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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 07 May 13 - 10:39 PM
Rapparee 07 May 13 - 11:28 PM
Amos 08 May 13 - 12:17 AM
gnu 08 May 13 - 05:29 AM
Rapparee 08 May 13 - 09:16 AM
Acme 08 May 13 - 03:20 PM
gnu 08 May 13 - 03:36 PM
Rapparee 08 May 13 - 09:36 PM
Amos 09 May 13 - 12:55 AM
gnu 09 May 13 - 06:01 AM
Rapparee 09 May 13 - 09:02 AM
Acme 09 May 13 - 10:04 AM
Amos 09 May 13 - 11:29 AM
Rapparee 09 May 13 - 02:32 PM
gnu 09 May 13 - 02:36 PM
Rapparee 09 May 13 - 11:18 PM
Acme 10 May 13 - 01:20 AM
gnu 10 May 13 - 05:13 AM
Rapparee 10 May 13 - 08:48 PM
Amos 10 May 13 - 11:46 PM
Rapparee 11 May 13 - 09:26 AM
Amos 11 May 13 - 12:18 PM
gnu 11 May 13 - 03:44 PM
Rapparee 11 May 13 - 07:31 PM
gnu 11 May 13 - 08:14 PM
Rapparee 11 May 13 - 11:58 PM
Acme 12 May 13 - 12:40 AM
Amos 12 May 13 - 01:52 AM
gnu 12 May 13 - 05:38 AM
Rapparee 12 May 13 - 11:42 AM
Rapparee 12 May 13 - 11:44 AM
Acme 12 May 13 - 11:53 AM
gnu 12 May 13 - 03:33 PM
Rapparee 12 May 13 - 04:22 PM
Amos 12 May 13 - 07:53 PM
gnu 12 May 13 - 08:12 PM
Rapparee 12 May 13 - 09:25 PM
Amos 13 May 13 - 09:47 AM
gnu 13 May 13 - 11:10 AM
Acme 13 May 13 - 11:39 AM
Rapparee 13 May 13 - 01:36 PM
gnu 13 May 13 - 02:16 PM
Amos 13 May 13 - 03:01 PM
gnu 13 May 13 - 03:28 PM
GUEST,Guest from Sanity 13 May 13 - 11:39 PM
Rapparee 14 May 13 - 10:06 AM
Amos 14 May 13 - 12:13 PM
Rapparee 14 May 13 - 12:29 PM
gnu 14 May 13 - 03:46 PM
Rapparee 14 May 13 - 11:12 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 May 13 - 10:39 PM

I can offer wildlife along the lines of hawks, coyotes, foxes, and tarantulas (in my yard) if anyone visits down here. Not much charismatic megafauna around this part of North Texas, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 13 - 11:28 PM

Shucks, M'am, we got us more coyotes than folks in these parts. Not ta mention skunks, bald iggles, golden iggles, goshawks, foxes, antelope, whitetail deer, mule deer, jackrabbits, horses, Herefords, Angus, elk and sich like critters ta choke a mule. Now as fer as hosses go, we got 'em all: Arabians, quarter, roans, duns, grau, appaloosa, pintos, thoroughbreds, mustangs, jist about anything you could want. Even some Clydesdales and Percherons. Llamas, too. Lotsa sheep, even got us a Sheep Experimental Station up north a piece, but I don't want ta think what they do up there. Heck, a coupla years back I had danged WOLF in my backyard! Fish and Game said so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 May 13 - 12:17 AM

Up in the hill country around Truchas they use old sticks to make long fences, or palings, along their lot lines. Call 'em "coyote fences" All sun-grayed and weather-beaten, they look very quaint indeed..


