Lyr Req: The Dogs' Party/Dogs' Meeting

Subject: Lyr Req: The Dogs' Party
From: GUEST,John M
Date: 07 Jul 03 - 08:59 PM

The thread on "Piddling Pete" brought to mind a song I heard some years ago about a dogs party which ended in confusion and each dog
went home with the wrong arsehole. The last line of the song goes like
"And now whenever dogs meet, on land or sea or foam, each smells the other's arsehole to see if it's his own". Can anyone please supply the full lyrics?

Subject: DTADD: The Dogs' Party
From: Midchuck
Date: 07 Jul 03 - 09:06 PM

THE DOGS' PARTY

The dogs held a convention, they came from near and far.
And some dogs came by taxi, and some by motorcar.
And at the registration, they all signed in the book.
And each dog hung his asshole upon a separate hook.

One dog was not invited, and this aroused his ire.
He ran into the meeting, and there he shouted "fire!"
And in the mass confusion, the dogs forgot to look,
And each dog grabbed an asshole, from of the nearest hook.

The dogs ran from the meeting, they scattered far and wide,
And which dog had which asshole, they never could decide.
And now whenever dogs meet, on land or sea or foam,
Each sniffs the other's asshole, in hopes that it's his own.

(melody is "The Church's One Foundation.")

Peter.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Dogs' Party
From: JennieG
Date: 07 Jul 03 - 09:09 PM

John,

The version I know can be sung to the tune "Lincolnshire poacher", and where the lyrics say *** the performer knocks on something 3 times - guitar, chair, whatever. The last line of each verse is usually repeated too.

The dogs they had a concert, they came from near and far,
And some they came by aeroplane, and some by motor car,
Before into the concert hall they were allowed to look,
Each dog had to take off his *** and hang it on a hook.

No sooner were they seated there, each mother, son and sire
Than a dirty little yellow dog began to holler "Fire!"
Out they rushed in panic, they didn't stop to look,
Each dog just grabbed a *** from off the nearest hook.

So that's the reason why you see on walking down the street
Each dog will stop and swap a smell with every dog he meets,
And that's the reason why a dog will leave a good fat bone
To go and smell a *** in hopes to find his own.

I have also heard it recited instead of sung, and the word arsehole is used instead of the 3 knocks.

Have fun!
Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Dogs' Party
From: Malcolm Douglas
Date: 07 Jul 03 - 09:28 PM

See also these previous:

DOGS MEETING  (DT, with tune; evidently from John Roberts and Tony Barrand, but no other information given).

Song re dogs sniffing rear ends  Includes Australian text, set to The Lincolnshire Poacher, and fragmentary text of unspecified origin to The Church's One Foundation.

Great Australian Folk Song  All sorts of stuff, including more from Australia.

There are probably more, but searches for asshole or arsehole just take too long nowadays.

Subject: Lyr Add: DOGS THEY HAD A PARTY (from Bryan Bowers)
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 10:30 AM

The Dogs They had a Party
As stolen from Brian Bowers, at the Bottom Line, 1970's

The dogs they had a Party
They came from near and far
Some dogs came by taxi
And some dogs came by car.

Each dog signed his na-ame all in a little book
And each dog hung his asshole upon a little hook.

One dog was not invited
And this aroused his ire--
He stormed into the party
And loudly shouted fire.

The dogs were so excited
They didn't stop to look
But grabbed the nearest a-asshole
From off the nearest hook.

This is a very sad story,
For it is awful sore
To wear another's asshole
You've never worn before.

And this is why,
When dogs meet,
On land, or air or foam,
They sniff each other's
A-asshole, in case it is their own.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Dogs' Party
From: Megan L
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 06:13 PM

this brings back memories, years ago my dad laundered the song to make it more suitable for us bairns so the version i learned had the dogs cheking for thier own tail.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Dogs' Party
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Jul 03 - 08:39 PM

Thanks for the replies. I'll be singing it before the weekend.
John M.

Subject: Lyr Add: WHY DOGS LEAVE A NICE FAT BONE
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 09 Jul 03 - 10:20 AM

I believe there have been previous threads on this one, but just for those interested in "sourcing" - or the slightly variant phrasing:

A Book of Vulgar Verse, by A Gentleman About Town, Checker Books, Toronto, 1981, ISBN 0-89009-411-X

WHY DOGS LEAVE A NICE FAT BONE
Anonymous

The dogs once held a meeting
They came from near and far;
Some came in automobiles,
Some came in a car.

But before, inside the hail,
They were allowed to take a look,
They had to take their assholes off,
And hang them on a hook.

They all walked in, one by one,
Mother, son and sire,
But no sooner were they seated
Than someone hollered, "Fire!"

Then they all rushed out in a bunch,
They had no time to look;
So each one grabbed an asshole
And ran it off the hook.

They got their assholes all mixed up,
It made them awfully sore.
To think they'd lost the asshole
They'd always worn before.

And that's the reason why
When you go down the street,
A dog will stop and swap a smell
With every dog he meets.

And that's the reason why
A dog will leave nice fat bone,
To smell another's asshole,
In hopes to find his own.

A slightly longer(?) version parodies(the right description?) the Union Hall Fire, and my recollection is it was in SingOut! a couple of years back. The initial lines were extended to "explain" that the dogs were meeting for some purpose relating to organizing to improve some social condition - and it is a band of "drunken cats outside," who were excluded from the meeting, and who yelled "fire."

