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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 27 Nov 07 - 09:51 AM
Amos 27 Nov 07 - 12:17 PM
Amos 27 Nov 07 - 02:19 PM
Little Hawk 27 Nov 07 - 02:26 PM
Amos 27 Nov 07 - 02:42 PM
Acme 27 Nov 07 - 03:21 PM
Rapparee 27 Nov 07 - 03:28 PM
Amos 27 Nov 07 - 03:41 PM
Rapparee 27 Nov 07 - 05:22 PM
Amos 27 Nov 07 - 08:07 PM
Rapparee 27 Nov 07 - 08:48 PM
Amos 27 Nov 07 - 10:12 PM
Amos 27 Nov 07 - 10:23 PM
Little Hawk 27 Nov 07 - 10:31 PM
Rapparee 27 Nov 07 - 10:39 PM
Rapparee 28 Nov 07 - 08:58 AM
MMario 28 Nov 07 - 09:00 AM
Rapparee 28 Nov 07 - 09:11 AM
Little Hawk 28 Nov 07 - 10:13 AM
MMario 28 Nov 07 - 10:17 AM
Acme 28 Nov 07 - 10:52 AM
Rapparee 28 Nov 07 - 11:51 AM
Amos 28 Nov 07 - 11:52 AM
Little Hawk 28 Nov 07 - 12:16 PM
MMario 28 Nov 07 - 12:17 PM
Little Hawk 28 Nov 07 - 12:18 PM
Amos 28 Nov 07 - 12:19 PM
Amos 28 Nov 07 - 12:19 PM
Little Hawk 28 Nov 07 - 12:29 PM
Amos 28 Nov 07 - 01:11 PM
Amos 28 Nov 07 - 02:56 PM
Amos 28 Nov 07 - 02:57 PM
Rapparee 28 Nov 07 - 03:10 PM
MMario 28 Nov 07 - 03:23 PM
Amos 28 Nov 07 - 03:27 PM
Little Hawk 28 Nov 07 - 03:44 PM
Rapparee 28 Nov 07 - 07:57 PM
Amos 28 Nov 07 - 08:00 PM
Rapparee 28 Nov 07 - 08:42 PM
Amos 28 Nov 07 - 10:49 PM
Rapparee 28 Nov 07 - 10:56 PM
Amos 28 Nov 07 - 11:56 PM
Acme 28 Nov 07 - 11:57 PM
Janie 29 Nov 07 - 12:49 AM
Amos 29 Nov 07 - 02:44 AM
Rapparee 29 Nov 07 - 09:52 AM
Amos 29 Nov 07 - 09:56 AM
MMario 29 Nov 07 - 10:07 AM
Amos 29 Nov 07 - 10:22 AM
MMario 29 Nov 07 - 10:36 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 09:51 AM

Well, in a way it is comforting to see you are maintaining the scale and range of your endeavours. When people in public talk like that book, they get rounded up by social services, you know, and put on meds.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 12:17 PM

But from another point of view, I can only repeat the oft-voiced sentiment:

Ie-Fay, Ie-Fay, Apair-Ray. Ogay Otay, Arletvay!




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 02:19 PM

Or, to put it yet another way,

Alop-say Ochon-cay! Ourdrez-Fay Oi-may leway Aix-Pay!! A-tay Oeur-say Isse-pay Eue-Blay!!




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 02:26 PM

They tried putting me on meds. The fools! It had no effect whatsoever.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 02:42 PM

YEah, I hear that's what Rush Limbaugh was saying right up to the end, too...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 03:21 PM

They're doing carpentry and caulking around the house today, MOM. It isn't as noisy as before, but it is a distraction. Be sure to watch where you're stepping.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 03:28 PM

But I am, you know. I am very much so. And without doubt I am the finest specimen and would be eminently collectible, extraordinarily valuable.

As for the other thing, I haven't any idea who took it. Amos may, however.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 03:41 PM

I can only infer that you style yourself a Most Collectible Varlet, Rapaire. If so, I commend you on your collectibility and hope that some distant traveler collects you in the near future. And congratulations on discovering your Inner Varlet nature, and your MCV status.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 05:22 PM

No, it was over on the left side. Under the dresser.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 08:07 PM

Well -- if you say so, arlet-vay. That's not where it was when I knicked saw it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 08:48 PM

Dear Mom,

I received an award today. So did the Library. Same one.

"In recognition of your devoted contribution and outstanding service to the making of the 2007 Field of Heroes...."