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 May 13 - 05:29 AM

Sheep Experimental Station? What do the sheep experiment on/with?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 13 - 09:16 AM

I think that certain men experiment with the sheep. There are a lot of Scots up that way, and a lot of Republicans. You can draw your own conclusions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 May 13 - 03:20 PM

Rap, I wasn't naming the animals in the STATE, heck Texas has lots of charismatic megafauna in the state. I was mentioning my back yard. Like your wolf. I have coyotes, possums, skunks, snakes, hawks, vultures, turkeys (!), and in the creek a variety of fish hardy enough to endure urban conditions, along with a whole mess of turlers. (What my youngest brother used to call Turtles. Haven't thought of that in years.) And tarantulas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 May 13 - 03:36 PM

Tarantulas... yo, Rap... what size shot do you use fer such as that? I suppose #6 is okay but SSG would make sure, eh? Fer spiders here, I use a thumb or index finger dependin on size. The only truly poisonous local spiders are at City Hall.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 13 - 09:36 PM

We generally use 4-ought buckshot, but we're in high desert and it gets colder here in the winter than it does down Texas way. THERE they dasn't use anything less than 00 buck.

Some folks DID run into a tarantula up here in a cave over at Craters of the Moon a couple years back and they had to get a quad-50 from the National Guard to get rid of it. Would have roped it and necked it to a fence, but it didn't have no neck and besides, it scared the sheep (see posting below).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 May 13 - 12:55 AM

NEver met a sheep yet that would hold with no tarantulas. They just don't see eye to eye, if you see what I mean.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 May 13 - 06:01 AM

Ya'd think they would, both bein wooly buggers n all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 13 - 09:02 AM

FOUR sheep might see eye to eye with a tarantula.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 May 13 - 10:04 AM

Counting the days down till the weekend. Yeah, it has been that kind of week. MOM, lets run away to some lovely warm empty beach. One with palm trees and hammocks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 May 13 - 11:29 AM

I got yer beach right here, ma'am. Put in for a transfer to UCSD!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 13 - 02:32 PM

Anything to try to recruit someone to the SoCal Republicans, eh Amos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 May 13 - 02:36 PM

4 sheep.... hahahahahahahahaa!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 13 - 11:18 PM

There were two spiders who could see eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye on almost everything. Then, one day, one of them found that eyeglasses were needed and on the playground was teased as "Sixteen Eyes." The friend, in sympathy, started wearing false eyeglasses and then they could again see eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye to eye again. And they lived happily ever after.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 May 13 - 01:20 AM

A search on "tarantula sheep" yields nothing, but I did find this little number for your enjoyment. I think I may have seen this flic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 May 13 - 05:13 AM

Tarantula Sheep.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 13 - 08:48 PM

Well, pardners, I'm a-headin' out tomorrer fer a showdown. Yep, I'll be walkin' along with mah equalizers on, 'ceptin' that one of 'em's busted and I gotta use a backup instead. Yep, gonna go out and bag me that yeller-bellied, white-livered, good-fer-nothin', dry gulchin', grayback covered, spitoon-divin' gang that's been pesterin' the girls up a Red Nelly's place and drinkin' up the Legion Hovel without payin'. Ah'll be packin' my six-shooters, don't you worry none about that, an' mah Winchester clone an' mah shotgun, too. Yessir, only I ain't gonna be wearin' no lavender shirt -- I got me a blue one! An' new brown pants ta wear with mah old braces an' mah vest. Gotta look good when ya gotta do what a man's gotta do.

Bran' new town ta do it in, too. Ain't got no bullet holes in it yet er nothin'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 May 13 - 11:46 PM

Dang, Red Ryder, I shore would like to see you shoot up a whole new TOWN, yessirree bob, I would!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 May 13 - 09:26 AM

Well, actually it's just a fake movie-set sort of place with sort of the fronts of buildings and the targets are set out in the brush, along the sides of the shooting bay, and out on "Main Street." Facades, you might say. Kinda like most of SoCal...where folks who have a mind to can shoot "cowboy" targets safely.

