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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 24 Sep 11 - 03:19 PM
Rapparee 24 Sep 11 - 03:22 PM
gnu 24 Sep 11 - 03:47 PM
Amos 24 Sep 11 - 05:02 PM
Rapparee 24 Sep 11 - 06:34 PM
Amos 25 Sep 11 - 11:23 AM
Rapparee 25 Sep 11 - 12:32 PM
gnu 25 Sep 11 - 12:55 PM
Little Hawk 25 Sep 11 - 01:26 PM
Amos 25 Sep 11 - 06:09 PM
Amos 25 Sep 11 - 07:54 PM
gnu 25 Sep 11 - 08:49 PM
GUEST,Guest from Sanity 25 Sep 11 - 09:37 PM
Little Hawk 25 Sep 11 - 09:47 PM
Rapparee 26 Sep 11 - 12:00 AM
Acme 26 Sep 11 - 12:20 AM
Little Hawk 26 Sep 11 - 08:58 AM
GUEST,Guest from Sanity 26 Sep 11 - 09:37 AM
Amos 26 Sep 11 - 09:54 AM
Rapparee 26 Sep 11 - 10:21 AM
Little Hawk 26 Sep 11 - 10:22 AM
Amos 26 Sep 11 - 11:30 AM
Little Hawk 26 Sep 11 - 12:20 PM
Amos 26 Sep 11 - 01:06 PM
Little Hawk 26 Sep 11 - 01:17 PM
Rapparee 26 Sep 11 - 02:26 PM
Amos 26 Sep 11 - 04:37 PM
Little Hawk 26 Sep 11 - 04:46 PM
Amos 26 Sep 11 - 05:01 PM
Little Hawk 26 Sep 11 - 05:03 PM
Rapparee 26 Sep 11 - 09:47 PM
Rapparee 26 Sep 11 - 09:58 PM
Acme 26 Sep 11 - 10:15 PM
Amos 27 Sep 11 - 10:49 AM
Amos 27 Sep 11 - 10:51 AM
Rapparee 27 Sep 11 - 01:54 PM
Amos 27 Sep 11 - 02:10 PM
Rapparee 27 Sep 11 - 06:43 PM
Rapparee 27 Sep 11 - 07:14 PM
Little Hawk 27 Sep 11 - 08:10 PM
Rapparee 28 Sep 11 - 08:37 AM
Amos 28 Sep 11 - 10:18 AM
Rapparee 28 Sep 11 - 02:10 PM
Amos 28 Sep 11 - 03:32 PM
Little Hawk 28 Sep 11 - 04:51 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 28 Sep 11 - 05:29 PM
gnu 28 Sep 11 - 05:30 PM
Acme 28 Sep 11 - 06:08 PM
Little Hawk 28 Sep 11 - 06:12 PM
Amos 28 Sep 11 - 06:25 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 11 - 03:19 PM

My ol' buddy Billy Bob Shakespeare writ that. I remember askin' him at the time why he'd wanna strain BS but he was too far inta his cups ta say more than "If it were done when 'tis done then 'twere well it were done quickly" (one of his tongue-twisters), 'ceptin' he screwed it up an' it came out somethin' like "it wersh dun well quick" an' then he fell unconscious to the floor. Next mornin' we hauled him up to a table an' fed him Mom's patented hangover cure (a sheep's eyeball floatin' in a glass of tomato juice). He jist sorta looked at it an' said, "Tomorrow an' tomorrow an' tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day ta day, to the last syllable of recoded time, an' all our backtrails the way to dusty death." Then he said, "Hey, thas purty good. I'm gonna use that in my next play-actin' thing" an' collapsed on the floor agin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 11 - 03:22 PM

Only

5

more days!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 24 Sep 11 - 03:47 PM

til?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Sep 11 - 05:02 PM

The last syllable of recoded time is usually a checksum. But I think it would be nice to be able to recode lots of time data. For example when people get all depressed because they acted so asinine as teenagers, they could recode the time to show they were actually acting as a secret agent for the Gummint, or launching an international career of high acclaim as a poet. It woul dnot change their present circumstances, but by recoding their pasts, they would feel much better and get busy putting things right.

If Rapp really wants to make some serious dough in his retirmenet he will market a Secret Time Recoder Ring.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 11 - 06:34 PM

Politicians and dictators do it all the time, Amos. Look up the actual and the official biographies of Kim Il Sung. Or Adolph Hitler. Or G. W. Bush.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Sep 11 - 11:23 AM

Well, I know those people lie, Rapparee. But if the could RECODE time, it would shift all the agreements, you see, so they wouldn't have to lie.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 11 - 12:32 PM

But then, what would they call each other?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Sep 11 - 12:55 PM

I'd like to recode a few mammories.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Sep 11 - 01:26 PM

Mammories? Are they a relative of the dugong?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Sep 11 - 06:09 PM

Manatee has fallen on dugong road home, LH.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Sep 11 - 07:54 PM

A toast to Richard Hudson who has finally been able to get a signal out indicating he is only a couple of hundred miles from Dutch Harbor near the Aleutians, having sailed through the Northwest Passage from Toronto and the Saint Lawrence.