The FoH is a project of the various local veterans' service organizations. A white cross, with a name, rank and date of death, is placed in cemetery order for everyone killed in Afghanistan and Iraq. It makes quite a show, and brings the casualties home with a gut punch.

Pocatello is the only city in the US that does this on this scale.

So, the vets' groups wanted to film it -- the Library of Congress had asked them for a video of it.

I said that the Library would pay $500.00 for one of the videos. That was the opening bid and enough was raised to do the videotaping. Unfortunately, there isn't enough to do more than to make the rough cut DVD of 15 minutes. More money (about $5,000) is needed.

I think that they gave me the award because the Library has the center for finding grants and they want me to find the five grand.

Kinda neat though, getting an award.

Just thought I'd let you know, Mom.

The next award will be a Grammy.

Your wonder boy,
R


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 10:12 PM

Congratulations, Rapaire. I am sure all the sibs join me in saying no-one deserves an award of this kind more than you do. You brown-nose.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 10:23 PM

Just the thing the bark to leaven:
Twenty, seven, six and seven!!
Such a number fair should pinch
Rapaire's urge to be a Grinch!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 10:31 PM

Fools rush in where angels doubt,
To match the foe with hasty clout,
No need then to hesitate,
Two-oh-seven, six and eight!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 07 - 10:39 PM

And sixty-nine
It feels so fine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 08:58 AM

Ah, well, sorry Mom. I'm afraid that I imbibed a little of that "special" egg nog of yours. The stuff you keep in the 'fridge behind the leftover turnip-bone marrow casserole. Got a little giddy from it, I guess. It was a big day yesterday, what with three meetings and dropping off the form for the colonoscopy and getting a award and all. I really didn't mean drink some of your egg nog. I mean, there it was, sitting there at the very back of the shelf behind the casserole and the eggplant fritters and the marinated squid tentacles and those "potatoes" Amos dug up in the cemetery back in early March, and I just thought it was regular milk I could have with my cookies before I went to bed, you know? Anyway, I slept well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 09:00 AM

MOM has leftover turnip-bone marrow casserole? Do you know how expensive turnip bones are? they are as rare as hen's teeth! Someone better eat it before it gets wasted.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 09:11 AM

Yes, and there's a lot of it too. Just look on the bottom shelf of the fridge, way in the back. It was pretty good, except for the hen's teeth in it which gave it a sort of gritty texture. And between you and me I think she put in too much strawberry jelly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 10:13 AM

One hen's tooth more or less is the difference between a gastronomic masterpiece and an unremarkable meal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 10:17 AM

Exactly, LH! That's why the greatest food critics rate dishes by HTU (Hen's Teeth Units).

McDonald Burgers rate at something like 125.6 NEGATIVE HTU.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 10:52 AM

Would hen's teeth improve the turkey soup I'm planning to make for dinner this evening? Throw a few in with the egg noodles?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 11:51 AM

Hen's teeth will improve ANYTHING. I once made a family speciality, creamed tuna on mashed potatoes and that was when I learned to drain the oil off the tuna before using it for anything. But I sprinkled some hen's teeth on it and it tasted like a wonderful chateaubriand with bernaise sauce.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 11:52 AM

No question. But it would raise the cost of productionto something like $3500 per serving.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 12:16 PM

Well worth it for the true gourmand, I should think.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 12:17 PM

Not so, the gourmand usually cares more for the quantity then the quality.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 12:18 PM

Speaking of which, has anyone else seen "Ratatouille"? It's a simply wonderful movie! I would not have thought such a charming movie could be made about a rat. I would give it 10 out of 10 stars. It is the rare thing, a perfect movie...about the rare thing, a perfect chef.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 12:19 PM

Now to something TRULY weighty!
20, seven hundred eighty!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 12:19 PM

Blast you, little Hawk!! Ruined a perfectly good number!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 12:29 PM

Sorry about that, old chap. It was inadvertent, I assure you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 01:11 PM

Well, as Steven Colbert said to Willie Nelson, "I accept your apology!".

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 02:56 PM

Let us be glad to be alive,
With 20, eight and seventy five.

At such joy we should not balk,
Unless deterred by Little Hawk!

;>)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 02:57 PM

That of courese should read "Twenty, seven, eighty-five".

Solly.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 03:10 PM

"Hawk" and "balk" rhyme?? Who do you think you are, George Gordon? If you have been cohabitating with muse and you have had couplets I think that they have a genetic defect.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 03:23 PM

baulk and hock surely rhyme in someone's accent, don't they? Or maybe not!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 03:27 PM

Rapaire:

Within the spectrum of mainstream American English intonations, they can easily be found to rhyme. Thus, you are a provincial babbit, or a curmudgeonly grinch, or perhaps merely an over-extended arlet-vay, for saying such things.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 03:44 PM

I like "provincial babbit" the best! LOL!

