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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 18 Apr 17 - 08:39 AM
Amos 18 Apr 17 - 06:10 PM
Rapparee 19 Apr 17 - 09:20 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Apr 17 - 04:49 PM
Donuel 19 Apr 17 - 08:34 PM
Rapparee 19 Apr 17 - 09:35 PM
Donuel 20 Apr 17 - 04:13 PM
Amos 20 Apr 17 - 06:41 PM
Amos 20 Apr 17 - 06:48 PM
Rapparee 20 Apr 17 - 10:17 PM
Rapparee 21 Apr 17 - 09:35 AM
gnu 22 Apr 17 - 08:22 AM
Rapparee 22 Apr 17 - 10:14 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Apr 17 - 11:34 PM
Amos 23 Apr 17 - 08:47 PM
Donuel 23 Apr 17 - 08:57 PM
gnu 23 Apr 17 - 09:24 PM
Rapparee 23 Apr 17 - 09:25 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 24 Apr 17 - 12:33 PM
Donuel 24 Apr 17 - 10:09 PM
Rapparee 24 Apr 17 - 10:11 PM
Rapparee 25 Apr 17 - 01:48 PM
Donuel 26 Apr 17 - 11:11 AM
Donuel 26 Apr 17 - 12:38 PM
Acme 26 Apr 17 - 12:57 PM
keberoxu 26 Apr 17 - 02:26 PM
Donuel 26 Apr 17 - 03:37 PM
Rapparee 26 Apr 17 - 05:58 PM
Acme 26 Apr 17 - 07:25 PM
gnu 26 Apr 17 - 08:31 PM
Donuel 26 Apr 17 - 09:28 PM
Rapparee 27 Apr 17 - 09:06 AM
keberoxu 27 Apr 17 - 12:34 PM
Rapparee 27 Apr 17 - 01:17 PM
gnu 27 Apr 17 - 02:31 PM
Rapparee 28 Apr 17 - 10:03 AM
Donuel 28 Apr 17 - 11:30 AM
Acme 28 Apr 17 - 11:42 AM
Donuel 28 Apr 17 - 12:03 PM
gnu 28 Apr 17 - 02:17 PM
Rapparee 28 Apr 17 - 08:30 PM
Acme 28 Apr 17 - 08:42 PM
Acme 29 Apr 17 - 06:48 PM
Rapparee 29 Apr 17 - 08:46 PM
gnu 29 Apr 17 - 10:44 PM
Donuel 30 Apr 17 - 09:27 AM
keberoxu 30 Apr 17 - 05:01 PM
Rapparee 01 May 17 - 08:43 AM
Rapparee 01 May 17 - 08:45 AM
Rapparee 01 May 17 - 08:47 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 17 - 08:39 AM

And yes, I admit that I am complicit in this!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 17 - 06:10 PM

SOmebody burn this to disk for the eventual investigation. Confessions in the halls of MOAB are probably priveleged, though...

We are being lambasted with blooms; spring roses and chrysalis and iris and dozens of others are exploding in chlorophyll and color. The birds perform air-support chorus as they call in the bloom-strikes until our ears ring and our eyes are all bedazzled with the sound and fury of it all.   The shock and awe of Life At Work surpasseth all understanding.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 17 - 09:20 AM

Braggart! I didn't know you had a "thing" for plants, but as long as they're consenting adults....

But you reminded me that I have iris bulbs to plant. My daffodils are in full cry, as are the grape hyacinths, the forsythia looked and looks like a yellow explosion, and I noticed some tiny red flowers peeking out from under a plant (I think they're frightened by the work going on).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Apr 17 - 04:49 PM

Happy Bicycle Day, Mom! Yes, it's the 74th anniversary of the first intentional LSD trip, on April 19, 1943. Happy trails to you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Apr 17 - 08:34 PM

freedom

United


Zimmerman - the good one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 17 - 09:35 PM

You took my 55955 and I had dibs on it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Apr 17 - 04:13 PM

Enjoy 56,000


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 17 - 06:41 PM

At fifty-five thousand and nine-fifty-eight
The burden of glory shines bright on our plate
With fifty-two more posts
(Well, now fifty-one)
The K's will click up! Our good deed will be done!
And none can ignore , as our triumphing shineth
That the quality here is of only the finest.
No scalawag lackwits nor slackers are we
Who paper the halls of the M.O.A.B!
It's only the greatest! Only the best!
The purest, the finest, the best of BS!
So dig in your wit-pit and bring out your jests!
With irony, sarcasm, dryness and zest!
Fail not, as the night turns on toward the day
To advance our Great Mother to her fifty-sixth Kay!

