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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 27 May 03 - 09:09 PM
khandu 27 May 03 - 10:08 PM
Little Hawk 28 May 03 - 12:37 PM
Little Hawk 28 May 03 - 10:14 PM
Rapparee 28 May 03 - 10:50 PM
khandu 28 May 03 - 11:34 PM
Rapparee 29 May 03 - 09:00 AM
Little Hawk 29 May 03 - 11:50 AM
Rapparee 29 May 03 - 09:13 PM
khandu 29 May 03 - 09:17 PM
khandu 29 May 03 - 10:29 PM
Rustic Rebel 29 May 03 - 10:54 PM
Little Hawk 29 May 03 - 11:08 PM
khandu 30 May 03 - 08:59 PM
MMario 30 May 03 - 09:18 PM
Little Hawk 30 May 03 - 11:53 PM
Little Hawk 31 May 03 - 12:06 AM
Rapparee 31 May 03 - 09:48 AM
JennyO 31 May 03 - 12:33 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 May 03 - 01:42 PM
CarolC 31 May 03 - 04:03 PM
khandu 31 May 03 - 06:40 PM
gnu 05 Jun 03 - 04:44 AM
Rapparee 05 Jun 03 - 08:56 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Jun 03 - 02:25 PM
Little Hawk 05 Jun 03 - 04:09 PM
Tweed 05 Jun 03 - 07:47 PM
Rapparee 06 Jun 03 - 09:08 AM
GUEST,Gobsmacked 06 Jun 03 - 02:58 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Jun 03 - 08:36 PM
khandu 06 Jun 03 - 08:54 PM
Rapparee 07 Jun 03 - 09:13 AM
GUEST,freds 07 Jun 03 - 06:12 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Jun 03 - 07:22 PM
GUEST,freds 07 Jun 03 - 07:38 PM
khandu 07 Jun 03 - 07:38 PM
Tweed 07 Jun 03 - 10:29 PM
khandu 08 Jun 03 - 12:46 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Jun 03 - 01:10 AM
CarolC 08 Jun 03 - 10:43 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Jun 03 - 11:17 AM
khandu 08 Jun 03 - 11:25 AM
Rapparee 08 Jun 03 - 11:47 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Jun 03 - 02:01 PM
Tweed 08 Jun 03 - 02:16 PM
khandu 08 Jun 03 - 02:28 PM
khandu 08 Jun 03 - 02:30 PM
khandu 08 Jun 03 - 02:37 PM
Tweed 08 Jun 03 - 02:41 PM
CarolC 08 Jun 03 - 02:41 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 03 - 09:09 PM

Little Hawk, this one's for you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 27 May 03 - 10:08 PM

Everybody needs a good wiring harness...even the Kingly type!

bee-dubja, I understand and agree with your T-Rex analogy of Royals. We, here in Mississippi, are loathe to break tradition, so we don't!

It boils down to this...Royals want their spawn to be of Royal blood. What better way to insure that than begetting with members of the Royal Fambly?

Anyone for "Spin the Bottle"?

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 May 03 - 12:37 PM

SHATNER ALERT!!!!! He's been spotted at the Kerrville Folk Festival, and CarolC got a picture!

YOWSA!!! WAY COOL!!! SHATNER ROCKS!!!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 May 03 - 10:14 PM

Beam me to Kerrville, Mr. Scott!

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 03 - 10:50 PM

A Google search of the terms "Shatner" and "Bohemian" brought several pages of results. This provides OVERWHELMING evidence that William Shatner -- THE William Shatner! -- is a member of the Bohemian Club and hence sacrifices to Moloch and is a crony of Cheney, a pal to Powell, and a buddy to Bush! And if additional evidence is needed, isn't Kerrville in California? Quod erat demonstratum!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 28 May 03 - 11:34 PM

Actually, if you had done your research properly, you would have discovered that Moloch sacrifices to Shatner, Cheney is a crony of Shatner, Powell is a pal of Shantner and Bush is a buddy to Shatner.

