Song re dogs sniffing rear ends

Subject: Song re dogs sniffing rear ends
From: Katherine Rhoda
Date: 09 Sep 98 - 12:14 PM

Does anyone know, please, the origin/authorship of the song (sung to the tune of the hymn "The Church's One Foundation") the following?

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

The dogs once had a meeting, they came from far and near
They came in automobiles with a loud hurrah and cheer
But before upon the meeting they were allowed to look
They had to take their a******* off and hang them on a hook.

Then in the hall they went at once, each mother, son and sire,
But barely were they seated when someone hollered "Fire!"
Then out they ran all in a rush, they had no time to look,
And each one grabbed an a****** at random from the hook.

They got their a******* all mixed up, it made them awful sore
To think they did not get the one they always had before.
And that's the reason why a dog will leave a nice, fat bone
To go and smell an a****** in hopes he'll find his own.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Please excuse the transparent absurdity of the asterisks. I don't know this website's guidelines, if any, on earthy language, and am trying to be as respectful as possible while asking a question about a crude song.

Thanks very much,
Katherine Rhoda

Subject: RE: Song re dogs sniffing rear ends
From: Barbara
Date: 09 Sep 98 - 12:35 PM

Katherine, if you enter a key word into the box upper right, you will find the songs in the database. The word "asshole" will get you a number of hits, including the Dogs Meeting, the tune, and the information that it is performed by John (Roberts) and Tony (Barrand).
I thought I had perhaps heard Stan Hugill's name associated with it, but I'm sure other Mudcatters will know more.
Thank you for being considerate of my finer sensibilities, they're around here somewhere, I know it, I expect them to show up any day now...
Blessings,
Barbara

Subject: RE: Song re dogs sniffing rear ends
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 09 Sep 98 - 06:39 PM

G'day Katherine,

We have in Australia a version of the "Dogs' Meeting" or the "Dogs' Festival" collected in the inland town of Gulgong during the 1950s by folklorist John Meredith.

Although local rumour claims that the verses were dashed off by poet Henry Lawson to fund a few more drinks (circa 1910), I suspect that it is more recent since it uses the tune "Lincolnshire Poacher" as modified for a 1950s (?) novelty song "The Thing" in which the words concealed are replaced by a spoken "Boom, boom, boom" or some other substitute such as three 'tambor' beat on the face of the performer's guitar.

The words, tune and details are in "Folk Songs of Australia and the men and women who sang them", John Meredith and Hugh Anderson, Rigby (?), c. 1965 - if I remember correctly. I must now look into the DT and see what else of the history can be gleaned. I know the Australian version was picked up by visting English singers in the 1960s but I would not claim authorship for us (and I don't know if I would want to anyway!)>

Regards,

Bob Bolton

Subject: Lyr Add: THE DOGS' MEETING and THE CHANDLER'S SHOP
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 10 Sep 98 - 06:14 PM

G'day all,

This is the gen on 'The Dog's Meeting' as collected in Australia. At least this time I have the publisher correct (I realised my error as I sent the reply away).

From 'Folk Songs of Australia and the men and women who sang them', John Meredith and Hugh Anderson, Ure Smith, Sydney, 1967. The following text is written by Hugh Anderson, describing the collecting of this song by John Meredith in the 1950s (c. 1957, as the Sloanes still lived in Lithgow).

"Several elderly people have told John Meredith that Henry Lawson wrote 'The Dogs' Meeting' as well as the well-known 'Shearer's Lament'. When John was taking part in a concert at Mudgee, some time ago, an old man told him he was with Lawson when he wrote it. They were sitting, the old chap said, on a seat outside one of the local pubs watching the dogs do what dogs do when they meet, and afterwards, in the bar, Henry wrote out the ballad and read it aloud. There are certainly a lot of dogs about Mudgee streets even today and Lawson certainly knew his dogs (see, for example, 'The Shearing of the Cook's Dog', 'That There Dog of Mine', 'The Loaded Dog'. or 'Two Dogs and a Fence'), but whether he actually wrote these verses has been doubted by several reputable authorities.

When Bill Boundy sang 'The Dogs' Meeting' he thumped on a table with a boom, boom-boom rhythm in place of some words. A popular song of a few years ago, sung to the same tune, used the same method of replacing words with a thump, thump-thump."

