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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 19 Mar 10 - 10:27 AM
Amos 19 Mar 10 - 11:12 AM
Amos 19 Mar 10 - 11:13 AM
Little Hawk 19 Mar 10 - 12:17 PM
Acme 19 Mar 10 - 12:52 PM
Amos 19 Mar 10 - 02:37 PM
Amos 19 Mar 10 - 02:57 PM
Little Hawk 19 Mar 10 - 03:51 PM
Little Hawk 19 Mar 10 - 03:58 PM
Eiseley 19 Mar 10 - 06:27 PM
Amos 19 Mar 10 - 08:57 PM
Rapparee 19 Mar 10 - 10:16 PM
Acme 20 Mar 10 - 01:15 AM
Rapparee 20 Mar 10 - 09:16 AM
Little Hawk 20 Mar 10 - 10:36 AM
Amos 20 Mar 10 - 11:28 AM
Eiseley 20 Mar 10 - 12:00 PM
Acme 20 Mar 10 - 12:49 PM
Amos 20 Mar 10 - 01:37 PM
Amos 20 Mar 10 - 06:21 PM
Acme 20 Mar 10 - 07:01 PM
Amos 20 Mar 10 - 09:07 PM
Rapparee 20 Mar 10 - 09:12 PM
Amos 21 Mar 10 - 01:18 AM
Amos 21 Mar 10 - 11:45 AM
Acme 21 Mar 10 - 12:48 PM
Amos 21 Mar 10 - 01:43 PM
Acme 21 Mar 10 - 02:52 PM
gnu 21 Mar 10 - 04:05 PM
Amos 21 Mar 10 - 04:05 PM
Acme 21 Mar 10 - 05:47 PM
gnu 21 Mar 10 - 06:02 PM
Amos 21 Mar 10 - 06:03 PM
gnu 21 Mar 10 - 06:25 PM
Rapparee 21 Mar 10 - 06:33 PM
Acme 21 Mar 10 - 06:33 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 21 Mar 10 - 06:36 PM
Acme 21 Mar 10 - 06:53 PM
Eiseley 21 Mar 10 - 07:12 PM
Acme 21 Mar 10 - 08:46 PM
Rapparee 21 Mar 10 - 09:07 PM
Rapparee 21 Mar 10 - 09:50 PM
Rapparee 21 Mar 10 - 10:36 PM
Amos 21 Mar 10 - 10:55 PM
Eiseley 21 Mar 10 - 11:12 PM
Acme 21 Mar 10 - 11:56 PM
Eiseley 22 Mar 10 - 07:44 AM
Rapparee 22 Mar 10 - 08:47 AM
Rapparee 22 Mar 10 - 08:58 AM
Eiseley 22 Mar 10 - 09:06 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 10 - 10:27 AM

Why that's amazing. He could have been writing about Rapaire!!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 10 - 11:12 AM

Why wise Eiseley eyes primes I dinna ken;
But primes have minds of their own and will not
Be divided. It may be, then,
She seeks a kindred archetype, so to inform
In the ways of faultlessness. Primes
Know only wholeness of themselves and One
Is their sole divisor. Even time
Cannot change their integrity. Done
is Done and when your number's Prime
You stand unflawed for all accounts, all times.
This may be why wise Eiseley eyes the Primes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 10 - 11:13 AM

Today, the explosion; tomorrow, just another day.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Mar 10 - 12:17 PM

Today, guacamole. Tomorrow, the world!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Mar 10 - 12:52 PM

Today, the garden!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 10 - 02:37 PM

This thread is oozing the theme music from some Warner Brothers cartoon, where Wile E. Coyote is trying to sneak around a rock outcropping to capture a Road Runner but the orchestra keeps making dark tense musical clues...




