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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 03 Mar 10 - 11:26 AM
Amos 03 Mar 10 - 11:34 AM
Little Hawk 03 Mar 10 - 11:40 AM
Rapparee 03 Mar 10 - 01:06 PM
Rapparee 03 Mar 10 - 02:46 PM
Rapparee 03 Mar 10 - 02:53 PM
Rapparee 03 Mar 10 - 02:59 PM
Amos 03 Mar 10 - 03:04 PM
Little Hawk 03 Mar 10 - 04:20 PM
Amos 03 Mar 10 - 04:25 PM
Little Hawk 03 Mar 10 - 04:29 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 03 Mar 10 - 04:39 PM
Rapparee 03 Mar 10 - 07:03 PM
Amos 03 Mar 10 - 07:41 PM
GUEST,Esmee Been 03 Mar 10 - 08:03 PM
Rapparee 03 Mar 10 - 08:44 PM
Amos 03 Mar 10 - 10:18 PM
Rapparee 04 Mar 10 - 09:01 AM
Amos 04 Mar 10 - 09:30 AM
Acme 04 Mar 10 - 11:26 AM
Amos 04 Mar 10 - 12:09 PM
Amos 04 Mar 10 - 03:00 PM
Rapparee 04 Mar 10 - 07:37 PM
Amos 04 Mar 10 - 07:39 PM
Rapparee 04 Mar 10 - 09:53 PM
Amos 04 Mar 10 - 11:25 PM
Janie 05 Mar 10 - 12:08 AM
Amos 05 Mar 10 - 01:28 AM
Amos 05 Mar 10 - 10:33 AM
Rapparee 05 Mar 10 - 11:11 AM
Amos 05 Mar 10 - 11:48 AM
Little Hawk 05 Mar 10 - 12:54 PM
Amos 05 Mar 10 - 01:02 PM
gnu 05 Mar 10 - 01:02 PM
Little Hawk 05 Mar 10 - 01:05 PM
Acme 05 Mar 10 - 02:19 PM
Little Hawk 05 Mar 10 - 02:25 PM
Rapparee 05 Mar 10 - 08:40 PM
Rapparee 05 Mar 10 - 09:46 PM
Amos 05 Mar 10 - 11:24 PM
Acme 05 Mar 10 - 11:44 PM
Janie 05 Mar 10 - 11:57 PM
Rapparee 06 Mar 10 - 10:08 AM
Amos 06 Mar 10 - 10:35 AM
Rapparee 06 Mar 10 - 02:43 PM
Rapparee 06 Mar 10 - 02:43 PM
Acme 06 Mar 10 - 02:48 PM
Amos 06 Mar 10 - 02:50 PM
Janie 06 Mar 10 - 03:57 PM
Acme 06 Mar 10 - 04:02 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 11:26 AM

Yes, I understand that I would be a likely suspect...no doubt about it. However, when I tell you unequivocally that I did not post any of those Esmee Bean posts, I mean it.

What the heck. It's not like I have much to lose here. ;-) This kind of nonsense is strictly for fun, so I'm not risking much by making it clear that a particular set of "Guest" posts didn't come from me, but I'm just attempting to clear the deck, that's all. I sort of have to do that when various anonymous happens that might be ascribed to me, otherwise I'd end up being blamed for a ton of weird stuff that I never posted, and that could get to be a real hassle.

Think about who it might be. It ain't me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 11:34 AM

Well, it certainly couldn't have been Rapaire!! His reputation for probity and straightforward, honest communication is unmarred in the annals of his own mind!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 11:40 AM

LOL!

Yeah, I too strongly suspect the Mad Librarian...

The sad thing is, though, I will never know it for an absolute certainty unless he admits it, and I've seldom known him to admit anything.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 01:06 PM

I admit it! I did it! And I'm glad, you hear me? Glad! Who knew the inheritance powder wouldn't work? Damn.

                        --Charles
Prince of Wales, Duke of Cornwall, Duke of Rothesay, Earl of Chester, Earl of Carrick, Baron Renfrew, Lord of the Isles, Prince and Great Steward of Scotland.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 02:46 PM

Yes! I do admit it! I shot him! I never liked Jesse anyway, really. I always wondered about him and Frank, his own brother. I mean, c'mon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 02:53 PM

I also killed Julius Caesar, robbed the stagecoach at Blackrock, turned in the Dauphin and the Duke, showed the Persians the way around the Spartans, shot William Rufus, and pushed Amy Robsart down the stairs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 02:59 PM

I also beheaded Ann Boleyn and Poor Pearl.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 03:04 PM

Well, there ya go, Hawkster. Just shows to go ya, just when you think you know someone, bam!! They pull something like confessing to every major murder in the last 2100 years. Lose more damn friends that way--they get trundled off in funny jackets.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 04:20 PM

Chongo would probably investigate all these allegations if he thought there was any point (or gain) in doing so....

