10:05 AM
Amos 18 Sep 09 - 10:38 AM
Little Hawk 18 Sep 09 - 10:41 AM
Rapparee 18 Sep 09 - 12:51 PM
Amos 18 Sep 09 - 02:43 PM
Acme 18 Sep 09 - 02:46 PM
Rapparee 18 Sep 09 - 03:13 PM
Amos 18 Sep 09 - 05:03 PM
Rapparee 18 Sep 09 - 10:44 PM
Acme 18 Sep 09 - 11:01 PM
Acme 18 Sep 09 - 11:31 PM
Amos 18 Sep 09 - 11:59 PM
Acme 19 Sep 09 - 11:04 AM
Rapparee 19 Sep 09 - 06:17 PM
Amos 19 Sep 09 - 06:50 PM
Acme 19 Sep 09 - 10:18 PM
Amos 19 Sep 09 - 11:40 PM
Amos 20 Sep 09 - 11:42 AM
Acme 20 Sep 09 - 11:43 AM
Amos 20 Sep 09 - 05:14 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 09 - 07:01 PM
Janie 20 Sep 09 - 08:50 PM
Janie 20 Sep 09 - 09:37 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 09 - 09:54 PM
Amos 20 Sep 09 - 11:12 PM
Rapparee 21 Sep 09 - 10:33 AM
Amos 21 Sep 09 - 11:46 AM
Acme 21 Sep 09 - 11:52 AM
Amos 21 Sep 09 - 12:01 PM
Little Hawk 21 Sep 09 - 12:52 PM
Rapparee 21 Sep 09 - 01:01 PM
Amos 21 Sep 09 - 01:42 PM
MMario 21 Sep 09 - 01:52 PM
Rapparee 21 Sep 09 - 01:54 PM
Acme 21 Sep 09 - 01:56 PM
MMario 21 Sep 09 - 01:59 PM
Little Hawk 21 Sep 09 - 03:46 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Sep 09 - 05:03 PM
Rapparee 21 Sep 09 - 05:17 PM
Amos 21 Sep 09 - 11:21 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Sep 09 - 07:14 PM

Gay lady? What gay lady?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Sep 09 - 07:28 PM

Read first, grasshopper!! THEN write!!


The Gray Lady as she is respectfully known amongst East Coast intellegentsia, is the New York Times, at her best.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Sep 09 - 08:44 PM

Look first, grasshopper...THEN jump.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Sep 09 - 08:53 PM

There was a Lady, and a Lady Gray
Of Children she had none!
She wrote all day and printed a night
Until the rising sun, poor dear,
Until the rising sun.

...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Sep 09 - 08:53 PM

Oh. That elitist East Coast liberal newspaper, trumpeting socialism and communism and denigrating Good American Values. Kinda like the Toronto paper -- unAmerican to the core.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Sep 09 - 09:14 PM

That's a clever application, though it has limited application.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Sep 09 - 09:32 PM

♫♫

The Old Gray Lady, she ain't what she used to be...

♫♫


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Sep 09 - 09:47 PM

We have one Toronto paper that sings the Fox line, Rapaire. It's the "Toronto Sun", and it's probably the worst paper in Canada. Oddly enough, it is the almost universal choice of the poorest and least educated people in Ontario...the very ones who suffer most from a neo-conservative political agenda. The "Sun" appeals to their frustration, their anger, their fear, and their lust...in very obvious ways.

It has a minimum of text and a maximum of pictures and ads. Very little content, but lots of sound and fury, that's the Sun. It also has a daily "Sunshine Girl" who presents herself coyly for the male readers to ogle at. They were accused of sexism over that...so they now have a daily "Sunshine Boy" too. Ha! Almost nobody cares or even looks at him, but he's there just to prove that the Sun is not "sexist".

Too funny.

