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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Eiseley 11 Aug 11 - 08:09 PM
Amos 11 Aug 11 - 08:29 PM
Rapparee 11 Aug 11 - 08:36 PM
Rapparee 11 Aug 11 - 10:30 PM
Eiseley 12 Aug 11 - 01:36 AM
Amos 12 Aug 11 - 10:04 AM
gnu 12 Aug 11 - 01:09 PM
Rapparee 12 Aug 11 - 04:12 PM
Acme 12 Aug 11 - 04:44 PM
Amos 12 Aug 11 - 05:02 PM
Little Hawk 12 Aug 11 - 06:35 PM
gnu 12 Aug 11 - 07:07 PM
Rapparee 12 Aug 11 - 07:23 PM
Little Hawk 12 Aug 11 - 08:32 PM
Rapparee 12 Aug 11 - 09:24 PM
Little Hawk 12 Aug 11 - 11:05 PM
Rapparee 13 Aug 11 - 01:42 PM
Amos 13 Aug 11 - 01:59 PM
gnu 13 Aug 11 - 02:01 PM
Amos 13 Aug 11 - 02:25 PM
Rapparee 13 Aug 11 - 04:12 PM
Little Hawk 13 Aug 11 - 04:49 PM
Rapparee 13 Aug 11 - 05:12 PM
gnu 13 Aug 11 - 05:19 PM
Little Hawk 13 Aug 11 - 05:24 PM
gnu 13 Aug 11 - 06:03 PM
Rapparee 13 Aug 11 - 06:41 PM
Little Hawk 13 Aug 11 - 06:48 PM
gnu 13 Aug 11 - 08:08 PM
Little Hawk 13 Aug 11 - 08:11 PM
gnu 13 Aug 11 - 08:44 PM
Rapparee 13 Aug 11 - 09:24 PM
Eiseley 13 Aug 11 - 10:14 PM
Acme 13 Aug 11 - 11:09 PM
Amos 13 Aug 11 - 11:10 PM
Amos 14 Aug 11 - 12:21 PM
gnu 14 Aug 11 - 02:22 PM
Acme 17 Aug 11 - 10:25 PM
MMario 17 Aug 11 - 10:31 PM
Amos 17 Aug 11 - 10:32 PM
gnu 17 Aug 11 - 10:32 PM
JennyO 17 Aug 11 - 10:41 PM
Rapparee 18 Aug 11 - 12:10 AM
Amos 18 Aug 11 - 12:25 AM
gnu 18 Aug 11 - 01:46 PM
Amos 18 Aug 11 - 01:53 PM
Amos 18 Aug 11 - 02:59 PM
Eiseley 18 Aug 11 - 03:29 PM
Amos 18 Aug 11 - 04:46 PM
gnu 17 Aug 11 - 05:25 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 11 Aug 11 - 08:09 PM

That was very romantic, Amos. I'm sure Daley appreciated it.

Don't shoot when you're loaded up on vodka and metamucil, Rapparee. Bad accidents can happen that way!

My ex-husband just had a tooth pulled and needs about 31 more done. Poor guy. I mentioned Tiajuana to him, but he just groaned and moved the ice pack to a more comfortable position.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Aug 11 - 08:29 PM

My gay artist friend Bob Simpson has just been whisked off to Scripps for congestive heart failure resulting in a quad bypass--external pacemaker, tubes into a heart-lung machine, stop the heart, crack open the sternum and rib cage and replace the valves and tubes of the heart with bits and pieces from elsewhere. He's holding his own now, but it was touch and go for a while there. Gahhhh. Whoever wrote this script needs to seriously rework the third act.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Aug 11 - 08:36 PM

Warn't nothin' killed, Amos, 'ceptin' Pick almost wuz trout food. That ol' trout had scales that'd stop a cannon shell. Folks out this way are peaceful, and them that ain't become so cuz of the pure air, the clear mountain streams, and the generally healthy way of livin'. Why, Tillie Petersen's 90 and rides her bicycle everywhere. The other day she heard her sister, Prudence, was in the hospital in Salt Lake City and ready to cash in her chips. So Tillie hopped on her bicycle and made it to SLC and the hospital in a little under three hours. When she got there her sister was breathin' her last and askin' Tillie if the air was still as pure and all as it ever was. Ol' Tillie, she run down the stairs, took the back wheel offen her bike, ran back up and gave Prudence a shot of good ol' Idaho mountain air from the inner tube. Prudence jumped outa bed, yanked out all the tubes and stuff, put on her clothes, and raced Tillie back to Pocatello, Tillie on her bike and Prudence on foot, and Prudence won because of the low tire pressure in Tillie's rear tire. Doc says Prudence is good for another eighty or so years if she cuts down on her drinking just a little bit, but she can keep smoking them cigars she likes so much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Aug 11 - 10:30 PM

