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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 11 Aug 04 - 01:53 AM
Amos 11 Aug 04 - 08:50 PM
Little Hawk 11 Aug 04 - 08:53 PM
khandu 11 Aug 04 - 08:59 PM
Tweed 12 Aug 04 - 10:00 AM
Acme 12 Aug 04 - 05:29 PM
Rapparee 12 Aug 04 - 05:40 PM
Amos 12 Aug 04 - 08:44 PM
khandu 12 Aug 04 - 10:03 PM
Acme 13 Aug 04 - 12:22 PM
GUEST,MMario 13 Aug 04 - 12:26 PM
Amos 13 Aug 04 - 01:37 PM
Acme 13 Aug 04 - 01:39 PM
GUEST,The Supremacy Of Eddore 13 Aug 04 - 04:22 PM
GUEST,Meeting Rapaire 13 Aug 04 - 04:33 PM
GUEST,MMario 13 Aug 04 - 04:37 PM
Amos 13 Aug 04 - 04:39 PM
GUEST,MMario 13 Aug 04 - 04:41 PM
GUEST 13 Aug 04 - 04:44 PM
Rapparee 13 Aug 04 - 06:40 PM
beardedbruce 13 Aug 04 - 06:47 PM
Acme 14 Aug 04 - 01:45 PM
Amos 14 Aug 04 - 02:21 PM
Acme 15 Aug 04 - 11:53 AM
Acme 15 Aug 04 - 11:54 AM
Rapparee 15 Aug 04 - 12:32 PM
Amos 15 Aug 04 - 03:29 PM
Rapparee 15 Aug 04 - 06:34 PM
Amos 15 Aug 04 - 07:12 PM
Rapparee 15 Aug 04 - 10:34 PM
Amos 15 Aug 04 - 11:24 PM
GUEST,Crocky Dile 15 Aug 04 - 11:37 PM
Rapparee 16 Aug 04 - 09:57 AM
Rapparee 16 Aug 04 - 09:58 AM
Rapparee 16 Aug 04 - 10:03 AM
Acme 16 Aug 04 - 10:10 AM
Rapparee 16 Aug 04 - 10:24 PM
Rapparee 17 Aug 04 - 09:25 AM
GUEST,MMario 17 Aug 04 - 09:46 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Aug 04 - 10:14 AM
Amos 17 Aug 04 - 12:32 PM
GUEST,William Shatner 17 Aug 04 - 01:01 PM
GUEST,MMario 17 Aug 04 - 01:15 PM
Acme 17 Aug 04 - 01:21 PM
GUEST 17 Aug 04 - 01:24 PM
Rapparee 17 Aug 04 - 01:26 PM
Amos 17 Aug 04 - 04:42 PM
Rapparee 17 Aug 04 - 04:52 PM
Acme 17 Aug 04 - 05:58 PM
GUEST,William Shatner 17 Aug 04 - 06:12 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Aug 04 - 01:53 AM

But I still have first dibs on 5000!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 04 - 08:50 PM

(I found her down near thebottom, lying asleep. She'd been lying there since 1:30 in the morning and no-one had said anything. Nothing. I shook her gently. She murmured something from the depths of her abandonment. I had to lean over to hear what she said.


"
Pooooosssss.s.s.s.s.tttttt........................ Poooossss.sss.sss.ttttt."

I looked around anxious to help, not knowing what she could have meant. Sure enough, lying among the weeds not far from where she lay there WAS a post, weathered and kind of trivial looking, but surely a post, nonetheless.

I knew what I had to do....)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Aug 04 - 08:53 PM

Geez...for a moment I thought he was talking about that Maggie Thatcher inflatable doll.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 11 Aug 04 - 08:59 PM

4302 has been mine since the MOAB birth! 4302 has special meaning for me! 4+3+0+2 =9! I was 9 years old in 1961 which, added = 17,which added = 8!

I was 8 in 1960 which was the year of Kennedy's election, & Kennedy was Irish which I am not! But. . . 7 years after 1960 there was 1967 & the summer of Love which I missed, being a 14 year old kid who had not heard of Kerry or Bush yet & had yet to lose my virginity. Nor had I done acid which eventually led me to post the original MOAB message! So you can see the significance of 4302!

me


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 12 Aug 04 - 10:00 AM

My khing, I too wabz 9 in 1961. This explans a lotta things, and can only mean thet

KHANDU AND TWEED are actually one and the same persons!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Aug 04 - 05:29 PM

I'm glad you've cleared up something else for me. I was 5 in 1959 so I couldn't possibly be the same as Khandu or Tweed. That's a load off of my mind!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 04 - 05:40 PM

I am at a conference in Wenatchee, Washington. It is hot outside, there are wildfires a scant 20 miles away. So I haven't posted for a little while, 'cause I had to get here to do it.