That is the way it is!

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 03 - 09:00 AM

More research shows that Khandu is correct. Even further research shows conclusively that not only Moloch sacrifices to Shatner, but so does Asmodeus, Lilith, Shaitan, the Wendigo, Nut, Freya, Woten, Baal, and Yog Sothof.

Further research into this continues. News at 11.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 May 03 - 11:50 AM

YOG SOTHOTH!!! That name sends a chill through me, but not as big a chill as the dread sound "TEK-E-LI-LI!!!" Now that is horror with a capital "H". I expect to hear shortly that even GREAT CTH*LH* sacrifices to Shatner! It wouldn't surprise me. Shatner is like a force of Nature, he's simply omnipotent.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 03 - 09:13 PM

Further research also shows worship by Fenrir, Jormungand, Hecate, Hiisi, Mictlantecuhtli (and his wife), Yenaldlooshi, Daityas, Leonard, Kali, Caillech, Belphegor, Furfur, Neit, Felorn, the Morrigan, and Arawn.

Yog Sothoth was remarkably restrained today, considering that I misspelled his name.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 29 May 03 - 09:17 PM

The majesty of the man is in his ability to make a success of spoofing himself! Shatner, and only Shatner, has mastered this. This shows his genuis, his brilliance!
How many have tried to make it in show-business by spoofing other well-knowns such as Shatner? But only he has succeeded in spoofing himself!

What a guy! It is fitting and proper that he be the highlight of the MOTHER OF ALL BS THREADS!

What a guy!

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 29 May 03 - 10:29 PM

The Majesty of Shatner is shown in the fact that both MOAB and Spaw's Birthday Threads have become Shatnerized!!!

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 29 May 03 - 10:54 PM

Scottieeeeeeeee, Please Beam these boys up! They need to be de-humanized for this thread to remain
completely insane,
constantly inhumane,
and the criterion for a permanent brain stain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 May 03 - 11:08 PM

Yes...and don't forget...

Bill Shatner's initials are: B.S.

That tells you all you really need to know.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 30 May 03 - 08:59 PM

Yes! Yes! Providence has moved its mighty finger again! All this time, I believed this to be the MOTHER OF ALL BULLSH*T THREADS, but, NO...it is the MOTHER OF ALL BILL SHATNER THREADS...or not.

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 30 May 03 - 09:18 PM

*weeping for the BS that was once brilliant - and is now textbook material for the WSSOBA!*


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 May 03 - 11:53 PM

Well, when you strip away the decorations and the glitter of and finally get down to basics you are faced with the most fundamental thing in all life. It's called...SHATNERIZATION. Deal with it, Mario. We all have to face these things eventually. It's like Murphy's Law...inescapable and inexorable.

"To boldly go where no man has gone before..." (Ooooo-oooo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oooooo...)

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 May 03 - 12:06 AM

Of course, we could instead discuss the sex life of penguins. That could be good for another 20 or so posts. How about it?

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 May 03 - 09:48 AM

With the 'Cat going down for ten days....

Will this thread ever reach 500 posts? Will Bill Shatner ever? Stay tuned!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 31 May 03 - 12:33 PM

And will the 'Cat be down for Spaw's birthday? (shudder).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 May 03 - 01:42 PM

AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

The 'Cat's goin' down for at least 10 days! Gawd! Think of all the BS that the regular BSers won't be able to release because the 'Cat's goin' down for 10 days! The BS will just build up and build up and when the 'Cat it comes back online it'll be like that old joke about the monkey and the cork. BS will be flying everywhere and Joe Offer will be like the monkey tryin' to put the cork back in!

Oh well, so it goes. See you whackos when it's back up. Be sure to wear your hipboots and raincoats.

Bruce


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 31 May 03 - 04:03 PM

Ha!

