Punch The Horse Noel Thread

Subject: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 04:38 AM

Ok ok I know but some one had to do it!

The world famous PTH are in the studio recording their second CD as I type. We the people are looking forward to hearing the results.

Mike or Mary can we have a list of December gigs please.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 04:42 AM

Haddy Grimble PTH.
Eric

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 04:50 AM

PTH Confirmed jigs for December up to now include =
12th-Durty Nellies [Nikki]
19th-Hope n Anchor [Nikki & Antoine]
21st-Dog & Rat, Broughton [Nikki & Antoine]
All Free Admission

if anyone else wants to book Punch the horse, send Private Message to Mudcat member Ossonflags, or email to mary @ punchthehorse.co.uk

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 05:26 AM

Who's Noel, where does he come into the equation, does he sing, what instrument does he play. Has a band member left and Noel is the replacement or is the band growing by acquisition. We need to know the answer to these and lots of other question like when are we going to start a Punch the Horse December thread or Punch the Horse Christmas thread

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 06:08 AM

The sound engineer threw a sickie as we were on our way to the blinking studio. There will be a slight delay, chaps.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 06:09 AM

The best laid plans.... An serious epidemic of technician 'flu has meant that the studio cancelled the session at the eleventh hour and we are all feeling a bit frustrated. I got a real shine on the euphonium by the wee small hours in readiness and Oss spent the entire evening exercising his throat. Deanmeister even shaved his tongue. These things happen, I suppose. Back to work, then. Ho hum.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 06:15 AM

See you should have taken me along and I would have stood in for him!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST,Noel Thread
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 06:52 AM

I am thinking of changing my name.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST,Noel Fred
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 06:55 AM

Can I have it then?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 07:47 AM

Indeed gutted and absolutlly deflated.Nikki had travelled all the way from the Durham to put her undoubted fiddle talents on cd for posterity, deany had is tongue shaved and put new strings on the owld guitar, oaklet had polished his instrument, andy had ordered in the HIAB to move his extra special accordian box and I was wandering round with the contents of Superdrug rattling away in the old tum.

But high ho,such is the way and order of things.It is still on the cards when john the technician is back on his crane.So watch this space.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 08:01 AM

Raggy old bean, will you be putting any of your photos of our Huddersfield bash on the mudcat?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 08:31 AM

This is dependent on Wombat taking them to Leeds with her and having the time to play, which is a rarity when she is in Leeds as thats the main orifice and she's suposed to be working when there.
Our hamster powered computer at home needs a new rubber band or perhaps a second hamsters (even a declawed and detoothed cat to chase the first hamster might do)and will not function well enough to send piccys off

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: KJ
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 08:59 AM

Happy Easter folks, easter cards on sale in the shops as from tomorrow and I have just seen my first cream egg of the year. Oh hum, back to the essays, just slightly more interesting than christmas, bah humbug & all that.
I was Colin Thompson.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 09:15 AM

Anybody want an Advent calender?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST,KJ
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 09:58 AM

Christmas spoils a good weekend cos the pubs aren't open as long. CT

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 10:07 AM

That was Colin Thompson. He was Colin Thompson last night as well.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 05:20 PM

Raggy,you could send disc to to me at my home adress and I will ensure they are placed in the Mudcat hall of infamy !!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST,KJ
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 06:46 PM

Happy mothers day!!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST,me
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 01:27 AM

Happy Fathers Day

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 03:25 AM

Happy thanksgiving!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 03:29 AM

Hey Osson have they given you an alternative date?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 04:01 AM

If I can think on, I will download the piccys to a disc and bring it with me on Sunday ....


Oy Wombat, you out of bed yet, will you have time to edit piccys and load them to a disc for Michael.

She works from home you know 9-5 like the rest of us ...I should cocoa

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 06:42 AM

Does anybody want to buy a photocopier?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 06:46 AM

I will swop it for a couple of rabbits, i will butcher them for you as well, if you like.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 06:57 AM

ps=heres a rabbit joke
2 rabbits in a pub, 1 has a cheese toasty, 1 has a ham toasty, first one is hungry, so has a different ham toasty, then they go home, second one gets run over and dies, first one dies in his sleep, they get to heaven, 1st one says to his mate "what you die of? he says "i get run over, waht you die of?
he says "i died of mixing my toasties"!
9 its a rabbit diseese].

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 06:58 AM

I have checked with my sales manager, jOhn, but apparently rabbits, however expertly butchered, are not considered legal tender in the West Riding. Thanks for the offer though, mate.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 07:06 AM

how about sheep then?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 07:20 AM

Now you're talking.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Wombat at work
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 07:33 AM

Okay okay, you now I up and at my desk now, but I've only just looked at Mudcat. I will try to copy the photos to a disk for Ossonflags so we can deliver them Sunday.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 07:35 AM

Trust me on this one Peter, In West Yorkshire rabbits are legal tender in some of the pubs I go in, as are forklift trucks, cement mixers, second hand cameras, hi-fi's, dodgy Insurance certificates, same with MOT's, work boots, padded jackets, CD's, jars of coffee, bottles of poteen ...need I go on .....

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 09:57 AM

How many pints can I get for an unexpired tax disc from a written off Triumph 955i with 5 months left on it?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST,KJ
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 10:05 AM

A fifth of a gill or half a groat CT

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 10:08 AM

How about half a dinari? (excuse me, did you say....ex-leper...?)