What a great adventure!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Sep 11 - 08:49 PM

What a wonderous adventure! Thanks A.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 25 Sep 11 - 09:37 PM

Little Hawk...No word from you yet..Did they open???

GfS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Sep 11 - 09:47 PM

Nope. I tried to open them, but it didn't work for some reason. I don't know what the problem is. Maybe I should get advice from the guys at the computer store tomorrow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 12:00 AM

Wasn't the fall of Manatee one of the deciding battles of the Canadian Civil War, with forces marching on "Nova Scotia's Old Port City" from the East while cavalry rode from the South? General du Gonge was the rebel commander if I recall correctly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 12:20 AM

I hope Mom's BS was strained before the guys on that boat got their drinking water in the creek. Otherwise they're going to feel real bad in a few hours.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 08:58 AM

The Canadian Civil War was a very brief affair. It happened in a pub in Halifax in 1882, lasted about 20 minutes, and incurred costs of about $250 to repair some broken furniture and glass. There were no fatalities, but several men needed treatment afterward for cuts and bruises, and the cops made 13 arrests, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 09:37 AM

Well hurry up!...The world is waiting!

GfS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 09:54 AM

YEr projecting again, ma'a'm.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 10:21 AM

3 (three) days to go now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 10:22 AM

Chongo has copyrighted the expression "yer", Amos. You cannot use it without his permission, and you must pay him royalties whenever you do. This also applies to "YER", "Yer", "YEr", "yEr", and "yeR", so don't think you can wiggle out of it by introducing some such minor variation in upper or lower case.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 11:30 AM

SOrry, Mister H., but perior usage is rampant long before that fuzz-brained poop-slinger was first imagined. No such copyright would hold water, and certainly would not be granted in the US. Or was it Sierra Leone where he applied?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 12:20 PM

LOL! Good guess. Look, something can be around almost forever, but until someone has the idea of copyrighting it, it's basically up for grabs.

Chongo copyrighted the expression "yer" (and all its derivatives) in February of 2011. He now owns the expression "yer". Chongo can say "Yer an asshole!" anytime he wants, but if anyone else says it, they have to pay him 10 cents through Paypal. He figures that this alone will be enough to finance his 2012 campaign and propel him to the White House, and I think he may well be right.

It was a brilliant strategic move. The corporates aren't gonna know what hit them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 01:06 PM

I'm sorry, but single words in common parlance cannot be copyrighted. Further I would bring to your attention that it is a violation of Federal code of Trademark and Copyright laws to claim a copyright or seek to inure copyright from a copyright where no copyright has been filed or granted. Your chimpanzee, furthermore, has no standing to file for any copyright, for U.S. purposes, as he is an imaginary artifact and was born in an alien brain.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 01:17 PM

Your naivete' regarding the entire situation shocks and saddens me, Amos. How are you going to react when Chongo Chimp takes the oath of office in January of 2013? I think you should take a reality pill, hunker down, and face the fact that REAL change is just over the horizon. Yes, my friend, the familiar world you have so long relied upon, the comfy world of cuddly, lovable Democrats and hateful, homophobic Republicans is about to come crashing down around your ears. Don't be caught napping when it does!

(Note that I did not say "yer" ears. And that didn't count either, because I put "yer" in quotes. I will not have to Paypal 20 cents to Chongo for those 2 uses of "yer". Ummm...make that 3 uses of....you know...)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 02:26 PM

Musta been last yer when I found out that ol' Doc Johnson went and copyrighted the dictionary. Noah Webster, here in the State, wrote one fer Americans some yers later, and the Merriam-Webster company has done gone and made one of yer "international cabals" with the OED folks, thereby controlling all of the words that are er ever was in the English Language. Iffen yer speaking any form of English yer better ta watch yer backtrail, cuz them Dictionary Police might be on to you in their black hellykopters and stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 04:37 PM

Maybe they could just flit over the Reality Horizon and track down that chimp who is causing poor Hawkster so much grief. The dissonancemust be unbearable!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 04:46 PM

It's only unbearable when the local idiot goes by in his "boom" car.

THOOOMP!!! THOOOOMP!!! THOOOOMP!!!