Me and Bill Shatner


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 31 May 03 - 06:40 PM

Carol the sailor, my admiration for you has had a meteoric rise! You and the Shat! Who'd a thunk it??!!

Y'all all have a nice 10 or so days and come back full of BS to add to the MOTHER OF ALL BS THREADS!!!

Y'all come back now, ya heah?

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Jun 03 - 04:44 AM

Well... someone had to do it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jun 03 - 08:56 AM

"...and the Shat came back, the very next day...."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Jun 03 - 02:25 PM

Well, I was gonna be a smart-ass and post something as Shiney Knause or John Ashcroft or some other fictitous person, but I'm afraid to ditch my cookie right now 'cause it might not wanna come back. As myself, I can't think of a damned thing to say right now. I'm sure Tweed will be glad that the 'Cat's back up 'cause Tweedburg was on the verge of experiencing a severe BS outbreak. Yet another bullet dodged by the crafty expatriate Hoosier.

Bruce


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Jun 03 - 04:09 PM

I am informed by reliable sources that William Shatner himself was quite concerned about the Mudcat being offline for an extended period. He regards this forum as an important contributor to the objective of acheiving complete SHATNERIZATION of society on a worldwide basis...an objective toward which such luminaries as George Bush Jr., Mike Tyson, Martha Stewart, Saddam Hussein, and Mao Tse-Tung have also made enthusiastic efforts of their own from time to time.

Don't prosyletize...SHATNERIZE!!!

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 05 Jun 03 - 07:47 PM

My dear BeeDub,
Tweedburg is so full of BS it has run out the cracks and you see the horrible results before you. A nameless, crawling and gibbering chaos....
Who's there?

Yerz,
Ex-pat hooszer Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jun 03 - 09:08 AM

LH, there's a William Shatner appreciation group here. They call themselves "The Shats" and using the motto "You don't know Shat!" to begin a conversation about The Man's ideas, etc. They are popularily known around here as "Shatheads" and are starting a campaign "to put a REAL Shat in the White House."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Gobsmacked
Date: 06 Jun 03 - 02:58 PM

No Shat?!!!? I think he would make a much funnier and sexier president than even Bill Clinton did, and he would leave Bush totally in the dust.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Jun 03 - 08:36 PM

This is the 480th post to this thread. It should be patently obvious to anyone who is not asleep or dead that it will reach the heretofore unheard of landmark point of 500 posts sometime in the next few days, possibly even on Spaw's birthday.

As Knower of Things and a whole buncha other stuff and by virtue of the fact that I am 6'3" and weigh 230 pounds I declare that the posting of that 500th post is the prerogative of His Majesty King khandu of Mississippi and NO OTHER since he started this mess. Anybody that jumps in and takes that privilege away from His Majesty is gonna get an industrial-size can of whoop-ass opened on him/herself. Ya unnerstan'?

Bee etc. etc. etc.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 06 Jun 03 - 08:54 PM

All right, boys...you heard him... an industrial size can of whup-ass!!! Dang!!

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 03 - 09:13 AM

Number 500 belongs to The King, and I'll help ya, Bee etc. You whomp 'em and I'll double their library fines! That'll teach 'em! I mean, Elvis SHOULD have the honor!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 07 Jun 03 - 06:12 PM

we comin an wil bee ther soon we gona stomp sothen usa butt cuz kandoo an twed ar to doofussess yu haf bin warmed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Jun 03 - 07:22 PM

Aw-ight! You damm freds jus' cumown. I'mowntellyuwat tho, jus' 'cause we soun' lacka buncha peacniks 'roun here.... well.... jus' don' let it fool ya, Bud.

Tweed wears a jenuine camiflodge cap from K-Mart or Wal-Mart or oneuhthemotherdamnmarts.... or mebbe it's from Buck n' Bass or sumplace. I dunno. But I seen pitchers ob him wearin' it own hiz website 'n I shorazhell woudn' wanna mess wid nobody wearin' thet hat. 'N Tweed got sum serus mojo thown at 'im by a ole woman in Mizzippi a fue week ago 'n he iz runnin' 'round actin' like sumbody haf 'is age. In fack, you kin see thet hat an' thet mojo gettin put own th' boy just by clickin' rat heer. He is very unperdictible rat now 'n I'd ruther step in a fireant bed than mess wid th' boy.

