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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 25 Apr 04 - 10:45 PM
Amos 25 Apr 04 - 11:07 PM
Little Hawk 25 Apr 04 - 11:15 PM
Rustic Rebel 26 Apr 04 - 02:12 AM
42 26 Apr 04 - 07:22 AM
Rapparee 26 Apr 04 - 09:17 AM
GUEST,Don the Man 26 Apr 04 - 09:55 AM
Amos 26 Apr 04 - 09:59 AM
GUEST 26 Apr 04 - 10:01 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Apr 04 - 04:29 PM
Amos 26 Apr 04 - 04:37 PM
Little Hawk 26 Apr 04 - 04:41 PM
Rapparee 27 Apr 04 - 12:15 AM
CarolC 27 Apr 04 - 12:25 AM
Rustic Rebel 27 Apr 04 - 03:34 AM
Rapparee 27 Apr 04 - 09:42 AM
Amos 27 Apr 04 - 11:31 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Apr 04 - 02:19 PM
GUEST,Mrs. Bee 27 Apr 04 - 02:28 PM
Rapparee 27 Apr 04 - 02:40 PM
Kampervan 27 Apr 04 - 02:49 PM
GUEST,MMario 27 Apr 04 - 03:00 PM
Little Hawk 27 Apr 04 - 03:11 PM
Rustic Rebel 27 Apr 04 - 03:42 PM
Kampervan 27 Apr 04 - 04:00 PM
42 28 Apr 04 - 06:20 AM
Little Hawk 28 Apr 04 - 07:53 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Apr 04 - 12:18 PM
Rapparee 28 Apr 04 - 03:21 PM
Amos 28 Apr 04 - 04:05 PM
Rapparee 28 Apr 04 - 05:16 PM
Amos 28 Apr 04 - 08:46 PM
CarolC 28 Apr 04 - 10:23 PM
Rapparee 28 Apr 04 - 11:08 PM
Amos 28 Apr 04 - 11:23 PM
Acme 28 Apr 04 - 11:43 PM
Amos 28 Apr 04 - 11:51 PM
CarolC 29 Apr 04 - 12:01 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 29 Apr 04 - 01:14 AM
Rapparee 29 Apr 04 - 09:40 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 29 Apr 04 - 10:42 AM
GUEST,MMario 29 Apr 04 - 10:46 AM
Little Hawk 29 Apr 04 - 11:17 AM
Amos 29 Apr 04 - 11:24 AM
GUEST 29 Apr 04 - 11:30 AM
Rapparee 29 Apr 04 - 11:40 AM
Amos 29 Apr 04 - 11:51 AM
Rapparee 29 Apr 04 - 11:59 AM
CarolC 29 Apr 04 - 12:03 PM
Amos 29 Apr 04 - 12:04 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 10:45 PM

2800 posts, and Shatner still rules. Ain't it wonderful?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 11:07 PM

No, LH, he does not. Your confusion
Between real ruling, and delusion
Is sad, and makes one shake one's 'ead
And hope you find a private bed
Wherein to weave imagination
Into sad Shatneroid fixation!
At least, while you dear madness keep
You have a chance to get some sleep!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 11:15 PM

Is it just you and me here or what? :-) How goes it with the crop circles?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 02:12 AM

Kampervan
Yes I do happen to drive one of those. It's a custom 1980, red carpet on the ceiling, fold out styrofoam (sp?) bed, with red curtains that enfold the entire entirety of the van. Aw-ha. I know what them kampervans are all about.
Hippy floating, love machines.
Ford made, driven hard, get it on and eat some lard.
Gas drinkin',
make you thinkin'
your a rich slobivalian
riden' with an alien...
vehicle of means.
Aw-Ha.

Amos..TWENTY EIGHT HUNNERT! How can you justify beating William Shatner to the TWENTY EIGHT HUNNERT? He must not have know how to spell TWENTY EIGHT HUNNERT.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: 42
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 07:22 AM

He IS William Shatner...just using a pseudonym.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 09:17 AM

The sadness. Throughout Idaho, sorrow. An entire State, over a million people (some of whom are even living in clumps called "cities") are mourning today.