Are you going to stand for that, Rapaire? Do what Shane would do in such a situation. Defend your honor against this slight, even though it cost you your life and all that you hold dear!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 07:57 PM

What are you trying to do, LH? Get me killed or worse? Amos is, like, BIG Amos. He RUNS everything from the Mexican Border north all the way to somewhere around, oh, Fresno. He could put out a contract to have me whacked and I'd be dead or something within a few years or more.

Man, you don't mess with Big Amos!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 08:00 PM

Oh, gawdammit!! Now my secret is out on this thread. I'll have to change my gawdamn name or sompn. You have no idea WHO reads this thread. CIA, FBI, Legionairres, Spaw's possum and the flatulent Rick brothers... it's just too risky.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 08:42 PM

Yeah, well, you know how it goes. One day you're Mr. Big and the next day.... Reminds me of The Sarge over at the Legion Hovel. Never had any other name anyone knew, just The Sarge. Stood about six-eight in his stocking feet and used to make a living bending two-inch rebar with his bare hands for construction companies. Well, one day he'd drunk a couple of kegs and decided to do a little target practice at the Legion's Shooting Range.

So he pulled out his shootin' iron, which in this case was a sawed-off 105mm howitzer mounted on a Smith and Wesson pistol frame. And he fired off the first round and it kicked itself right out of his hand! This had never happened to The Sarge before and he figgered he was losing his touch. Tore him up inside real bad. He put up his shootin' iron and never touched it again. Said that a man who couldn't handle his firearms didn't have much left to live for. He drank another couple of kegs and joined the local monastery, the Abbey of Saints Dismas and Mary Magdalene and devoted the rest of his life to Good Works and self-flagellation, in that order. After a couple of years he'd shrunk down to four-foot three inches and had a hard time ripped the toilet paper off the roll.

So it just goes to show.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 10:49 PM

My iron, sir, is in fine nettle and does what I wish. Thank you. Yes, fine fettle, for an iron of its graceful years, burnished with the fine usage of Time, but my hand and eye are as quick as ever.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 10:56 PM

Is this your 3 iron or your 7 iron?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 11:56 PM

My shootin' iron, Pilgrim.

Sheesh.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Nov 07 - 11:57 PM

"provincial babbit?" Babbitt: a metal alloy of tin, copper, and antimony. "Provincial?"

Surely you're not referring to my old pal George F. Babbitt?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 29 Nov 07 - 12:49 AM

We interrupt this program for some real BS.

About 4 weeks ago I was the hittee in an extremely minor hit-and-run accident. I wouldn't have stood in the rain for 90 minutes waiting for the cops to come if I hadn't been so pissed off.    But i did, so a police report was filed. It is just one more scrape on my old, beat-up car, so I'm not even going to file an insurance claim.

However, it apparently has made it to the public record now. Over the past two days my mailbox has been inundated with 17 solicitations from law firms to file personal injury suits.

Only one offer from a chiropractor, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Nov 07 - 02:44 AM

Well, he does ge extremely antimonious when he acts up, but it was Babbitt I meant, not babbit.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 07 - 09:52 AM

Mah shootin' iron is bigger'n your'n, Californio.

An' ah kin shoot straighter, too, cuz I'm a straight-shootin' Legionaire who sticks to The Code Of The West like Gene Autry and Roy Rogers and Tom Mix and Hopalong Cassidy taught us to.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Nov 07 - 09:56 AM

All hot air. A simple question will reveal the truth: which of us, honestly now, is more West, you or me?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 Nov 07 - 10:07 AM

That would be Rapaire - since you would have to go almost 360 degrees west from you to reach him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Nov 07 - 10:22 AM

If you did that, sirrah, you would cross the 0th parallel and end up as East as could be. Only if his thinking were completely backwards would he try to reach me by traveling East... not to rule anything out, of course ... It hazard your many time-warp trips have strained your orientation. Or you have left your head, inverted, somewhere dark in your travels. That might account for it...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 Nov 07 - 10:36 AM

crossing the Zeroth not withstanding - one would still be traveling west to reach rapaire from you - and as said before, nearly 360 degrees west of you. But you are only a few degrees west of Rapaire - therefore he is more west.

it's like the election in the Emerald City of Oz.


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