1. I think we should have bumper stickers made. We can sell them to other 'Catters and suchlike depraved people and other (i.e., non-Catters, or the Great Unwashed) will think that we actually made such a trek. Or tee shirts. Tee shirts could add "Stage Crew" or something.

2. I was never nine years old. I went from 8 to 10 without stopping. This caused severe psychological damage, as well as messing up my school records. It still continues to haunt me.

3. I can't rememeber what this pint wasgoing to be.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 04 - 08:44 PM

If Ashcroft has his way, Rapaire, you may look forward to the day when the Feds come knocking at your door.

"Mister Rapaire? We're from the No Child Left Behind branch, IDaho and Dakota Section, of the Homeland Security Department. Our records show you did not attend school between the ages of 8 and 10. Under the law we require you, as a Child Left Behind, to come with us and spend the necessary year attending the level you missed, as soon as we can identify which grade it was you missed. You have 24 hours to get your affairs in order. We have notified the sheriff's office of this action and declared you a possible flight risk as a Child with Un-Normal Patterns."

Welcome to the Brave New World. You know what they will be teaching you? New Match.

Enjoy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 12 Aug 04 - 10:03 PM

"KHANDU AND TWEED are actually one and the same persons!!"

Thank you for habing the guts to say that Tweed!! I hab thogt it ever since thet crazy mix-up wif the underware back last yar & now you hab comfarmed it!

It does sumpin warm & fuzzy to my innerds, I feel...I feel... I FEEL PRETTY!!!!!!

Kk, the Pretty King ob Mizippi & Mayor of Tweedsburg,Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Aug 04 - 12:22 PM

Rapaire, had you perhaps consumed a beer or three before typing that post in Wenachee?

Right now I think it is cooler in Texas than it is in Eastern Washington. Amazing.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 13 Aug 04 - 12:26 PM

*sigh*

I wish some people would spend a tenth - hell - a hundredth - of the amount of time posting the type imformation they claim to want to see on the mudcat as they do complaining about the "trash" others post.

okay - I got that out of my system while still putting it someplace most people won't see it...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 04 - 01:37 PM

Concerning the Horrible Storms Bearing Down on FLorida:

Charley and Tropical Storm Bonnie, which moved ashore Thursday in Florida's Panhandle with lighter winds and less rain than expected, also bring the potential of heavy rains this weekend from Georgia to New England as they move up the Atlantic seaboard.

Emergency management officials asked about 1 million people, mostly in Hillsborough and Pinellas counties, to leave flood-prone areas as Charley closed in. Tampa, St. Petersburg and Clearwater are the major population centers in the region.

All residents of MacDill Air Force Base, on a peninsula in Tampa Bay, were ordered out, with only essential personnel remaining. MacDill is home to U.S. Central Command, the nerve center of the war in Iraq


Ya gotta wonder whether the guys praying to Allah are onto something, or what! :>) Sa'ala'am Alleikum!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Aug 04 - 01:39 PM

oops, typo: Wenatchee.

Interesting call on that storm, Amos!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Supremacy Of Eddore
Date: 13 Aug 04 - 04:22 PM

We find you worms have continued to frustrate us in out quest. Haldive, even thionite, haven't corrupted you to our need. Therefore, we must use the ultimate weapon to destroy your civilization. It is encompassed in a mere three of your words. You are powerless, even with the help of your Arisian friends, to stop us now that The Plan is accomplished. And here are the three words that will strike terror into your hearts and, now that the time has been fulfilled, explain to you the doom that approaches:

Four More Years!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Meeting Rapaire
Date: 13 Aug 04 - 04:33 PM

Wenatchee is much warmer than Pocatello has been, and the air is smoky from the fires.

Thionite? Won't the Lensmen want to know?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 13 Aug 04 - 04:37 PM

hahahahahahahaha!



considering that a quintet of CHILDREN can whup your ass - if you had a gender I'd say you had brass cojones threatening us - (but you don't - so I won't.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 04 - 04:39 PM

I have been a Gray Lensman (Hon., Ret.) for a number of lifetimes, and I am glad to inform you that the Eddorian post is fraudulent.

