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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jul 16 - 09:45 AM
gnu 25 Jul 16 - 06:24 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 16 - 09:06 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Jul 16 - 11:06 PM
Amos 26 Jul 16 - 02:06 AM
gnu 26 Jul 16 - 09:43 AM
Rapparee 26 Jul 16 - 09:50 AM
Rapparee 26 Jul 16 - 01:31 PM
Little Hawk 26 Jul 16 - 03:34 PM
Donuel 26 Jul 16 - 03:51 PM
gnu 26 Jul 16 - 06:25 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 16 - 11:12 PM
Amos 27 Jul 16 - 12:32 AM
Rapparee 27 Jul 16 - 09:02 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Jul 16 - 06:46 PM
gnu 27 Jul 16 - 07:38 PM
Rapparee 27 Jul 16 - 09:29 PM
Rapparee 27 Jul 16 - 09:48 PM
Rapparee 28 Jul 16 - 09:10 AM
Little Hawk 28 Jul 16 - 03:14 PM
gnu 28 Jul 16 - 06:57 PM
Rapparee 28 Jul 16 - 08:21 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Jul 16 - 08:27 PM
Amos 28 Jul 16 - 08:33 PM
gnu 29 Jul 16 - 05:19 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 29 Jul 16 - 07:00 AM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 16 - 07:36 AM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 16 - 08:05 AM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 16 - 09:12 AM
Rapparee 29 Jul 16 - 09:35 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 29 Jul 16 - 12:43 PM
gnu 29 Jul 16 - 02:13 PM
Donuel 29 Jul 16 - 03:05 PM
gnu 29 Jul 16 - 05:46 PM
Rapparee 29 Jul 16 - 09:14 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jul 16 - 05:48 AM
Little Hawk 30 Jul 16 - 12:07 PM
Amos 30 Jul 16 - 12:48 PM
Donuel 30 Jul 16 - 01:11 PM
Little Hawk 30 Jul 16 - 01:52 PM
Acme 30 Jul 16 - 03:36 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 Jul 16 - 03:48 PM
Little Hawk 30 Jul 16 - 04:36 PM
Rapparee 30 Jul 16 - 10:13 PM
Little Hawk 31 Jul 16 - 07:36 AM
Rapparee 31 Jul 16 - 08:38 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Jul 16 - 08:59 AM
Donuel 31 Jul 16 - 09:21 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 31 Jul 16 - 11:28 AM
gnu 31 Jul 16 - 02:41 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jul 16 - 09:45 AM

Silly Gluon! That Calabi–Yau manifold trick only works with paved driveways. It strips the concrete, asphalt, or gravel from the driveway and converts it into a spheroid, leaving the driveway's footprint behind. Well, my driveway is completely unpaved. It already is a footprint! I only call it a "driveway" because there's no such word as "driveruts". Converting my driveway into a spheroid would necessarily entail converting the entire planet into a spheroid, which it already is!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jul 16 - 06:24 PM

The proper term is "driveaway" on accounta that's what you use it for... to drive away. Going or coming. When your vehicle is parked in your driveaway, you don't say it's parked in a parkway. As In, "My car was parked in the parkway last night and...". No. You say, "My car was in the driveaway..."

WTF do you not understand?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 16 - 09:06 PM

(SIGH) It must be a Newbrunswickian thing. Answers.com says that's what they're called, Newbrunswickians. Answers.com also asks the question, "What are the main attractions in New Brunswick?" to which there is no answer given. I mean, I've been to St. Andrews and St. Johns and I couldn't agree more. Or less. Whichever. Anyway, the flag of New Brunswick differs greatly from that that of Ontario, which is pure white with the battle cry "Cedamus!" on it (dates back to the War of 1812).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Jul 16 - 11:06 PM

My spell checker insists that "driveaway" is not a word. But that's okay. It used to insist that "Obama" was not a word until I taught it better. I clicked on the "Add to Dictionary" option and a little window popped up saying, "I don't believe you! Prove it!" So I had to go buy a copy of National Enquirer and show Mr. Spell Checker the headline that said "Duckdog Erupts From Obama's Forehead!" That squared it away with Mr. Smartypants Spell Checker. It couldn't ignore evidence from National Enquirer. It's a highly reputable news source. Donald Trump told me so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 16 - 02:06 AM

Drumpf is the most bloviating, overblown, mendacious, meretricious, discordant, unqualified sumbitch to ever stroll into the DNC.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jul 16 - 09:43 AM

New Brunswickers are called NBers or, more properly, Herring Chokers.

