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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 17 Nov 10 - 04:17 PM
Rapparee 17 Nov 10 - 05:01 PM
Rapparee 17 Nov 10 - 08:13 PM
gnu 17 Nov 10 - 08:22 PM
GUEST,Albert Einstein 17 Nov 10 - 09:55 PM
Amos 17 Nov 10 - 10:34 PM
Amos 18 Nov 10 - 10:32 AM
GUEST,Mileva Marić Einstein 18 Nov 10 - 11:30 AM
GUEST,Albert Schweitzer 18 Nov 10 - 11:42 AM
Amos 18 Nov 10 - 12:11 PM
Little Hawk 18 Nov 10 - 12:37 PM
Amos 18 Nov 10 - 12:43 PM
Little Hawk 18 Nov 10 - 01:44 PM
gnu 18 Nov 10 - 01:55 PM
GUEST,Albert Einstein 18 Nov 10 - 02:58 PM
gnu 18 Nov 10 - 03:02 PM
Amos 18 Nov 10 - 03:35 PM
Little Hawk 18 Nov 10 - 03:45 PM
Amos 18 Nov 10 - 03:53 PM
Little Hawk 18 Nov 10 - 03:56 PM
Eiseley 18 Nov 10 - 04:38 PM
Little Hawk 18 Nov 10 - 05:26 PM
Acme 18 Nov 10 - 05:27 PM
Little Hawk 18 Nov 10 - 05:42 PM
Amos 18 Nov 10 - 05:56 PM
Acme 18 Nov 10 - 06:04 PM
Eiseley 18 Nov 10 - 06:31 PM
Little Hawk 18 Nov 10 - 06:38 PM
GUEST,Rapparee 18 Nov 10 - 08:32 PM
Amos 18 Nov 10 - 09:04 PM
Little Hawk 18 Nov 10 - 10:08 PM
Amos 18 Nov 10 - 10:15 PM
Eiseley 18 Nov 10 - 10:30 PM
GUEST,Rapparee 18 Nov 10 - 11:01 PM
Little Hawk 19 Nov 10 - 01:00 AM
Amos 19 Nov 10 - 10:09 AM
Acme 19 Nov 10 - 10:28 AM
Little Hawk 19 Nov 10 - 11:57 AM
GUEST,Rapparee 19 Nov 10 - 12:03 PM
Acme 19 Nov 10 - 12:09 PM
Little Hawk 19 Nov 10 - 12:12 PM
Amos 19 Nov 10 - 02:22 PM
Little Hawk 19 Nov 10 - 03:41 PM
gnu 19 Nov 10 - 04:14 PM
Eiseley 20 Nov 10 - 10:30 AM
Acme 20 Nov 10 - 12:14 PM
Little Hawk 20 Nov 10 - 01:04 PM
Eiseley 20 Nov 10 - 01:50 PM
Amos 20 Nov 10 - 02:56 PM
gnu 20 Nov 10 - 03:27 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 04:17 PM

Correction: Xn/T


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 05:01 PM

Dibs on the next irrational number!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 08:13 PM

Shucks, set it to 3. Or even pi.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 08:22 PM

Irrational? I thought that was the premise?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Albert Einstein
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 09:55 PM

All numbers in this thread are irrational, as are all who post here, including me. I was playing dice with God the other day. When I won, he gave me the privilege of posting here whenever I want as my prize. I may just show up again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Nov 10 - 10:34 PM

ALbert, no-one would be more welcome.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 10:32 AM

But...wait...you DIED!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Mileva Marić Einstein
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 11:30 AM

Albert, you dumkopf! I did all the work on that relativity thing while you watched mensur fights at the University with the faculty! You schmuck! You not only didn't give me the credit for the mathematics as you said you would, but you never ever put the toilet seat up and when you did you never put it down! There's good reasons why I divorced you, scheisskopf! You should have stayed in the patent office where you had a good job!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Albert Schweitzer
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 11:42 AM