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 10 - 02:57 PM

* You know who's got a tough job? The head of the Indian Rationalists' Association.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Mar 10 - 03:51 PM

For heaven's sake! LOL! Any so-called "holy man" who states that he can kill someone by mystical power and then sets out to do so as a public demonstration of his omnipotence is very clearly a complete phony in the first place, because if he WAS a genuine holy man, he would not be engaging in such attention-getting and valueless (not to mention evil) activities as attempting to publicly kill another person just to prove he can do it.

That is not what being a holy man is about. You're supposed to assist and improve life, not destroy it.

This guy should have claimed to be a demon, not a holy man. It would have been a lot closer to the truth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Mar 10 - 03:58 PM

And if he had....well, he would have publicly failed to meet the demonic requirements of real demonhood! ;-D He could then have been defrocked of his demonic credentials and titles and turned into a national laughing stock...as I gather has happened anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 19 Mar 10 - 06:27 PM

Like jewels glinting in a rushing stream
The children of the Mother brightly shine.
How many are the stones that lie between
The ever-winding, narrow banks of thine?
It's easy to assume a flash of wit
Is just a sparkle or a glint of sun
Reflected from the surface of the brook
Instead of shining from a clever pun.

But I, who've floated all that long, strange glide,
Have learned to recognize the subtle gleam
From hidden gems that rest beneath the tide:
Kind Amos, lovely Sage, bold Rapaire
And others, whose bright voices join the throng.
O, each of you, I thank you for your song!


Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 10 - 08:57 PM

Whoof!! Quelle sparqule!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 10 - 10:16 PM

I can kill people using only the common principles of physics and chemistry. So why waste time learning to do it some other way? Killing is easy enough as it is...and far, far too frequent.

Now, if he said he could beat me in, say, checkers by moving the pieces only by using his mystical powers THAT would be something else. But killing? Phooey.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Mar 10 - 01:15 AM

If you want to do some killing or mental or mystical levitating, you can come help weed my garden.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 10 - 09:16 AM

I got some Army surplus weed killer. It comes in 55 gallon drum with an orange stripe around them. It's labeled something like "Herbicide, Butyl Ester, 2,4,5-D" or something. Kills the weeds real good. Also the lawn, the trees, the flowers, large parts of the golf course, and some of the neighbors. The barrels pretty old and rusty, but thats okay because I put it where any leaks will run onto neighbor's place.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Mar 10 - 10:36 AM

You're like Chongo, Rapaire, you go straight for results by the most direct route possible... ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 10 - 11:28 AM

He is the very model of a modernistic psychopath,
He has the aberrations that the very modern psycho hath,
He calculates the present using antiquated dino math
He is the very model of a modernistic psychopath!


...Well, I'm sorry. But how many words or phrases can you come up with which rhyme with psychopath?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 20 Mar 10 - 12:00 PM

Psychopath Rhymes

bubble bath   (What I will take after all the yard work)
Amos hath   (Already used this word as a rhyme)
Plastered lath        (what my house walls are made of)
Polymath (all you MOABs)
Psychopath (the word itself)
Raven quath (past perfect of quoth)
Eiseley wrath (what my children fear)


There's one more, but I need to wait until after Sunday to post it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Mar 10 - 12:49 PM

Thank god he's talking about 2,4,5D. I thought he might have some napalm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 10 - 01:37 PM

Well, I was looking for two or three-point rhymes not just that last syllable. But hey, when you're up agin it, you gotta use what comes to hand. I love rhyming "polymath" with "psychopath". It seems so...so....I dunno, so MOAB somehow.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 10 - 06:21 PM

SO...what happens on Sunday, then? For any such proposition, to be writ and put up by Eiseley, must sure be put wisely.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Mar 10 - 07:01 PM

Why, Sunday is the second day of spring, and maybe, just maybe, down here in Texas, Spring Will Return. Because right now it is friggin' winter again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 10 - 09:07 PM

Well, I am sorry to hear it, Stilly. You know, you could possibly get yourself a transfer to UCSD... It would make your years much easier.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 10 - 09:12 PM

Also

garden path
momey rath
insert[ed] [a] cath (short for "catheterization" or "catheter")
lovely Kath (short for "Kathleen," "Katherine," etc.)