AND, St. Johns is not in New Brunswick.

AND, St. Johns is not in Newfoundland. There is a St. John's in NF and it is a lovely and lively spot. The regatta will be on soon and, me zon me zon, she's some shockin' good fun.

I can see where all this would confuse a tourourist. Must be all the fresh salt air, eh? Makes ya gap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 16 - 09:50 AM

The DNC? Really, Amos?

Your dear friend Donald's grandfather seems to have been a draft dodger (in Germany) and his father made money building (for a tidy profit) buildings for the Navy during WW2 and to veterans afterwards. His father was also sued by the US Civil Right Commission and the Urban League for housing discrimination; the settlement in this was large in many ways. His grandfather died of pneumonia during the 'Flu epidemic of WWI and his father died of pneumonia after having Alzheimer's for six years. Of course, his grandfather was intimately involved with Christ -- Elizabeth Christ, whom he married over the objections of his mother. Donny's mommy was Scottish and listed as a "domestic" in various census records. His older sister, Maryanne Trump Barry, was a judge on the 3rd Circuit Court of Appeals.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 16 - 01:31 PM

People from NB are correctly called "New Irish" because the original name of the place was "New Ireland." Or "Newmicks" or "Fenians Nouveaux." Or just call them "Paddy Whacks". They also answer to "Iugulus clupea harengus" or "Throttlers of Atlantic herring," but only the Upper Crust (such as it is) are called that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Jul 16 - 03:34 PM

Don't worry. When Chongo is elected, he'll clean up the whole mess right quick. So fast that you won't have time to catch your breath. Wait for it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Jul 16 - 03:51 PM

As a Irish Cod cuddler I object to being called a mickininny. NBwikians can/t hold a candle to Dutch Harborians.

http://www.nbapc.org/


In the 12th century old man Trump was the Butcher of Crete
Rap,
( the sins of the father are only the role models for the sons )


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jul 16 - 06:25 PM

"People from NB are correctly called "New Irish" because the original name of the place was "New Ireland." Or "Newmicks" or "Fenians Nouveaux."" I shall require references and sources for such. I believe such was proposed but never happened.

And it never should have happened. The First Nations of New Brunswick include the Mi'kmaq, Maliseet/Wolastoqiyuk and Passamaquoddy. If anything, NB should be called "The Land We Owned, and Still Own BTW, Before You White Assholes Fucked It Up for a Cheap $$$".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 16 - 11:12 PM

Mon vieux gnu (in honor of NB being the only officially bilingual Province in Canada:

Please see here. I certainly wouldn't make historical stuff up!

In discussing the Mi'kmaq, Maliseet/Wolastoqiyuk and Passamaquoddy you forgot the Canibis (no, I'm not fooling). You'll have to look them up yourself -- the cite is in Google books. Of course, that was when Maine was still part of NB.

Did you know that the motto on the flag of NB, "Spem Reduxit," was originally "Spam Reduxit" -- or "Spam AGAIN?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 16 - 12:32 AM

He has wasted whatever dignity his mottled legacy may have contained, and spilled it on the ground like a mess of Onanistic pottage.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 16 - 09:02 AM

I understand your content, Amos, but context was absent. Nonetheless, I shall treasure it as if it were the treasures of Croesus himself and will forego making it lie in a Protean bed of my making. While doing so might enhance meaning, it also may well ransack said meaning and strip your post of any relevance it might have to anything at all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Jul 16 - 06:46 PM

Onanistic Pottage! Great band! Their first album, "Will the Circle-Jerk Be Unbroken" was seminal. Somehow their second album, "Doing the Five Knuckle Shuffle" didn't come off as well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Jul 16 - 07:38 PM

"... but mostly they settled in a place they called New Ireland..."

So. "They" called it that. Nobody else did. BTW, them there fellahs settled down south in yer Albert County and far more Irish settled elsewhere. Take yer Kent County... that fly infested bog country what could grow peat moss and rocks and some blueberries and cranberries and the odd red haired Irish child. I mean, some. Not "odd" as in "odd". Well, there was Aunt Annabell. She was as odd as they come. Crazier than a bag a hammers. What glorious fun she was. Always a laugh. She was actually a Little... half Little. Gramma Owens, nee Pascal, was not her mother. But, Gramps and Gramma brought her to Moncton when they said goodbye to the flies those many years ago. Fact is, Andy Little was firin blanks and he needed children... can't farm without children. So, since they were all farmers upalong, gramps was the hired gun. Hey, when yer bull is blank, ya go to the next farm and hire a stud, right? Alas, a female was born... Aunt Sally got sick, Andy couldn't look after a daughter (1900 or so; Aunt Sally died some years later), the farm fell into disrepair, and Annabell was Gramps' responsibility. So, off to the big city with the secret well kept. It's a wonderful story that gives insight into the lives of poor Irish "back in those days". Now, the story of Ned? The lumber company? The fire? Moving back to Ireland with the insurance money? The sale of the original (Riparian Rights) land grants illegally by the sheriff of the Edward and his son's properties? All great stories. One involves a T Model Ford with the back seat piled with bottles of liquor.

