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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 17 Feb 10 - 10:23 AM
Amos 17 Feb 10 - 10:24 AM
Little Hawk 17 Feb 10 - 11:29 AM
Amos 17 Feb 10 - 11:43 AM
Little Hawk 17 Feb 10 - 12:32 PM
Amos 17 Feb 10 - 01:09 PM
Little Hawk 17 Feb 10 - 01:30 PM
Rapparee 17 Feb 10 - 01:34 PM
Amos 17 Feb 10 - 01:42 PM
Rapparee 17 Feb 10 - 01:51 PM
Little Hawk 17 Feb 10 - 02:05 PM
Amos 17 Feb 10 - 02:21 PM
Rapparee 17 Feb 10 - 02:24 PM
Amos 17 Feb 10 - 02:27 PM
Rapparee 17 Feb 10 - 03:02 PM
Amos 17 Feb 10 - 03:11 PM
Amos 17 Feb 10 - 03:24 PM
Little Hawk 17 Feb 10 - 04:11 PM
Janie 17 Feb 10 - 05:34 PM
Little Hawk 17 Feb 10 - 05:56 PM
Amos 17 Feb 10 - 06:05 PM
Little Hawk 17 Feb 10 - 06:59 PM
Amos 17 Feb 10 - 07:14 PM
Acme 17 Feb 10 - 07:43 PM
Rapparee 17 Feb 10 - 08:00 PM
Bill D 17 Feb 10 - 08:29 PM
Amos 17 Feb 10 - 08:32 PM
Amos 17 Feb 10 - 08:39 PM
Rapparee 17 Feb 10 - 10:19 PM
Acme 17 Feb 10 - 10:48 PM
Amos 17 Feb 10 - 11:47 PM
Janie 18 Feb 10 - 12:30 AM
Acme 18 Feb 10 - 01:00 AM
Little Hawk 18 Feb 10 - 09:37 AM
Rapparee 18 Feb 10 - 09:42 AM
Little Hawk 18 Feb 10 - 09:56 AM
Rapparee 18 Feb 10 - 10:19 AM
Amos 18 Feb 10 - 10:27 AM
John Hardly 18 Feb 10 - 11:00 AM
Amos 18 Feb 10 - 11:15 AM
Janie 18 Feb 10 - 02:16 PM
Little Hawk 18 Feb 10 - 03:20 PM
Amos 18 Feb 10 - 03:42 PM
John Hardly 18 Feb 10 - 05:03 PM
Little Hawk 18 Feb 10 - 05:13 PM
John Hardly 18 Feb 10 - 05:47 PM
Amos 18 Feb 10 - 06:00 PM
John Hardly 18 Feb 10 - 06:28 PM
Rapparee 18 Feb 10 - 06:56 PM
John Hardly 18 Feb 10 - 07:06 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 10:23 AM

The zookeeper was suspended, and I've heard a rumor that Chongo was in town. You don't think he was over there making mischief, do you? Would a chimp even bother with the gorilla freedom cause?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 10:24 AM

I think one of the gorillas slipped him a Franklin to distract the zookeeper during feeding time, is what I think.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 11:29 AM

Chongo has long been a passionate proponent of freedom for all apes and monkeys...and peaceful integration of same into human society. It sounds, though, like these gorillas had not attained the necessary levels of education and cultural awareness to be good candidates for such integration. In that case Chongo would have favored returning them to the wild, a la "Born Free".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 11:43 AM

,,,providing the dough was too good to pass up.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 12:32 PM

You are suggesting that Chongo traffics in his simian brothers and sisters for personal profit?????


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 01:09 PM

Sure. That, and finding out what the redhead had behind her skirt, are the onlymotives he has (aside from throwing dung).



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 01:30 PM

Your cynicism is shocking, sir. I trust that in time you will suffer pangs of regret over the slanderous remarks you have made today about my erstwhile friend, Chongo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 01:34 PM

I wanna sing some more. Let me know when you're ready.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 01:42 PM

One day you will awaken, LH, and discover that Chongo is the embodiment of your entire Dark Side in one small furry malevolent rod-toting, dick-flashing, fedora-wearing package.