I'll have to see if I can get hold of one of them IEDs from the Taliban...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 05:01 PM

Just ask Chongo--I believe he is on a professional friendly footing with them!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 05:03 PM

Maybe so. I will ask him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 09:47 PM

Do you know who this idiot is who disturbs the public peace? If so, epoxy the door to his gas cap shut. Done carefully it won't be visible from the outside. Use heavy duty epoxy.

Or put a potato on his tailpipe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 09:58 PM

EVANSTON, Ill., Sept. 23 (UPI) -- U.S. chemists say a class of natural nanostructures made of sugar, salt and alcohol can capture and store carbon dioxide while being carbon neutral themselves.

The porous crystals known as metal-organic frameworks or MOFs are made from all-natural ingredients and are simple to prepare, giving them a huge advantage over other MOFs usually prepared from materials derived from crude oil and often incorporating toxic heavy metals, researchers at Northwestern University said.

"By preparing our MOFs from naturally derived ingredients, we are not only making materials that are entirely nontoxic, but we are also cutting down on the carbon dioxide emissions associated with their manufacture," study co-author Ross S. Forgan said.

The "organic" Northwestern MOFs turn red when completely full of carbon dioxide and the carbon capture process is reversible, a Northwestern release said Friday.

The natural nanostructure's main component is a naturally occurring biorenewable sugar molecule known as gamma-cyclodextrin derived from cornstarch.

"I think this is a remarkable demonstration of how simple chemistry can be successfully applied to relevant problems like carbon capture and sensor technology," study co-author Ronald A. Smaldone said.


Salt, sugar, grease, chocolate and alcohol -- the five essential food groups -- prove their worth again!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Sep 11 - 10:15 PM

Projecting? Me? I was simply concerned for the health of the individual in the photo on the log you posted. MOM was a little bit worried herself, until I explained that he wasn't getting water in the creek behind the house, it's a little further away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 11 - 10:49 AM

OH, no, ma'am, not you, ma'am. I was referring to the other ma'a'm, who, in the post just prior to mine, had identified herself as "the whole world".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 11 - 10:51 AM

THe water in the creek in question is highly recommended by the Sailing Directions for Arctic Canadian waters. The creek is called Freshwater for reasons lost in antiquity.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Sep 11 - 01:54 PM

THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW!! HURRAH!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Sep 11 - 02:10 PM

How did i KNOW??????? I KNEW your post was going to say that before i opened it!!!!!!! Wow!! That is so far OUUUUUT, man, y'know? Groovy!

Actually, for me, it starts tomorrow night with a red-eye to Atlanta.

Flying on the Continental Redeye
Landing in Atlanta in my sleep.
Stagger to a connecting plane
That lands in Baltimore
Just before the traffic starts to creep.


(Excerpt from the chart-busting pop hit "Red Eye to Atlanta", by Jimmy John and the Jimjammers, Motown Records, 1972).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Sep 11 - 06:43 PM

Well, it IS an important day. Perhaps more important than Christmas, New Year's, the Fourth of July, Guy Fawkes, and all of them put together!

Let's hear it now:

Always remember
The 29th of September....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Sep 11 - 07:14 PM

Shucks, I'm jist an ol' romantic....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Sep 11 - 08:10 PM

Very amusing! ;-) It's nice to see people staying that light-hearted under the pressure of all that solemnity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 08:37 AM

You obviously haven't been married. For example, my brother dropped the ring into shag carpet just as the bride started up the aisle and he and the best man were on their knees looking for it -- fortunately they found it just in time. As he ritually greeted his groomsmen he shook our hands and said "Peace on you."

Of course, he viewed the whole thing as a necessary piece of theater.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 10:18 AM

TONIGHT!!




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 02:10 PM

TOMORROW: The Greatest And Most Important Day Of The Year!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 03:32 PM

Four more hours til my weary corpse folds up in a cramped Delta tube.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 04:51 PM

What in the heck are you guys on about? What is so important about tomorrow?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 05:29 PM

The thing that is so special about tomorrow is...I am gettin' a brand new hat. The old one's startin' to look shabby, and I gotta keep up appearances just like Philip Marlowe or Bogart would do.

Also, I was gonna post the 42,200th post tomorrow.

But the numbers advanced too fast for that.

So I am postin' it now instead.

42,200 !!!!

Ook! Ook! ;-D

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 05:30 PM

LH... a hint.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 06:08 PM

So it'll just be me and the chimp here keeping MOM afloat while you guys frolic in lovely Ballermer?

Have fun, say "hello!" to everyone for me!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 06:12 PM

Oh! Okay, I get it. Damn shame Chongo won't be able to attend, eh? He's too busy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 06:25 PM

Nah, Raparee ain't coming. He dinged his ulnar metatempsychosis and the Doc says he's not allowed to think anything for a week.


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