Heh!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 04:25 PM

If Chongo got Rapaire alone in a room and got him tied up and pistol whipped him a little about robbing that Black Rock stage, he might be able to get Rapaire to reveal where the six trunks of gold dust and nuggets it was carrying ended up being hidden in what was, at the time, the back reaches of Cochise country.

Just a thought, mind you...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 04:29 PM

That sounds like a pretty good idea to me. I'll suggest it to Chongo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 04:39 PM

Sure, I am willin' to get Rapaire alone in a room and use some gentle "persuasion" to get him to spill the beans about the Black Rock Stage robbery and them other allegations...

Providin' I get some money up front first, that is.

$500 down should do it. I'll get this pigeon to sing, no problem. But who's puttin' up the cash? Ya know....I like Rapaire almost enough to do it for free.....but I also need rent money. A guy can't afford to get soft.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 07:03 PM

Cochise County? Amos, have you been smoking Californy Tabaky agin? The robbery referred to was near the Black Rock station outside of what is now Inkom, Idaho. The stage went from Virginia City, etc., MT to Salt Lake City, UT. There's no Cochise County anywhere along that route.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 07:41 PM

I am SO sorry, Sir. I don't know what I could have been thinking of when I wrote Cochise COUNTRY, not county. Of course, I meant Uintah country.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Esmee Been
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 08:03 PM

Louie, why do you let your friends speculate about me? About US?

Is Little Hawk dangerous? Did he 'scape from the asylum a while back?

Don't you wanna know about little Johnnie? Not a peep or leap for joy at the news. I need to warn you, that I kinda accidentally let it slip to Thelma that I'd found you, and she wants to know where this Mudcat place is. Is it a fish restaurant?

She thinks you should send your tips to help support your son.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 08:44 PM

At the time is was part of Bingham County, Idaho. There is not now, and never has been, a Uintah County in Idaho. The very idea would arose much ire in the Legion Hovel, should you ever care to visit that esteemed establishment.

Esmee: keepking little Johnny poor and wanting builds character. Louie told me that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 10:18 PM

You need to have your prescriptions checked. I have twice written "country" (a general region or area) and you have twice read "county" (a legal, named area). Foo!! Teach them Legionaires readin'. And to wear they eyeglasses.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Mar 10 - 09:01 AM

The Pocatello Range ain't nowhere near the Uintahs. The Sergeant-At-Arms to me to tell you that while he was slapping his left hand with his blackjack.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Mar 10 - 09:30 AM

And slapping his black jack with his other hand....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Mar 10 - 11:26 AM

MOM says you boys are playing a little rough with those blackjacks. Next it will be nunchucks. And then look out or she'll call Judge Sonia to come set you guys right.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Mar 10 - 12:09 PM

Well, it's not my fault. A couple of real loonies waylaid me and tried to rip off my identity. What was I SPOSED to do?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Mar 10 - 03:00 PM

Thread conflations: ANy Buddhists out there nesting in a banjo case?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Mar 10 - 07:37 PM

Nooooooooo...but I have found a Mysterious Gadget in my trumpet case. I think it's Presbyterian,though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Mar 10 - 07:39 PM

Wal, Rapaire, ya know, back before Lincoln shuffled the Shoshone, the Ute and the Uintas aound so much, there was a lot more country over which we they traveled. There are many legends about Uintas gold, and it is just possible that stage was carrying the wrongly taken results of someone messing with the Mine of Lost Souls, or some other sacred place which the Uintas did not feel should be messed with by such late-comers. And that might well be why that stagecoach carried that gold, and why, when it was robbed, and the driver and his partner left to bleach in the sun, they say there were signs of warrior's ponies in the vicinity.

No-one knows. If you say you're the one that robbed that stage, well, fair enough, I ain't gonna argue. But do not protest overmuch, as the Bard saith.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Mar 10 - 09:53 PM

Moving the Shoshone around woulda been a tad difficult fer Lincoln, Amos, since the Ft. Hall Indian Reservation (for the Shoshone and Bannock tribes) was created by the Ft. Bridger Treaty of 1868. Ol' Abe had done been dead a piece by that time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Mar 10 - 11:25 PM

Oh, split my hairs, white man.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 05 Mar 10 - 12:08 AM

Somebody post some poetry, plagiarized or not. All this male posturing gets a might tiresome in prose form.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Mar 10 - 01:28 AM

"It all began with Abraham Lincoln and a promise. In the midst of history's greatest test of presidential mettle, Lincoln took time in 1861 to establish the Uintah Valley Reservation for the Ute Indians in Utah.