Dr. Rowell M. Arriffer, Poet Laureate
Village of Skinderflintøn, Norway
January 1907


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Apr 17 - 06:48 PM

ANd why did Rapaire, in his most trying hour
Fail to notice a chrysalis is hardly a flower?
Was it heat-stroke, exhaustion? Was the weather too muggy?
Or the stress of jetlag that has made him act buggy?
No matter, forget it, it's not such a failing
The Master Creator is too gross for detailing.
He can't be expected to remember it all
When he's working on cosmic plans, way past us all!
If his thin disguise fails as a keeper of data
A researcher of tomes, whose day job is a waiter,
We still must forgive him, as trees forgive forests
Seeing all the miraculous things he's done for us!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Apr 17 - 10:17 PM

Talk about your half (or slanted) rhymes!

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.


"Temperate" and "date"? C'mon, Bill!

And Emily! For shame:

"Hope" is the thing with feathers –
That perches in the soul –
And sings the tune without the words –
And never stops – at all –


Billy, you should know better:

What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?


And then there's Amos:

He can't be expected to remember it all
When he's working on cosmic plans, way past us all!
If his thin disguise fails as a keeper of data
A researcher of tomes, whose day job is a waiter,
We still must forgive him, as trees forgive forests
Seeing all the miraculous things he's done for us!


At least he's in good company.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 17 - 09:35 AM

In the interests of fairness, I should also point out that some of Amos' lines possess weak to nonexistent scansion. However, his grammar is almost always marginally acceptable among the narrow spectrum of those less erudite and less refined than he.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 22 Apr 17 - 08:22 AM

You must be a member to post in non-music threads.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 17 - 10:14 PM

You sayin' I ain't a member? Huh? Are ya? Remember, I'm Mom's favorite.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Apr 17 - 11:34 PM

Mom says this is not a non-music thread. It's not about music, but it is in the key of B♭.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 17 - 08:47 PM

Rapaire commenting on rhymes and scansion? Don't even try it. Mwahahaha. I scoff in your general direction, sirrah!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 23 Apr 17 - 08:57 PM

Sometimes 'a little' is all you need to improve the scansion.
If you can rhyme data with waiter you can rhyme castle with ass hole without objection.

As for the God-like sense of humor in the cosmic ironic jokes created just for mankind to laugh, Rapier has mastered pin point precision with history and language, but the universes are larger than a pin point. He is a better pseudo intellectual than I will ever be.

...Could you please pass the Civet sauce for the kale and pork rind salad?

As I was sayin, nice poem


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Apr 17 - 09:24 PM

I am a recluse. Recluse... from the latin... I don't care for the general public as most, it would seem, suck. Well, at least 50%. Thank goodness the MOAB is a source of (somewhat) sanity for me to rely upon.

Just an observation. Carry on. Smoke 'em if ya got 'em.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Apr 17 - 09:25 PM

It's also in A# and sometimes Cb. But Mom told me that alto MOABites are sometimes a lot of treble and can sometimes be downright bass, she thinks we are all children of note and she rarely has to use her staff on us.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Apr 17 - 12:33 PM

Hi, Mom! Why is being a fish out of water a cliché, but being a fish in water is not?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 24 Apr 17 - 10:09 PM

Schadenfreude.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Apr 17 - 10:11 PM

Bee-Dubya, perhaps a reference to the Dirac Sea will help you to understand.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Apr 17 - 01:48 PM

Whereas only a few seem to be posting here,
And therefore I detect a drop in the level of effective BS,
Therefore, I believe that everyone should
reionize their electrons.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Apr 17 - 11:11 AM

"Consciousness consists of vibrations of quantum energy. "Quantum" means an invocation of the foundation of infinite random organization at the smallest level."