For BDiBR didn't come visit our library, nekkid as a jaybird. Instead, Kampervan cricized the language of the MOABites. Using the linguistic skills acquired in a graduate course in linguistics (where else would you learn this sort of thing?), I treed K's comments so that I could determine what the actual message was -- without success. I next used an old linguistics trick and translated the comments to Antique Middle Dutch, AMD to pre-Viking Icelandic, and the result to contemporary Tagalog. Eureka! the result was one word! That word is "tolong" which when translated from Tagalog to English means "Help."

Thus, Kampervan's post was (and is) a plea for help. Exactly what sort of help is being requested and whether or not this plea comes from Kampervan is still being researched. The problem has been referred to the Idaho National English and Everything Linguistic Laboratory (INEEL), where the resultant word ("Tolong") will be rendered into ASCII and then to hexadecimal and run through INEEL's supercolliding supercomputer for numeric analysis, comparing the hexadecimal results with the same results from octal, binary, and other mathematical bases. The results will be presented here later in tabular format, assuming that the grant money holds out.

Being a shy and unassuming kid from the Great Middlewest, there is no need to nominate me for a Nobel Prize. No, really. Aw, shucks, go ahead then, since you insist.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Don the Man
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 09:55 AM

He would of come to your liberry in Idaho, man... but he got attrested first in Blind River. Too bad. I am gonna take Idiot-boy his clothes today. I am carrying them on the end of a long stick. They reek!!! I hope the cops let me in with them. I have hid a beer and 2 joints in his boots so he dont get depressed too much in that jail cell.

Don the Man (Shane's Big Brother)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 09:59 AM

Now, Rap, don't let them twist your neck like that.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 10:01 AM

hey bubba-bubba! is they puppies yet?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 04:29 PM

I have returned safely from the wilderness of Atlanta and have disturbing news. The entire city has been taken over by Klingons!

The art show that we were in (The Inman Park Festival) has an alternative parade as part of its festivities. There were numerous organizations represented, like the gardening club which calls itself "The Dirt Digging Dykes of Decatur", "The Heterosexual Whippet Owners' Club" (membership = two), "The Inman Park Precision Attache' Case and Umbrella Drill Team" and "Tattooed Men in Skirts".

Well, there were about fifty Klingons in the parade calling themselves "The Klingon Attack Group" ("KAG" for short). They were obviously trying to pass themselves off as humans pretending to be Klingons, but some of us aren't so easily fooled. We know they were real Klingons and that they will soon be all over the place!

Oh! Who can save the Earth from total Klingon domination?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 04:37 PM

No big deal, BWL -- just tell Bubba they are a new stage of development in the life cycle of Khandu, and he'll rip their throats out!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Apr 04 - 04:41 PM

Here HE comes to save the day!!!! (No, it's not Mighty Mouse...)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 12:15 AM

Why, thank you, LH. But modesty forbids me, etc.

Hot damn, I wasn't empanelled for jury duty! Off the hook 'til Thursday, and if I don't get empanelled Friday, they can't call me agin fer at least two years. (Just as well, too -- it was a nasty, nasty criminal case).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 12:25 AM

No "Dykes on Bikes" there Bee-dubya-ell? We know some people who have seen people who ride with them. We've seen Klingons in Hotlanta, too. As well as other trekkie types. It's a strange place. Elton John lives there part of the time, in his boyfriend's penthouse condo (in Buckhead, I heard).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 03:34 AM

So where the hell is the comet?
Oh Cling-on-type-that-can't quite-relate-to-reality-therefore-clinging-on-to-anything-that-will-make-an-impression-or-else-make-you-a-pussy-spiecies-that-just-likes-to-cling-on,
Where the hell is the comet?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 09:42 AM

Here ya go, RR. And here.   And over here.   Over here's a past blast.   Annnnnnnd...here's another one.

That's actually three comets currently careening crazily close to the Inner Planets (Hale-Bopp left some time ago). I warned everyone of this quite some time ago, but nobody listened. Thank God that, like Jerry Falwell, I have stored up food and ammunition, 'cause The Rupture's comin', sure as shootin'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 11:31 AM

I yam glad to hear thet sumone on thuh MOAB is awayer of the Imminence of the Transcendant Rupture and will be prepared for it.

It can also be brought on by heavy lifting, I believe.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 02:19 PM

See! I knew it was true! CarolC and Jack the Sailor have seen the Klingons in Atlanta too! If they're in Atlanta now, can Macon and Athens and Columbus be far behind? Then what about Tallahassee and Jacksonville and Destin (nevermind - they can have fuckin' Destin) and my own lovely Floribama?

