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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 22 Jun 14 - 11:21 AM
gnu 22 Jun 14 - 12:41 PM
Rapparee 22 Jun 14 - 02:27 PM
Rapparee 22 Jun 14 - 02:28 PM
gnu 22 Jun 14 - 03:12 PM
Amos 22 Jun 14 - 04:15 PM
Rapparee 22 Jun 14 - 08:14 PM
Acme 22 Jun 14 - 10:41 PM
Rapparee 22 Jun 14 - 11:24 PM
Amos 23 Jun 14 - 10:46 AM
Rapparee 23 Jun 14 - 11:41 AM
beardedbruce 23 Jun 14 - 11:50 AM
GUEST, gnuonlaptop 23 Jun 14 - 01:37 PM
Rapparee 23 Jun 14 - 02:05 PM
gnu 23 Jun 14 - 05:06 PM
gnu 23 Jun 14 - 06:46 PM
Amos 23 Jun 14 - 10:39 PM
Amos 24 Jun 14 - 12:36 PM
Acme 24 Jun 14 - 12:49 PM
gnu 24 Jun 14 - 01:06 PM
gnu 24 Jun 14 - 01:41 PM
Amos 24 Jun 14 - 02:06 PM
gnu 24 Jun 14 - 05:50 PM
Rapparee 25 Jun 14 - 09:42 AM
Acme 25 Jun 14 - 11:28 AM
gnu 25 Jun 14 - 12:02 PM
Rapparee 25 Jun 14 - 01:19 PM
Acme 25 Jun 14 - 03:33 PM
gnu 25 Jun 14 - 05:16 PM
gnu 25 Jun 14 - 07:17 PM
Rapparee 25 Jun 14 - 09:37 PM
Amos 26 Jun 14 - 12:07 AM
gnu 26 Jun 14 - 06:03 AM
Acme 26 Jun 14 - 12:52 PM
Rapparee 26 Jun 14 - 03:39 PM
gnu 26 Jun 14 - 08:57 PM
gnu 26 Jun 14 - 09:23 PM
Rapparee 26 Jun 14 - 10:10 PM
Acme 26 Jun 14 - 11:46 PM
Amos 27 Jun 14 - 01:30 AM
gnu 27 Jun 14 - 07:49 AM
Rapparee 27 Jun 14 - 10:06 AM
Rapparee 27 Jun 14 - 10:15 AM
Amos 27 Jun 14 - 12:02 PM
gnu 27 Jun 14 - 12:10 PM
Rapparee 27 Jun 14 - 03:30 PM
Amos 27 Jun 14 - 05:46 PM
Ebbie 27 Jun 14 - 09:09 PM
gnu 28 Jun 14 - 08:11 AM
Acme 28 Jun 14 - 12:46 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jun 14 - 11:21 AM

Thanks, Gary.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Jun 14 - 12:41 PM

I am reminded of why I can't/don't sing anymore (maybe one line in each verse of a few songs if someone makes me feel bad enough by repeatedly asking me to do so... AMOS) by the fact that my cords are very sore due to cheering World Cup games. You know the little old lady that walks her dog around here, lets it crap and doesn't clean up after it. Yeah, that's the one. Well, yesterday, she was letting her little rat piss on the base of the street light on my front lawn when Costa Rica scored and my two living room windows were open. She had white culottes on so I don't know if I scared her enough for her to join the dog but she started with the yelling, searing and fist shaking... she's rather batshit in the attic.

GO USA! 7PM EST.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 14 - 02:27 PM

Get an eagle and take up falconry. You will find that the eagle's poop will eventually contain strands of hair from a fuzzy little dog.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 14 - 02:28 PM

Or get some dog repellent and spray the post and the edges of your property.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Jun 14 - 03:12 PM

Dog repellant... hmmmm. Is the a little old batshit lady repellant?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jun 14 - 04:15 PM

Coyote Urine is your friend !!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 14 - 08:14 PM

Put a move on her and when cusses at you, put one hand in a pocket (front) and jiggle it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Jun 14 - 10:41 PM

That could turn out badly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Jun 14 - 11:24 PM

I was in management. I just think 'em up, other people have to make 'em work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jun 14 - 10:46 AM