After seeing this robotized re ionization generator I can see I am out of a job posting outrageous alternative cosmology threads.

Rap you may have accidentally made human postings worse and more rare.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Apr 17 - 12:38 PM

Rap
Base? To the contrary, I believe the position of keeper of the immortal thought, wisdom and observations of mankind and all its discoveries is a very lofty position in the continuum of life.

A cruel twist of fate prevents me from studying language (the written word) efficiently while blessing me with intelligence beyond my ken and perhaps yours. It is a subtle trap of consciousness akin to 'having no mouth but I must scream'.

Who knows , I may someday learn how to write gooder and bigly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Apr 17 - 12:57 PM

Some day I will describe the travesty that has limited my visits with MOM. But that day isn't here yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 Apr 17 - 02:26 PM

Acme, I hope your Cinnamon is feeling better after that rush to the vet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Apr 17 - 03:37 PM

All in all Rap has had as challenging a year as they come, yet the keen edge of his humour has not rusted a bit. For he is a jolly good fellow in the best sense of MOAB.

Meanwhile Amos had the intuitive insight to escape the West Coast from the combined radiation of Japan and Korea. This will undoubtedly extend his lifespan by 2 weeks, should folly occur.

Join the two of them via genetic engineering and you get the best of both worlds, instinctive future intuition and immortal past knowledge. The rest of us, the usual gang of idiots, will continue to hold up the NOW.

Oh dang, I just spilled their recombinant DNA samples in my Scotch.
Oh well no harm done.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Apr 17 - 05:58 PM

Now read something interesting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Apr 17 - 07:25 PM

Cinnamon had a re-check at the vet on Saturday, and I had a handful of treats in my pocket to have her do tricks and distract her from her recent idea that maybe the vet's office isn't as happy as place as she thought. There were several small dogs, and while we waited for her antibiotic Rx to be refilled for one more week, a 2-month old beagle puppy made he clear he wanted to play. Cinnamon obliged by lying down and nuzzling the little guy, who climbed all over her like a piece of playground equipment. Every time some part like a butt or an ear got close, Cinnamon got a sniff of her little friend, but she mostly just relished the opportunity to hang out with that guy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Apr 17 - 08:31 PM

That's so sweet, Acme. I loved the pic. Loved the fact that she got "distracted" too. I hope all is well.

Rap!!! Thank YOU. This will now be my "go to" re bullshit rather than the memes I have collected when someone spouts same in threads on the internUt. As far as bullshit goes, this is the classiest I have seen so far. And I be one classy good ol' boy, eh what? I shit you not.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Apr 17 - 09:28 PM

Without Bullshit Rap, what will all the PhD dissertations be about?

As it is, 20% are plagiarized anyway.





I miss my dog.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Apr 17 - 09:06 AM

My Life Mission, my Life Goal, is to make every day a little more surreal for everyone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 27 Apr 17 - 12:34 PM

Your Imperial Rapturousness,
that is the perfect cue
for Salvador Dali and his waxed moustache.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Apr 17 - 01:17 PM

I try to do it on a Dali basis. And, because of the persistence of memory, I try not to repeat myself. There is a manifest mystique about it, something that even a ride in a rainy taxi can't quite dispel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Apr 17 - 02:31 PM

Santiago El Grande. When I would go to the Beaverbrook Art Gallery in Fredericton, NB, I would always begin by sitting on the bench in the atrium and admiring/studying this painting by Sal. It's huge. It dwarfs mere mortals in more ways than one.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/new-brunswick/salvador-dali-other-paintings-return-to-beaverbrook-gallery-1.3045297

Beautiful gallery... hours and hours.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 17 - 10:03 AM

SONNET λ

When, in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featur'd like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on MOAB, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet BS remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

          --Bill Trudgecudgel, "Sonnet λ," The Collected Sonnets and Stuff. Stratfort-Nearby-Avonlady Job Printing, 1588.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Apr 17 - 11:30 AM

