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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 18 Feb 07 - 10:07 PM
Acme 18 Feb 07 - 11:23 PM
GUEST,Stilly River Sage 19 Feb 07 - 01:07 PM
Amos 19 Feb 07 - 03:04 PM
Amos 19 Feb 07 - 05:29 PM
Acme 19 Feb 07 - 05:43 PM
Rapparee 19 Feb 07 - 09:18 PM
Rapparee 19 Feb 07 - 09:53 PM
Little Hawk 19 Feb 07 - 10:13 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 19 Feb 07 - 10:21 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Feb 07 - 10:54 PM
Acme 19 Feb 07 - 10:59 PM
Rapparee 20 Feb 07 - 09:11 AM
Amos 20 Feb 07 - 09:39 AM
Acme 20 Feb 07 - 10:00 AM
MMario 20 Feb 07 - 10:04 AM
Amos 20 Feb 07 - 10:06 AM
Acme 20 Feb 07 - 10:29 AM
Bunnahabhain 20 Feb 07 - 11:08 AM
Amos 20 Feb 07 - 01:26 PM
Rapparee 20 Feb 07 - 02:06 PM
Amos 20 Feb 07 - 02:36 PM
Rapparee 20 Feb 07 - 05:28 PM
Amos 20 Feb 07 - 06:27 PM
Rapparee 20 Feb 07 - 10:14 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Feb 07 - 10:51 PM
Amos 20 Feb 07 - 10:57 PM
Rapparee 21 Feb 07 - 08:04 AM
Bunnahabhain 21 Feb 07 - 08:33 AM
Amos 21 Feb 07 - 09:43 AM
Rapparee 21 Feb 07 - 12:12 PM
MMario 21 Feb 07 - 12:15 PM
Amos 21 Feb 07 - 12:55 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Feb 07 - 01:25 PM
MMario 21 Feb 07 - 01:26 PM
Rapparee 21 Feb 07 - 04:48 PM
Amos 21 Feb 07 - 07:16 PM
Little Hawk 21 Feb 07 - 07:20 PM
Amos 21 Feb 07 - 08:15 PM
Acme 21 Feb 07 - 08:51 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Feb 07 - 09:15 PM
Rapparee 21 Feb 07 - 09:36 PM
Little Hawk 22 Feb 07 - 12:08 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Feb 07 - 01:22 AM
Donuel 22 Feb 07 - 02:37 AM
Liz the Squeak 22 Feb 07 - 03:24 AM
Amos 22 Feb 07 - 08:41 AM
MMario 22 Feb 07 - 08:41 AM
Rapparee 22 Feb 07 - 08:46 AM
MMario 22 Feb 07 - 08:49 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Feb 07 - 10:07 PM

Well, it meets SOME of his qualifications. He does raise interesting questions. Probably a survival mechanism...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Feb 07 - 11:23 PM

Once he meets Pat in SLC she'll see the problem and get his blood sugar and calcium levels back in line again. He'll be fine (maybe a little embarrassed to find he's been spouting off like one of the characters on one of Mr. Shat's Star Trek planets).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 01:07 PM

It's a gorgeous day, Mom! Too bad I don't get a holiday today like the post office and banks, but with good weather at least I'm just a bit displeased, not miserable.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 03:04 PM

The siubtelties of human emotional comparisons are surely one thing computers will never master!! :D

Mom, come back up the page with me. Give me your hand. There ya go. It is raining, Mom, and one of my oldest friends has taken off for the Great Beyond. So I am a bit bemused.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 05:29 PM

Mom, don't go down into the cellar anymore, okay?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 05:43 PM

I couldn't get my post to stick earlier, I had to enter with another browser and sign in as a guest to give her the boost she needed. The 'cat does seem a bit touchy today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 09:18 PM

Touchy? Touchy? You don't know touchy! Touchy is going to Wild Oats and buying some great stuff and then to two (2) bookstores and buying some great stuff and then, when heading home, having the sidewall of your left rear tire blow out. On I-15. Which is always a mob scene in SLC metro area. Me, touchy?