"Come on, Blacky. Draw, ya rabid skunk! What, you'd just a piece of angled steel? Naw, you ain't that tough. Awright then, I'll draw first, even if it ain't in The Code Of The West fer the good guy ta shoot first."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 May 13 - 12:18 PM

I can't draw very well, except for cartoons, but I can out-poem any varmint in the West. You betchum. And I'll parody the first man says I cain't in cold blood.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 May 13 - 03:44 PM

Dang! I thought I posted this fer A around 6AM. Not enough tea, apparently.

Rapbo?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 May 13 - 07:31 PM

Well, it wasn't quite like that. First shoot of the year, one of my primary revolvers broken so I had to use a backup (Thank you, Eiseley, for not taking it when I offered it to you!), first shooting at the new Cowboy Action Shooting Range, a Memorial Shoot honoring some who are no longer corporeally with us.

See, ALL weapons are certified "clear" and the long guns (rifle and shotgun) are put in a rack with the actions open. Revolvers (and in one case a pistol) are carried (certified "clear) in holsters. When it's two people before your turn to shoot you take the long guns to the loading table, place your revolvers on the table, and THEN bring your ammunition to the table. You load there, and ONLY there, and with your weapons loaded and pointed either down at the ground in your holsters or downrange, await your turn.

When your turn to shoot comes, you move your long arms to the appropriate racks and you move to the initial firing position. When you are ready to shoot the targets in a particular order, using the weapons in a previously specified order (e.g., rifle targets left to right, handgun targets right to left and left to right, four shotgun targets in the order 1,3,2,4). After firing all of the ammunition in each weapon you re-holster it or put it, action open, back in a rack.

When you have finished your "run" you take ALL of your weapons, muzzle in a safe direction, to the "unloading table" where they are again checked and cleared. If you had a malfunction during your run and could not fix it, you had stated that and handed the weapon to the scorekeeper who took it to the unloading table.

This is all done against a timer and scored for time AND accuracy. You can lose time by shooting targets out of sequence (for example) and a safety violation can cost you the entire match. For example, when carrying loaded weapons you can point them to the front (downrange) but if you turn with them so that the muzzle is pointed more that 170 degrees away from your front, even if holstered, you commit a safety violation.

So far I've been first in my category every time I've shot...and I've never had a miss with rifle or shotgun ("Shotgun? Well, duh!" I hear gnu saying).

I'm sorry, but nothing blew up or burned and nobody was knifed or shot or hanged or anything. Just a bunch of people who had a good time outside, engaging in a hobby safer than kayaking.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 May 13 - 08:14 PM

"("Shotgun? Well, duh!" I hear gnu saying)."

OH contRAPAIRE! Those of lesser ability can false easily. I, for one, when a young man, sure of eyesight and steady of aim, could hole-in-hole with a bead sight at one hundred metres with a rifled slug. With a good quality shot shell, before you Yanks bought the Canuck company that made good shotgun ammo and turned it into the shit that we have now, I could knock a birch runnin on lay downs thru one by ones at pace and never touch the breast and it never suffered. I rue the day well made shells were gotten goned fer profits... so would the partridge if they knew the difference.

"("Shotgun? Well, duh!" I hear gnu saying)."

Dear Rap. Shotgun is the only true gun fer practical use other than self defense (offense not being an issue herein). And such use is an art in the arms of those who know how to use one properly. Got a good story about my Bro's custom Browning fer yer skeet but maybe another time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 May 13 - 11:58 PM

I've got a box of 50 C.I.L. .22 long rifle, if you'd like them and can figure out a way to get them to you.

And please don't blame ME for buying an ammunition company. I only shoot Eley and Tenex match ammo*. Of course, I'm always broke because that stuff is now about USD 27.00 per box of 50 for .22 LR.

When I was young and keen of eye I could put rifled slug after rifled slug through the same knothole in a plank 350 meters away and never even have the shock wave from the slug touch the wood, much the lead from the slug. Of course, it was a damned big knothole....