Amos, get him a big teddy bear or another large, soft doll. He'll need it to hold tightly to his chest when he coughs -- and he'll be encouraged to cough. The teddy bear (or a pillow) really does help with the pain. My brother, who had nine bypasses, swears to this and he hasn't lied to me very much recently.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 12 Aug 11 - 01:36 AM

He looks like an amazing and kind man. Good thoughts to him, and to you.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 11 - 10:04 AM

Rapp:

Thanks for the thoughtful suggestion. I take back all the snarky remarks I ever made about you.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Aug 11 - 01:09 PM

A... hope yer bud does better'n Prudence.

Rap... great story!

Now. 250 grains flyin at 960 fps muzzle... I don't need to do the ARITHMETICS, although I could cuz I are a ingunear and I larnt that stuff before I even went away to become one, to know that there ain't gonna kick.

Minds me a the time my Bro left his fancy Browning o/u unattended. I changed out his el cheapo Crappy Tire low brass (I use that term but they looked like tin) load in the top barrel with a CIL Special Long Range Dynawad #4. Ya shoulda seen the look on Bro's face when he fired at a big birch cock.

Them CILs were good shells. When I used to hunt birds with my $300, second hand Russian made o/u full/modified with #6s I could knock em left and right at distance and clean em fer the pot short range. Them Ruskies KNOW how to injunear a shotgun. And Cunucks know how to injunear a shell. But, some rich buncha Yanks bought out the Canucks and now the best we can store buy here is yer Winchester crap. Oh, it's okay but ya can't cut down trees with the over so as ya can knock birds with the lower.

I actually did that once by mistake. Took about two feet off a pine and got the partridge with the bottom barrel. Ya shoulda seen the look on Bro's face.

Now... yer brookies got scales??? What fer? Weighin fellahs what they catch?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 11 - 04:12 PM

gnu, I got a box of CIL .22 long rifles. What're they worth to ya? Full box of 50, or 46 in metric.

Kinda reminds me of the time my youngest brother was courtin' the lady he married. They were out with some other friends target shootin' and his gal friend got pretty good with a .357 shooting .38 specials for somebody brought up in Chicago and who hadn't ever fired a gun aforen that. So they loaded up the first five rounds as .38s and the last as a .357 magnum. She outshot both of 'em and remarked when she'd emptied the cylinder "I think that last one had more powder in it or something." You never seen two guys look sicker than when she said that, in all innocence.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Aug 11 - 04:44 PM

Well, shoot.

It has been so many years since I handled a little .22 rifle I can't remember much about it, except that it took them a while to realize that I was shooting right handed but viewing the scope/sight thingie with my left eye so it's lucky I hit anything.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 11 - 05:02 PM

BBW agrees with your friendly suggestion, Rapp.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 11 - 06:35 PM

Got a question for you, Rap. Is it true that you should keep both eyes open when sighting a rifle? I've seen a lot of people squinting shut their left eye while they sight with their right eye (or vice versa). Then I heard somewhere that there's no reason to do that, and you keep both eyes open and just relax the eye you're not sighting with. I presume a right-handed person sights with the right eye normally? That's the way I always did it, but I did deliberately shut the left eye while sighting. I'm just wondering if I was doing it the right way, so I'm asking an expert.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Aug 11 - 07:07 PM

Scope, yes, to an extent. Iron sights, no. Shotgun is a different matter depending on the field of fire. Master eye discussion aside.

Now, scope... that depends on the circumstances... often, both eyes open until the right moment.

Of course, I defer to the expert in any case.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 11 - 07:23 PM

Close one eye. The other eye is dominant.

I don't see that it matters all that much. If having one eye closed helps you by reducing distractions, do it that way. If you want more peripheral vision leave 'em both open. Sight alignment, breath control, and trigger control are what's important. Oh, yeah -- if you don't load the weapon it won't go bang so that's kinda important too.

But if you go shooting, PLEASE:

1. Treat every gun as if it were a loaded gun until YOU PERSONALLY have proven otherwise.

2. Are dead certain that what you think is your target IS what you want to shoot.

3. Know where the bullet is going to go if you miss (a high dirt bank is good).

4. Don't mix alcohol and gunpowder. For one thing, your powder gets wet and won't hardly go off.

5. Be certain that the ammunition you are going to use is for your shootin' iron. Nothing quite like putting a 20 gauge shell down a 12 gauge barrel and trying to shoot it out with a 12 gauge shell...you'll make lots of work for the undertaker.