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST,KJ
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 10:12 AM

DO something for a living Deany

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 10:13 AM

Ok, mum. Or is it Dad?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 10:18 AM

I have to confess it was me that sold the forklift ....man of many talents

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 10:45 AM

HELoo raggy tash-how mutch is it costing pleese for one dodgy MOT certificate?
ps, can i swap it for a rabbit? or maybe 2 rabbits.john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 10:54 AM

ps, i got insurances, and i got tacks, but my car is shit, and two rusty, so if you no about any dodgy mot people, just let me knoe.jihn

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: KJ
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 01:33 PM

wabbits

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 01:43 PM

I take it your bored at work then Karen? ;)

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 02:48 PM

I'm sure she's not as she works with people who have been bored (Ok OK OK I'll go away!)

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 03:21 AM

It looks like the 22nd of December,John.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 04:13 AM

New year release then Mick?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 04:43 AM

2005 at this rate.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 05:07 AM

yes John, new Year 2004 or before..

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 09:02 AM

Cool, looking forward to it Osson...

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 04:20 AM

22nd looks a goer.I have just designed the cover!!!!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 04:29 AM

Is there no end to your artistic creativity, Michael?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 04:34 AM

He can sing as well. Has anyone ever heard him? And he breeds champion polecat ferrets.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 05:13 AM

I told you to keep that a closely guarded secret.Oaklet.The singing I mean.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 05:21 AM

I picked up the polecat habit after shareing a garret in Leeds many years ago with two ferrets, one polecat, two greyhounds, one chicken called Henry and a very particular friend .The rent was a pound a week and we were in arrears !!!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 05:21 AM

So that's what the smell is

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 05:22 AM

Smell? what smell?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 05:27 AM

What about the terrible smell? Well, they'll just have to get used to it.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 05:29 AM

Talking of xmas, a few stocking fillers worth considering

here

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST,KJ
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 07:58 AM

Ossonflags
Ther is far too much money around. When I were a lad, my uncle used to keep his ferrett amused with an old piece of drain pipe. You could hear it running in and out crying ee wiv never adit su gud!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 09:56 AM

Colin, hope you and Karen can make Sunday? Want the inaugural one to be a good afternoon. Your guitar playing and Karen's voice make me go all weak at the knees. Or is that Oakley's hairy countenance? Perhaps I need a lie down?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 10:11 AM

Ah Peter, I simply knew that you had it in you. Or that you wanted to. Might just be able to amble along on Sunday and am now going to but some Hi Karate.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 10:18 AM

I'm happy for you, David. Any news of D Division and Flickback?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Les from Hull
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 10:22 AM

Hi Karate on your butt may help relieve the 'orrible smell but frankly, I doubt it.

Pete - Maggie's been a bit poorly, and will have to pass a late fitness test on Sunday, but I'll do what I can about the mulled wine even if she can't. As if I didn't have enough to carry.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 10:24 AM

Both currently strangling geese near the coast. I'll ask Gary when he comes home. D Div is becoming a bit difficult to predict since the surgery.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 10:27 AM

Sorry to hear about Maggie, Les. Hope you can make it. Send our love to the fragrant one.

And David, I thought he'd had that little problem sorted?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 06 Dec 03 - 06:07 AM

cant think of what to buy that special person this xmas? look


here

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 04:50 AM

Is it nearly christmas?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 03:49 AM

No.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 04:59 AM

Then tell all of them twats to get rid of them there horrible decorations, come on Deanie you're a man of influence, lets keep christmas to one day a year!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 05:03 AM

Since when did anybody ever take anything I say seriously, SP??? Man of influence my botty. More like a man UNDER the influence!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 05:11 AM

christmus is a big rip off.john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 07:26 AM

Wasn't some dude born in a shed some where?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 12:43 PM

punch the horse is at the Durty nellies hull high street this friday 9am start.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 08 Dec 03 - 08:12 PM

Jesus thats early Osson! or is that 9am in the evening?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 03:49 AM

OMG. I don't function properly at such an ungodly hour, Micheal.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 06:01 AM

Sorry it should eard 9hoipm. The winsome oaklet will be sending sparks of the owl'd violin.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 10:41 AM

Ahem. I still have a job.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 01:32 PM

Hey Pete, do you export photocopiers to Kidderminster?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 09 Dec 03 - 06:40 PM

Don't you need an arms export licence for that ?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 04:44 AM

Yes, Noreen. And no, SP. Just a strong constitution.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 04:50 AM

helo, some body is take the piss out of my spelling, i think i will send a pm to every hull catter asking who it is, and threaten to sort them out!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 05:52 AM

Hey Noreen !!! my daughter lives in Kidderminster.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 05:55 AM

Er, sorry to be the dumb one...but where is Kidderminster? Please forgive me if i should already know!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 05:55 AM

O, by the way "Punch the Horse" is playing in "Durty Nellies" this Friday 9hoipm start.Good idea to get there early for those who like to sit down.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 05:58 AM

i might go if i'm not doing nowt.
ps punch the oss is giggong at durty mellies high street, hull 2nd january,
i definetley going to that one, as the curry ship will be qweiet, and i can take the night off.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 06:33 AM

Ok, music lovers, here's your task for this week. I need a name for a five piece rock band. Needs to be catchy, and preferably amusing. My personal favourite was a band I once saw at a wedding by the name of "Dickie Hart and the Palpitations"! You get the idea.

I'm dreading the response to this, but we really do need a name....