*Yeah. Sure. I wish.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 May 13 - 12:40 AM

All of this talk of guns. I have a sling shot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 May 13 - 01:52 AM

God bless the macho man
Whose soul has been burned by testosterone
Whose eyes have been closed by acid marketing
Whose hand has been twisted to the grip.
Lead him not into temptation,
Give him no reason to harm,
And teach him to communicate
With no thought of force.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 May 13 - 05:38 AM

$27/50 22lr? OMG!

350yd! That there is some fine shootin!

Slingshot? I got three models, each of which can use wire solder approx 3/4" long bent in a vee for ammo. One is a broomstick with a bevelled end into which a finishing nail is placed so that one a them there long elastics can be held and then taped at right angles to the bevel. The trigger is a stiffly sprung clothes pin with it's jaws whittled and sanded so that the solder is held fast but releases so as not disrpupt it's release. It is taped to the stick. Extremely accurate up to 60 feet and will put a good dent in a heavy aluminum storm door panel and get yer arsed kicked twice by yer old man.

The other model is fer yer concealed carry. It is made from a wire coat hanger. It's bent in a broad vee, the length of which suits the palm. Each side is bent out about 2" and then up about 2" and then into a tight inward circle. A cut elastic is then tied to each circle. Accuracy is nearly as good as the long gun version unless ya don't tie the lastic right and it lets go and smacks ya in tha eye at full draw. This drastically reduces accuracy.

Lastly, tha double-ott-7 super secret agent model. Thumb and middle fingers are used. A piece of yer scotched tape is wound around the end of each, sticky side out, twice. Then twice, sticky side in. The ends of a cut elastic are taped to each and wound with as much tape as is required to secure the elastic. Not only can this be placed in one's pockets but it can also be easily concealed by a fisted hand while loaded with a wadded up piece of foil from the old style potatoe chip bags just in case violence suddenly breaks out if the teacher has to step out in the hall. The accuracy is greatly reduced with this type of ammo but is usually sufficient to the length of a classroom. And, as Rap indicates, the shot made is only as good as the ammo quality. Indeed, if one doesn't properly wad this type of ammo, the distance of accuracy can be reduced to the palm of yer hand and it hurts like hell. Only the finest of craftsmanship should ever be used with solder ammo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 13 - 11:42 AM

When we first moved to Idaho my wife gave me a 9mm potato gun to carry for protection. Small, compact, and it's possible to find a potato to jam the muzzle in to load it 'most anywhere around here. I also have a Nerf gun the library staff gave me -- a six-shootin' repeater, too!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 13 - 11:44 AM

Oh, yes. Naturally I keep these locked up and their ammunition is separate, locked, container. And that reminds me, I'd better check on it -- I think the potato has gone bad again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 May 13 - 11:53 AM

:) My target practice is at a spot on the fence. Rocks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 May 13 - 03:33 PM

Rocks? I am agahst! Is your throwing arm registered with the authorities? Have you taken the proper courses approved by the NTA? Do you have a possession and aquisition licence for said arm and rocks? Do you lock up your arm and the rocks separately? These are serious issues. I have never been to Texas and I just might shun doing so until I am SURE it's safe.

Can you throw sticks if you have a Lab if they are both licenced and such activity is done on an approved fetching range?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 13 - 04:22 PM

Not only all that, gnu, but in Texas you're only allowed to have concealed arms if you have a permit from the local sheriff AND police dept. AND the Texas Rangers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 May 13 - 07:53 PM

I know that ain't so. Why one time I went down to Texas to visit Aine, and she and her husband were both wearing long sleeves, completely concealing their arms. No-one bothered them about it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 May 13 - 08:12 PM

See, A? THAT'S the problem with you Yanks. LawLESSness. Ye don't got no laws ta protect yer citizens. Up here, we just can't walk around barin arms. Mostly on accounta frostbite and sunburn except fer one week in spring and one week in fall and that there varies. And OUR laws strictly prohibit such ALL year long just in case. Safety first eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 May 13 - 09:25 PM

It's different inside your own home, Amos. THERE you can do anything you want in Texas, as long as it's not agin the law...or custom...or usage...or what passes down there for morals...or The Code Of Texas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 May 13 - 09:47 AM

Sounds like you're going out on a limb to defend bare arms, there, Rapp.

