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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 07 Apr 10 - 01:37 PM
Rapparee 07 Apr 10 - 01:38 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 07 Apr 10 - 01:48 PM
Rapparee 07 Apr 10 - 02:04 PM
Rapparee 07 Apr 10 - 02:11 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 07 Apr 10 - 02:15 PM
gnu 07 Apr 10 - 02:23 PM
Little Hawk 07 Apr 10 - 02:26 PM
Rapparee 07 Apr 10 - 03:39 PM
Rapparee 07 Apr 10 - 03:42 PM
gnu 07 Apr 10 - 03:45 PM
Acme 07 Apr 10 - 04:08 PM
Eiseley 07 Apr 10 - 04:32 PM
Little Hawk 07 Apr 10 - 04:40 PM
Acme 07 Apr 10 - 05:20 PM
Rapparee 07 Apr 10 - 05:24 PM
Amos 07 Apr 10 - 05:38 PM
Rapparee 07 Apr 10 - 05:56 PM
gnu 07 Apr 10 - 06:05 PM
Eiseley 07 Apr 10 - 06:24 PM
Eiseley 07 Apr 10 - 06:34 PM
Acme 07 Apr 10 - 07:30 PM
Rapparee 07 Apr 10 - 10:02 PM
Rapparee 08 Apr 10 - 08:46 AM
Acme 08 Apr 10 - 09:53 AM
MMario 08 Apr 10 - 10:56 AM
Rapparee 08 Apr 10 - 02:29 PM
GUEST,Eiseley 08 Apr 10 - 02:43 PM
Rapparee 08 Apr 10 - 05:17 PM
John MacKenzie 08 Apr 10 - 05:20 PM
Bobert 08 Apr 10 - 05:36 PM
Rapparee 08 Apr 10 - 07:12 PM
Acme 09 Apr 10 - 01:09 AM
Rapparee 09 Apr 10 - 10:22 AM
MMario 09 Apr 10 - 10:28 AM
Acme 09 Apr 10 - 10:47 AM
Rapparee 09 Apr 10 - 11:04 AM
MMario 09 Apr 10 - 11:07 AM
Rapparee 09 Apr 10 - 11:41 AM
Amos 09 Apr 10 - 05:30 PM
Rapparee 09 Apr 10 - 09:07 PM
Acme 10 Apr 10 - 12:10 AM
Eiseley 10 Apr 10 - 12:40 AM
Rapparee 10 Apr 10 - 10:23 AM
GUEST,Amos 10 Apr 10 - 06:01 PM
Rapparee 10 Apr 10 - 10:27 PM
Rapparee 10 Apr 10 - 10:28 PM
Rapparee 10 Apr 10 - 10:28 PM
Rapparee 10 Apr 10 - 10:29 PM
Rapparee 11 Apr 10 - 11:01 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 01:37 PM

I need some American chestnut lumber -- where are these trees again?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 01:38 PM

(By the way, the disease-resistant elm is called the "Liberty Elm" and can be had from the American Elm Society.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 01:48 PM

Hmm. The Elm Society, the Chestnut Society---what about the Hemlock Society?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 02:04 PM

Or The Poison Ivy Society? Or People For The Ethical Treatment Of People?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 02:11 PM

Oh, yeah, I forget to mention

39634 62349 74088 65564 16379 19713 39153 69459 17986 24537
14595 35050 40469 27478 44526 67331 93365 54526 22356 93208
30734 71571 83722 79712 25775 65178 07763 82928 31131 30196
64628 89126 91254 24090 25752 03091 39411 73146 06089 15630
42831 95113 43511 42082 15140 34733 68076 18292 69486 80468

You have the decrypt key.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 02:15 PM

No I don't! I gave it back along with the Panic, Eject, and Any key.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 02:23 PM

Rap... hehheee.. good one. An oldie but still a goodie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 02:26 PM

Thanks, Eiseley! I cannot imagine getting through a year without hearing the latest from the American Chestnut Foundation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 03:39 PM

Wait, LH, until it arrives.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 03:42 PM

And you all know that the decrypt key is either B# or Cb, depending on the phase of the moon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 03:45 PM

Phase of the moon? Wax on or wax off? Tell us wain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 04:08 PM

You're better off with Nads, forget the moon to wax with.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 04:32 PM

I really prefer racewax.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 04:40 PM

Nine out of ten werewolves prefer Nads.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 05:20 PM

You use that racewax on your pits, or to do a Brazilian wax?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 05:24 PM

I use it to make candles....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 05:38 PM

For once you made a Kay without my ballyhoo. I can' find the damn thing anywhere. It was in the closet by the digeridoo and the ramadamadingdong and now it's gone. Alas, poor ballyhoo. I loved it, Horatio.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 05:56 PM

Quidquid latine dictum sit,
altum videtur.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 06:05 PM

A video of a latina sitting on what?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 06:24 PM

I don't think it would be very nice to use it on your pits, Stilly!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 06:34 PM

Welcome back, Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 07:30 PM

No, I wouldn't use it on my pit. Or my catahoula.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Apr 10 - 10:02 PM

Has Amos been gone?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 08:46 AM

I guess he's still gone. Like, real gone, man.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 09:53 AM

But not long gone. Just gonna stay gone a little while.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 10:56 AM

Is it time to retire yet? Please?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 02:29 PM

I did that just a bit ago. Got a new (used) tire on my wife's car to replace, temporarily, one which was bald. I feel safer after retiring.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 02:43 PM

What do you get when you run in front of a car for a long time?

Tired.

What do you get when you run in back of a car for a long time?

Exhausted.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 05:17 PM

How do you feel after being chased by the car?