6. Be sure your shootin' iron is in good condition and will accommodate the ammo you're using. For a real blast, load a pre-1900 damascus barrel shotgun with a modern shotshell, or a pistol made for black powder cartridges with some using smokeless powder. Check to make sure the barrel is clear of obstructions, too -- like mud or a cleaning patch or gnu's old cigar butt.

7. Never shoot at water or a hard flat surface, 'cause it'll riccochet sure'n hell.

8. If you don't know, ask someone who does or better, go find out yourself before you do something stupid.

9. THERE ARE NO "ACCIDENTS" WITH FIREARMS. THERE IS ONLY CARELESSNESS. Never forget that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 11 - 08:32 PM

Yup, I'm well acquainted with points 1 through 9, Rap. Just wondered about the sighting thing with the eyes, that's all. I always assume every gun might be loaded, just in case...no matter what...and I check carefully first to see if it is. There isn't anything I normally want to shoot...other than some kind of artificial target. If a bear decided to charge me, though, then I would shoot in self-defense if I had an appropriate weapon in my hands.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 11 - 09:24 PM

Use a .22 and shoot in the ground in front of the bear. The sudden noise might well drive the critter off, assuming that it's a real charge AND you haven't done something like get between a mother and her cubs. Better still, invest in a can of bear mace and learn to use it.

Back around 1960 a woman in Kodiak, Alaska shot and killed a 12-foot-tall Alaskan Brown Bear with one shot from a Colt Woodsman .22 pistol. The bear was going for her cubs and she shot it in the eye, managing to kill it instantly. Regardless, this is NOT recommended, nope, not at all. In fact, I strongly urge you not to mess with any sort of bear except the teddy.

I'm off to the Sho-Ban Powwow tomorrow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 11 - 11:05 PM

I will do my utmost NEVER to mess with any bear, Rap. I was just sayn' if I had no other choice left...then I would shoot. The firing a shot into the ground sounds like reasonable first attempt. I'd try it once and see if it worked. After that.....I'd aim at the bear.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 01:42 PM

Well, I don't care if you mess with a bear but you should really consider those who have to clean up afterwards.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 01:59 PM

That would be an unbearable mess. But it is always better to mess with a bear than to be messed by one.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 02:01 PM

I am comfortable with black bears because I know them. Been up against a half dozen nasty ones and never had to kill one. Once, I was without a gun but I was lucky that I was fishing at a beaver dam and I knew what to do. Another such scenario was along a brook and I was being stalked. Yet again, I was lucky becasue I found a meadow and knew what to do. Never saw the bear and it never saw me. But, after that encounter, when the new laws were enacted about being able to carry all year round, except for Sundays and during the 3 day moose season, I carried at all times if I was alone.

Now, a brown or a grizzly or A kodiak? I am thinkin rocket launcher. Although, grenades would make moosin thru the bush easier.

Hehehehe... I just recalled. Saw a nature movie when I was a lad. There's a kodiak diggin after hogs and they make a big deal about two guys carryin the big gun to the shooter and the shooter firing and being knocked down the hill by the recoil. The next thing ya see is the kodiak scratchin his arse and goin back ta diggin. Like I said... rocket launcher eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 02:25 PM

WHat was it you "knew what to do"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 04:12 PM

Poop your pants so you've greased your legs for faster running? Trip the guy you're with? Get rid of the side of bacon you're carrying?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 04:49 PM

Yes, I'd like to know too how one uses a meadow to escape from a stalking black bear. Or a beaver dam, for that matter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 05:12 PM

It's not a problem to figure out. In a meadow one can crawl down the nearest gopher hole and pull it in after. A beaver dam can be used as a club or, alternately, a Canadian can grab two beavers and hold them to his or her breast -- no true-blue Canadian bear would DARE harm a beaver!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 05:19 PM

I have posted these experiences on earlier threads and if I take the time to find them and repost same here, cool. I just don't have the energy right now to retype them. I am very tired. The meds are taking their toll. Maybe try a filter for bears? There are some good threads.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 05:24 PM

Okay...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 06:03 PM

Just got back in from mowing both back lawns...I am really tired... sorry LH... just feeling tired and dwon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 06:41 PM

It's 96F here and I just finished mowing the lawn. Rather, the guy I've just hired to mow the lawn has finished. Nice job, and it saves my poor old body. It's worth US$30 per week to have it done, considering that he carts away the clippings, trims the edges, etc.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 06:48 PM

I just finished mowing the lawn too. Must be something going around...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 08:08 PM

JAYSUS! IT'S MOWER'S DISEASE! I hear it everywhere I go! It's rampant! Is there no innoculent for this pestulence?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 08:11 PM

Move to Cuba or Trinidad. Virtually no one bothers to mow their lawns down there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 08:44 PM

That's on accounta they all grow grass. I'd grow grass here but the yella stripes would come in, cut it down and burn it.