I just finished building an organ for God. It has 12804.333333 pipes--exactly 1/3 the amount of entries in this large and ineffable thread. My reward, God says, is that I can make contact with the temporal plane via further entries herein. Perhaps I will dip down next week and give a report on the concert Bach is preparing for the organ's inauguration. He composed a new cantata for the occasion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 12:11 PM

Okay, that's it. Who's channeling these guys?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 12:37 PM

I don't know, but they do make for some interesting reading, don't they? Quite refreshing in the context of this demented little coffee klatch here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 12:43 PM

The accusations are confessions, M. Hack.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 01:44 PM

Amos, Amos, Amos....No zay are not, M'sieur...zay are ze confessions only in ze demented mind of yourself, mon ami. I 'ave not been ze pen be'ind any of zem. I suspect zat eet was ze Raparee...but I cannot say for ze certainty, no? Per'aps you should hire ze Inspector Clouseau to get to ze bottom of ziss dark mystery and unveil ze scoundrels be'ind eet!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 01:55 PM

Someone with a multiplex personality.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Albert Einstein
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 02:58 PM

There was a young woman from Wight
Who could travel much faster than light.
She walked out one day
In the relative way
And returned on the previous night.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 03:02 PM

Yo Al... good one!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 03:35 PM

Ach, HErr Hack ein tousandt aplogeese!! It isch clear der pwoblem heah isch der goot Rapparee, now havink loscht his handle to der ineluctable forsches uff typographical correctitude, he isch now becomink a massively parallel chanellink agent amongscht a hoscht of departed identitiesch! Das ist vewwy woorischum, vouldn't you agree? Ash a veteran off many hours auf counselink undt psychiatric guidanschI am schure you can appresciate how much he schtandz in needt of goodt help!

Liebenscheiss


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 03:45 PM

As usual, Herr Liebenscheiss, your incisive grasp of the situation says all that really needs to be said. Yes, Herr Raparee is clearly in need of expert counseling and assistance to free him from these delusions of multiplicity. Perhaps we should go for shock treatment? I could send Chongo around to work him over with a baseball bat...an approach that works magnificently for concentrating the mind of the client and giving him a much clearer view of the essential realities.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 03:53 PM

Ya, budt dot Raparee he hasch eine foam-bladed schword vit vich he vill lopp offf dot chimp's head. Are you prepared to dischpoze auf ein decapitated chimpanschee?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 03:56 PM

Chongo is ready and eager to face that sort of risk, providing he is paid accordingly. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 04:38 PM

What a busy couple of days! Last night Curious George came to the library and distributed about 110 bananas to the populace. After shooing him out, I took the bananas that were left and made them into a banana cream pie early this morning that I just served (but not in the face) to Rapaire's right-hand gal who retired today. Now I'm off to the TV program to talk about books. Amazingly enough, there are people in Pocatello who have absolutely nothing better to do than watch a show where librarians sit around and chat.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 05:26 PM

It could be a lot worse than that. In Blind River, people have nothing to do except sit around and drink, steal snowmobiles, and commit random acts of lust...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 05:27 PM

Finally fought my way back to the thread. Sorry, Amos, to not give proper credit on that link, the one before Albert and Albert popped up. LH must be having a quiet time at work these days. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 05:42 PM

It wasn't me, Stilly. I think it was probably Rapparree, but I don't know, so how can I say for sure?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 05:56 PM

See how you attract suspicion, Little Hawk? Why IS that???? First thing everyone says when something loopy or of-the-wall comes up is, "Oh, that must be Little Hawk!". What have you ever done to create the strange predisposition on the part of others to judge you so???