The answer is obvious! There's only one man who can save us!

And that man is........

Patrick Stewart (aka Captain Jean-Luc Picard)

By the way, as I am typing this, there is a Google Public Service Ad for The Carter Center just below the message box. My Klingon sighting took place mere blocks from The Carter Center. A coincidence? I think not!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Mrs. Bee
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 02:28 PM

HELP!!!! Bee-dubya's gone inta shock or somethin'! He's froze to his chair with his fingers on th' computer's keyboard an' all he can do is mutter somethin' that sounds like, "Ohmigod! Holy fuckin' shit! Jimmy Carter's a Klingon!" over an' over again! HELP!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 02:40 PM

Mrs. Bee, how can you tell that this behavior is abnormal?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Kampervan
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 02:49 PM

Well ive read some of this here thread an I'm getting to understand a biddy bit of it.

Helltyre and drivation Rustic Rebel. What have you bin smokin?
Ma Kampervan aint Ford-made - its a VEE DUBYA.
It was built in startime datum log nineteen hunnerd an fast asleep. An its the only surfmobile to beat the shee-it out of a Klingon battleship with a cloaking device.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 03:00 PM

at least we're not (most of us) in Germany - where I understand the Klingons now have an annual festival.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 03:11 PM

The greatest Klingon-ass-kickin'-son-of-a-gun of all time is, of course, Captain James T. Kirk (William Shatner), and it is HE who will save the day...but I agree that Jean-Luc Picard could probably do a great job at it too. Maybe they will both team up on it. If so, the Klingons are doubly doomed.

Meanwhile, what is happening in Schenectady?????? Has the "City of Blight" been affected?

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 03:42 PM

Thanks Rapaire- I've been searching ths sky for days now and haven't been able to see anything yet. Could be because of clouds, but I still search.

Kampervan- I have one of those vee-dubya's too but it's not like the love machine, Ford driven', rough riden', red den of infamy.
(not liking to mention the vee is sitten' up on the hill right now needing a clutch)
Smoking?? It's the Klingons that are doing it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Kampervan
Date: 27 Apr 04 - 04:00 PM

Rustic Rebel - The only smoking those Klingons are doing is cos of a photon torpedo up their ass.

Now I know Ford is the all-american dream luv machine. But this vee-dubya's been round the clock, sgot a king-sized dreamin' room and a power amp to blow everything includin the top of your head.

So who see's what in the smoke signals from the Black Hills now?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: 42
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 06:20 AM

I thought the Klingons were our allies. What happened?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 07:53 AM

Listen, people...go NOW and check the link in the first post of the "Lunacy on Ebay" thread...it's amazing, and getting more amazing by the hour!

I kid you not. Read the whole thing.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 12:18 PM

Just a week 'til Mom's birthday!!! Hooray!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 03:21 PM

Does anyone know if Khandu will be among us then, eating cake and tossing cookiies, I mean confetti?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 04:05 PM

I just want to point out that the good Rapaire, whose humility is a source of great pride to all of us, needs to ea some crow for this infamous ancient post back in the dawning days of the MOAB:

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapaire - PM
Date: 31 May 03 - 09:48 AM

With the 'Cat going down for ten days....
Will this thread ever reach 500 posts?


I don't think any more need be said...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 05:16 PM

I was younger and far more innocent, full of the joy and aspirations of youth, hoping against hope that Mother would succeed. Oh, for those long-lost days of yesteryear, when I would blithely log on, a smile full of the promises of the future upon my boyish face. Oh, my lost youth! Oh, to recover and live again those days of yore! Little do we know when we dribble them away that we are dribbling away our lives, that our futures are being so unconcernedly frittered away in wine, in song, in the pleasures of the moment, with never a thought for the future. But no, not I! I was concerned, even then, for MOAB, for Mother's future. And so I posted, sharing with others my concerns for the future. But all the rest of you, given up as you are to dissipation and revelry, wallowing in disgusting lusts and sating your animal appetites, drinking and wenching or knaving without a thought to Mother's future, couldn't have cared less. NAY, I say! Me? The only one who cared? Eat crow? NAY, I say again! For it is written in Matthew 18:18 that I need not do so!

