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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 21 Sep 06 - 08:57 AM
Rapparee 21 Sep 06 - 09:19 AM
MMario 21 Sep 06 - 09:26 AM
Rapparee 21 Sep 06 - 09:36 AM
Amos 21 Sep 06 - 10:22 AM
Acme 21 Sep 06 - 12:42 PM
GUEST,i was there at the beginning of woman 21 Sep 06 - 12:52 PM
MMario 21 Sep 06 - 12:57 PM
Amos 21 Sep 06 - 01:08 PM
GUEST,I was there at the beginning man 21 Sep 06 - 03:54 PM
Acme 21 Sep 06 - 06:17 PM
Acme 21 Sep 06 - 06:22 PM
Amos 21 Sep 06 - 06:35 PM
Peace 21 Sep 06 - 07:12 PM
Peace 21 Sep 06 - 07:13 PM
Peace 21 Sep 06 - 07:17 PM
Amos 21 Sep 06 - 08:26 PM
Acme 21 Sep 06 - 09:16 PM
Peace 21 Sep 06 - 09:23 PM
Rapparee 21 Sep 06 - 09:51 PM
Bunnahabhain 22 Sep 06 - 08:24 AM
beardedbruce 22 Sep 06 - 09:41 AM
Amos 22 Sep 06 - 11:07 AM
Acme 22 Sep 06 - 11:15 AM
Amos 22 Sep 06 - 12:17 PM
Amos 22 Sep 06 - 04:16 PM
Amos 22 Sep 06 - 07:04 PM
Acme 23 Sep 06 - 12:43 AM
Amos 23 Sep 06 - 12:52 AM
Rapparee 23 Sep 06 - 09:54 PM
Acme 24 Sep 06 - 12:57 AM
Amos 24 Sep 06 - 01:33 AM
Charley Noble 24 Sep 06 - 10:41 AM
Amos 24 Sep 06 - 12:27 PM
Amos 24 Sep 06 - 02:05 PM
Amos 24 Sep 06 - 04:31 PM
Bunnahabhain 24 Sep 06 - 06:25 PM
Amos 24 Sep 06 - 06:43 PM
Rapparee 24 Sep 06 - 07:12 PM
Amos 24 Sep 06 - 07:16 PM
Rapparee 24 Sep 06 - 09:45 PM
Amos 24 Sep 06 - 09:57 PM
number 6 24 Sep 06 - 10:30 PM
Rapparee 24 Sep 06 - 11:12 PM
Amos 24 Sep 06 - 11:20 PM
number 6 24 Sep 06 - 11:36 PM
JennyO 25 Sep 06 - 12:01 AM
Rapparee 25 Sep 06 - 08:48 AM
Bunnahabhain 25 Sep 06 - 08:52 AM
Bunnahabhain 25 Sep 06 - 08:58 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 08:57 AM

I really, really wanted to use it as a vertically oriented spud gun but my wife was opposed to that, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 09:19 AM

Quarter pound block of C-4, several feet of detonating cord (Primacord), one blasting cap, more than a few meters of wire, a detonating machine or batteries, and a bunch of filled sandbags (the more the merrier).

Wrap det cord around base of pipe, leaving a foot or so trailing out. Mold C-4 plastic explosive over det cord, splaying it out onto the concrete base. Tape or otherwise affix cap to det cord. Cover base det cord and C-4 with sandbags.

Move a ways away. Use the detonating machine (so-called "plunger") or connect the batteries. Wait for debris to stop falling, neighbors to stop complaining, golfers to clean their pants up, and cops to leave. Put debris out for trash pickup or turn into a yard ornament.

ALTERNATE:

Snakehole under the pipe and concrete, insert explosives in snakehole, touch it off, and launch the pipe assemblage into orbit -- or someone else's yard. In either case, no longer my problem. Fill in resulting hole in back yard, repair lawn sprinklers, etc.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 09:26 AM

why not just borrow a classroom full of kindergarden students and tell them they are under no circumstance to move the pipe and concrete?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 09:36 AM

Or just have my 12 year old nephew come visit and say, "Betcha a dollar you can't get that pipe and concrete down!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 10:22 AM

Then the ram lamb sheep horns began to blow
Shaking all over the ground
Rapaire commanded the librarians to sing
And the wall came tumbling down, down
The wall came a-tumbling down.


(Here at Mudcat, we tear down walls the old-fashioned way -- we sing 'em to death!)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 12:42 PM

I will refer you back to the entertaining thread on "Rocket Science?" and Fergie's story in particular: Click here. Very funny, but also probably would work.