You pick out Annabell.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 16 - 09:29 PM

Hah! Back there in Adams County, Illinois, is the city of Quincy. For some reason, probably because there were lots of Germans and Irish there and they could fight each other, my ancestors on both sides settled there. Right on the banks of Mighty Mississloppy River. Mark Twain country. Abe Lincoln country.

Anyway, long about backaways, my paternal grandpa Shorty was born to a guy named George. George had a farm on some land out on North 18th Street, and the Catolicks in town needed a second cemetery cuz so many were dying. A couple of the churches got together and bought some land for the cemetery from a guy named Benson or something -- began with a B, anyway. Each church paid USD 3,700, which back in 1905 or so was a pretty chunka change. Now that land belonged to George. I ain't saying money changed hands, which I'm sure it did, and I'm not saying George and this other fella diddled the churches out of a few grand, but it sure stinks even now.

Here's the thing: George became the sexton (caretaker) for the new cemetery. He diddled 'em on the land and then landed the job taking care of it.

Anyway, eventually he has a buncha kids: Bill, Shorty, Lawrence, Al, Joe, and some others too numerous to mention. Bill became an auctioneer, Lawrence became a really good painter, Al became a farmer SOUTH of town, and Joe followed George as sexton for that cemetery (our old family farm!) but for the other three Catlick cemeteries in town.

Now Shorty, he became a carpenter. He started courtin' a girl named Mary, and they got married. Some six months later they had a bouncing baby boy -- my father. And it was a miracle, cuz that bouncing baby boy was a full term baby!! Yes! He developed so quickly he did in six months what every other baby took nine months to do! (The alternative solution is...well, I just can't believe my very own grandparents were, um, canoodling and that a shotgun in the hands of her father, Frank, was involved.)

I ain't got no pictures ta show ya, so ya gotta take my word that every man in my family was and is the paragon of masculinity and good looks and the women were all sexy, svelte, and smarter than the men.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 16 - 09:48 PM

The next Prime Post will be 54829. Just thought everyone would like to know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 16 - 09:10 AM

The ride was long and in places bumpy. After an hour or so, Chinga asked, "Where are we going?" and General West replied, "To a safe place."

More time passed and then the snow machine halted under a large platform. It began to ascend.

"Good," said the General. "We're here, Penelope."

"Where is 'here'?" asked Chonga.

"A safe place. Nowhere, to be precise," West replied, and chuckled.

The elevator containing the snow cat reached the deck of the platform and they climbed out.

"Inside, quickly," urged General West. "A storm is brewing and out here the wind will blow you into Russia."

They quickly went into a rounded building and then were led by guards -- armed guards, Penelope noted approvingly -- into a large office.

"Good," said the General. "Now we can talk. First, you wonder where you are. You're nowhere. This place is an abandoned oil platform, you are in international waters -- or rather ice, at the moment -- in the Beaufort Sea. It may be a British possession, but Russia, Canada, Norway, the United States, and other countries have claimed this area. Until ownership is settled, if ever, we're operating out of here."

"MI17?" queried Chinga.

"No. A different agency. SOB. Special Operations, Blue. And don't make any wise comments as it's a long way down to the ice."

"So we're SOBs now," mused Penelope. "Why 'Blue'?"

"Because black ops has a bad, bad reputation," replied the General. "And oh, yes -- your plane. Or rather, Her Majesty's plane. The Sorry Paling organization blew it up, of course. But they're backed by something much bigger, some government or government-like entity. SOB got the job of pulling you out because neither we nor the Yanks can afford you dead." He turned as a man entered the room. "Yes, Sergeant?"

"Here it is, Sir. Just as we thought." And he tossed a small metal capsule on the table.

"Oh, dear me. I'd hoped we were wrong." The General looked up at the Sergeant. "You know what this means?"