So there. Nyah.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 08:46 PM

I was raised to always respect librarians. With all due respect , therefore, I would offer the thought that Matthew 18:18:

17   And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.
18   Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.


...has little or nothing to do with it whatsoever. WhatsoEHHHver!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 10:23 PM

I don't know, Amos. Take this part:

let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican

I think that means that rather than eating crow, he's supposed to serve us beer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 11:08 PM

Well, it was the only scripture reference that occurred to me at the time, actually. I can find others if you'd like.

Gen.10:2-31 comes to mind. As does Amos 2:1-2, but don't blame ME for what Amos says there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 11:23 PM

And if he looses beer upon us on earth, then we shall revel in unloosed beer above, in Lyke Wyse? O, Carol, now I see why they named you Queen of the Crappers!! For behold, there is great wisdom in it!!

So, publican!! Beer all around!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 11:43 PM

It's Miller time in the Land of Sky Blue Waters! Beer for all of these Hamms! And what will they all eat with their beer? Kippered snacks made from alewife!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Apr 04 - 11:51 PM

As regards my Past Identity in Days of Yore:

Amos 2
1 This is what the LORD says:

"For three sins of Moab,
even for four, I will not turn back {my wrath}.
Because he burned, as if to lime,
the bones of Edom's king,
2 I will send fire upon Moab
that will consume the fortresses of Kerioth. [8]
Moab will go down in great tumult
amid war cries and the blast of the trumpet.
3 I will destroy her ruler
and kill all her officials with him,"
says the LORD .

4 This is what the LORD says:

"For three sins of Judah,
even for four, I will not turn back {my wrath}.
Because they have rejected the law of the LORD
and have not kept his decrees,
because they have been led astray by false gods, [9]
the gods [10] their ancestors followed,
5 I will send fire upon Judah
that will consume the fortresses of Jerusalem."


Seems like it really is coming true, man. Scary...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 12:01 AM

That's really uncanny that you were in the Bible talking about the Moab, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 01:14 AM

Of course Matthew 18:18 has nothing to do with the subject of Rap's post! This is the MOAB! Relevance is irrelevant!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 09:40 AM

So Amos' earlier posting in Amos' own Bible book is irrelevant. Whoa! This here MOAB sure does beat all!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 10:42 AM

A post may or may not be relevant, but its relevance is irrelevant. It's sorta like farts that don't smell.

See? My second sentence has absolutely no connection to the first (at least in normally functioning brains) but that irrelevance is totally irrelevant because this is the MOAB!

Hah!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 10:46 AM

obviously being served with beer would not be a punishment - so it is most likely that Satin - Lord of Hul9 confused the issue during translation - the original was obviously meant to specify BEARS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 11:17 AM

Pifflesnort!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 11:24 AM

I ain't drinking no bears, man. Not even for MOAB!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 11:30 AM

MOAB


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 11:40 AM

Relevancy is Irrelevant. Fiction is Truth. Les is Moore. And vice-versa and versa-vice.

Therefore, MOAB has become that which is real, and what is considered "Reality" is a mere pseudo-appendage to MOAB, destined to wither away and drop off.

And so, dudes and dudettes, I can say only one thing: Wow! Way cool!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 11:51 AM

Guest's informative link makes it clear that in its most essential form, MOAB, and all its descendents, are born in taboo and contaminated by excessive sharing of a most incestuous sort. From these unnatural beginnings, which are anathema to all right-thinkers everywhere, MOAB has spread across the plains and propsered and multiplied. But it will never fully escape the dark secret of its corrupt beginnings...never!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 11:59 AM

Huh? What corrupt beginnings? MOAB shares beginnings as lustrous as those of most nations, of great families such as that of Richard Coeur de Lion or Hank Tudor or Sawney Bean.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 12:03 PM

That Bible is a very weird place. Just like this MOAB. As without, so, also, within. If you don't want your beer, I'll have it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 12:04 PM

Oh, Rapaire, you have been too long resident in the Encyclopedia!! (That's E-N-C-Y-C-Elloopee-ee-deee-eye-ayyyy, Jiminy!) You need to get out more. Seduction of one's own parents is taboo, man, tabu, no-no, nicht gerweit, not done, non-you, outre, gauche, faux pas and also frowned upon.

But, as is evidenced by historical antecedents, being a criominal doesn't prevent you from prospering.

A


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