Rap, how close is this thing to the house? Will the Red Cross have to come out and find alternative housing for you while the insurance company rebuilds?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,i was there at the beginning of woman
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 12:52 PM

i can't believe there are over fourteen thousand posts here.
just came to see how that could be possible. I only read 5.
I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.

David Letterman used a tater tots gun on his show last night.
He is having guest ventriloquists all week on his tonight show.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 12:57 PM

You use a drop-in conditioner, 'TATBOW? I prefer a rinse-out one, myself.

yup - MOM has grown to over 14 thousand 1 hundred (and more!) posts - but we don't usually mention it to her - she's sensitive about gainng weight. BS shouldn't be too heavy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 01:08 PM

Well, Mom puts it out as well as putting it on. SOmetimes I think she's putting us all on!

Your other choice, Rapaire, is to hire a wrecking ball.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,I was there at the beginning man
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 03:54 PM

"What is this "GUEST,I was there at the beginning man" as a name? It isn't, it's a description. Same with that other one, who is "KB"?"
(Stilly River Sage)

Stilly River Sage I may be a description but I am a description with feelings and emotions (granted odd ones). So too has 'that other one' KB (not odd ones though) and she is clearly deflated after summoning up the courage to post here, as am I. This is not the "all are welcome" we were lead to expect from MOAB (MMario and Rapaire excepted). And this was followed by Amos' vile 'poster criteria' song!

I'll stick with a thread where even descriptions are welcome (and odd ones at that!). GOODBYE


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 06:17 PM

If you're new to a place, it's best to hang around (called "lurking") and read a while before jumping in and telling people how they should behave. That's pretty basic. I was protesting the arrival and disruption of our ongoing banter by someone virtually standing in the middle of the room and changing the subject by announcing they had arrived without a clue as to where they had arrived.

This kind of behavior can set off Gluon or the freds and then you're not only likely to lose Pluto, you're liable to have someone pack it up and carry it off or send it careening into the moon. So be careful where you step and take your time introducing yourself. That's not so difficult.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 06:22 PM

I suppose by having those other guys mingle here it would push our numbers up, thus slowing the count on that other thread. But who's counting, and anyway, the BS has to be of good quality. Maybe given a little time to reflect they'll find a suitable inspiration and return with a flourish.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 06:35 PM

Dang -- my guidelines WERE a little harsh, I guess, but, hey -- MOAB is not Easy Street, ya know? Ya gotta be able to stand up and state yer feelings plainly and with adequate humor. Surely that is not too much to ask!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 07:12 PM

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 07:13 PM

This is now my third post. Just stopped in to see how y'all are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 07:17 PM

And one more to keep your numbers up, because the 85 billion thread is starting to move.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 08:26 PM

Hahahaha--I see they are roaring up on three hundred fifteen!! Wowie Zowie!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 09:16 PM

Is there anything worth reading over there?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Peace
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 09:23 PM

Once you break the code, YES!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Sep 06 - 09:51 PM

ttuyn arnsx hvirw aebvi oeppx mvnce ggwsp xxxxx


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 08:24 AM

Translation: Please remove cat from keyboard, and try again.



Rapaire. Another trick I read about somewhere, using less explosives goes like this. Take lots of Det cord, put several dozen turns of it on the pipe, sandbag and detonate as below. Less likley to have air traffic control tracking bits of the house....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 09:41 AM

from thread.cfm?threadid=94882&messages=6


If this does not belong on MOAB, what does?


"Well I'm very glad you asked me that for at this point in time
In the circumstances that prevail there is in the pipeline
Infrastructural implications interfaced with lines of thought
Which lead to grass roots viabilities which at this time I'd rather not Annunciate in ambiguities but rather seek to find
Negotiated compromises which are the bottom line
For full and frank discussion which would serve to integrate
With basic fundamental principles to which we all relate
Not indoctrinaire philosophy which any fool can see
An inescapable hypothesis confronting you and me
So in the interest of the common good now you need never fear
For I've got the matter well in hand and I'm glad I've made things clear."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 11:07 AM

If I had wings, like a common thrush
I'd fly over DC and poop on George Bush
Fare thee well, oh, honey,
Fare thee well.

BB, that was wonderful. I have never seen broad political sentiment encapsulated so clearly in so many words.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 11:15 AM

Why do you assume that MOAB's BS is the equivalent of political prevarication? They aren't remotely related! Ours is good quality material, and what's more, it is fresh, none of this recycled patter!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 12:17 PM

Explosive Concrete Spalling

Bunker Busters

However I do not recommend using depleted uranium.