Run down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 05:20 PM

Me big end's gone


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bobert
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 05:36 PM

That's it fir me fir another year or so... I thought I had a good plan to hit 35K but it wasn't a good plan at all...

Congrates, Magz...

See ya'll around 40K...

B~


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Apr 10 - 07:12 PM

You'll look better in a kilt without the "bustle".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Apr 10 - 01:09 AM

What do you get when you put two people in the driver's seat when the car is chasing and exhausting and retiring pedestrians?

A steering committee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 10 - 10:22 AM

FIVE HOURS!!

Mom was left alone for 5 (five!!) hours!

Do you know what sort of trouble she may have gotten into? She may have made prank pizza delivery calls. She may have wrecked Big Tony's Bar again. She may have hacked the computers of the National Security Agency and/or the CIA. She may have posted music on the Internew with RIAA approval!!!

Heavens, she may have been by the lake, alone and palely loitering!

Thank goodness I dropped in from time to time to keep an eye on her and bring her a cup of tea and toast.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 09 Apr 10 - 10:28 AM

Hey Rap?

Mom's asked me to speak to you about dropping in un-announced.

Seems you've scared off a number of what she calls "social oppurtunities" and she isn't happy about it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Apr 10 - 10:47 AM

Oooooo, Rap, that's not good. When a woman gets to a certain age, she doesn't want the kids underfoot when she's interested in that kind of opportunity. I wouldn't be surprised if a sign ends up on the front doorknob that says

If the monitor is rockin, don't come a knockin'.

Know what she means?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 10 - 11:04 AM

Yeah -- she's making money again that she doesn't report to Social Security or the IRS.

Well, that explains the guy I shot going out her back window. Fortunately I only winged the senator him and I told him I was sorry and that I was usually a better shot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 09 Apr 10 - 11:07 AM

How do you think she paid for those Christmas presents she sent us all...never mind the postage!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 10 - 11:41 AM

Well, back to Mom's Song:

There's a sundown girl, her name is Mandy Lane
She's a free-livin' mama on a high-level plane
Gentleman calls at her front gate
You can hear him holler both early and late

Keep on truckin' mama, truckin' till the break of day
I said keep on truckin' mama, truckin' till the break of day
Oh you're the best truck driver this end of town
And you do your drivin' from your hips on down
Keep on truckin' mama, truckin' till the break of day, I say
Truckin' till the break of day

Now you keep on doin' what you done last night
They put your yes-yes back in jail
I said you keep on doin' what you done last night
They put your yes-yes back in jail
Well you come through the door just a raisin' sand
Tell what you been doin' by the way you stand
Keep on truckin' mama, truckin' till the break of day, I say
Truckin' till the break of day

Now big industry's come into our town
We got profit and a progress just a spreadin' all around
We got a big cotton mill and a plastics plant
And a sign in Mandy's window down on Fourth and Grant… Says
If I can't sell it, gonna keep sittin' on it
Never catch me givin' it away
Hey, now if I can't sell it, gonna keep sittin' on it
Never catch me givin' it away
Don't care how keen my competition might be
I ain't givin' samples away for free
If I can't sell it, gonna keep sittin' on it
Never catch me givin' it away, I say, never catch me givin' it away

Now if I can't move it out on the open market
Takin' all my business back home
Now if I can't move it out on the open market
Startin' me a little industry at home
Don't care if your name is Richard, Bill or Tom
Knock on my door and it's, "Hello John!"
If I can't sell it, gonna keep sittin' on it
Never catch me givin' it away, I say
Never catch me givin' it away, Oh No!
Never catch me givin' it, well, hardly ever
Never catch me givin' it away.


(as sung by the Chad Mitchell Trio on the "Slightly Irreverent" album)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Apr 10 - 05:30 PM

My version is so much sassier I couldn't even post it where Mom mii
might see it. Still in Oakland about to share a Big Pint with El Swanno.

Hi, Mom!!!! Nothin'....why?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Apr 10 - 09:07 PM

As a gentleman, I decided to post one of the nicer versions so that I wouldn't offend the ladies too much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Apr 10 - 12:10 AM

You guys mind the fort. I'll be away for a few days, though I should be able to check in occasionally.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 10 Apr 10 - 12:40 AM

Take care, drive or fly safely, Stilly. I'm sinking into the depths of graduate school projects now and have a funeral to attend in Wyoming next week. So . . . it's up to the boys (and Janie and Rustic Rebel) to keep Mother off the bottom.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 10 - 10:23 AM

Mom has never had any trouble at the bottom. In fact, she seems to like the Lower Depths, consorting with pimps, prostitutes, politicians, potters and other sorts whose occupations begin with "P".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 10 Apr 10 - 06:01 PM

Like plagiarists and pompous poltroons, for example.

Swanno is in great nick, Mom, and so is his fire house. The engines are shiny and the pole is brassy bright and the boots are ready.

Great little town, Oakland. I'll be on the road tomorrow making my way home again.

Stay bright, Mom...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 10 - 10:27 PM

Amos decides to come home and San Diego experiences a 4.5 earthquake...is there a connection?

I say, "YES!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 10 - 10:28 PM

Heck. Why don't I


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 10 - 10:28 PM

just go ahead


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Apr 10 - 10:29 PM

and grab the palindrome?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Apr 10 - 11:01 AM

Poor Mom. Left along for 12 hours, and I find her nearly ready to fall off the edge (I think she might have been drinking). How nice it is for her that I'm around to care!

That's why I'm her favorite!

(By the way, does anyone know where Mom got all this money and why her clothes are so wrinkled?)


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