The other Toronto papers wouldn't stoop to such tawdry means of garnering attention, of course. ;-) They have a tradition of good taste to uphold, unlike the Sun.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Sep 09 - 11:10 PM

Yeah, well, they're still unAmerican.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Sep 09 - 09:24 AM

And proud of it! (except the guys at the Sun...they cry in their coffee every morning because we haven't yet been annexed by the US of A.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Sep 09 - 10:05 AM

You mean they can't cry in their beer like REAL Americans would? And that other paper, watchacallit, "The Glob and Maul" or something. Why do Canadians have to be unAmerican? You guys need a few groups of the John Birch Society up there. That'd straighten ya out!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Sep 09 - 10:38 AM

Well, for one thing, it would prevent them from being Canadians, and we'd have to hire new ones.

And for another, it is part of the conspiracy. They have to pass as Canadians, and if they start acting all American, we would see right through them, and it weould blow their cover.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Sep 09 - 10:41 AM

Take off, ya hoser! Matter of fact, the guys at the Sun DO cry in their beer over not being Americans yet. That's just later in the day, eh?

The Toronto papers are as follows:

The Toronto Star - tends toward a liberal "everyman" outlook. Dislikes the conservative agenda, and champions social causes and investigations into corruption. Has the best comics page! ;-D My favorite Toronto paper by far.

The Globe and Mail - Tends toward a very sober business and upper class outlook. Has a weighty and prestigious place in the world of print. Fairly dependable on the whole.

The Toronto Sun - slightly to the right of Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh - good if you can barely read, but like color pictures. Into sex, violence, militarism, and sensation.

The National Post (?) - Tends toward a rapacious neocon business outlook. It is the paper that makes Conrad Black feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

The Star and the Globe are by are the most influential and have been around for a long time. The Sun emerged following the demise of the old Telegram, and it is a hangout for archconservatives, plus the odd true inconoclast and independent thinker (like Eric Margolis, who writes some quite good stuff from time to time).

The National Post doesn't seem to be doing that well, so they may not last too much longer. I won't miss them if they go.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Sep 09 - 12:51 PM

Globe and MAIL??

REAL Americans would have called it the Globe and Anchor. From the halls of Montyzoomer ta the sures of Tripolee!!! Semper Fi, mac.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Sep 09 - 02:43 PM

Well, Rapaire, and so what? Canadfians aren't "real Americans". They've been make believe Americans ever since the Civil War.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Sep 09 - 02:46 PM

Hey, MOM, it hasn't rained here yet today. But it might.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Sep 09 - 03:13 PM

Just our northern territories....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Sep 09 - 05:03 PM

♫♫
You always must confess
BS is still BS,
A jest is still a jest!
The fundamental things apply
As we BS.

And when BSers type
They do it still with tripe,
But only with the best!
No matter what the future brings
As we BS! ♫♫

Pirated dactyls - fictions by the mile!!
Hearts full of passion - comedy and smiles!
Woman or men - as long as it has style!
That no one can deny.
♫♫
It's still the same old story
A search for love and glory
An honorable quest!
MOAB will always welcome posts,
As we BS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Sep 09 - 10:44 PM

Round up the usual suspects.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Sep 09 - 11:01 PM

I rained, hard, since I last popped in.

My back yard is a mess of tall grass, weeds, soggy dog poop and weird mushrooms that have arrived through spontaneous generation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Sep 09 - 11:31 PM

That Bill Maher cracks me up. In his latest Health Care Reform essay he confronts fat Americans and their unwillingness to deal with bad diet and no exercise. Says junk food should be taxed.

    And since Americans can only be prodded into doing something with money, we need to tax crappy foods that make us sick like we do with cigarettes, and alcohol -- and alcohol actually serves a useful function in society in that it enables unattractive people to get laid, which is more than you can say for Skittles.

[snip]
    And get this: Surgeon General Benjamin had previously been a nutritional advisor to Burger King. The only advice a "health expert" should give Burger King is to stop selling food. The "nutritional advisor" job was described as, "promoting balanced diets and active lifestyle choices" -- and who better to do that than the folks who hand you meat and corn syrup through a car window? When you have a surgeon general who comes from Burger King, it's a message to lobbyists, and that message is, "Have it your way."