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 06:04 PM

Just blocked a sender of text messages to my phone. They offer to tell me more about a secret crush (if I pay $10 for the information). Give me a break. I'll just let MOM talk to them if anyone else sends the message.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 06:31 PM

Just download the whole thread to that text sender. That should tie up their system for a very long time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 06:38 PM

It's not a very big problem, Amos. People just have to ask me if I posted it, that's all. I did not post the stuff purportedly from Einstein, Einstein's wife or Albert Schweitzer. Not being a Mudcat moderator, I have no idea who did, but can only hazard a guess that it may have been Rapparee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapparee
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 08:32 PM

I am in Illinois, preparing to go to a night at deer camp tomorrow, where I'll do some flyfishing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 09:04 PM

Ah--denial by misdirection!! Good move!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 10:08 PM

Have you ever noticed how rye bread doesn't talk, but just sits there?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 10:15 PM

You were expecting it to make some wry remark or other, I guess. Try slipping it some dough first.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 10:30 PM

I'm still a bit disturbed by the double p in Rap's new name. Phonetics are all well and good, but it does take the elegance out of the presentation. Of course, as Abraham Lincoln said about his wife's family, "One d was enough for God's name, but not for the Todds."

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapparee
Date: 18 Nov 10 - 11:01 PM

Amos says it's because I'm full of pp.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 01:00 AM

When does the lid come off the anchovies? Has anyone seen the French Elbow? I thought he had signed up with the Boston Celtics, but I may have him confused with Len Doyle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 10:09 AM

The lid comes off the anchovies as soon as we find out what George is smoking.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 10:28 AM

Forget the French Elbow, where is the Grecian Bend?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 11:57 AM

Grecian Bend is on the lower Mississippi, isn't it? I heard they have a great restaurant there that serves frog legs and liver paste pie. You haven't lived till you've chowed down on frog legs and liver paste pie. That reminds me, it's time to wind the windowblind. Excuse me for a minute. Albert! Hold the olives!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapparee
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 12:03 PM

I'm off for a night at deer camp. Pray for me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 12:09 PM

Send us some venison sausage! I love to use it in my bean recipes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 12:12 PM

I fear that the deer will realize Rapparree isn't one of them and subject him to hazing or kick him out of camp entirely.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 02:22 PM

Deer Rapparee:

At Deer Camp, do you learn to be a Better Deer? Do you do workshops in graceful shedding, how to wear velvet, and self-esteem for low-point bucks? Do you learn woodcraft? Avoiding tree stands, how to look like a bush, recognizing the difference between biped birdwatchers and hunters? Do you watch Bambi re-runs? Do you have athletic contests in sapling-dodging, trunk-leaping, and broken-field running? Do you dream of being faster than a speeding bullet?

Anyway, I am sorry your parents couldn't keep you home where you can use all your video toys. But I hope you make many new friends among the deer you will meet there and come back a wiser, better deer.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 03:41 PM

Me too. They will probably teach him how to go about buck naked with no embarrassment whatsoever, and how to head butt most effectively at rutting time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Nov 10 - 04:14 PM

Fly fishing for deer? Sounds odd to me. Down/Up here we fish for fish.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 20 Nov 10 - 10:30 AM

Good morning, Mom, I'm sorry you have such a dreadful cold. Here, have some hot tea with honey and lemon and climb back into bed. No need for you to stir today. I'll put on some music and bring you a pile of books, just don't tear the pages out to use as tissues. You'll feel better soon.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Nov 10 - 12:14 PM

I brought in a fruit and yogurt smoothie, and she seems to have enjoyed that. Sweetened with local honey. Maybe she has allergies instead of a cold? I see a lot of people suffering the last gasp of the ragweed season down here in Tejas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Nov 10 - 01:04 PM

I have just spent 3 hours attempting to observe a grapefruit from the inside out! It's not easy. You have to enter a deep meditative state where you become "one with the grapefruit". I thought I was almost there, but then the phone rang and it broke my concentration. How annoying! After I had answered the phone and been informed that I have won a 300 foot yacht from some company I never heard of before, I came back to discover that the grapefruit had vanished!

What is the explanation for this strange event?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 20 Nov 10 - 01:50 PM

BS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Nov 10 - 02:56 PM

Only Mom knows for sure, but I will be more than happy to exchange your yacht for a new, beautiful grapefruit, white or pink as you prefer, and will hand deliver it to you anywhere you care to take delivery.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Nov 10 - 03:27 PM

Take the phone off the hook and imagine YOU are the grapefruit. Or the yacht. Or a grapefruit on a yacht.


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