Pete.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 06:36 AM

how about "petes new rock band 9waht plays in beberley and al that"?
waht yoi think?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 06:38 AM

Peat and the Parsnips.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 06:40 AM

Peat and the Pigeons.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 06:41 AM

Peat and The Potatoes?
waht you think so far?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 06:43 AM

How about the Spice Girls? I don't think it's been used before and it has a catchy ring to it doncha think...?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 06:47 AM

if you see anything waht smells like almonds , be carefull because it could be a bomb.

this is your anti terrorist training for today.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 06:59 AM

The Shit Kickers five
or
Five skin
or
Stop that bloody row
etc

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST,mick and keef
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 07:48 AM

How about calling yourselves "The Rolling Stones"

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 07:56 AM

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST,Beverley Barton
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 07:59 AM

OLD COVERS BAND ?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST,sttaw legend
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 08:03 AM

Harri Watts Band.good name, one careful owner, little used.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST,KJ
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 09:06 AM

Deanie' What about Dylexia and the Agnostic Insomniacs CT

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:03 AM

This is not helping, Folks. I was, in fact, being serious. And I'm not the front man, so "Pete and the...." doesn't work too well.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:07 AM

Although KJ was on the right track. Not too catchy though, matey....

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:10 AM

Is it a pouting, prancing, lycra-clad cock band type of affair? If so "Wet Dream" might sum it up. Or "Noctural Mission" if you want to be more anatomical.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:14 AM

I really thought you chaps might come up with some better stuff than this.....

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST,Skipjack K8
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:18 AM

Ray Van Loony and the Asylum Seekers

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:19 AM

Oh, for God's sake.....

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:19 AM

Weeping Willy

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST,Skipjack K8
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:20 AM

Fish hat, fish hat, I got one hundred!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:22 AM

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhh, no you didn't!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:23 AM

Are we zany or are we zany?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:25 AM

We're reeeeeeeeeealyyyyyyyy mad, we are!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:27 AM

Ahem. We have a task in hand. Willy and the Wonkas?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST,Beverley Barton
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:33 AM

anyone for "Banished?"

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:48 AM

7 Whelks Without Hats

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST,Skipjack K8
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 11:05 AM

The Antidisestablishmentarians

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: KJ
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 11:28 AM

I have finished my assignments.
How about The Garden of Ediacara.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 11:28 AM

Hmmm ....a task in hand.... how's about Ivor Biggun and the Red Nosed Burglars

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: KJ
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 11:29 AM

or hallucigenia

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: KJ
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 11:31 AM

.....or Potent Copelandia Cambodgeniensis

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 11:35 AM

Peterified Quinn
Donna Meat and the Kebabs
Elastic Band
Prophylactic Soup Project
Antiseptic and the Cream
Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Anti and the Bio Tics
Meat and 2 veg times 5
Trip to Zenana
5 Zips on Tap
Beatles
Phunky Bitches
Keep it in your Pants
Band with no name
Its in the post
Out of money experience

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 11:49 AM

How about "Flick The Bean"? or "The Boners" or "Squeeze The Cheese" or"Malcolm the Hamster" or "The Big Faces" or " The Bellends"

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 11:57 AM

Or even "The Ravelling Dingleberries"

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 12:55 PM

anomalocaris
wiwaxia
The Cosmic Haemorrhoids

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST,ploughboy
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 01:27 PM

How about kick the donkey.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 01:27 PM

or "Pull The Python"

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: harpmaker
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 07:23 PM

Squashed bike.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: harpmaker
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 07:27 PM

duran duran?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: harpmaker
Date: 10 Dec 03 - 07:53 PM

Dickey deegan & the pipemobile.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST,specky
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 03:58 AM

*five live*

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST,KJ
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 03:59 AM

The Hullraisers CT

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 04:11 AM

Well, if nothing else you've made me giggle this morning! Keep em coming.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: poetlady
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 04:21 AM

I have a question. Maybe somebody's already asked it, but why "Punch the Horse"? I can't help but think there has to be a story behind a name like that.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 04:25 AM

Duncan's Donuts?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 04:27 AM

Named after a horse called Punch, poetlady. There used to be a milk cart in these parts pulled by two shire horses by the name of Punch and Judy. Nothing to do with equine pugilism, you'll be pleased to hear.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 04:27 AM

Nice one, Linda

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 04:46 AM

Right you lot time to do something different. I've just been looking at the BBC Radio Two folk awards thing and I note that the usual suspects have been nominated for awards. This year the public are being allowed to vote for the nomination of Best Live Act so lets give them something to think about and nominate Punch the Horse. I've already nominated Serious Kitchen so its going to be down to someone else to nominate Punch. Just go to the BBC Radio 2 website and follow the links.

Lets do it and give them somthing to think about!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: KJ
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 04:49 AM

Hunt the Hampster
Fondle the Ferret
Poleaxe the Polecat
Ravge the Rabbit

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 04:50 AM

Bollox I 've nominated Punch anyway

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 04:50 AM

Fondle the Whelk

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: KJ
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 04:56 AM

Have a look at this Pete.
Oaklet: whelk fondling is a potentially dangerous activity and should not be encouraged.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: KJ
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 05:01 AM

CT-Get back to work, you should be doing useful things like nailing youths to the floor.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 05:07 AM

It is the only reason I went into whelk-rearing in the first place.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 05:25 AM

Weeblowjobber......Punch the Horse having now been nominated by your good self need votes, (I for one would love to see someone outside the "mafia" of cronies who seem to self advertise each other be voted best live act) How do we go about casting our votes for PtH

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 05:32 AM

Cheers, CT.

And John, I nominated Barachois (in spite of receiving a plea from Kate Bramley to vote for Jez Lowe....). They made me cry with laughter in June.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 05:33 AM

Mafia? Cronies? Pot calling the kettle black or what!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 05:34 AM

I think that it is the number of nominations that get counted as votes so nominate them again all of you!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 05:34 AM

Even if Chucky-boy did do his best to pull NikNak...! mumble grumble..