'N don' even think 'bout messin' wid King khandu. I mean, thinkaboutferuhminit, the boy lives in Mizzippi. He don't have t' live in Mizzippi. He duz it 'cause he wants to! Any damm body lives in Mizzippi of hiz own free will is way too damm crazy fer this ole boy t' mess with 'n I think you damm freds'd wanna be awful careful 'bout tanglin' wid thet feller.

But, if'n you boys don' wanna tek my advice 'n jus' skeedaddle on outta here, jus' cumown. We is reddy fer ya.

Yore's Truely

Bee-dubya-ell

('N the "Bee" jus' mite stan' fer "Bubba" 'n ya'll don' ever wanna mess wid nodambody named Bubba! Or even sumbody who mite be named Bubba!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 07 Jun 03 - 07:38 PM

we ar freds beecuz thads wat or peepl cal orselfs my nam is bubba too bubba bubba in fac an i am cumin wit my pardnur debbee erl an we ar gun too haf two stomp yu cuz th big man said to sorry bud orders yu no


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 07 Jun 03 - 07:38 PM

That's Right, by Gawd!!! What BubbaDubya-Ell said!!!

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 07 Jun 03 - 10:29 PM

Dere freds,
Yore obivuos lak obv gude centz and brazzen behabour iz unaxable hare and ef you and yore haf-sheep compardray air intense fore gettin' down to it than I say lets throw some handz! I habv alzo receeved sartin infromshon thet wuld put you in the vicity ob my OFFICIAL MAGNETIC SINE, which war stole by miscrints from the Boberdz' Toyota only larst week and am mose anshus to whup somonez aiss fer this high crime.

Yerz,
Tweedzerzz.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 08 Jun 03 - 12:46 AM

I have just looked at the list of great men mentioned in this thread...Spiro Agnew, Ronald Reagan, Harry Lee Wigley, Joe Offer, William Shatner, Tom Jones, Kenny G, Tweed-Spaw-Carol C and their ilk, and I am amazed! To be honored with the mere mention of their names in the MOTHER OF ALL BS THREADS shows how the Mudcateers joined united in the Spirit of Undefiled BS!

Indeed, we should release a song which must be played on every radio station throughout the world in sync..."We Are The BSers".

We can change the world! For the better! Yes...you and me, working together with others of our ilk, can cause the whole world, including Florida, to reek of the wafting aroma of BS!!

What a wonderful world it could be!

And, in years to come, you can tell you great-grandchildren that you were there...you were in on the ground-breaking, earth-shaking thread, the MOTHER OF ALL BS THREADS! Yes...and they will look and they will find your name written in the roster of contributors to the MOAB, and they will tell their small friends, "My Great-GrandParent was truly Great, He/She took part in the Genesis of the Change!"

Tonight my Fellow BSers, I salute you and command the subjects of the Kingdom of Mississippi to stand in Awe at the mention of your names!

King khandu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Jun 03 - 01:10 AM

I posted this over at Tweedburg 'cause someone asked, but just to show that BS is not limited to the Mudcat, nay, not limited to cyberspace, but has a genuine 3D existence, and just to push this thread one step closer to the magic 500th post, here are the rules to the annual world famous Mullet Toss at the infamous Floribama Lounge to the best of my feeble memory. Just in case they don't have 'em where you're at, a mullet is a fish.

1) No frozen mullet. They have to be straight out of the official cooler. Nice and floppy and slippery.

2) No gloves.

3) No wiping the slime off of the mullet or dropping it in the sand to improve your grip.