Rapaire: sing, man!! Sing!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 01:51 PM

She'll be comin' round the mountain if she comes
She'll be comin' round the mountain if she comes
She'll be comin' round the mountain
She'll be comin' round the mountain
BRAVE BOYS!!
She'll be comin' round the mountain if she comes.

She'll be flyin' sheets and halyards if she comes
There'll be jigs and mizzens and mains'ls if she comes
She will have an outboard motor
And put out quite an odor
There's self pollution here if she comes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 02:05 PM

Chongo is offended by your cavalier and condescending attitude, Amos.

"I assume," I said to him, "that this means you are no longer on speaking terms with Amos. Shall I then inform him that in future, should you chance to meet on the street, a polite nod will suffice?"

"No, that's not exactly the way I would put it," Chongo replied. "No, I would word it quite differently. Sorta like..."Tell that lousy bum Amos that if he happens to cross my path anytime soon, he can expect to be pickin' his teeth up off the sidewalk, assumin' he is still conscious after we part company. Also, tell him to update his friggin' will. Ya don't want to leave that sorta thing till the last minute or yer relatives can get at loggerheads when you die, and yer spirit will be tortured in the afterlife by the mess you left behind here when you checked out sudden-like without leavin' no forwardin' address."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 02:21 PM

AH, I thinnk you make my point for me, good 'Ack!!

Rapaire: when should we expect that you will begin singing?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 02:24 PM

Down in the West Texas town of El Pesthole
I fell in love with a lovely young made.
Her name it was Rosey, she worked the cantinas
On a really dull night she might give me a whirl.

Oy, ho boy, Rosie!
In your cantinas!
Donde esta los quesos de me?
Oy, ho boy, Rosie!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 02:27 PM

WHere are my cheeses? You're making that up, aren't you? Confess...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 03:02 PM

Sing, you said, so I'm singing.

Way out west where the catfish run
Lived a mean old son-of-a-gun
His name was Percy and he bit off ears
But never, ever, drank some beers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 03:11 PM

Well, good. Carry on. Take a nice long shower--the tiles add reverb to good effect.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 03:24 PM

Running an artificial intelligence inside your head is all fun and games until someone loses an I.

Stuart Gibbon


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 04:11 PM

Or a tooth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 05:34 PM

Hey, according to the Google ad, you can buy the DVD, "The Little Hawk Show," for 19.95!

I think I'll wait until they play it on the Hallmark channel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 05:56 PM

Christ! No wonder I had the feeling I was under observation of late....

I can explain the incident with the Hillary Clinton inflatable doll!

On second thought, never mind.

I deny everything.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 06:05 PM

It's no use denying. Embrace it all and assert your freedom to do really perverted things.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 06:59 PM

LOL!

Yeah...well, my freedom one way or another is not the problem here. It's just that I'm worried that the last 40 years or so of paranoia I've gone through might actually have some kind of justification.

Sort of like DougR's worries about "liberals"...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 07:14 PM

You'll know your paranoia was justified when you wake up to the cold silding sensation of an anal probe being slid up your ass by a four-foot tall Gray in a Mother Ship testing lab, Hawkster. Until then, rest assured, neither your fears nor Chongo's will bear fruit.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 07:43 PM

54769

know what that is?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 08:00 PM

Ah...I'm going to take a wild guess...and say that it's a NUMBER!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 08:29 PM

That's the zipcode of Stockholm, Wisconsin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 08:32 PM

Home of these sterling charities:

CHURCH OF ST SOPHIA INC
PO BOX 611
STOCKHOLM, WI 54769

LUND MISSION COVENANT CHURCH
W10899 COUNTY ROAD CC
STOCKHOLM, WI 54769


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 08:39 PM

Just down the road from Our Lady Of Perpetual Responsibility....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 10:19 PM

Now staffed by the Sisters of the Divine Figure, who took over from the Sisters of the Holy Smokes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 10:48 PM

Nope. It's the number of posts Amos had written here at Mudcat when he added the remark about the tall Gray with a probe.

Astonishing, isn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 11:47 PM

Stilly, are you letting me into your fantasies again??? LOL!! I am flattered you bothered to look up my number of posts; I admit it is a sure sign of a wasted youth.,


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 18 Feb 10 - 12:30 AM

I should get more. Buy a TV. Read Entertainment Weekly. Listen to something other than npr on the radio.