Of course, it all turned out for the best. Of course. AAA changed the tire, one of the dealers was only a couple exits away, they put on a used tire which got us home, and tomorrow Pat will deal with the tire store, God help them.

Yes! I'm back and I'm bad! I'd show ya all how bad 'cept I was twirling one of my .44s and it went off and I put a bullet right smack inta the north wall. Gotta work on my twirl, I guess.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 09:53 PM

And one of the books is entitled Pete Seeger's Storytelling Book by some guy named, of all things, Pete Seeger. Bearded fella....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 10:13 PM

Godzilla has had worse days than that, Rapaire, and does he get touchy? Well???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 10:21 PM

You ain't flippin' SEEN TOUCHY YET, Rap-man! I will flippin' find you and when I do...it's lights OUT. You are goin' DOWN, MOTHERFLIPPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 10:54 PM

Jesus H. Christ! I come over here to tell Mom something and the whole place stinks like Shane McBride! Dude! Take a fuckin' shower! Invest in some deodorant!

Hell, I can't even remember what I was gonna say now. Screw it! I don't think I can handle the stench much longer anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Feb 07 - 10:59 PM

Shane, your hair matches that old red carpet in Rapaire's basement. Didn't you get all of the raspberry jam out of it yet? Gluon will help.

Gluon. . . .her girl. . . Gluon. . .

SLURP!!!

Now, doesn't THAT feel better! Naw, don't worry. Your hearing will come back and your vision was probably that blurry to begin with. Honest.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 09:11 AM

Shane won't come 'round for several reasons. First of all is Gluon. Gluon is keeping an eye out for him and Gluon is the kind of dog folks like S. McBridge fear most: they'll knock you to the floor and lick you clean.

Secondly, Shane is only vaguely aware (I'll continue, but I don't have to do so) of where Idaho is. To be more precise, Shane is only vaguely aware of where Shane is. He gets lost inside a sleeping bag.

Thirdly, Shane knows that I bite boulders in two, that I can outfight, outshoot, and outdrink any ten of him. He knows that I eat dynamite and spit pure nitroglycerin. He knows that I use hydrofluoric acid as a chaser to my drinks of sulfuric acid. He knows that I eat Rocky Mountain Oysters for breakfast and that I season them with potassium cyanide. He knows that the last time a guy tried to shoot me I caught the bullets in my teeth and spit them back, writing "Go Home To Yer Momma" on the side of the guy's armored car in bullet holes.

Lastly, he knows that I'm just a wimpy librarian when compared to some of the REAL women and men out here in Idaho. He knows our secret and it frightens him so much that he spends him time curled up in a little hole, sucking a bottle of Budweiser and wetting his pants from fright, the yellow blankie with the teddy bears pulled up over his head.

And here's our secret, the one that causes Shane McBride to soak his Depends because of fright: out here in Idaho, we bathe. Regularly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 09:39 AM

I have asked Gluon what he thinks Shane's problem is. Being Gluon, he replied it is all relative. So now, I want the truth. Which one of youse guys is related to that hoser, eh?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 10:00 AM

I want to sit in on children's story hour at the Marshall Public Library on the day when Rap does the reading.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 10:04 AM

Now, Stilly - I've been told he does an excellent dramatization of "Why Pecos Bill wasn't allowed to Join the Idaho Legion; and other tales of wimps not from Idaho"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 10:06 AM

For purposes of debate, I hypothetically aver that association with the evanescent effluvium of hyper-space potentialities and counter-probabilities known as Gluon-the-duck-dog, if extended overlong, can bring about massive Delusions of Grandeur, Creeping Creep Megalomania, Terminal Narcissism, and Pathological Solipsistic Revery on the part of the associate so exposed.