THE DOGS' MEETING

Oh, the dogs once held a concert,
They came from near and far,
Oh, some they came by aeroplane,
And some by motorcar.
Before into the concert hall
They were allowed to look,
Each dog had to take his (boom, boom-boom)
And hang it on a hook.
Oh, each dog had to take his (boom, boom-boom)
And hang it on a hook.

Oh, hardly were they seated there,
Each mother, son and sire,
When a dirty little yeller dog
Began to holler 'Fire!'
Out they rushed in panic -
They didn't stop to look -
Each dog he grabbed a (boom, boom-boom)
From off the nearest hook.
Oh, each dog he grabbed a (boom, boom-boom)
From off the nearest hook.

And that's the reason why you see,
On walking down the street,
Each dog will stop and swap a smell
With every dog he meets.
And that's the reason why a dog
Will leave a big fat bone
To go and smell a (boom, boom-boom)
In hope to find his own.
To go and smell a (boom, boom-boom)
In hope to find his own.

'The Dogs' Meeting' was recorded at Fred Sloane's house in Lithgow. When Boundy had completed his song, Fred remarked that he had never heard it sung before, only as a recitation, so Meredith recorded him as well.

It will be seen from the latter part of the quote that the words precede the pop song ('The Thing') using the same tune and device. It may be that Lawson did write the poem and the appearance of the pop song prompted setting the words to the same tune/structure. Anderson notes that "... whether he actually wrote these verses has been doubted by several reputable authorities." Of course, this is what "reputable authorities" do ...

Another interesting aspect in all this relates to another song - once more to the 'Lincolnshire Poacher' tune and coyly using with a (boom, boom-boom), or similar device. This is what I have known since ~ 1962 as 'The Chandler's Wife'. In fact I gave a version of this to John Meredith around late 1962 at the time he was looking for bawdy material, much of which was subsequently published in 'Snatches and Lays or songs Miss Lilywhite never taught us', "Sebastian Hogbotel & Simon Ffuckes", Sun Books, 1973.

The version I find in my current copy of the expanded version; 'More Snatches and Lays ', "Hogbotel & Ffuckes", Sun Books Pty Ltd, The MacMillan Co of Australia, South Melbourne, 1983, is two verses short of mine and transferred to the third person, so I don't think I can (or would wish to) claim it as my submission.

As I remember it, my version went:

THE CHANDLER'S SHOP
To the tune 'The Lincolnshire Poacher'

When I went down to the chandler's shop, some candles for to buy,
Very annoyed was I to find - no chandler could I spy;
But as I turned around to leave, I heard above my head -
I heard the sound of a (boom, boom-boom), right above my head.
Oh, I heard the sound of a (boom, boom-boom), right above my head.

Now I was quick and I was young, so up the stairs I sped,
And very surprised was I to find, the chandler's wife in bed.
With her was another of a quite considerable size
And they were having a (boom, boom-boom), right before my eyes.
Yes, they were having a (boom, boom-boom), right before my eyes.

When the fun was over and the lady raised her head,
Very surprised was she to find me standing by her bed.
"Now if you will be discreet my lad, if you will be so kind,
You can come round for some (boom, boom-boom), whenever you feel inclined.
Oh, you can come round for some (boom, boom-boom), whenever you feel inclined.

So many times and often, when the chandler wasn't at home,
To get myself some candles, to the chandler's shop I'd roam;
But never a one she gave to me - she gave to me instead -
A little bit more of the (boom, boom-boom) to light my way to bed!
A little bit more of the (boom, boom-boom) to light my way to bed.

So all you married men beware, take heed of what I've said.
If you would leave your wife at home, then tie her to the bed -
Or, if you be more kind, good sir, then lay her out on the floor ...
And give her so much of the (boom, boom-boom) she won't want any more -
Yes, give her so much of the (boom, boom-boom) she won't want any more.

Now the interesting question is: just how old is this song? I believe I learned it from the late Declan Affley - a locally noted Irish singer, despite being born in Wales (but raised in an Irish Navvies' ghetto!) but I can no longer ask him where he learned it. I must check with the DT to see if there is a version there.

Was this song simply inspired by the pop song or was it (or a similar song) the sub rosa inspiration for the pop song? The wide use of the 'Lincolnshire Poacher' tune can only go back to the start of this century but was this the original tune? I note that the version of 'The Dogs' Meeting' that started this thread goes to 'The Church's One Foundation' so the tune is not a reliable indicator.