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 06:35 AM

GUEST ....at least have the guts to identify yourself

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 08:15 AM

Love the idea of that john.So come on you lot lets give em a run for there money !!!!!

With you there raggy !! I hate these wifflebottems who canny put a name to there thoughts.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 08:16 AM

If the cap fits........................wear it.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 08:34 AM

I think I know who Guest is. But enough of that.

Harpmaker, I just noticed the "Squashed Bike" suggestion. You're dead meat. I have hired the Hessle branch of the Hells Angel's to burn your house to the ground.

So there.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 09:15 AM

That took you some time Pete!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: s6k
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 09:18 AM

How about Crunch the Bike!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Sweetfia
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 09:40 AM

Had any inspiration yet DM?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 03:24 PM

Punch the horse is playing at "Durty Nellies "tomorrow night(friday) with Pete Dean on guitar.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Hand-Pulled Boy
Date: 11 Dec 03 - 10:02 PM

'Knob'eads'

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 04:54 AM

Really? Can I come?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 05:56 AM

Just a remindeer in case anyone has forgot.That fantastic, superb,cuddly band "Punch The Horse" will be playing at "Durty Nellies" tonight 9hoipm start

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 06:02 AM

And,.............................. yes pete, be delighted to see you there, I may come meself.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 06:05 AM

I understand it's me in charge of violin noises and shellfish distribution.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST,Skipjack K8
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 06:47 AM

Will you give my mussel a Brazilian, David?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: KJ
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 07:26 AM

Don't do it Skippy, don't let him anywhere near your mussel, he will infect it with earthy fungoid parasites, which will multiply and take over the earth. Thats his plan you see, he gets involved with all earthly activities, gains our trust and then......its too horrible to contemplate. Heed my warning.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: KJ
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 07:28 AM

PS did you know that the ewhelk is common on soft bottoms?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: KJ
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 07:30 AM

If a whelk should be infected by a tremtod larva, there is a great chance of it becaming sterile, because an infected whelk has a smaller penis!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 07:56 AM

Crab sticks are bloody pink-tinged disgrace. There.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Sweetfia
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 08:22 AM

Crab sticks are nice. So there.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 11:24 AM

Punch the horse will play tonight 9hoipm start."Durty nellies"

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 11:28 AM

Bring sume whelks with you oaklet.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 11:28 AM

Stop changing the subject. Crab sticks are the devil's stools, dyed with toxins to look like a whore's lips.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 12:39 PM

Yummy !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 12:49 PM

Whose coming tonight?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 01:00 PM

Changing the subject slightly from oakleys obsession with all things fishy.Here are a few stocking fillers for our dumb chums

a href="http://spoiledrottendoggies.com/jacket.htm">here

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 01:01 PM

or maybe

here ">here

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 12 Dec 03 - 01:03 PM

or there again

here

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: KJ
Date: 13 Dec 03 - 09:04 AM

Or here

Is there no end to the depravity people will reach!!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 13 Dec 03 - 09:32 AM

Can you get spangly boob-tubes for whelks in medium? I'll need about 2500 for a forthcoming wild party. It can be lonely in South Ferriby at Christmas time.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 03:30 AM

O yes there is Karen, look



http://www.petco.com/Productlisting.asp?tab=1&c1=100&ct1=Apparel&c2=102&ct2=Boots&Dept_ID=102

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 03:33 AM

Or hear

here

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 03:39 AM

Punch the horse will be appearing at the "Hope and Anchor" siuth Ferriby this Friday and the "Dog and Rat" Broughton on Sunday.This will be the first appearances of our new job share guitarist ,Antoine.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Ozzy
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 04:17 AM

Did I go?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 04:30 AM

I think I was there.

My cat is now sporting a splendid Pussy Biker Jacket and Village People police hat and shades. She looks delightful.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 05:33 AM

So you would ruin your cats street cred Deanie you bugger!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Sweetfia
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 07:46 AM

What a hideous thing to drss ya cat up in!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 15 Dec 03 - 04:09 PM

Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...............at 10.30 this morning I was made redundant

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 04:02 AM

Oh. Is that a good thing, or a bad thing, Nick?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 04:56 AM

I really hope that is a good thing Raggy (if not its a nice way to say happy chistmas)and you get a huge redundancy payment.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 06:56 AM

Tell me more ragged tashed one.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 07:42 AM

Hey Osson me owld mucka is PTH's New Years Eve gig at the Sun back on or what?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 07:47 AM

Raggy - I have experience of the redundancy thing. I found it a real pisser and you have my sympathy.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 10:58 AM

The short answer, John, is I dont know what is happening.The general consensus of opinion among the fusiliers is that we woldnt mind doing it if it was on offer, but no direct offer has been made to me.Maybe the deanmeiester feller might enlighten us? I shall be seeing the lad himself tonight so I may glean further info.I will of course keep you posted.

I know it wont make you feel any better raggy but I have had the dubious pleasure of getting the firm hand clasp with the p45 neatly folded in it on many an Xmas in my years in the building game .A special bummer at the festive season.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 16 Dec 03 - 12:55 PM

Thanks for your concern boys, but I really meant yippee, the new job starts on the 5th Jan and if they hadn't made me redundant I would have had to resign, although the pay out is meagre it means I can buy some meat this Christmas

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 17 Dec 03 - 03:46 AM

did every dody nobinate punch the horse for the best band award yet?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 17 Dec 03 - 04:42 AM

its a good idea to vote for punch the horse, as every body waht votes is entered into a raffle, and the prize it tickets to the award ceremoney, and there might be a big posh dinner there!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Sweetfia
Date: 17 Dec 03 - 08:34 AM

I was at a big posh dinner last night...except i was part of the staff!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 17 Dec 03 - 07:50 PM

Hey the Goxhill session was good tonight you should all have been there.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 04:43 AM

I reeeeeeeeeeeeeally wanted to come, John, but having been out practising on Monday night, then Mick's on Tuesday night, sales meeting tonight, staff Christmas do tomorrow night, frankly it would have constituted pushing my luck a little too far with Mrs DM to be out last night as well...!