e.g.,

Take the lovely Kath
Down the garden path
To insert a cath
In a momey rath.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 01:18 AM

Brilliant, sir. You must be home where you can reach the Reference Room's Rhyming Dictionary....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 11:45 AM

It is a balmy Sunday morning here in SOuthern California; blue skies and the first rays of Spring waft through the neighborhood. The city is alive and reading up on the days events, while in its secret heart it rejoices that the chilly rains of winter are now behind us, and the Beautiful Days of Paradise --our normal fair--have returned unmarred. We celebrate that the Pacific Ocean has stayed in its place, and that we have not fallen into it lock and stock. We celebrate that we had no freezing, no snow, no bitter hail, in our hivernal transition. We rejoice that we are California, where lives go to be reborn, where laid back is a Senior Policy, and whence all consciousness comes from returns.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 12:48 PM

36o this morning, the snow overnight didn't stick. Good thing I didn't plant the garden yet. MOM was planning to sand a wrought iron bench we picked up at the dump last week, but it's too cold to go out and neither of us wants all of those old paint chips in the house.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 01:43 PM

ISn't there someone near with a sandblaster? Oh, the agonies saved!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 02:52 PM

A sandblaster in the house doesn't sound any better than sand paper, Amos. What are you thinking?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 04:05 PM

Amos... wow dude! That is, like, fuckin poetic man. Yeah, I see it too. I am close to being Caliverted, eh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 04:05 PM

Put it in the back of your truck and take it to a man who has a small sandblaster. They usually run them inside a tent like a paint booth. For a small sum he will shot-blast or sand-blast or water-blast every iota of paint, rust and grime off the thing and you'll be ready to prime and paint it in a day instead of weeks of sanding.


Just a thought.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 05:47 PM

I had that thought also. Or dipping it, but I think dipping metal isn't so good for the metal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 06:02 PM

Depends on the dip. Some are better than others. Make sure the dip you hire uses the proper dip.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 06:03 PM

No dipshits....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 06:25 PM

That's what I said.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 06:33 PM

I now know who Eiseley is and can confirm that s/he has indeed read the ENTIRE MOAB corpus from beginning to end. He or she is now resting in a quiet place in the Deliriously Joyful Valley Home For the Terminally, pending transfer to the NYCFTTS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 06:33 PM

Dippity to raw. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 06:36 PM

Whew! Rapaire left the room for a minute. Hey MOM, he stole my rhyme. I was going to say something about Atta, Kath! (rhyming with psychopath) that my dad used to say. But he had "sussed me out" as Amos said, earlier. Now he's back. But I'm not scared. Happy Day! I can participate. Little Hawk, he has something for you that I think you'll like.
Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 06:53 PM

And the words that were pronounced were:


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 07:12 PM

I believe all of the words were pronounced. At least they were all vocalized, not mouthed, and none of them had to be written on a napkin because they were unpronounceable.

Eiseley.

I'm just so happy I can post with a clear conscience now!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 08:46 PM

Aw, come on.

What did you say when you dropped the dime on yourself? Inquiring minds want to know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 09:07 PM

S/he didn't. I'd very strong suspicions for a couple of weeks or more now, but for Certain Reasons couldn't voice them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 09:50 PM

By the way, here's a recent photo of Eiseley.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 10:36 PM

You can save a bundle and do your own sandblasting. I used to sandblast granite all the time -- it's easier than saying "quahog quarters converted convection". Put the item to be sandblasted in a convenient place, where the dust created won't get into the environment (a living room is perfect). Get yourself some fine, dry, sand (white is preferred, but not necessary). Into a soda straw suck some sand, and blow it at the item to be sandblasted just as hard as you can. Pinch down the end which is not in your mouth for a finer stream -- a "bendy straw" can get you into those hard-to-reach places.