Clever fellow. I read somewhere that he said he never married because "he scares women with his intelligence." Maybe true, but he never met MOM, did he?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Sep 09 - 11:59 PM

HE speaks bitter truth and he spices it with laughter so as not to get sucked into a fight. Smart approach.

If it is raining in Texas there's hope our SoCal drought could break soon!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Sep 09 - 11:04 AM

I think we got the rain that was intended for So. Cal and the Rockies and the Pacific Northwest. We'll try to push it back onto the track. (The sun is out this morning, but it is so wet that mowing the lawn is liable to bring on a coronary).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Sep 09 - 06:17 PM

Mother dearest! Hie thee to the top of the heap post haste!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Sep 09 - 06:50 PM

Oh, good Rapaire, that fgleetly sets aright our Mother in distress. Oh,. kind, oh dauntless, oh brave, nay, oh fine Rapaire for such gallantry to display.

This morning I was again striding through the noisy midden of a Mexican city returning from a dental check and removal of the stitched where the implant rests. The magic of flashing black Mexican eyes in old creased faces and young unflawed ones cannot be gain said. Muscled soldiers with rifles, full breasted young mothers with ninas in arm, the bewildered and aged and the young and hopeful, ebb and fglow through these streets like salt water ripples combining into a tide. Here you can buy anything--hand-tooled belts, hand-knotted hammocks, plaster saints, boots and holsters, sombreros, any drug ever sold over any counter, and many under, the best of liquors and the worst of them, margarita to drink and even humans for companionship. Everything is for sale, but the smiles and the laughter, they are all free.

The pedestrian line across th eborder is hundreds of yards long and thousands of souls strong, each with a story. Anglos, Hispanics, Africans, Middle-easterns, AMerican Indians and Indian Hindi, all wander across this border in a day, one direction or the other. Some of them cross effortlessly--the obvious citizens, the ones with passports and recognizable middle-class values. Others are looked askance, and a few sent off for secondary questions before they get to walk the skybridge across the border, landing in the land of McDonald's (the first one is only a dozen yards away when you come out into California) and the huge blue welcoming sign that tells one and all, without condition, "Welcome to California". Here, that still means much.


I am home now, converting my front plants from sprinklers to drip. The water rates will be rising again.,

q


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Sep 09 - 10:18 PM

I heard about Mexican insurance being very reasonable and the care good. Have you considered it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Sep 09 - 11:40 PM

I have no idea. We got excellent medical and dental care when we lived down near Guadalajara, but I don't know what the deal was.

When I write sloppy, typo-poxed posts like that I get SO embarrassed. I should type v-e-r-y- s-l-o-w-l-y.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 09 - 11:42 AM

Oh, fie on he who would his Mom deny
ANd let a page of time go slowly by,
And say he did not know.
Who'd watched his heart untouched as she declined
Hearing the ruthless ticks of time,
Bringing her low
And shed no tear nor write no post,
Watching our Mom become a ghost!
It cries for you, who loves he rmost
To save her now.


Malathion Whimnsey III
Herbal Decoction and Lines
Roman Attention Press 1866


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Sep 09 - 11:43 AM

A friend emailed his dismay at not finding a good biographical obit for Mary Travers. "Do you suppose Mudcat is discussing her death?"

Does the Pope wear a beanie?

I sent him the link.

Lovely day, MOM! Time to shake off that hangover and roll out of bed. The sunshine is beautiful and the temperature is great!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 09 - 05:14 PM

So, um, he's not using a computer? Doesn't like them much? Thinks "google" is a large numerical suffix?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 09 - 07:01 PM

Well, I got Deckman and wife outa the house. His wife's a lovely person.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 20 Sep 09 - 08:50 PM

And Bob is not?

Or is it simply that Bob's your uncle?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 20 Sep 09 - 09:37 PM

Been reading up on assorted bear species, since I'm sure ya'll are burning to know what I have been up to today.