Hope Nikki was on fine form after her journey down. Owing to her busy schedule on her visit this time around, it seems unlikely that I'll get to see her at any point other than in the studio on Monday. :o(

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 04:49 AM

Hey, who saw our illustrious Chief of Police make a complete tit of himself on national television last night...? If that's the calibre of our senior law enforcement officers in these parts, then it's a sad world.

Comments?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 04:55 AM

I saw it, he's an idiot!
"do you think you should resign over your forces incompetence?"
Westwood="Thats not really for me to say"!, jerk!

PS, he is some relation to me, [my mams cousin or something]

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST,KJ
Date: 18 Dec 03 - 07:43 AM

Fancy admitting he's some sort of relation jOhn - CT

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 04:04 AM

The boys and girls will be appearing at the Hope and Anchor, South Ferriby tonight, sans le DeanMeister. Line up will be Ossonflags, Wattie, NikNak, and Antoine on his debut performance with the band. Hopefully he will recieve a warm welcome from the good people of North Lincolnshire.

I shall be in Leeds at my works company do, hope the night goes ok, fellas.

Pete.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 04:05 AM

Ossencart, we will be in Whitby for at least 30/31st and posibly longer, the cottage we share has people in before and after us, but I'm not sure when .........watch this space or see me in Butlers Brasserie and Beer Emporium

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 05:43 AM

Going incognito, Raggy?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 06:16 AM

I'll be there waving, cheering, wobbling and burping at last knockings. Good luck to you Antoine and have a great maiden gig with the Horse Punchers.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 07:44 AM

Thanks Deanie and Oaklet.I hope to be doing a bit of waving cheering and wobbling meself to say nothing of the burping.I may even get the chance to sing an occasional owl'd song or two.

Peter,the quaffing at the Nellies is a big 10 - 4. Will see you at 1am sharpish Saturday.

Raggy, got the photos, are making arrangements to put them on the Mudcat as we speak.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Dec 03 - 07:48 AM

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: KJ
Date: 20 Dec 03 - 05:09 AM

Hi folks, as you can imagine, it's quite a busy time of year for us at the maternity unit.There's always a few women trying to get induced so they can get it all over & done with before xmas day, but not that many want to be in over the christmas period itself, apart from one!!
In our ward diary for 24th December is this entry:

Mary, induction of labour (maternal request!!!)
Has had little antenatal care:- concealed pregnancy
Bed booked DO NOT TURN AWAY as has been refused by Castle Hill Hospital, York Hospital, Leeds General Infirmary & Bethlehem.
Mary assures us that lighting is not a problem as she will be bringing a star with her.
Has own transport - Donkey
Permission given for out of hours visiting by three wise men and shepherds.(Please note that they have been asked to tether animals in smoking shelter)
Will grease midwives palms with expensive gifts, second hand but who cares.
Birth partner Joseph but ? paternity of child.
NO information to be given to Herod the King (child protection issues)
Inland revenue to be informed as has not yet paid taxes
Requests natural birth so order more straw on Pharmacy top up.
Episiotomy requested as ridged perineum - Donkey rider.
? psychiatric referal as claims to hear God, talks to angels and to be a Virgin!!
Declined water birth, worried about water parting.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 20 Dec 03 - 05:50 AM

Helo KJ, if youre working over xmas and get hungry, ring the curry ship on 348161, I will be working till 3AM xmas eve.
Free delivery for mudcatters!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 20 Dec 03 - 05:53 AM

Free delivery =terms and conditions apply, subject to status etc [free delivery only applies within Hull city boundary].

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: KJ
Date: 20 Dec 03 - 03:03 PM

We'll bear that in mind jOhn, getting sick of chocolate & mince pies. Luckily enough my shifts aren't too bad this year, definately NOT working until 3am on xmas eve, we'll be thinking of you!! have a good one.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 20 Dec 03 - 10:05 PM

anyway=that reminds me, that donkey place still didn't send me my donkey [i sent 5 quid to a donkey santcry ages ago, to adopt a donkey] i was going to put it in my garden and call it Jim, there a bunch of fiddling bastards, and if they dont send it soon, i will report them to witchdog, they definetley fiddling bastards, i know they got my address, they send me a crappy fridge magnut, and a certificate waht says "i adopted alfonse"!, who the fick is alfonse then, my donkey is called jim, good job you remind me about this, i forgot all about it, i will sort them out.
[i think it was 5 quid, it might of been ten, i was a bit pissed at the time, so not sure really]
anyway=when they send it, if its a bit crap, i might eat it, i never eat a donkey before, but i heard that french people eat them all the time.