Discuss.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 10:29 AM

In the context of children's story hour?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 11:08 AM

This week, he's reading Peter Pan, translated into old English. He'll be up for a Rory for the most gratuitous use of the letter Yog against innocent people...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 01:26 PM

Better than using the letters W, M, and D to sponsor an episode of ben-Sesame Street. :)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 02:06 PM

Watchoo got agin the letters "M" and "D", boy? You want I should come down there and teach you about "M" and "D"? Them's my initials. I don't go 'round saying things like, "Well, better than the letter A and J" (even though those are my nephew-the-geek's first two initials).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 02:36 PM

"This episode of Ben-Sesame street with all its wonderful orange and yellow explosions and its bright red blood is brought to you by the fictitious letters W, M and D, Ensh'alla! and, thanks be to God, the number 3,651! And remember, kids, don't thank me, thank Allah!! So long from ben-Kermit, Tally Boid, and Miss Beefy. S'allam'aleikum!!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 05:28 PM

Ev'rybody's building the big ships and the boats,
Some are building monuments,
Others, jotting down notes,
Ev'rybody's in despair,
Ev'ry girl and boy
But when Rapaire done gets here,
Ev'rybody's gonna jump for joy.
Come all without, come all within,
You'll not see nothing like that mighty man....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 06:27 PM

Jeeze, is he ever gonna get his meds right?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 10:14 PM

                              Sophisticated people are friends of mine, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 10:51 PM

In response to a series of threats of violent action from the animal rights group PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), physics departments at major universities throughout North America and Europe have agreed to stop teaching the well-known quantum physics thought experiment known as "Schrödinger's Cat". It will be replaced by a more animal-friendly experiment such as "Schrödinger's Eggplant" or, possibly, "Schrödinger's Mung Bean Sprouts".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Feb 07 - 10:57 PM

I take it that last figure is you, offering gestures of friendship into the air?


As for Schrodinger's Aubergine, I am convinced it will fundamentally undermine the entire field of quantum mechanics, by subtly corroding the deep assumptions behind the uncertainty paradigm. I will not be surprised, once this viral meme spreads its toxins about a bit, to hear that string theory has become The Grand Unified Theory of Spaghetti-Os.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 08:04 AM

Wouldn't the Grand Unified Theory of Spaghettios be an example of circular reasoning? And wouldn't Gluon simply eat them?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 08:33 AM

Well, if he does try to eat them, we'll end up with a slightly bitty theory of slightly battered and very tangled stringy type thing, which although losing it's snappy title, is probably more accurate....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 09:43 AM

These are not ordinary Spaghetti-O's, Rapaire. They are the sort of thing only a cosmic mathematician could dream up after overeating. In essence they are a locus of high improbability surrounded by a series of Eigen-vector points defining a series of higher probabilities, whose form is maintained by the credibility-tensions formed between the center and the perimeter. The radius represents a gradient of unlikelihood, which also implies the centers are not likely very good. I suspect Gluon's tastes have become too refined for such scraps, yet they may prove to be the core to understanding n-dimensional space and its proclivity for spawning unnecesarily complex universes. For example, there's one around "here", somewhere, which is ridiculous.

It even has its own self-styled Spaghetti-O monster.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 12:12 PM

Then how do you explain that the average translational kinetic energy possessed by free particles given by equipartition of energy?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 12:15 PM

that the average translational kinetic energy possessed by free particles given by equipartition of energy what?

This doesn't appear to be a complete thought - even for a question.

Or is Gluon chasing Schrodinger's aubergine again?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 12:55 PM

Actually, Gluon got lured into a Dianetics storefront and was given a free personality test. The results were very depressing to him -- his traits on EVERY SINGLE CHARACTERISTIC the test measured were ambiguous. IMagine! QUARK!

As a result, he spent several hours in uncertain misery, made a whole series of life-changing ambivalent decisions or not, and ended up running off to the Papaya Islands with Schrodinger's aubergine, which quite pissed the old man off. It is not that aubergines are prohibitvely expensive, but he'd had a lot of timespace invested in gettingthis one trained up/down/sideways. But really it serves Schrodinger right...after all, as ye reap, so ye shall so what, and all that. I think....