Had no idea who Harry Connick Jr. was. Googled him and thought I was accompanying Mom to a crooner concert.

HOT DAMN!!!!! 1 1/2 uninterrupted hours of world class, New Orleans style (mostly) Big Band jazz! They were awesome. Excellent small venue seating 1800 people.

I'm jazzed!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Feb 10 - 01:00 AM

You mean, perhaps, that you should get _out_ more?

And you didn't know who Harry Connick, Jr, is? The best crooning voice since Frank Sinatra? Really?

Amos, as the thread showed yet another shift (after the gorilla phase) I just had the casual thought "I wonder how many books any of us could have written if we were actually writing something worthwhile instead of all of this BS" and I looked up your count since your hot link was handy. And there it is.

But at least that count isn't as depressing as the idea that Janie has gone all of this time not knowing Harry Connick, Jr. (I gather it was your mother, and not our MOM who went to that concert with you?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Feb 10 - 09:37 AM

It's not the sign of a wasted youth, Amos, it's the sign of a wasted middle age.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Feb 10 - 09:42 AM

My youth wasn't wasted, just misspent.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Feb 10 - 09:56 AM

If I could go back there now, I'd do a great many things differently. But that's because I know now what the things I did then led to, whereas then I didn't know where they were leading to. So...my youth may not have been wasted, as I have learned a number of useful things from it. If I have any future lives beyond this one (and I think I well might...) I can only hope that I will remember enough of the lessons learned in this life and apply them with care next time around so that my youth is a bit better directed than it was in this one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Feb 10 - 10:19 AM

I want to come back as the Galactic Overblind or whatever s/he/it is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Feb 10 - 10:27 AM

Ah, Rapaire, I believe you already HAVE.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 18 Feb 10 - 11:00 AM

Know how to tell raisin boys from raisin girls?


Grape-nuts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Feb 10 - 11:15 AM

It gives me Great Joy to see a post, however brief, from one of such sterling merit and literary prowess as M. Hardly, not to mention in like wise M. Day.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 18 Feb 10 - 02:16 PM

It was only afterward that I realized how astonishing it is that I had never heard of the guy, Stilly. He did croon some, but only as an excuse for he the guys to be on stage playing some really hot jazz.

His voice is not as smooth as Frank's, but he is more versatile. The best piece, among some great stuff was an improv. peice with him on piano, his bass player and the drummer. (The bass player and the drummer were awesome throughout the show, as were the lead trumpet and the alto sax player.)



Now I am seeing ads for Sunsout Little Hawk's Vision 500 piece jigsaw puzzle also. Maybe I better order it. I don't think they are going to be airing Little Hawk and the Hilary blow-up doll on Hallmark.

I keep waiting for ads for Famous Amos cookies, or something.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Feb 10 - 03:20 PM

What Amos is justifiably famous for is not his cookies, but his bloviatory excercises on this forum which have, in both their dimension and their needless complexity, surpassed all the combined texts of all the classical Greek philosophers of antiquity...presently by a factor of 3.2 per cent. Unlike those texts, however, they have inspired no discernable human advancements in culture or anything else worth mentioning. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Feb 10 - 03:42 PM

Little Hawk: The Great Bard put it this way: "How sharper than a serpent's tooth is the sting of an ungrateful child."

Seems to me you could do better than bite the hand that feeds you, Mister Tooth.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 18 Feb 10 - 05:03 PM

"How totally sharper than, like, a serpent's tooth is the shting of an ungrateful child and stuff."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Feb 10 - 05:13 PM

Nice of you to put that in modern teen-speak for us, John Hardly. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 18 Feb 10 - 05:47 PM

What's the use of being bi-lingual if you don't show it off now and again?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Feb 10 - 06:00 PM

YEah, sweet. I'm all like "words" and he's all, like, "tooth", ya know?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 18 Feb 10 - 06:28 PM

He's, like, totally and stuff, and I'm, like, as if


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Feb 10 - 06:56 PM

WHATever....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 18 Feb 10 - 07:06 PM

Out, damned schpot.


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