Anyway, i;m lucking forwards to chrissmus, as my mam is buying me a
George Formby Health Grill, they really good, you can cook bergers on them and stakes and stuff etc, and they got a little tray and all the fat drops off, so you dont get fat, and my anty is sending me a tenner as well, i will get a few cans with that, you can get 24 cans of cheap lager for a tenner in kwuck save.
i got my mam a terror rium for chrismus, [i think thats how to spelling it], [its a goldfish bowl with plants in it].
ps,amywat=happy chrismus every body, [all the punch the horse pople and all the local poeopie etc.john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 20 Dec 03 - 10:18 PM

PS=when my donkey comes, i might cook it in my new George Formby Health Grill.
is ther'e loads of fat in donkeys?
anyway, i could make some money, "get your'e photo taken with a donkey" etc, charge them a pound, [this could be very popualar, as not many donkeys around here, waht you think, ?
then when all the prople got there potos took next to my donkey, i make another idea, "Donkey Bergers, 1 pounfd each!"
[donkey stakes 5 poiund each], i serve with salad and red sauce etc, make a litle bisiness, i think is good idea.
i make some leeflits and put them in peoples doors, "donkey bergurs foir sale, only 1 poind each, and very healythy, [cooked on a George Formby Grill], maybe offer delivery as well, then i can leave the curry ship,
I think this is REAlly good idea!,
i could make a big chane=Donkey Fried Chicken, or Donkey King or something, i not sure of the name yet, but is defineteley a good idea!
i hop nobody nicks my idea.john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 20 Dec 03 - 10:27 PM

PS=this is my idea, and if anybody nicks it, i will soo them, so just watch it and dont nick my idea.
you can give me siome advice etc, and if i get really busy i give you a job in my donkey berger ship, but if you start one yourself, i be really pissed off, and so you, so dont.john

ps= hull needs something like this, i apply to council and donkey society etc, see if they give me a busines grant.

if my idea takes off, i will grow my own donkeys, put them in the garden, my mate called Fat Derek used to be a butcher as well, so i could give him a job, staff is no problem, i just need to do advertising and things like that, make it busy etc.
and maybe make donkey pies as well, and donkey cakes, loads of thgings , this is a good idea, i going to write some things down, so i dont forget.john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 20 Dec 03 - 10:48 PM

and another idea is rent it to people ie "Rent A Donkey For A Week, Only 50 Quid!", this ishould be popular, it is 100 quid to rent a caravan in withrensea, but they can rent my donkey for only 50 notes, bargain, [they haf to feed it though], Waht do donkeys eat?, i think grass and things like that, not sure really.
anyway, i just rembered, Skipack8 [George] works in an animail feed company, so i ask him about this wehn i see him "skipack=waht is donkeys eat then?", maybe he give me a good price, or maybe i feed rthem on leftovers from the curry ship?, do donkeys eat curry?
i need to buy a donkey book, to see about all this stuff, and lern properley.

I know waht pigeons eat, they eat pigeaons food, corn etc, because my other mate called Steve with the cloth cap, has got some pigeuns, he got about 200 and they live in his garden, but not in a shed, its called something else, its a pigeon house, but its got a speciaul name.I will ask him if he knows about donkey bergurs.

ps i think pigeons are a bit rubbish, they just shit everywere, [steves gareden wall is covered in pigoen shit, but hes not bothred really, and i herd you can catch a disease of pigeun shit, like asma or something], and his wife doesent like them as well, [shes called tracy], she says "them pidgiens is piss me off, why donrt you get rid off them?"
steve say "shut up wife, or i get rid of you!, pidgeons nicer than you etc etc"
i think he doesent like her much, he likes pigeons best.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 20 Dec 03 - 10:52 PM

i dont like her much anyway, she moans to much, and she got a sqweeky voice.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 20 Dec 03 - 11:14 PM

she is really crap, now i think about it, she is rubbish, every timne i go for a bear with him, and we come back from pub she moans, "you been pub all day, and play with your pigins etc etc, and give him a big headache"
and sometimes dinner not ready,, steve say"john , come to my housr and get some dinner , and look at my pidgins",
and sometines if dinner not ready she make an big excuse, " i had to lok after kids, get shoppingf etc", all bullshit, woman job is making dinner!, steve told her, but she say " in modern times people should share jobs etc", one time she did not make some dinner, and leaved, and went to her mams, steve was pissed off, [i was as well, no dinner]

anyway, i had a wife before, she was crap as well, always moaning, a few local mudcat people saw her, like John the Harp, and Cristine, and rambling rose and white dove etc], she was always moaning, John the harp saw me one day, he say "wers your misses then"?, i said "we had an argue, and i tell her pis off, he said "oh, thats a shame, she was really nice!" but she wasent, she moans to much, thats why i told her pis off.
Good wife is hard to find nowadays.

And Sir Roger from Beverley met her as well,, ages ago, but she moans to much.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 20 Dec 03 - 11:18 PM

and i dident even have any pigeions.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 20 Dec 03 - 11:33 PM

bisiness name=Johns Donkey Ship.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 12:25 AM

waht is pigeion house called?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 12:56 AM

anyway=my car is failed the MOT yezsterday, so i'm pissed off, My car is a Lada 1.5 , it shit, its only 1996, how many old is that?, i thinkj 7 or 8 years, but is rusted to fucjk, ladas are shit., i'm really pissed off, probly cost me loads to fix!
is fail on rotten sills, [ps if any american people is read this, then in explian=MOT is annual safetey test]
I try to bribe MOT man, [i know him, hes called Cam], but he say 2no can do john, and tell me why =if you get stopped, they take my mot licence awau, so not werth it,2", i offer him a tenner to pass it, but he say no!
anyway, is big waste of 20 quid, [I get trade price, should be about 40 quid, but he still wont fiddle it!
I tell him, "just fiddle it, and we dont tell anywbody", he says No, i cant do that jhon, just shut up about it!
so, now i haf to fix my car, is sills, and rot near the winscreen,
i think i hafe to fix it or, or get another car, MOT is a big rip off, always saftey rules, why should i pay them then if fails, bug rip off, [if you scrap it, you lose your'e money!]