Hmmm... that sounds like free lawn maintenance eh?

I wonder if Bobert can send me any seeds.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 09:24 PM

I thought Canada was one of them hotbeds of liberal socialistic communist fascism with socialized medicine and government-subsided lawn care. But then, the whole country's always covered with snow. Why, the last time I went up there right at the border they first asked us if we had any guns with us and then they searched the car to make sure we had snow shovels, sand, tire chains, and enough blankets and food to last for a week in case we got stuck in the snow...and it was August! But right there at the border we went from 90F to a wall of snow four feet (roughly 1.5 meters) high and temperatures of -20C. Even the mosquitoes were wearing fur parkas!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 10:14 PM

I'm starting to knit a sweater.

Something told the wild geese
It was time to go;
Though the fields lay golden
Something whispered, - 'snow'.
Leaves were green and stirring,
Berries, luster-glossed,
But beneath warm feathers
Something cautioned, - 'frost'.

All the sagging orchards
Steamed with amber spice,
But each wild breast stiffened
At remembered ice.

Something told the wild geese
It was time to fly -
Summer sun was on their wings,
Winter in their cry.

---Rachel Field


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 11:09 PM

Well, for once Idaho was hotter than North Texas. It rained last night, starting at about 3am and continuing for several hours. Delightful! It smells like compost out there now because of all of the dead turf grass and leaves out of trees.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 11 - 11:10 PM

Our lawn was also mowed today, but not by moi. Every two weeks Pepe comes by and trims and does the whole shtick for us. He is awfully kind and darn good with green things, too!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Aug 11 - 12:21 PM

All right Mopm. Break's over. Here's some fricaseed kiwifruit macaroons for a snack. Now, pick up your shovel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Aug 11 - 02:22 PM

Once a fortnight? I gotta mow at least once a week. Or shovel snow. Sometimes more often with the snow... sometimes every hour.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Aug 11 - 10:25 PM

MOM! MOM! Wake up! You were dreaming you were in a coma!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 17 Aug 11 - 10:31 PM

*phew* Two out of my three "favorite" sites were down the SAME TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was getting almost deperate enough to read the Twilight Series.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Aug 11 - 10:32 PM

THat was no coma, that was a semi-colonic!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Aug 11 - 10:32 PM

I rememeber the great crash of 11. Do you remember where I was?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 17 Aug 11 - 10:41 PM

No, I think I was out of my head at the time. I was having this dream that there was a ginormous thread on Mudcat that had been going on for years, called the MOAB......

Wait, there really is! Spooky!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 12:10 AM

I leave Pendleto., Oregon today for Kelso, WA. Glad you woke Mom up. Her alcohol-induced comas are going to HAVE to stop.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 12:25 AM

One way to prevent Mom from drifting into such extreme landscapes of unreality is to stop feeding her hallucinogenic posts.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 01:46 PM

Yeah... I see it too.

Apologies to Geroge Carlin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 01:53 PM

Oh. Well if you see it too, it's not a hallucination, is it?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 02:59 PM

Do you see that far off glow over the edge of Future Time, just ahead? That's the shine of K Forty Two!!

Many men have heard tell of this indomitable wild spirit, but none have seen her and lived to tell the tale. She is a dark whisper in the gathering places of men after work is done, a glint of fear inthe eyes of the bold and the strong, a glimmer of hope in the hearts of the young.

Some say she has never existed except as a madcap hallucination in the fevered brains of the weak, the dying, the poisoned, or the drugged. Others hear her call in the faint-lit hours before morning. Some say we will all see and know her when her Time arrives.

Forty-Two of Kay, however, say nuffin'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 03:29 PM

Oh, I missed you, MOM! I'm heading out to the wilds of Atlanta this afternoon with the brood. Don't fall in the Columbia, Rapparee.

I'll try to check in, folks, but if I can't, I'll send you some 'biled peanuts' and a postcard.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 11 - 04:46 PM

Rapp, if you DO fall into the COlumbia RIver please have your wife take pictures. I am deeply interested in gloating if possible. Also please report on the accuracy of WOody Guthrie's lyrics concerning same. (The Columbia, not the gloating). Thanks so much, you are a gentleman and a scoundrel.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Aug 11 - 05:25 PM

Run you thru, he will.


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