WARNING: Do not keep the sandblaster on one place too long or you can sandblast right through the object. Also, don't inhale through the straw.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 10:55 PM

Aw, c'mon, we want the whole story. Sheesh!! Bleedin' autocratic bureaucrat!!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 11:12 PM

Okay, Okay, but later on tonight. My youngest wants to use the computer. By the way, here is a photo I took today of Rapaire:
What a cat!

Oh, by the way, Stilly, how do you make the link open in a new window?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 11:56 PM

Here's your link:

http://www.marshallpl.org/

<a href="http://www.marshallpl.org/" target="_blank">Your wording here</a>


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 07:44 AM

Thank you, Stilly.

With pounding heart and clammy hands, the emissary walked along the narrow piazza to the home of the renowned sword-master. She had parked up around the bend, in front of the home of another friend, to throw curious passers-by off the scent. As she strode, outwardly nonchalant, she wondered again if she was going round the twist herself.

In answer to her ring, the inner wooden door swung open, revealing in the doorway—NO ONE! With a breath of relief, the unwitting victim of dramatic irony felt a wave of familiarity and stepped inside. This was, after all, Rapaire's home. And he, master of the dramatic, was standing stone-faced between the open door and the wall. All awkwardness was gone.

Ever enigmatic, Rapaire spoke. "Cobwebs," he intoned. "Cobwebs are on this door." Feeling right at home, the gift-bearer tripped over to the table with a light heart and the Lovely Lady Pat relieved her of the smaller of her burdens: a plate of warm cookies.

Pat and Kat were soon joined by the erstwhile Ra, and after a discussion of Other Subjects, the newest member of MOAB waltzed into a long-winded, circuitous, foundation-laying explanation. She can't even remember the exact words (though they were all pronounced), but they included such things as Universe and Community and Horizon-L and Permission. Under Rapaire's mild and somewhat amused gaze, the words got smaller and fainter until Miz K. finally paused for breath.

"You're not telling me anything I didn't already know, EISELEY," Herr Direktor said. And the final shards of discomfort melted away. No wonder Rapaire had come up with that purloined rhyme for psychopath!

But he seemed pleased with the "I heart MOAB" cap, and Lovely Lady Pat seemed as distressed as Eiseley had been by the psychedelic model of a hippie dachshund Eiseley pulled from her bag.

So, after much more discussion, the spectacle of a lost golf ball, a bit of nose-blowing, some ammo show and tell (of course), a few tears, a couple of rapid MOAB posts, and friendship all around, Eiseley traipsed back up around the bend. She left knowing two things:

1. You can't pull one over on Rapaire, and
2. Where a door closes, a window opens.

Oh, and she has a cool new toy for her desk!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 08:47 AM

I rarely dust the inside of the front door.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 08:58 AM

And what REALLY happened was that Eiseley snuck up to the door and left a basket there with a baby in it and note saying, "I found this kid, please give he, she, or it a home." I had seen her coming, but had not managed to raise the drawbridge in time and the portcullis stuck. So I opened the door and invited her in (without the baby in the basket; I don't know what she did with that).

I took her into the Great Hall, where she was awed by the massive ceiling, the historic battle flags, the serving wenches, the trumpeters, and the rest of the things that make up my small, but comfortable, home. Seating myself upon my usual chair, my wife by my side, our guest groveled and crawled to the dais as protocol demands.

In our generosity we gave her some refreshment: half a dog biscuit and some water left over from the melted snow, served in a bowl on the floor. A good guest, she didn't spill much as she licked it up.

A good visit, she left gifts and when she left she crawled backwards out the door, her face always towards us as protocol demands. I suppose it's a bit difficult to crawl backwards down the Grand Stairs, but she managed it without harming herself too much.

The Majordomo showed her out and the Captain of the Guards slammed shut the gate, catching only the hem of her skirt and two fingers in it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 22 Mar 10 - 09:06 AM

Poor, fingerless Captain of the Guards!
Here's another photo of the event. I believe Pat took this one:
Rapaire really isn't dressed correctly for the weather.


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