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 01:25 PM

The aubergine has been saved! The physicists have decided to replace Schrödinger's cat with William Shatner!

Yes, "Schrödinger's Cat" will become "Schrödinger's Shat"!

Now we just have to convince them to never open the box!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 01:26 PM

NONONONO! we want them to open the box as often as possible - sooner or later we have to get lucky and he will be dead!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 04:48 PM

Are vampire and zombies, the Undead, simply those who are in an unopened Schroedinger's box?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 07:16 PM

There are no zombies in his box, Rapaire. Just the cat that became an aubergine. A good name for yet another book to add to your towering stacks.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 07:20 PM

I certainly hope, Rapaire, that you have at least one copy of "Get A Life!" in your library.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 08:15 PM

ANother good title for a book: "Get a Life, Aubergine!". Plus, "Get An Aubergine!" amd "Son of Aubergine". And, "For Whom the Aubergine Tolls", "The Bells of Aubergine" and "The Old Aubergine and the Sea".

See what I mean? This irresponsible decision by scientists has undermined our whole cultural paradigm and riddled it with holes which are being filled by a slowly expanding Meme of Aubergine...a good title for a book, by the way. Quantum uncertainties are torquing our entire memetic Eigenstate out of whack!!!! Gahhhhh!! Aubergine!!





A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 08:51 PM

I'll be there with l'aubergine on just doesn't have the right, er, ring to it, does it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 09:15 PM

Did you know that aubergine leaves are the Japanese Potato Beetle's favorite food? Japanese Potato Beetles will feed on the leaves of any plant in the nightshade family (tomatoes, peppers, potatoes, eggplant) but they'll always hit the eggplant first. Some gardeners plant a few aubergines as a "trap crop", even if they don't like to eat 'em. Just check the plants every day and if they're being chewed on you can pick the 'taterbugs off and squash 'em before they start eatin' anything else.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Feb 07 - 09:36 PM

Heard here in the Old West:

Marshal! Black Bart has done shot the Sheriff in the aubergine!

Aubergine, bartender! And set 'em up for the house!

The aubergines pass slowly by, Lorena,
The dew is on the leaves again....

...a cloud of dust and a hearty, "Hiho, Aubergine!"....

Well, Miss Mary, I think you're about as purty as a brand-new aubergine....

Oh give me a home
Where the aubergines roam....

Don't go out there, Marshal! Ringo's got a sawed-off aubergine!

Hey, Slim! Sing "Little Joe the Aubergine", would ya?

If you kin break him he's yers, but them wild aubergines are tough critters.

Colonel Custer! Colonel Custer! We're nearly out of aubergines!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Feb 07 - 12:08 AM

Could someone PM me when the aubergine thing has run its course?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Feb 07 - 01:22 AM

Oh my darlin', Oh my darlin'
Oh my darlin' Aubergine
You're the hue of torpid liver
That's saute'd in kerosene


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 22 Feb 07 - 02:37 AM

I have a Schodingers cat litter box.
It kills oders dead, sometimes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 22 Feb 07 - 03:24 AM

16300!!

Whoo hooo!

LTS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Feb 07 - 08:41 AM

Why we're becoming a veritable NEST of improbabilities here, aren't we? It's the credibility gradient I mentioned before -- it is becomig bolloxed up by the shift of key paradigmatic premises and is reallu aubergining up the normal patterns of time so they start going hay-wire on us.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Feb 07 - 08:41 AM

There'll be aubergines over the white ckiffs of Dover
when we come marching home to you....


"When the aubergines return to Capistrano"

"May the Aubergine of Happiness fly in your window"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Feb 07 - 08:46 AM

The ceiling of my Library (both floors) is painted aubergine.

Really.

It's awful.

Any assistance in correcting this would be appreciated.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 22 Feb 07 - 08:49 AM

why would they do that? Doesn't it suck up light something awful? I mean, the colour aubergine sucks light the way eggplants suck up oil when you cook them.


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