Grimace Haldebear
Gray Lensman


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 13 Aug 04 - 04:41 PM

besides - with Gharlane dead (and it is dead) you haven't a chance even WITHOUT the Children of the Lens.

you might as well be the Galactic Overlord - you are so laughable.

Bubba-bubba is more firghtening. (especialy when s/he/it has the labrador with her/him/it)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Aug 04 - 04:44 PM

firghtening?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Aug 04 - 06:40 PM

It's a Valerian word meaning "scary."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 13 Aug 04 - 06:47 PM

Blastoff!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Aug 04 - 01:45 PM

Are we there yet?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Aug 04 - 02:21 PM

I have learned always to answer that question with "Yes". It seems to stop 'em dead in their tracks.

4324...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Aug 04 - 11:53 AM

Are we going for tiny increments now? Okay, whatever it takes to boost this Mother back up to the top. The cat's been a little slow today, blinking in and out. 4325


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Aug 04 - 11:54 AM

Oops. NOW it's 4325.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 04 - 12:32 PM

4326. The atomic weight of thionite, I think.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 04 - 03:29 PM

What it really take to break these surly bonds and achieve the kind of speeds necessary for trans-galactice relocation?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 04 - 06:34 PM

Perhaps an extension of string theory. Rope Theory -- intergalactic ropes of "stuff" that we could use to pull ourselves along from place to place. Ropes of gravitons, maybe, all strung out along interstellar and intergalactic paths between stars and galaxies, the ropes caused by the distortions that mass produces (see "rubber sheet" examples of the Relativity Theory) and similar to what happens to the bedsheets when you toss and turn all night (as mass does -- planets and suns rotating, etc.).

Or just punch through the fabric of those "wrinkled sheets" to get to where you want to go.

You can get to Pluto in about a week if you continuosly boost at 1G for half the distance -- you can figger it out, it's like that old "how long will it take to go x miles if you're going y mph?" problem, only a little more complex. As for the power source for such a boost, well, 'tain't no reason not to shoot off a-bombs behind our ship and ride the shock wave -- nuclear explosions aren't anything new in space. Or better yet, let's get crackin' on controlled fusion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 04 - 07:12 PM

MOAB men and women all, this Rapaire is wondrous kind, a scholar and a gentlemen!! Here I went in my typically sloppy fashion and posted full of typos one of the most obscure and tantalizing questions ever to torment a human being, one which has haunted the race of men since the earliest days of civilization in all its several cradles...and what does this Rapaire do? I will tell you, brethren under the Sign of the MOAB -- he ANSWERS it!!!!!!

This guy is too much, I tell you. Wherever you in his travels should him meet, do you, I charge you, serve him one dark stout for me, in recognition of his deep-bred excellence!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Aug 04 - 10:34 PM

Why, shucks and durn, I'm jist a-doin' what I was trained ta do: answer questions that folks might ask, provide the information they might seek, and never, ever to say "Gee, that's the stupidest thing I've heard all week -- your brains on vacation or what?!" (For a glimpse at the actual life of librarian, visit here for an intimate look.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Aug 04 - 11:24 PM

If you want to know the kind of stuff Rapaire has to do all day for real, here is an examp[e.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Crocky Dile
Date: 15 Aug 04 - 11:37 PM

In a weak moment I had sex with an alligator yesterday. I am so ashamed! I never thought I was capable of that sort of cross-species miscegenation, but it just happened in the heat of the moment. It may have been a reaction to Hurricane Charley. At the time it seemed so perfect, but in retrospect I am tortured with regret. How can I face my family and friends? What should I do? Will this blot on my soul haunt me for all my remaining days? The storm winds outside are lessening now, but the storm inside my fevered conscience rages on!

C.Dile, Devils Garden, Florida


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Aug 04 - 09:57 AM

Yves Klein once said that "we can only conquer Space by impregnating it." Immediately thereafter he dove out a window.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Aug 04 - 09:58 AM

Crocky, I do hope that you didn't feel that oral sex wasn't a sexual act. 'Cause if you did and if you did, you won't anymore.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Aug 04 - 10:03 AM

Hey, I snagged a palindromic number! Good for me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Aug 04 - 10:10 AM

Rapaire and Amos, it isn't "rope" theory you should investigate, but "Knot Theory and it's Ramifications." (Don't ask me how I came across this site--it was a serendipitious discovery and looked so interesting I make a bookmark).