"Yes, Sir. Only too well, I'm afraid."

"Thank you, Sergeant. Dismissed."

The Sergeant, who obviously wanted to come to attention and salute, instead turned and left the room.

"What is it, Nigel?" asked Penelope, anxiety on her face and on the faces of the others.

"A capsule of VX nerve gas. If you'd stayed in that suite overnight you'd have all been killed. Nasty stuff. O-ethyl S-[2-(diisopropylamino)ethyl] methylphosphonothioate) chemically. Dispersed as fine droplets, which this container would do when heated on your suite's room heaters, it would land on you body and be absorbed through the skin. It does a number of things to your ACTH, making quite a mess of your nervous system. Among other things, you die."

Chonga looked stricken. "No guys with gats? Just a few droplets on a breeze on your skin and the lights go out?"

"That's it," said Penelope. "I've know about VX but never in a personal manner." She frowned. "I'm afraid, Nigel, that I will be taking lives before this is over."

"We all will. Hmm...I wonder if they knew that the Suite would continue deadly. This is a persistent agent. A lot of people would get sick and perhaps die. I don't think the hotel management was involved or this would never have been approved. Ladies and gentleman (he nodded to the pilot) we are up against a ruthless, ruthless organization." He turned to the pilot. "Sir, we can send you home or you can stay and work with us. Which would you prefer?"

The pilot answered, softly, "I'll stick. I had some friends lost to VX in Iraq when a chemical munitions weapon exploded. I hate that stuff. Sir," he continued, "if you could provide me with arms? I was PBI in the 'Stan and know something of their use."

"Thank you, Leftenant." West chuckled and said, "I know more about you than you think. DSC, MC -- your record speaks for you. And now," he continued, "shall we get down to work? I'm quite afraid blood will be spilt."


(Whose blood? Chinga's? Chonga's? Penelope's VX? -- you don't buy that at the local pharmacay, so where'd it come from? Don't change that dial!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Jul 16 - 03:14 PM

You do have a real gift for this kind of fiction, Rap. It only falls down when you bring the Chimps in, because everyone knows that the Chinga character is bogus, and the "Chonga" character, of course, is nothing more than a distorted projection of your own emotional need to mess around with my favorite characters and attempt to trash them.

Sad, really. But I forgive you. There is no sense in holding enmity against a mind that simply cannot help itself.

Other than that, though, pretty darned good!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jul 16 - 06:57 PM

I agree. No more monkeys.

BTW... that was a prime post.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 16 - 08:21 PM

Sorry, gnu. 54821 is not prime -- it's 13 x 4217.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Jul 16 - 08:27 PM

Rap, pay no attention to those who belittle your efforts. Your saga is by far the best thing I have not read since not reading Pride and Prejudice.

I can hardly wait for the film version to come out so I can stay home and not go see it.

Unless you can get Winona Ryder to play Chinga. That I'd pay to see.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 16 - 08:33 PM

I applaud Sir Rapp's dynamic, boldly-figured fictions. I always have. All of 'em.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jul 16 - 05:19 AM

Prime... as in prime rib, primo, good stuff and all that, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Jul 16 - 07:00 AM

By the way, lest feelings be hurt due to my gushing over Rap's derivative "Chonga" saga as superior non-reading material, please rest assured that I've long enjoyed not reading the non-derivative adventures of Little Hawk's various fevered imaginings as well.

I hold Little Hawk's efforts in the same high regard as those of Robert Ludlum, Clive Cussler, and James Patterson. Each time I visit my local library I pass over books written by those gentlemen with genuine pleasure and savor the experience of having not read them for many weeks.

Little Hawk should be proud to be not read in such illustrious company. I only wish he would release a compilation of his best work as an audio-book so I may not listen as well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 16 - 07:36 AM

Yeah, but....you have NOT read "Pride and Prejudice"?????????

WTF is wrong with you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 16 - 08:05 AM

By the way, I have the same reaction to Robert Ludlum, Clive Cussler, and James Patterson as you do. I've never read a thing by any of them.

I figure this is partly due to...

A. ...my fine taste in literature, my ongoing search for REAL quality as opposed to vapid generic filler, and my generally keen sense of what is worthwhile and what is not.

and B.   On the other hand...(grin)...it could be because I'm a pretentious snob who thinks he's smarter than the common herd. (Well, in truth...I am smarter than the common herd...)