John

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Dogs' Party
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 10 Jul 03 - 10:18 AM

G'day,

I'm not too sure of the import of JohnInKansas's:
"... but just for those interested in "sourcing" ...A Book of Vulgar Verse, by A Gentleman About Town, Checker Books, Toronto, 1981, ..." -
however, the version alluded to above by JennieG was collected in Lithgow, New South Wales, Australia by John Meredith in 1954.

As it went to the tune (and used the "Knock, knock, knock" device) of the novelty pop song The Thing, that particular version would seem to have been fairly new at that time.

Regards,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Dogs' Party
From: Jim McLean
Date: 10 Jul 03 - 05:56 PM

I remember Alex Campbell singing a version of this song and it was always in his repertoire from the early sixties when he first appeared on the (English) folkscene.
Jim McLean

Subject: Add Version: The Dog's Meeting
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 13 Sep 03 - 03:30 PM

Another I was transcribing for a friend.

~ Becky in Tucson

THE DOG'S MEETING
Sung by Bill Boundy of Lithgow, New South Wales, in Folk Songs of Australia (John Meredith and Hugh Anderson)

Oh, the dogs once held a concert, they came from near and far,
Oh, some they came by aeroplane and some by motor car.
Before into the concert hall they were allowed to look,
each dog had to take his (knock, knock-knock) and hang it on a hook.
Oh, each dog had to take his (knock, knock-knock) and hang it on a hook.

Oh, hardly were they seated there, each mother, son and sire,
when a dirty little yeller dog began to holler, "Fire!"
Out they rushed in panic -- they didn't stop to look --
each dog he grabbed a (knock, knock-knock) from off the nearest hook.
Each dog he grabbed a (knock, knock-knock) from off the nearest hook.

And that's the reason why you see, on walking down the street,
each dog will stop and swap a smell with every dog he meets.
And that's the reason why a dog will leave a good fat bone
to go and smell a (knock, knock-knock) in hope to find his own.
To go and smell a (knock, knock-knock) in hope to find his own.

T: The Dog's Meeting
N: as sung by Bill Boundy of Lithgow, New South Wales, recorded in Meredith, John and Hugh Anderson, Folk Songs of Australia (Ure Press, Sydney,1968)
K: G
M: 6/8
L: 1/8
d2d | G2G G2B | d2d z2d | e2 f g2 e | d5 d |
G2G G2B | d2d d2B | A2A A2B | A3 z2 d |
G2G G2B d2d d2d | e2f g2a | f3 z2 f |
ggg g2e | (d2d d2)d | g2g a2f | g3 b2a |
ggg g2e | (d2d d2)d | g2g a2f | g3 ||

---

I moved this message here from another thread on the same topic.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Dogs' Party/Dogs' Meeting
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 13 Sep 03 - 03:50 PM

(Thanks, Joe, or clone, for switching my post to the right thread. I check to see if Mary's Ass was already in here, but forgot to check on this one.)

(Those reading this later may not realize that Mary is not one of the dogs, but a character in another song that I posted the same morning. ;-) )

~ B in T

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Dogs' Party/Dogs' Meeting
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Jan 09 - 10:58 PM

The version below used to be sung by 2 guys with guitars in O'Neill's Pub in Aberdeen, Scotland every week in the mid 90s.


Now, the dogs they had a party, they came from near and far.
Some dogs came by aeroplane, and some by motorcar.
And at the registration, they all signed the visitors' book.
And each dog hung his arsehole upon a separate hook.

Now, one dog was not invited, and this aroused his ire.
He ran into the meeting, and he loudly shouted "FIRE!"
And in the mass confusion, they had no time to look,
And each dog grabbed an arsehole, from off the nearest hook.

The dogs ran from the meeting, they scattered far and wide,
And which dog had which arsehole, they never could decide.
And that is why when two dogs meet, on land or sea or foam,
Each sniffs the other's arsehole, and hopes to find his own.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Dogs' Party/Dogs' Meeting
From: GUEST,Ian Fletcher
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 05:55 PM

I'm from the 'black country' in the midlands (uk) and my nan always used to sing me a version of this rhyme which is probably one specific to this region (we always seem to have our own versions!!)

I'm gonna go find the full thing from her but the joke was in the singing / saying of the lines by adding a 'H' where there isn't meant to be one. It started like this....

The dogs all had a party
They hired the (h)albert hall.
Each dame went with her sire
(h)And hung their (h)arseholes (h)on the wall.

Used to have me in tears, I'm sure it will again when she says it!!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: The Dogs' Party/Dogs' Meeting
From: GUEST,Simon Neil
Date: 07 Nov 09 - 05:12 AM

I heard this years ago, but could never remember the penultimate verse!

The Reason Why

The Dogs they held a meeting they came from near and far some by automobile and some by trolley car

Once inside the building they were allowed to look each one took his arsehole off and hung it on a hook

No sooner were they seated every mother, son and sire a scuffy liitle mongrel jumped up and shouted FIRE!

They ran out of the building they had no time to look each one grabbed at random an arsehole from a hook

And that is why a dog will leave a nice fat juicey bone to sniff the arse of another dog and hope to find his own!