Lyr Req: Invisible backward facing grocer

Subject: Lyr Req: Invisible backward facing grocer
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 10:53 AM

Anyone know this? It was extant in the early 70s, even before the famous MP for Bexhill and Sidcup and former grocer, Edward Heath, became Britain's first invisible backward-facing Prime Minister. With has the chorus Don't try to peer through the holes in the glass/
Speak at the opaque space provided, and including such poetic gems as One day as football was turning to cricket/And the roar of the traffic was drowned by birds, it tells the story of John Green, grocer, who loves his work but can't stand the public; inspired by a railway ticket office, among other things, he installs an opaque glass screen on his counter with a little slot at the bottom to pass out the goods.

Mike James used to sing it at the Fitter's Arms, Walsall. Sounds a bit like a Leon Rosselsson song, but I don't think it is.

Steve

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Invisible backward facing grocer
From: greg stephens
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 11:17 AM

It is one of Alasdair Clayre's (may have spelt this wrong) songs. I'm sure a search will reveal a lot about him, as long as you try a few ways to spell his name! He wrote a lot of songs in the 60/70's, made radio programmes for Charles Parker etc etc.I have got the words and music for this somewhere, but it's buried deep in a box and I dont know where. Sorry!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Invisible backward facing grocer
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 11:35 AM

Edward Heath was MP for Bexley and Sidcup. Bexhill would have meant a constiuency which stretched from SE London across Kent and Surrey, to the Sussex coast !

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Invisible backward facing grocer
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 11:41 AM

Well, I'm sure it wouldn't have been for the want of him trying, Dave! Although that kind of megalomania is more associated with grocers' daughters than with grocers, of course.

Greg, Ithink you've spelt AC's names correctly -- I've got his 100 Folk Songs and New Songs at home; although IBFG isn't in it. Google didn't turn up anything for "invisible backward facing": astonishing -- you'd think there'd be tons of stuff under that heading!

Let's see what it gets for "Alasdair Clayre".

Steve

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Invisible backward facing grocer
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 11:48 AM

Eighty-one, mostly for our Alasdair; but not a backward-facing sausage. Oh well, over to you again ...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Invisible backward facing grocer
From: mack/misophist
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 12:04 PM

Somebody please find and post it. I love the idea.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Invisible backward facing grocer
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 12:10 PM

Google gets a couple of hits with "invisible backwards facing" but neither go much further than confirming Alasdair Clayre as the spelling

Subject: Lyr/Chords Add: INVISIBLE BACKWARDS-FACING GROCER
From: Leadfingers
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 05:55 PM

John Green the grocer lived a peaceful life
He kept his mother to feed and protect him
And he never ever dared go look for a wife
Fearing that women would all reject him
One spring when football was changing to cricket
And the roar of the traffic was drowned by birds
When he went to buy his Springtime season ticket
At the booking office window he read these words

Chorus
Dont try to peer through the hole in the glass
Speak at the opaque space provided

He boarded his diesel with a thoughtful air
And saw the little schoolgirls dressed in black
Sat up at the front seats combing their hair
In the massive shadow of the drivers back
And he thought if those girls saw my face
They would giggle with a tinkling feminine sound
So I'll buy a sheet of glass with an opaque space
And serve in my shop with my back turned round
saying:-

So the very next day his customers saw
The space above the counter taken
By a sheet of glass not there before
There was no reply when they asked for bacon
One of the customers peered wide eyed
But all she could see was the back of a head
Then a hand edged out with their bacon tied
And a neatly printed card which read

Now the customers talked and the press came to
They pried and they peered but they couldnt closer
And soon the whole wondering nation knew
Its invisible backward facing grocer
His gentlemanly ability to hide all feeling
Made the breasts of the League of Political Women stir
And John Green rose via M.P. for Ealing
To Invisible backward Facing Prime minister
Saying in Parliament And in the Cabinet And sometimes quietly to himself in the bath :-

Inspired by British Rail doing away with the old grills at booking offices and replacing them with Shatterproof Plastiglass with a circular space that was audio clear. AND there was a sign that said
Dont try to peer through the hole in the glass,Speak at the opaque space provided.

Not a bad effort cosidering I havent sung this for about ten years.If
any one wants the chords I will have to look up the book when I get home.Or PM me and I might be able to e-mail the dots.

Subject: Lyr/Chords Add: INVISIBLE BACKWARDS-FACING GROCER
From: allanwill
Date: 14 Oct 03 - 03:01 AM

From a book (circa 1966) I have that has lost its cover, so unfortunately I can't quote it:

THE INVISIBLE BACKWARDS-FACING GROCER WHO ROSE TO FAME.

Words and Music by Alasdair Clayre.

John (C) Green the grocer lived a (G7) hesitant (C) life,
he (G) kept his mother to (C) feed and pro-(G7)-tect him,
and he (C) would not dare to (G7) look for a (C) wife,
for he (G) dreaded that women would (G7) all re-(C)-ject him.

One (G) Spring as (F) football (G) was changing to (G7) cricket,
and the (G) roar of the (F) traffic was (C) drowned by (G) birds,
as he (C) went to buy his Springtime (G7) season (C) ticket,
at the (G) booking office window he (G7) read these (Am) words:

(G) Don't try to peer through the (F) holes in the glass,
(G) speak at the opaque (G7) space pro-(C)-vided.

He caught his diesel with a thoughtful air
and saw the little schoolgirls dressed in black,
crushed up on the front seat, combing their hair
in the massive shadow of the driver's back.
And he thought; When those girls see my face,
they giggle with a feminine, tinkling sound.
I will buy a sheet of glass with an opaque space
and serve in the shop with my back turned round.

Saying; Don't try to peer throught the holes in the glass,
speak at the opaque space provided.

The very next day the customers saw
the space above the counter taken
by a sheet of glass not there before;
there was no reply when they asked for bacon.
One of the regulars peered wide-eyed
but all she could see was the back of a head.
Then a hand edged out with her bacon tied
and a neatly printed card which read:

Don't try to peer through the holes in the glass,
speak at the opaque space provided.

Allan

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Invisible backward facing grocer
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 14 Oct 03 - 05:09 AM

I posted to this thread about an hour ago, and it's disappeared! Well, I'll try again ...

Thanks both for the words. I can still recall the tune. Wonder if I can re-learn the words in time for Thursday night?

Steve