Yeah, it's probably a combination of A and B above.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 16 - 09:12 AM

I've been not-reading Rap's amazing stories for many years now, and I feel that it has done me a lot of good. Kind of like not-shopping at WalMart. Or not-attending the monster truck rally and the demolition derby. And not-voting in USA elections. Heh! Heh!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 16 - 09:35 AM

Awright, just for that I'm not going to vote in the next Canadian election! Just suck on THAT for a while, smart boy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Jul 16 - 12:43 PM

Well, I have an excuse for not reading Pride and Prejudice. I was taking too many lit classes and the reading load was rather overpowering. I needed to have two Shakespeare plays, three Canterbury Tales, Moby Dick, The Brothers Karamazov, and Pride and Prejudice all read by the end of the week and there was no way it was going to happen. So, I wrote the titles on slips of paper, put them all in a hat, and picked the loser.

I have seen the 2005 film version of Pride and Prejudice with Keira Knightley as Elizabeth Bennet. In the event Winona Ryder is not available to play Chinga in the film version of Rap's saga, Ms Kightley would do quite nicely. I greatly enjoyed not seeing her in the second and third films in the Pirates of the Caribbean series. The first one was enough of that shit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jul 16 - 02:13 PM

Pffft! Read a real book like "Theoretical Soil Mechanics" by Our Father Who Art in Dirt, Karl von Terzaghi, cw 1943, ISBN 0 471 85305 4. It is my "bible" and I have followed it's teachings faithfully since I saw the late night light as a young student of engineering those many years ago. What Mohr could a Christian Otto ask for than a book of mathematical relations and revelations? We all end up in the dirt. Geotechnical engineers just get dirtier than others. And they write masterpieces. Peck that apart.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 29 Jul 16 - 03:05 PM

gnu, Sounds like valuable reading.
You might know if

the books by Dr. Brown regarding the hazards of drilling and draining ground water globally, hold water?
He seems to portray very dire consequences.
Is he an oil industry target or pioneer?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jul 16 - 05:46 PM

"valuable reading". Indeed. Your very foundation depends on the The Bible. Those that do not follow The Bible are doomed to shear failure underneath their very footings. Why, even the very towers we eat Pizza in can slip shearly into a list which makes for great tourist pictures but which will eventually fail at a critical angle, beyond which only engineers with their grout and determination can shore up the bases and prevent a tragedy.

As for the water wars? Locked and load, baby. The Energy East Pipeline is gonna rock your socks. Try drilling after that fucks up. Water is connected. Fuck up the surface waters of the largest source of fresh water on earth and you fuck most of NA. Energy East also has the ability to fuck up the eastern coast of the US and beyond.

Keystone XL? Small potatoes when it comes to destroying the water in NA. I could go on for hours. Dilbit? Fracking? I haven't the time. We need solar, wind and geothermal... yesterday.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 16 - 09:14 PM

Not my foundation. That's probably why it's all cracked and sheared and fallen in. Only my foundation garments hold it together. That and glue.

We had our windows cleaned inside and out today. First time in the 13 years we've been here that all of them have been done at the same time. The guy doing it said something about dirt and how some of it was left in big piles on the ground. He's writing a book about it, something like "Theoretical Mathematics of the Dirt From Unclean Windows." It promises to be a dirty book.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jul 16 - 05:48 AM

Yes, "Theoretical Mathematics of the Dirt From Unclean Windows" is the definitive work in its field, much as "Spectro-Sonographic Analysis of the Sound of Distant Toilets" is in its own.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jul 16 - 12:07 PM

What we need is a really comprehensive book on freebasing peanuts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 16 - 12:48 PM

I am going to plant flat stones in a pathway. That will make life bearable, for sure.

And just as a reminder for the record, while Chongo Chimp was indeniably brought forth by the revered Little Hack, his sister Chinga was my own contribution to our local zoo fo characters.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Jul 16 - 01:11 PM

Brother gnu, indeed the Bible is indispensable. We would not eat if it were not for the benefits of the Bible. Our dining table is missing a ball and claw and our bible is the precise thickness needed. COINCIDENCE ? impossible.. Our Bible was created precisely to bless our table.


(the effect of window dirt on acoustic laser sound detectors)

a thicker book than 'famous trump charities'


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jul 16 - 01:52 PM

Thanks for reminding me of "Chinga's" sordid origins, Amos. It may be the single worst thing you have ever done in your life.   :D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jul 16 - 03:36 PM

Been away for a while, MOM - it's a saga in and of itself, but one that probably shouldn't be told until after retirement.