Regards,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Song re dogs sniffing rear ends
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Feb 04 - 06:42 PM

Subject: RE: Song re dogs sniffing rear ends
From: lady penelope
Date: 20 Feb 04 - 06:55 PM

The version I know is Matt Maguin and is on "The man with two heids".


TTFN Lady P.

Subject: RE: Song re dogs sniffing rear ends
From: cobber
Date: 20 Feb 04 - 09:06 PM

Hi again Bob,

The version of the dog's meeting we recorded was from Bill Boundy and we always introduced it with the Lawson story and over many years, never met the "reputable authorities" who doubted it. Collecting bawdy songs around Australia was a hobby of mine in the late sixties and I heard a similar song to yours - I think in Townsville when I was living there is 66-67. It was also to the Lincolnshire Poacher and went like this:

The baker's boy to the Chandler went, some candles for to buy
But when he got upon the spot, no one could he espy
And just as he was about to leave, thinking that all was dead
He heard the sound of a rubbity-dub right above his head

Now the baker's boy was cunning and wise and he crept up those stairs
He went into the bedroom and he caught them unawares
For there he found the butcher's boy tween the chandler's missus's thighs
And they were having a rubbity-dub right before his eyes

Now the chandler's wife got such a fright that she jumped out of bed
And she turned to the baker's boy and this is what she said
If you will just my secret keep, then bear this fact in mind
You can always come round for a ribbity-dub whenever you feel inclined

Now the baker's boy was filled with joy at the prospect of such fun
He vowed he'd leap upon the bed when the butcher's boy had done
But when he came to the shorter strokes as he shagged that chandler's wife
He vowed he'd have a rubbity-dub, every day of his life

But in the morn when he awoke, all over he did shake
His back was sore, his balls were raw, all over he did quake
And when he looked at his Long Tom he saw he'd done the trick
The consequence of his rubbity-dub was pimples on his prick

Now to the doctor he did go, some ointment for to buy
The doctor looked him up and down and heaved a mighty sigh
My boy! My boy! the doctor said, You've been a bloody fool
You'll never more have a rubbity-dub, I'm gonna cut off your tool

So listen to the baker's boy for he should surely know
An enthusiastic amateur is worse that any pro
And if you would a-wooing go and self control you lack
Whenever you have a rubbity-dub be sure to wear a mac.

I'm pretty sure I got this at the James Cook Uni in Townsville so it must have been in circulation. The fairly literary style suggests that it probably came from one of the uni songbooks that were popular then and the reference to a "mac" suggests that it's probably English. It's a great song, if you pick the right audience.

Subject: RE: Song re dogs sniffing rear ends
From: Folkiedave
Date: 21 Feb 04 - 02:19 PM

I wonder if the person who was thinking Stan Hugill sang this was actually thinking of the sailing barge skipper, Bob Roberts who certainly included this in his repertoire.

Regards,

Dave

Subject: RE: Song re dogs sniffing rear ends
From: breezy
Date: 21 Feb 04 - 04:23 PM

trust the aussie one to be the crude version!! rugby clubs only?

Thanks guys

Dave Webber does Bob Roberts but I cant see him going this un

Subject: Lyr Add: THE DOGS' PARTY
From: Duane D.
Date: 21 Feb 04 - 06:34 PM

The version we used to sing in NJ came from Mike Agranoff. I don't know where he got it, possibly folk processized from John and Tony. This version is "The Dogs' Party."

                  The Dogs' Party

The dogs, they had a party, they came from near and far.
Some dogs came by taxi and others came by car.
They went into the meeting house and signed the visitors book
and each dog hung his asshole from off a separate hook.

One dog was not invited, which greatly raised his ire.
He went into the meeting house and loudly hollered, "FIRE."
So great was the confusion, the dogs forgot to look
and each dog grabbed an asshole from off the nearest hook.

Now if you've ever tried it, you know it makes you very sore
to wear another's asshole you've never worn before.
So now each time that dogs meet, no matter where you roam,
each sniffs the other's asshole and hopes it is his own.




Next time I see Mike Agranoff I'll ask him where he got it.

Duane.

Subject: RE: Song re dogs sniffing rear ends
From: GUEST,Angie
Date: 08 Jan 09 - 08:51 PM

I thought it originated in Indiana on the Bob and Tom show. I thought Jimmy Reiser had a part in this, but I might be completely off.