Before he wrote the order, however, the federal government asked Mormon leader Brigham Young if the Uintah Valley was appropriate for a reservation. Young reported that the land was so utterly useless that its only purpose was to hold the other parts of the world together. In other words, it was perfect for an Indian reservation.


Congress then passed a law that declared the new reservation was "for the permanent settlement and exclusive occupation" of the Ute Indians. In 1882 Congress authorized an addition, which created a homeland for the Utes of over 4 million acres. Finally, the Utes in Utah had a refuge from Anglo settlers."


Thus it began with Lincoln.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Mar 10 - 10:33 AM

Oh, Mom, you've overslept. IO guess all that chest-thumping plumb wore you out, huh? I'm sorry. Here's some nice pancakes from pre-mix, some reconstituted frozen orange juice, and some pre-cooked synthetic bacon for you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Mar 10 - 11:11 AM

I wrote this some years back just rediscovered it in an old file. I call it "Dover Beach."

The sea is calm to-night.
The tide is full, the moon lies fair
Upon the straits; on the French coast the light
Gleams and is gone; the cliffs of England stand;
Glimmering and vast, out in the tranquil bay.
Come to the window, sweet is the night-air!
Only, from the long line of spray
Where the sea meets the moon-blanched land,
Listen! you hear the grating roar
Of pebbles which the waves draw back, and fling,
At their return, up the high strand,
Begin, and cease, and then again begin,
With tremulous cadence slow, and bring
The eternal note of sadness in.

Sophocles long ago
Heard it on the A gaean, and it brought
Into his mind the turbid ebb and flow
Of human misery; we
Find also in the sound a thought,
Hearing it by this distant northern sea.

The Sea of Faith
Was once, too, at the full, and round earth's shore
Lay like the folds of a bright girdle furled.
But now I only hear
Its melancholy, long, withdrawing roar,
Retreating, to the breath
Of the night-wind, down the vast edges drear
And naked shingles of the world.

Ah, love, let us be true
To one another! for the world, which seems
To lie before us like a land of dreams,
So various, so beautiful, so new,
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;
And we are here as on a darkling plain
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
Where ignorant armies clash by night.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Mar 10 - 11:48 AM

Rapaire:

I am so glad you've realized how reincarnation works, and thanks for sharing with us your past life as Matthew Arnold.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Mar 10 - 12:54 PM

I woke up with a sore throat this morning, Amos. First time in several years.

I think it's probably your fault, though I'm not sure how you did it.

I am, naturally, plotting my revenge. You shall hear from me presently. ;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Mar 10 - 01:02 PM

I suspect you are punishing your throat for all the wicked things you have said here, LH.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Mar 10 - 01:02 PM

You shall hear from me presently. ???

You should rest your throat, LH.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Mar 10 - 01:05 PM

Oh, I am resting it. Just taking it easy today and drinking lots of fluids. I feel okay energy-wise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Mar 10 - 02:19 PM

Gargle with warm salt water several times a day. And hold off of the moonshine. Straight alcohol will hurt, not soothe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Mar 10 - 02:25 PM

Yup. I've been doing that. It works rather well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Mar 10 - 08:40 PM

Gargle with that waddyacallit...stuff that passes for beer in Canada.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Mar 10 - 09:46 PM

Hey, Mom! Did I mention that I'm off to New Mexico for a week on Sunday?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Mar 10 - 11:24 PM

I imagine you're off to most of the States, Rapaire...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Mar 10 - 11:44 PM

Taking the bookmobile on the road, Rap?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 05 Mar 10 - 11:57 PM

Have your camera ready, Rap? Look for armadillos. Rare there, apparently, but not unheard of. Keep in mind, nonetheless,

If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck
If there's duck doo on your pickup truck,
It ain't no armadillo!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Mar 10 - 10:08 AM

Just a nice trip to Albuquerque, Santa Fe, Taos, Ojo Caliente, and points between. Don't fret any, Mom -- I'll have the netbook with me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Mar 10 - 10:35 AM

Enjoy. Is this a vacation or the forwarding of some wily purpose on your part?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Mar 10 - 02:43 PM

I've always wondered, "Donde esta el queso de me padre?" and now I intend to find out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Mar 10 - 02:43 PM

Tres quatro cinco cero cero.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Mar 10 - 02:48 PM

That was a nice round number, and not at all cheesy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Mar 10 - 02:50 PM

Apparently his father is another matter. IS he in Santa Fe?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 06 Mar 10 - 03:57 PM

Rap is the product of parents?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Mar 10 - 04:02 PM

by-product. There's a difference. . .


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