Amazing what passes for management anymore!! :D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 14 - 11:41 AM

The Presidency is next. Unlike Chonga I was born in the US of A, eddicated in the Great Midwest, I'm a disabled American veteran, and I don't (usually) pack a gun. I can play the trumpet somewhat and I eat something besides bananas and termites. My platform will be the same as before:

VOTE RAPPAREE! HE'S ONLY IN IT FOR THE RETIREMENT BENEFITS AND THE MONEY AND WILL RESIGN AS SOON AS HE'S VESTED (and he'll try not to screw things up too badly before that)!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 23 Jun 14 - 11:50 AM

" he'll try not to screw things up too badly before that"

THAT would be something new in politics!






Got my vote.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST, gnuonlaptop
Date: 23 Jun 14 - 01:37 PM

But, will you promise a chicken in every pot and a crossword puzzle in every potty?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jun 14 - 02:05 PM

Only for Canadians*. For people in the US I only promise to resign as soon as I can and to try not to screw things up to badly before that.






*For them I will also promise some pot in every chicken and potty words in every crossword.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Jun 14 - 05:06 PM

After your term as Top Dog in the US, can you run for PM here? Or would that be demeaning? I mean, sucking arse of the new US Top Dog, of course... as that's what seems to being going on here these days.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Jun 14 - 06:46 PM

If you get elected, will you poll the public on "Who to cruise today?" on a regular basis? Ya know. A pre-emptive democratic strike... or not? Personally, if you get elected, I would suggest a barrage of cruise missiles on our Parliament buildings while they are in full session. Well, maybe not. Maybe just one big one on Harper's residence. Yeah, but, on second thought, put a half dozen on his ass just ta make sure.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jun 14 - 10:39 PM

It's a nerve-wracking thought, I must admit. Hand Rapp a nuclear football in a briefcase and he's likely to turn around and file it under "N".

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jun 14 - 12:36 PM

In fact it's a sheer recipe for cacotopia! The old Greeks would say, "There's no eu there!"

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jun 14 - 12:49 PM

I've seen Bee-dubya-ell in these parts recently. He needs to stop in and say hello to MOM and the gang. Ignore Gluon humping his leg while he chews the fat with LH and Chongo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Jun 14 - 01:06 PM

"cacotopia" An imagined place where government is of the worst;

So what's new? Yours is dysfunctional. Ours is fucktional. Then again at least you appear to have a Pres that isn't a deranged maniacal monster and a congress that seems to have some common sense. We have a parliament that are truly fucked up and a senate that is on the edge of that. Thanks Dog we have a supreme court that has some common sense... for now. Your supreme court is... you know. All in all, more sad than bad on both sides of the getting more unfriendly border.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Jun 14 - 01:41 PM

Diet tip # 33.

Intro... I started my diet the day after my Bday of March 7. Damned if I didn't GAIN weight is seesaw fashion. I was 190.4 one day and said to me, "Gary boy... knock that shit off. You don't wanna be 15# over come summer." I plugged away at it and got to 176.4 one day but I hovered at ~ 178-180 for far too long. I have one pair of fat jeans and they are about 30 years old. I often cross my right leg over my left leg (while sitting) such that my right ankle rests lust above my left knee and damned if I didn't fray a hole in my left pant leg. Such 'unkempt deportment' is absolutely unacceptable when accompanying Mum on our daily outings at the grocery stores. I know because she told me so. Three weeks ago, I bit the bullet and paid $26.94 (!) for a new pair of Levis that fit a touch loose... they'll shrink a bit when I wash them and be perfect.

Today, two days after summer solstice, 174.4# and my new jeans do not fit. I have hold them up until I cinch my belt tight and, of course, such is unacceptable unkempt deportment.

Soooo, the tip is, if ya wanna loose weight, but a new pair of fat jeans that will be useless in short order but may be of value in future if ya pig out.

By bedtime, I shall have consumed two large medium ground beef burgers topped with Vidalia onion, tomatoe, dill pickle, Miracle Whip (ketchup instead on #2), and whatever else I can fit into my opened-wide pie hole. NO Kraft cheese slices tho. They ain't food and, more importantly, they are calories I don't need. After all, I AM on a diet eh?. Oh, washed down with several Buds, of course.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jun 14 - 02:06 PM

Nothing light about those Buds, bud; nip 'em in the bud!