Or you could fill the thing with water, seal it and heat it until it blows.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 04:16 PM

Mom feels soooo tired. Every time she turns around Rapaire is getting in touch with his wild side and threatening the very foundations of civilization in our house. She's tried and tried to teach him to be a Good Boy, but he always forgets. She's worried what might become of him, and thinks perhaps he will have to leave town if this keeps up.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Sep 06 - 07:04 PM

But, ya knowm, we can forgive ole Rapaire; he's a lunkhead, but he's OUR lunkhead, and when we make him mad he can be fooled into doing the heavy lifting for Mom for three straight days.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Sep 06 - 12:43 AM

Does that mean you're going out of town for three days, Amos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Sep 06 - 12:52 AM

No, ma'am, I ain't leaving town. Mom tole me mebbe I should but I persuaded her it was okay and I would put things right with the girl's father.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Sep 06 - 09:54 PM


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 12:57 AM

Busy day, MOM, but I'm home and ready to hop in the shower. Kind of an exciting (not good) event this morning--after walking the dogs I found a tick on me--attached. Yuck! Now I'll keep an eye out for anything that might need to be treated because of it. It didn't get much blood, it wasn't there long, but it was attached and did leave a spot. I will be checking the dogs again in the morning, and I won't be walking through that field again any time soon! Not till after a hard freeze, maybe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 01:33 AM

Mom!!! Rapaire's posting in sign language again. Make him stop!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Charley Noble
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 10:41 AM

What time is it? Sir/Ma'am, I am deeply embarrassed and greatly humiliated but due to unforeseen circumstances over which I have no control, the inner workings and hidden mechanisms of my chronometer are in such inaccord with the great sidereal movement by which time is commonly reckoned that I cannot with any degree of accuracy state the exact time!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble, who is never on time!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 12:27 PM

Charly:

That's just 'cause you are being tangential. Stand straight and you will see it engraved in 10-point Times just over your head...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 02:05 PM

Half a post, half a post, half a post onward
Down to the edge of the page where the BS thunders,
Onward we galloped, where the page devils roam
Bound to save Mother, and bring her back home.
Then up to the saddle, and sharpen your wit
For we'll need every spark of your world-class bullshit
As downwards we stagger, through the wild breakers comb
To hoist up Auld Maw, and to bring her back home.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 04:31 PM

I see where the National Intell folks have finally come to the conclusion that waging war in Iraq actually caused more terrorism and bred more radicalism than would have happened without it. See, that's the difference between Quality BS and bad BS. Because Quality BS is self-aware, it does not have to be dramatized subconsciously and therefore makes the world better, not worse...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 06:25 PM

Self aware BS? I get the feeling this is something deeply worrying, even on the distorted scales of round here...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 06:43 PM

Ah, Bunn, DENYING the self-awareness of self-aware BS is just a way to spice things up. Where the trouble starts is when you believe the denial.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 07:12 PM


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 07:16 PM

I never thought Rapaire was a lazy bum. I never called him that. It wasn't part of the persona, ya know? Now, all of a sudden he is making these hysterical blank posts. I dunno. Could it be change of life for Book Man?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 09:45 PM

t


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 09:57 PM

Uh-huh. Sure, Rapaire. "t". Right-on, dude. You got it. "t" it is, mah man.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: number 6
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 10:30 PM

"Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe
All mimsy were the borogroves
and the mome raths outgrabe"

sIx


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 11:12 PM

ru


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 11:20 PM

Dear Mom:

I am concerned because Rapaire has gone Mongoloid on us. And SL6 has taken over the Unattributed Plagiaristic Posts Concession, starting with Lewis Carroll.

Can we have our air checked for radon or mold spores or somp'n? This is way too weird.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: number 6
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 11:36 PM

"He thought he saw an Albatross
That fluttered around the lamp
He looked again and found it was
A penny Postage stamp
"you'd best be getting home" he said
as the night is very damp"

and with that I will retire for the evening.

And Mom, I promise no more Lewis Carrol. Honestly.

sIx


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 12:01 AM

It sounds like Rapaire is suffering from a bad case of verbal constipation. Or maybe the 'cat's got his tongue.

C'mon, we're all pulling (pushing) for you - you can do it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 08:48 AM

mpe


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 08:52 AM

It could just be a very advanced case of sir jOhns problem, an almost complete keyboard failure. He's trying to say more, but the letters just aren't there.

Either that or Gluon is chasing the spare letters round Sagittariaus gamma ultra ( I'm not looking up ASCII for greek letters), and they'll turn up as a dribble of slightly chewed characters, scatterd back and forth across a number of years. The blank posts are just the spaces getting back first, as they're fastest.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 25 Sep 06 - 08:58 AM

I just realised what the sucession of slightly chewed characters are. They're us........


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