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Aug 04 - 10:24 PM

Mother shall not fall tonight!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Aug 04 - 09:25 AM

There wasn't any bottom. Fionula was there, of course, waiting. She was always waiting. Waiting was her life. She had been a waitress, once, but was now a waiter. She'd been a waitress for Weight Watchers, watching those who watched their weight while she waited tables. But that was all in the past. Her brother, Wattie, had also once waited but he was impatient and no longer did so. Wattie was a disappointment to the family, being a hermaphrodidic eunuch, but he was still her brother and sister and she was proud of his work as a harem guard to the Sultan of Oswish. Fionula often wished that she'd someday see Wattie again, but she knew that unless she went to work in Oswish that wasn't very likely. She remembered how when they were children they'd often talk about Life and Love and Music and Ask Great Questions About Things, none of which meant a thing or were ever answered. That was why she'd become a atheistic animist. It wasn't much of a religion, believed in the god or goddess that didn't exist in everything around you, but it was her own. All her own in fact, and sometimes at services she'd get lonely, preaching the sermon and then running out to to sit in the pews so that when the words arrived there'd be a congregation to listen. Wearing, it was. She was also the Sexton, the Vicar, the Choir and the Music Director, the bell-ringer, the janitor, and the archbishop. Yes indeed, it was wearing, and she was not only tired of the silly cassocks and albs and chasubles that she had to wear, the berreta was wearing a hole in her silk teddie where the hammer snagged the fabric. She often wondered if her sister, the nun, had the same problem. Probably not, since the Sisters of Divine Retribution wore tight leather habits and carried a quart of quirts. The quirts weren't painful, being devoid of quarks, but they were intimidating. Her sister, Sister Merry Bottom, sister with the laughing blue ears and the giggling lips, sister with the long fuscia hair. It was real fuscia, too, due to a childish prank she'd played on her when she was a baby.

But there was still no bottom, and so Fionula waited.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 17 Aug 04 - 09:46 AM

sigh...I miss 1585


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Aug 04 - 10:14 AM

Hi folk. I have returned from the 50º coolness of the Indiana/Michigan border to the 95º swampiness of Floribama.

Yes, Rap, the show (all 4 days of it) was at Amish Acres. It was fun and profitable. Did not see any Klingons or Vogons this trip. Just a few Amish.

I'm all up for the Mighty Mudcat Tour thingie. Only problem is it would be dificult to produce that much pottery in advance so I'd have to work on the road. If someone has access to a truck large enough to carry my entire studio and equipped with a generator capable of firing two 50 Amp 240 Volt kilns....

I am not surprised to learn that khandu and Tweed are, in fact, the same person. That explains a lot of things. I'm not sure exactly what things it explains, but there are a lot of them.

However it does not explain why the person who takes one's order in a restaurant is called the "waiter" when, in fact, it's the customer who does the waiting. The "waiter" is usually busier than a cat coverin' up shit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Aug 04 - 12:32 PM

Y aknow you guys are gems for bringing up profound but overlooked myszztries of life like that there waiter thing. We say we're waitin' on someone when we're waiting for them, and the people who are really waiting on others don't wait at all once you've made up yore damned mind to have the same thing you had the last 321 times you came into this diner....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 17 Aug 04 - 01:01 PM

I've been busy, but thought I would drop in for a second or two. Have you missed me?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 17 Aug 04 - 01:15 PM

NO!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Aug 04 - 01:21 PM

Beam him up, Scottie!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Aug 04 - 01:24 PM

Then phaser him on 'STUN'


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Aug 04 - 01:26 PM

Stun? You can't stun the stunned.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Aug 04 - 04:42 PM

The quintessential paradigmatic embodiment of archetypal STUNODITY!!

AROINT!!!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Aug 04 - 04:52 PM

He's...not...the AROINTED One, is he????


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Aug 04 - 05:58 PM

No, that was a typo. He's the MARINATED one. Turn him over, he's done on that side.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 17 Aug 04 - 06:12 PM

Well, you know what they say in entertainment...as long as you can still stir a strong reaction from the public, then you've still got what it takes. I'm going to go out and barbecue some steaks and think about how much you are all going to miss me until the next time I decide to drop in. Chin up, folks! I'll be thinking of you all as the steaks sizzle over the hot coals.


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