IF you're in range of San Diego, come down to the Renegade Country Bar on old Highway 80 tonight at 7 and I'll sing you a mess o' songs!




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Jun 14 - 05:50 PM

Ya know when I said 2 burgers? I lied. I ate one and damn near died.

https://www.flickr.com/photos/15565423@N05/14313815689/


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 14 - 09:42 AM

Don't eat burgers. Ate least cooked ones. Eat your meat raw and bloody like Nature intended.

With that said, you are all invited to the Annual Idaho Legion Non-Barbecue And Golf Tournament this coming Sunday at the golf links behind the Legion Hovel. The water hazards, as usual, will be drained and filled with martinis (stirred, not shaken, as God intended).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jun 14 - 11:28 AM

"Golf links" is a euphemism for the sand and gravel pits beside the concrete plant. Don't get run over by any cement trucks while you're chasing little white balls around the "course."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jun 14 - 12:02 PM

I felt so bad, physically AND guilty after I ate that monster burger that I used cracked wheat bread for the second one about 4 hours later. Took me an hour to get 4/5ths of it down. Ate the rest when I rose this AM. 176.2# this AM... after I ate the rest of the burger, of course. I feel so guilty that I am gonna get me exercise. I forget who plays in the 2 early World Cup matches but I am determined to buck up and watch as much as I can.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 14 - 01:19 PM

Exercise: Ex = former. Former ercise. I have no idea what ercise is, but exercise means it no longer is. Therefore I refrain from doing any ercise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Jun 14 - 03:33 PM

I don't speak Russian (or whatever it is they're speaking) but I do believe this is a tutorial about the wrong way to install a kitten in a motor vehicle. Someone apparently mounted the spring with the cat in upside down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jun 14 - 05:16 PM

Cool vid, SRS. Thanks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jun 14 - 07:17 PM

Holy batshit Batman! I just met The Butterfly Lady! She is cooool! I wondered down to look at my tomatoes and there she was on the apartment building property at the bottom of the grade with her cane, net and jar. Near an hour of conversation during which I showed her my tomatoe leaves with tobacco virus and she showed me all the ladybug worms and pupae she had collected. There is a wealth of ladybugs five feet from my maters! This lass knows her insects! She told me how to control aphids by collecting ladybug worms and larvae and applying them to plants... green and black aphids (didn't know there were black aphids and that they and red ants have a symbiotic relationship that will destroy plants in jig time). So much info! I shall call her The Ladybug Lady from now on, not just 'that lady with the net that catches butterflies'... she was never after butterflies. Or, more properly, Heather. What a gem!

I actually might have a 3D friend! Not a bad looker either (hey... I AM a man so that part is MANdatory). Jet black hair and piercing blue eyes backed up with bug knowledge... what's not to like eh? We even shook hands. I can't wait to see her again. I'll have a bottle ready and we'll stalk Ladybugs together. Seriously, that conversation was the most fun I have had in a long time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jun 14 - 09:37 PM

So you've been bugged by a mysterious stranger? She obviously is an entomologist, or maybe just a CIA operative in disguise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jun 14 - 12:07 AM

Oh, Gnuzer this is grand news! I hope you court her gently and successfully! Nothing like a 3D friend to strengthen the bonds of life, eh? Find out what kind of beer she likes!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jun 14 - 06:03 AM

Thurs. Afternoon
Rain
13°C
Feels like 11
P.O.P: 90%
Rain: Close to 15 mm
Wind NE 25 km/h
Wind gust 41 km/h
Humidity 100%

Glorious weather!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jun 14 - 12:52 PM

That is good news! Improve your tomatoes and your social life in one fell swoop!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 14 - 03:39 PM

gnu's got a girl friend! gnu's got a girl friend! Nyah nyah nyah!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jun 14 - 08:57 PM

WHOA! Back the bus up! gnu don't got no girlfriend and never will. Friend? Yeah. GIRLfriend, nuh-uh. I gave up chasin pussy a LONG time ago. Been runnin er on manual ever since. Celibate for life unless. Although, the Ladybug Lady would turn my crank if it wasn't so rusty.