Subject: RE: Song re dogs sniffing rear ends
From: Joybell
Date: 08 Jan 09 - 09:45 PM

Do you mean the version given by Duane, Angie? Because that radio show dates from 1983. Versions of "The Dogs' Meeting" date from collections in the 1950s. It was almost certainly around before that in Aus. There's more on the threads at the top here.
Cheers, Joy

Subject: RE: Song re dogs sniffing rear ends
From: GUEST,WahooCreek
Date: 03 Apr 09 - 11:55 PM

I've heard a version of the "Dogs' Meeting" song that includes lyrics along the lines of black dogs having white assholes and white dogs having black. Anybody else heard this?

Subject: RE: Song re dogs sniffing rear ends
From: Peace
Date: 04 Apr 09 - 01:57 AM

Here's a laugh to go along with the song.

"Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both."

Subject: RE: Song re dogs sniffing rear ends
From: Neil D
Date: 04 Apr 09 - 01:49 PM

Ahhh Peace,
    You always make me laugh or smile when I least expect it and need it most. Thanks!

                                           Christina

Subject: RE: Song re dogs sniffing rear ends
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Jun 09 - 03:38 PM

does anybody know the book that has "The Dog Meeting" as a childrens book....its obviously more cleaned up than the lyrics here

Subject: RE: Song re dogs sniffing rear ends
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 05 Jun 09 - 04:58 PM

You mean songs about Gordon Brown??

Subject: RE: Song re dogs sniffing rear ends
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Jul 09 - 07:14 AM

My dad used to regale us with a shorter version of 'The Dog's Meeting (poem) when we were kids.... Dad was born in 1946, and heard it recited by 'Old George Geen' when he was about 10 years old... He has never forgotten it, and continues to recite it to us (to our delight ) to this day. I have always wondered as to the origin of it...

Subject: RE: Song re dogs sniffing rear ends
From: The Vulgar Boatman
Date: 16 Jul 09 - 06:14 PM

Peace, that is priceless...
KYBTTS

Subject: RE: Song re dogs sniffing rear ends
From: GUEST,Fossil (at work)
Date: 17 Jul 09 - 03:31 AM

I sing this song occasionally, usually when children are around: the mentions of a*rseholes by an adult always raises a giggle or two.

Most of the versions above correspond roughly to the one I know, except for the last verse, which I learned as follows:

...and that's the reason why, sir
when walking down the street
and that's the reason why, sir
when doggies chance to meet
and that's the reason why, sir,
on land or sea or foam.... (spin out this note as long as you can!)
They'll sniff each other's a*seholes
TO SEE IF IT'S THEIR OWN!

Ah, happy memories...

Subject: RE: Song re dogs sniffing rear ends
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Nov 10 - 05:13 AM

All the doggies went to a party
They came from near and far
Some came by aeroplane some came by car
But ere inside the city wall they were allowed to look
Till every little doggy, had hung his bottom on a hook
They gathered in the party room, each mother son and sire
When all of sudden, someone shouted, fire!
They all rushed out in panic and didn't stop to look
Each doggy grabbed a bottom from the nearest hook
That's why a doggy when he leaves his masters home
Smells another doggy's bottom to see if it's his own

Subject: RE: Song re dogs sniffing rear ends
From: EBarnacle
Date: 30 Nov 10 - 11:15 AM

I got the version cited by Duane but with the ending that Fossil cites from Brian Bowers, done in a concert at the Bottom Line, of lamented memory, during the 1970's.

Subject: RE: Song re dogs sniffing rear ends
From: GUEST,Chinacat
Date: 25 Sep 11 - 06:58 PM

1st herd a version of this in about 1970 at a South Street Seaport concert( the real early days before the commercialism) & I believe it was sung by Bernie Klay.

Subject: RE: Song re dogs sniffing rear ends
From: GUEST,Gary Barlow
Date: 29 Jan 13 - 09:02 PM

Hi this is my version.

The dogs once held a meeting and they came from near and far,
Some came by helicopter and some by motor car,
Some came for curiosity and some to have a look,
But they all had to take their arseholes off and hang them upon a hook.

So into the hall they had gathered, every mother, son and sire,
When some little yellow dog yelled out "Fire"
Well this caused some confusion and here was no time to look,
So they all grabbed at random, an arsehole from a hook.

And, that's the reason also why, that dogs stop in the street,
They'll stop and swap a sniff or two with every dog they meet,
And that's the reason also why a dog will drop a bone,
To go and sniff an arsehole, in a hope that it's his own.