BWL, everyone knows that the best screen version of Pride and Prejudice is with Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth. The film you mentioned as Knightly smiling rather too vacuously too much of the time. And even if there are a couple of non-novel invented scenes in the Ehle/Firth version, it's still the best.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Jul 16 - 03:48 PM

I planted some flat stones earlier today, myself. Okay, they weren't really stones. They were ruined kiln shelves. One of my kilns didn't turn off automatically like it should have and went to some ridiculously high temperature, probably north of 2500°F. Everything in the firing just sorta collapsed into a mishmash of blistered pots and warped and broken kiln furniture. First time I've ever used a hammer and crowbar to unload a kiln. The shelves found a new use as pothole repair agents.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jul 16 - 04:36 PM

Wow. That must have been quite a sight.

Acme - I really liked the Keira Knightly version of "Pride and Prejudice", but I haven't seen the version with with Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth, so I cannot compare the two. (I really like most of Keira Knightly's films.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 16 - 10:13 PM

The best version of That Novel I ever saw was when my friend Steve burned his copy.

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."

"I must learn to be content with being happier than I deserve."

"A girl likes to be crossed a little in love now and then.
It is something to think of"

"He is a gentleman, and I am a gentleman's daughter. So far we are equal."

"A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment."

Gad! Vacuous indeed! Worse in some ways than Dickens! But then, there's always "Northanger Abbey." And the "Confessional of the Black Penitents"!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jul 16 - 07:36 AM

It simply reflected (quite accurately, I think) the state of mind of people in that society at that time, Rap. That WAS the way they thought about single young men and women, and love, and marriage. Therefore, I think it makes an interesting look at an interesting time.

Now...if it were set in our present era, well...

"He's like, soooo you know...and then I'm like, whatever. Like, give me a break? I'm like, why don't you just...like..."

Now THAT's vacuity!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 16 - 08:38 AM

Reminds me of Natty Bumpo silently stalking through the forest primeval with a woman he's just rescued, at great peril, and he's lost. Yes! Leatherstocking is LOST! And then...then...a cannonball comes rolling along. Obviously it's at the end of its journey but! our hero follows its path back to the fort! Natty Bumpo is the only human being who could follow a track through rocks, mud, snow, slush, quicksand AND THROUGH THE AIR!!

As for Charles "Chuckles" Dickens, well, improbable is a good word. Come on! Dave Copperfield falls in with a school for thieves and doesn't want any part of it...and Fagin doesn't off the self-righteous little bugger to keep the school secret? Granted, Chuckles did at least visit the slums he wrote about.

Scrooge realizes that he's gonna croak one day and nobody will give a shit, so he reforms his greedy ways and all is sweetness and light? His heirs would have had him locked up as non compis mentes, and if not his heirs then society in general! Raving on about ghosts and all!

I shan't go into the details of "Silas Marner" (son of the Ancient Marner), Bulwer-Lytton's stuff (except that Snoopy made good use of it, "Heart of Darkness," "Jude the Obscure," and the rest of the 19th Century novelists (except Sam Clemens, probably the best writer of the 19th and 20th Centuries).

Let's face it: If it hadn't been required reading would you have read it at all, much less finished it? Don't you wish you'd read "Ulysses" or "Cien años de soledad" or even (God help us!) "Tropic of Cancer"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jul 16 - 08:59 AM

Fenimore Cooper's Literary Offenses by Mark Twain


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 31 Jul 16 - 09:21 AM

WOw Bee,
I easily get lost in the world of words but you open the canopy and show me where I am like a sunbeam.
Of all the trees in the woods of words&streams, you are in the top three.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jul 16 - 11:28 AM

Don, thanks for the compliment. But the secret to creating clear and meaningful* writing is simple: just imagine what James Fenimore Cooper would do, and then do the opposite.


* Bear in mind that "meaningful" within the context of The Mother of All BS Threads is not necessarily a meaningful term. After all, "BS" doesn't stand for "brilliant storytelling".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jul 16 - 02:41 PM

Well, it stands also for brilliant shit. Not just common bullshit. The bullshit herein strives to be brilliant shit. Primo bullshit. Now, some may argue that common bullshit is true art by true bullshit artists. To each his own, says I. In this hallowed forum, the question "What is folk?" has oft been asked and discussed to no avail, to no conclusion. Such is the same for bullshit. Bullshit herein is in the eye and mind of the reader, and is in the mind and the keyboard of the bullshitter.

Staples Business Depot can only produce copies of documents up to 2' wide. What kinda bullshit is that? "For all your business needs"? Bullshit!


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