Besides, she has arthritis too but she is advanced and needs a cane so I could chase her down if I had to. Well... if I snuck up on her.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jun 14 - 09:23 PM

Schweinsteiger!!!

I said his name first. Take a swig. Those are the rules even if the announcer didn't say his name when he touched the ball. Look. If yer gonna play Schweinsteiger!!! ya gotta play by the rules and drink up, damnit!

And NO! I am not playing Dempsey! He gets the ball far too often and he's a quick bugger and I cannot swig like a young man anymore.

Of course, since I play Schweinsteiger!!! by myself, I only have to compete against the Limey announcer so I needn't take but a sip when he beats me to it. He seldom does. Matter of fact, the self-righteous prig gets so many things wrong callin the games that I figure he's on the bottle early every day.

Well done USA!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jun 14 - 10:10 PM

Of course, of course. The USA is well done, prit near burned in fact.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jun 14 - 11:46 PM

Be careful in your approach, gnu, that cane can be a well-placed weapon. You don't want to scare her off!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jun 14 - 01:30 AM

Courtesy and care and humor will always win the day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Jun 14 - 07:49 AM

Yer talkin about charm to an Irish?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 14 - 10:06 AM

Yeah. I've seem Irish "charm": "Go feck yeself!' "Just bugger off, ye shite-smeared old fart!" "Ye're cut off, ye've had too much already." "Aye, and this is the Dingle sewer treatment plant. I'm right proud of the work I did here!" (This last from an architectural engineer, and I'm probably the only one on MC who has ever visited and toured the sewage treatment facility in Dingle, County Kerry, Ireland.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 14 - 10:15 AM

Soon I must leave you. Yes, you shall meet but you shall miss me, there will be one vacant chair, you will hasten to caress me, but I will not be there.

Tomorrow I go to Salt Lake City. Sunday I fly to Jacksonville, FL, where I shall board an assault craft for a Secret Destination somewhere on the East Coast (I'm not at liberty to tell you what country). I can tell you that at one point I shall be at the Naval Facility near Hampton Roads, VA. I'll be doing this without weapons, except perhaps a pocket knife.

I'm taking on this desperate and dangerous mission for MOAB. I know that the rest of you can't take a fifteen day cruise up the East Coast, visiting Savannah, Charleston, St. Simon's Island, Baltimore, New York, and other places so out of the immense generosity I have been given as part of my makeup I am doing it for you. I hope to let you know at least daily how much or how little you're enjoying yourselves. It will be hard work, resting and relaxing, eating excellent food and drinking good wines and beers, but remember that I'm doing it for all of you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jun 14 - 12:02 PM

Do they charge an extra seat for all the blarney you carry with you, Booquemanne?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Jun 14 - 12:10 PM

Sounds a treat, Rap! Stay away from the shore whores... keep yer gun clean. OOPS! Did I just let the gat out of the bag? I'd say no as everyone knows you would never stretch the truth about knives and swords and guns n such. Say, will there be a gator hunt? you did say it was a luxury cruise. I hear fresh gator is deeeelish and I'll bet they have plenty of Kraft Hickory BBQ sauce on board. Why, they may have a variety of flavours. 77p at the Coop this week. Same for the salad dressing. I'll be stocking up fer ribs n such and I can pick some up for anybody that wants some. Let me know how many and what flavours.

Enjoy!

P.S. This time, I demand pics! No shore whores, of course.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 14 - 03:30 PM

Pictures? On a Secret Mission?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jun 14 - 05:46 PM

No use, mate--all we'd ever see in a greenish soupy fog due to the condensation of blarney in his vicinity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 27 Jun 14 - 09:09 PM

"It will be hard work, resting and relaxing, eating excellent food and drinking good wines and beers, but remember that I'm doing it for all of you." Rap

So it is now Lane, Patterson, Swan, Fielding and - um, what's your name again?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jun 14 - 08:11 AM

To repeat my last lost post...

Drollman or some such.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Jun 14 - 12:46 PM

Is this one of those cruises when the ship "relocates" to a new season and gives you a great discount for riding basically inside a floating city in which you might or might not ever actually go outside and see that you're at sea?


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