4) The mullet must be tossed from Alabama into Florida. The state line is the foul-line. You may take a running start, but if you step over the state line you're disqualified.

5) You may hold the mullet anyway you want. Most people find that attempting to throw a perfect spiral pass doesn't really work that well. Using one's thumb and index finger to squeeze the mullet in the gill area, taking a running start and flinging it end-over-end seems to be the best strategy, but other techniques have been tried and originality is far from frowned upon.

By the way, Hall of Fame football quarterback Kenny "Snake" Stabler, who lives just a few miles from the Floribama, and has been know to drink a beer or two there, traditionally gets the privilege of tossing the first mullet.

Bubba-dubya-ell


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Subject: RE: BS: The Muther of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 08 Jun 03 - 10:43 AM

When do they have this famous mullet toss at the infamous Floribama Lounge? We might be in the vicinity sometime in the next few weeks. Hate to miss that one if it's happening while we're in the neighborhood.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Jun 03 - 11:17 AM

Sorry, Carol, the Mullet Toss is in April. I just dishcovered thet I mis-spelled the name of the bar - it's "Florabama", not "Floribama". Yer kin Google up their website if ya wanna.

But, if you're going to be in the Pensacola/Mobile area and a Thursday evening is open, you & JTS are more than welcome at our weekly session on Pensacola Beach.

Accordians are welcome!!! In fact, they're abundant at times.

PM me if yer interested.

Bruce


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 08 Jun 03 - 11:25 AM

And the KNOWER OF THINGS shines again! How many times he has given us tidbits of knowledge and we have said "Hey...I didn't know that!!"! Truly, we are in the company of GREATS here at MOAB, and bee-dubya is one of them!

Carol C...perhaps you will "mull it" over before attending the contest, I am not certain the Polka Circus will approve of one of their members being seen at such a high-brow affair!!

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jun 03 - 11:47 AM

Khandu, don't forget Yog Sothoth, Moloch, Asmodeus, Lilith, Shaitan, the Wendigo, Nut, Freya, Woten, Baal, Fenrir, Jormungand, Hecate, Hiisi, Mictlantecuhtli (and his wife), Yenaldlooshi, Daityas, Leonard, Kali, Caillech, Belphegor, Furfur, Neit, Felorn, the Morrigan, Arawn, and, of course, GREAT CTH*LH*.

Believe me, you wouldn't want to p*ss THESE folks off!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Jun 03 - 02:01 PM

WAIT-A-DAMM-MINNIT-HERE-BOYZ-N'-GURLZ!!!!

I was just scrollin' down th' music threads and one uh them PEL threads ferm them UKers has 499 posts! Nowlookahere, we cain't let a music thread beat th' Mother of All BS Threads in th' race to 500 posts. Get bizy!

Bruce


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 08 Jun 03 - 02:16 PM

Very well, BeeDub,
I have noticed horizontal ridges on my fingernails. I've heard that these occur when you get very sick and they seem to correspond to my last bout of bronchitis. I would hope no one responds to this item as it is only placed to boost the totals. Thank you and Bring your BS. Bring all you can carry....the race is on.

Yerz,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 08 Jun 03 - 02:28 PM

Hey, I didn't forget those guys...I just have trouble spelling their names!

And, yet again, bee-dubya brings up another fine point...MOAB beaten by PEL...Never let it be!!!

K


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 08 Jun 03 - 02:30 PM

Oh, Tweed, I sure hate to hear of the finger situation! I had that once but it wasn't on my fingers. The doctor gave me a few shots of penisillin and took care of it!

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 08 Jun 03 - 02:37 PM

I surely hate to post the last five just to get to 500, but if no one joins in quickly, I is gonna!!! Can't let PEL beat us to 500!

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 08 Jun 03 - 02:41 PM

You unnerve me completely my Liege and Ruler. And after I have constructed this wonderful tale around your highly esteemed headress!
King Khandu gets the Royal Bird


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 08 Jun 03 - 02:41 PM

What?


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