Is rotten sill and amd that bit near the winsdreen, and sidelight, but that is no problem anyway, i could fix that in 1 minit, just rust ids big problem.
Ladas are shit, they are too rusty, only 7 years old, and rusted to fuck, big rip off!

Does any body knoew about dodgy MOt people, ie them waht pass it anyway?, otherwise is cost me loads,
my mate called Chalky was an MOT man, and had MOT licence, and i knew him , so no problum, but he went to jail, and they took his MOT licence awaway, he was garage down hessle road.

I think if you been jail, you not alloeww3ed to be an MOT man.

is probly cost more than 100 quid to fix, and i'm skint, and nearly neber use myt car anyway, big rip off.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 01:06 AM

For SAle=1 Lada Car, 1.5, really nice car, goood condishun, 5 doors, wind up windoews, sunroof, 4 weeels, Any trial, First to sea will by etc ettc etc, its a really nice car, i had it ages, and "new car forces sale etc" £100 or nearest offer-

small print= Sold as seen and tested, and agreed by both parties, Trade sale, No warranty,
very small writing=if you buy it, and find any fault with it, then tough shit, you shount of bought it should ya?

really tiny writing =NOT licensed credit brokers, any complaints, see Dodgy Dave.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 01:15 AM

really tiny writing=dont mess with dodgy dave, or his rottweiler.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Bassic
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 01:51 AM

A true epic jOhn classic! LOL :-)

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Bassic
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 01:52 AM

Here is another idea. If you open a branch in Withernsea or Hornsea or Brid, you could do Donky Barbies on the beach after the pubs chuck out. You can have this idea for free.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Bassic
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 01:53 AM

And another idea. Dont bother with a car, ride a Donky. Donkys dont need MOhteas.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Bassic
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 01:53 AM

Hanother other idea, ther is a shop in town that sells Donky tea shirts, you could buy some frome the holesaler and sell then, (its called marketing) I thinks the tea shirts a a bit dodgy (trom hong kong ot tie wan or somewere cos they spelt Donky wrong. They spelt it DKNY! You should tell them and you mite get then cheap, say you will tell trading standards if they dont sell them cheap to you.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Bassic
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 01:54 AM

You could sell Vegiedonkybergers as well cos donkys dont eat meat, only gras so they vegies.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Bassic
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 01:56 AM

Ha! Double Nelson (222)

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 02:00 AM

heloo basic-i dident see you for ages, i thought maybe you was ded or something, i bloodty hope not, [you got one of my cds, [not sur witch one now, martin carthy?]
anyay=how you doingf, di d you got a job yet?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 02:03 AM

ps=do youf want a stripy cat?,
i let him in here before, and i know you lick cats, nacause you told me, you said you got a few cats arleady.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 02:10 AM

any way=mr basic=do you no anyting about dodgy MOT's, i used to know some dodgy peeple, but i think they allin jail now,
anyway-i think you wework in a pub, [dont knowew witch one, i pissed and forgot], but pub pepoloel knoew everyting, anbd herre about things, so
=if you here sbout this kind of thing, just let me know, and i get you a bear.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 02:19 AM

anyway=i will ask LES to make my donkey leeflits, he is good at making leeflits, he mafde the ones for beberlety flok festibal.
he should put "DONKEY BERGERS ONLY A QUID EECH!"
And make some donkey pictures as well, he got a compter, so can do this typre of thing.
Les- can you making my leeflits plaes, and i get you a bear?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Les from Hull
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 12:53 PM

There's no need for Bassic to lick cats. They do that for themselves.

jOhn - If you do get your donkey and want to keep him, I'll look out for a second hand donkey jacket, 'cos it's a bit cold at the moment.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Sweetfia
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 02:36 PM

What the hell...!!!! Leave them donkeys alone you lot!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Hand-Pulled Boy
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 03:58 PM

Why the interest in Donkeys lass?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 08:12 PM

By your command jOhn..... I think donkeys would taste rubbish they're too hairry and all that hair would get stuck in your teath then where would we all be. I think Larda burgers would be better although the rust would cause problems .... but wait they'd be perfect for people with Iron defficiancy and there is no added suggar or salt! LADER BURGERS THE HEALTHY OPTION!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 22 Dec 03 - 03:46 AM

LaDa Burgers eh?, now thers an idea!
I remember there was a french bloke waht ate a tree, a television set, and a plane, he is in the Giuniss book of records , he holds the record for been the worlds stupidiest basterd, this just proves that french people will eat anything.
PS, its snowing, i'm going to make a snowperson, how about snow-burgers?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: KJ
Date: 22 Dec 03 - 05:00 AM

jOhn, Why not encase your donkey burgers in a Lada tin. This would allow your burgers to keep longer. Compliments of the season everyone I is on holiday I am. CT.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 22 Dec 03 - 05:08 AM

I am alwuz on holiday me! But seasonal greetings to you too. Hey CT you going to that there six bells sesion on the morrow mornings mornings night? Yewz can haf a lift if yewz wants one. just txt or pm or even reply here to let me know.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: KJ
Date: 22 Dec 03 - 05:15 AM

Felicitations smallpiper, we is going tomorrow but have the old trout with us so I think we will be going by taxi but many thanks for the offer of a lift

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST,KJ
Date: 22 Dec 03 - 06:11 AM

I'm working me

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Dec 03 - 06:41 AM

Subject to weather I might struggle across to the Six Bells again tomorrow night - but if not Season's Greetings to all!
Dáithí

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: nancyjo
Date: 22 Dec 03 - 07:25 AM

Would some kind soul explain to me what "punch the horse" means on this list? I tried searching the archives, but there were just too many! Thanks.

nancyjo

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 22 Dec 03 - 08:18 AM

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 22 Dec 03 - 08:28 AM

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 22 Dec 03 - 12:01 PM

Nancyjo Punch the Horse is a Band local to Hull (with a branch in Durham)the name comes from a real life horse called Punch who along with his fellow Judy used to pull a milk cart in this here fair city. The band play at pubs and things and are very entertaining in an Irish sort of way. OK NOW NOBODY ELSE ASK!