And trying to convince myself I am not developing bronchitis. And getting used to taking Mobic, which is really helping with arthritic pain and mobility, while I wonder about what it is doing in interaction with some other stuff I take to my liver and platelets.

Serious question, Amos. how safe do you feel in your trips south of the border right now?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 09 - 09:54 PM

Ah, well, I'd best go check on the laundry, Mom. You raised me up to be clean and tidy and I guess 50% ain't too bad.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 09 - 11:12 PM

Janie:

There's no shit in the area I travel in. There's a huge tourist industry in Tijuana, and the main corridor of it is Avenida Revolucion. Every third building is a pharmacia, every second one a leather goods and novelties store and the third one over is a fun margarita bar. In between, dental clinics. The heavy stuff you have read about is over on the other side of town to the east, or inland. As ide from a slightly heavier sprinkling of federales with lightweight machine guns here and there, I have seen no signs of the troubles in the area I go through. My dentist is two blocks west of Avenida Revollucion, on a busy downtown avenue called Ninoes Heroes (The Avenue of the Heroic Children, named after a historic episode). So to answer your question, I feel perfectly safe.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 10:33 AM

Ah, but are you safe from the Lichtensteiner drug cartel that is moving into San Diego? Its boss, "Don" Franz Hermann "Biggy" Kleinkopf, is not loathe to use anything, up to and including small nuclear weapons, on those who oppose him. He is the "Capo di Capoes" too, having taken out all of the rival capo makers in Europe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 11:46 AM

YEah, they're no big deal--they're making their big play in Ibuprofen, and I never touch the stuff.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 11:52 AM

You should, if you drink at all. It's the Tylenol to avoid if you have more than two drinks a day. Those Lichtensteiners know this, so they're planning to corner the ibuprophen market.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 12:01 PM

Except for occasional events I don't -- but if I do a couple of aspirin seems to do it for me.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 12:52 PM

I've been away. Did you miss me terribly? ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 01:01 PM

L(ichtenstiener) Hawk...hmmmmmmm.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 01:42 PM

Been out gallivanting, have ye? About time you showed up. Get to work, and never mind the hangover.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 01:52 PM

Thirty one score and 9 pages ago King Khandyu brought forth upon the Mudcat a new thread......


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 01:54 PM

Yeah. Get to work doin' what Biggy told ya to. Gotta CRUSH those in San Diego. Remember, like Biggy says, them who ain't with us are agin us. 'Course, he says it in German.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 01:56 PM

We haven't seen Leo for a long longer than we haven't seen you, LH. Welcome back, MM.

I was reading a New York Times article about a couple who live in a re-purposed Brooklyn funeral home. He's an artist. Jean-Marie Grenier has some beautiful work coming out of the basement, where they used to store the caskets.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 01:59 PM

I've been lurking; and of course it's h*ll-month at w*rk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 03:46 PM

Liechtenstein is the real hidden power in this world. People worry about China. They obsess about Iran. They fear the might of the USA. All of them are nothing next to Liechtenstein..."the Sleeping Croissant".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 05:03 PM

Hi, Mom!

I was eating a piece of toast this morning, and realized that the pattern of air holes in the toast looked remarkably like the Hodge 301 star cluster in the Tarnatula Nebula in The Large Magellanic Cloud. I'm sure it's someone from someplace in Hodge 301 trying to communicate with me. What I'm wondering is whether the message was sent using conventional radio waves, which would take roughly 180,000 years to reach Earth, or whether toast-based communication is instantaneous. Perhaps toast is immune to relativistic constraints. If that turns out to be the case, could we build toast-based spacecraft that can zip from one part of the universe to another in a matter of miliseconds?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 05:17 PM

If you did, you'd be toast.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 11:21 PM

Toasting ordinary bread actually does something strange to the entangled quanta in its makeup, and makes them into hard links that can be used as a sounding board for the right technology from multi-light-years away. The problem is getting a Rosetta Stone.


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