King Solomon's treasure
does not compare to
the amassed immortal treasure
of knowledge purchased by
the precious time
Rap spent in the library


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Apr 17 - 11:42 AM

When you wax poetic does this double as a good way to remove hair?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Apr 17 - 12:03 PM

It goes beyond waxing. It can substitute for nails on blackboard or the good ol water board or a panacea for the bored to get up and do something they normally abhorred.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Apr 17 - 02:17 PM

FRESH greenie beanies from Florida!!!!! $2.99 a pound but I got that beat because Sobeys had greenie beanies on sale for $1.99 a pound almost a month ago. I waited until they ran out (I knows the produce manager, see?) and got a rain cheque on accounta I am one smart shopper, eh? I knew the 'real good stuff' would be on the go before me 30 days were up. Got 2.5# of 'em. Got me a cabbage at 25% off through my weekly Air Miles offers. Got me a big bag of Russet spuds from the Saint John River Valley... mmmm-good. Got me an 8# Olymel smoked pork picnic shoulder for $1.49 a pound at the Real Atlantic Stupidstore. I have carrots from "The Valley" in NS in stock.

Tomorrow, I shall decree... LET'S GET FAT! Well, more fat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 17 - 08:30 PM

After much, much research in libraries all over Canada I was able to locate a photograph of our very own gnu in a Speedo. Yes, he was a little younger then, but nonetheless it's him! You can tell! Yes, the Speedo is a tad revealing, but....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Apr 17 - 08:42 PM

Revealing? Well, Mark Spitz might be jealous, but Michael Phelps . . . pardon me while I swoon for a few minutes. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Apr 17 - 06:48 PM

It dawns on me that since here on MOM's front porch and/or saggy-chaired living room sofa and love seat we've seen accounts of tons of surgeries and everything but Rap's x-rays, we've heard about gnu's tests and Amos's tooth travails, that I might drop in a note that isn't a broad-based announcement, but it answers questions I've had for months now and is the reason my garden is so late this year. (If it wasn't for the garden I wouldn't say anything.) PMR is the diagnosis I learned from early April, and it is a relief to have treatment after nearly a year of gradually increasing muscle pain. At least I know what to expect of the treatment; prior to this I didn't have a clue as to what was going on. I was assertive with my GP (whose tests were good, but showed nothing - the inflammation doesn't always show up), I did more research and asked to see a rheumatologist. After the "ah-ha" moment that something actually was wrong I knew what it was before I went in because I have a graduate degree and I work in a research library - I can Google Boolean keywords with the best of them. But I didn't tell the doctor what I thought it was, I made sure I described all of my symptoms precisely. And she confirmed my suspicions. Talk about the frog in the pot of hot water - it took me a long time to finally decide there was more than just aging happening.

I feel much better now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 17 - 08:46 PM

Since the treatment for PMR involves the use of corticosteroids you probably won't be eligible for the Olympics or other things like that. Try to take it in stride and know that there are others who are also not eligible for medical reasons.

Seriously, be careful with those steroids. You can feel great and really overdo, and prednisone can make it easier to tear a tendon. Don't let the possibilities stop you from taking medicine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Apr 17 - 10:44 PM

I am glad a proper diagnosis has been made and you can start to manage the problem(s). I wish you all the best with this. I'll stop before I get sappy. You take care of you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Apr 17 - 09:27 AM

Sappy be damned, good for you. An excellent patient and GP are often more open than specialists. Too many of us will dismiss real symptoms to aging. Even fewer of us have advanced research skills.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 Apr 17 - 05:01 PM

WAKE UP RAPPAREE

you have dibs, not on THIS post, but on a post really close after this one


Acme, good for you for getting yourself, frog legs and all, outta that pot of hot water.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 17 - 08:43 AM

Huh? Wha?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 17 - 08:45 AM

WHAT! MOM!!!!! You were less than twelve hours from falling!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 17 - 08:47 AM

Well, it's a good thing I awakened, that's all I've got to say! Saved MOM by the skin of her teeth.

Today the decking is supposed to be delivered.


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