PS the band are in the studio asI type recording their new CD which I believe will be caloled Changing Your Demeanour and will be relaesed soon.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 04:56 AM

Indeedy. We had a riot in the studio. 10 hours in the company of osson, wattie, niknak and oaklet was a life changing experience, I can tell you. The poor sound engineer didn't know what had hit him!!! We laughed all day. I think we recorded some music, too.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 04:56 AM

So how did the studio session go boys - full report please

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 05:11 AM

Erm, did that constitute a full report, John?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 05:31 AM

No silly!
I mean did you get all the tracks laid down that you wanted to are you happy with the results and when will the finished product be available!

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 08:54 AM

Well John,after all the previouse hick - ups we have finally done it !!!!! As the bow'ld Deanmeister said the day went very well even with that lethal of all combinations, the two virtuoso fiddle persons Oaklet and Niknak who seem to live for pleasure alone.The sound engineer was absolutly superb and understood completly what we wanted to create - me, Deany and Andy have worked with him before.We laid down all the tracks we set out to do and we are all very well pleased with the result.There is one track that needs revisiting and a little more work on the mixing.When will it be ready for consumption? With it being Xmas and that I think we are looking towards the end of January.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 09:27 AM

In case I don't return....HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY! Have a good one. I know I will.

Pete.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 09:33 AM

A high point for me is the inclusion of my slightly self-indulgent ground-breaking composition "15 Minute Indian Rag For Two Bassoons Tuned a Semitone Apart". Thanks, Oss for letting me record it on the CD "Changing One's DeanMeister". I think its inclusion could have propelled the album into immortality.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 11:10 AM

Was it only fifteenn minutes Oaklet? Could have sworn it was longer.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 01:04 PM

Well Osson me owld mucka I'm looking forward to hearing it

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 03:03 PM

A friend sent me this link and it made me laugh also when I first heard the song I realised immediately that it was one for the DeanMiester (it will go well with his other "manhood" song)

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 03:04 PM

Damm blue clicky didn't work go here and enjoy

http://tlf.cx/dearpenis.swf

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 04:21 AM

"Punch The Horse" wishes all our friends, supporters and many readers all the very best for Xmas and the New year.

Our next gig will be at the "Durty Nellies" Friday the second of January 2004 with the bow'ld Oaklet on the fiddle, usual start time.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 03:55 AM

heloo, wehn is the new punch the horse cd coming out, waht is on it [ [did you put fiddlers green on it, or that other one tyhat i'm awaleways going on about, i fotfgot whicj one,
, how much is it, and wehere can people buy it from?
Is you website set up for cd sales yet?,
if not= i got a website waht you can promote youselfg on for free, but if any prblems with it= dont ask me, i made some people modereaters, they is smallpliesr, bassic, and bill sabels, and some more people, but i forgot who they was, i think peat as well, not sure, anyway, if any problem posting to myt site, or want to knoe anything, = see them lot not me, becos i dont know shit about computers, try to figure it out, then press help.

waht is track list for there new cd then?
i buy it any way, i just wondering!

i ask mick ages ago, but he say 2 all in good time jOhn, all in good time!.
anyway=punch the horse is best band down my street, so i defineteley buyt it anywaty.
ps happy xmss and new year to all the local people.john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 04:08 AM

Why, thank you John.No, Fiddlers green is not on it, but the one I think you are talking about -the lovely Linda keely's wonderfull song "Sparehand" is As I have said before slight technical hitch because of the xmas and that, but all will be revealed ............all in good time jOhn, all in good time.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 04:13 AM

Sorry Linda, that should read "Linda Kelly".

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 04:26 AM

oh, that be the one then micjk,
anywat, how mich is it, and were can people buy it from?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 04:34 AM

anyayt=i remember tyat Lindas Song about fishinfg etc,
you sing it at Hull flok Club first night , and every body liked it, and some of then said things loke="whos he, wahts that song he sings etc etc", they all ask about you because they liked your singing.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 04:45 AM

You mean they did'nt know who I was?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 04:51 AM

i thgink maybe there might be 1 or 2 people in hull that havent heard of you, probly daft people, as most of the folkie people knoew how you are.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 05:16 AM

that's reasuring,John.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 05:19 AM

anuyway=waht on your new cd tyhen, is it ant#y good. anything we know., ?

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 05:24 AM

Anyeay=I;m eaqting some spagetty, its from ASFA, its a bit crap, but least its cheep.john

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 08:35 AM

that spaggety was rubbish, now i;m eating jam on toast, 9 strwaberry jam0. rewaaly nice,
and thick toast bred from skeleyons next door.

Subject: RE: Punch The Horse Noel Thread
From: GUEST,The DeanMeister
Date: 30 Dec 03 - 10:45 AM

Looks like jOhn's been busy.

Don't forget this sunday at Monks Walk, Beverley, chaps and chappesses, for the first singaround of 2004. Will ensure the fire is stoked up well in advance.

Happy New Year! Pete.