Guess what, Mom!! I get to pick up my lovely all-fixed D-35 Martin today. What a joy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 May 13 - 11:10 AM

Just don't pull a Who again next gig eh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 May 13 - 11:39 AM

I fear we are in grave danger - our standing as the MOAB is severely threatened by that Brozman thread. There is more BS flying fast and furious there than any other thread in recent memory.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 May 13 - 01:36 PM

Well, I'm flying away tomorrow and I won't be able to donate much because I'm in a bit of a rush. Probably won't be able to do much until the 16th, in fact. I think that's Thursday. But I also have to go see my cousin that day.

My cousin is the one who, with his friend Jeff, was out deer hunting some years back -- bow hunting, in fact. They'd been up in trees since around 4 a.m. and here it was getting on to 10 so they decided to come down and have some coffee. They got to the truck, put the bows and arrows aside, sat on the tailgate and had some coffee and a sandwich. Pretty soon my cousin says that he has to exercise peristalsis, so he wanders off with a roll of toilet paper, finds a nice log the right height, pulls down his trousers (they don't wear pants back there), and just as he begins a LARGE buck deer steps out of the woods.

Now my cousin is anointed with a product call "Doe In Heat" and this buck deer is obviously interested. Cousin drops the TP and starts to run back to the truck, pulling up his clothing on the way and yelling, "Jeff! Jeff! Shoot it! Shoot it!" Meanwhile Jeff is looking around for his ass, which fell off while he was laughing.

They both spent a couple hours clinging to tree branches while the frustrated buck stomped around below. The buck stomped their bows and even got into the truck and pretty much trashed it. Then it marked the truck as its personal territory and left in pursuit of a more amiable doe in heat.

My cousin doesn't like that story to be told, but Jeff will vouch for it as will everyone in my family and we all tell the absolute and exact truth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 May 13 - 02:16 PM

Even a small buck can be dealy. Minds me a tha guy what shot a buck an was draggin it ta his weehicle an got a tine stuck in his leg just behind his knee. Dead man walkin. Musta been a hard way ta go even tho there's far worse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 May 13 - 03:01 PM

I'll say those small bucks can be dealy. Young, full of testosterone, think they know everything. Ran across one in a used car lot oe time, dealiest sumbitch you ever saw. Anyone walked in, he just knew he could cut a deal with him, and ended blowing customers away faster than they showed up, being so much dealier than he had any business being, if you know what I mean...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 May 13 - 03:28 PM

HEY! I don't take yer yptos ta town and run a monkey wit em eh A!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 13 May 13 - 11:39 PM

Try this for amazing news...

(No politics)...but watch it to the end!...

GfS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 13 - 10:06 AM

Saw that one.

So long, Mom! I'm turning off the computer now. Perhaps I'll pass this way again -- like tonight.

Oh, yeah, Mom -- the keys to Amos' and gnu's cages are in the usual place.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 May 13 - 12:13 PM

Hahaha. I switched the keys to his Ferrari with the keys to Gnu's cage so they couldn't lock him in. Just wait til he tries to drive to the airport. Mwahahaha.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 13 - 12:29 PM

Sorry, old bean, but we're taking my wife's car. Fool with THAT and face HER wrath. I'll stand by and watch.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 May 13 - 03:46 PM

My sex life is like a Ferrari.

I drive a Ford.

The warranty is up.

Sensor failure lights are flassing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 13 - 11:12 PM

So, gnu bagged it. I wondered who would call down upon themself The Curse Of MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMCM. May your last days be as pain-free as is allowed, and may your skin not fall off all at once.


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