Singer (me) seeks remedial relaxation

Subject: Singer (me) seeks remedial relaxation
From: Susan-Marie
Date: 16 Nov 04 - 05:49 PM

I have hit what feels like a fairly substantial roadblock in my quest to be a better singer and enjoy singing to its fullest. I have no idea how to begin to remove it - hopefully someone else out there has hit this and solved it.

The problem seems to be that I'm too focused on what I sound like and can't sing without being uptight about it. Except in my voice coach's living room of course - there I sound wonderful. But this past weekend when my coach and I went into a studio to do some recording, I sounded completely different - all tight and stiff. My coach couldn't believe it - she said she'd never heard me sing like that before. The only thing that helped was turning my voice way down in the headphones - when I couldn't hear myself, I sang more freely. But I was also off pitch because I couldn't hear myself against the accompaniment, and anyway, turning myself off in the headphones is an accomodation, not a solution.

This isn't the first time I've tried recording (other attempts have produced similar results, this was the first time I brought my voice coach along), and I sing in public every couple of months with my band. SO it's not an issue of it being a new experience.

"Don't worry about how you sound", "Get yourself out of the way", "Just relax" - all very good suggestions, but how exactly do I do that? I am an anxious person in other aspects of my life - I'm a nail biter, a worry-wort, etc. I can live with not wearing nail polish and bouts of unnecessary insomnia. But I love to sing and it breaks my heart to think I'll never be able to sing well in public because I can't stop worrying about singing well.

Breathing exercises and stretching only go so far. I'm thinking I need to try something that will get at the root of the problem - excessive self-conciousness and/or anxiety. If I went on the web I'm sure I'd find a million techniques that would claim they could cure me, everything from homeopathy to accepting "the great Kanounou" as my saviour.

DO any Mudcat bretheren have experience with something that really made a difference in helping them relax BIG TIME? SOrry for the long post - hopefully if you've made it this far you can relate and maybe help.

Subject: RE: Singer (me) seeks remedial relaxation
From: John Routledge
Date: 16 Nov 04 - 06:15 PM

Diving off a high board gets easier the more frequently you do it. If you only do it once every two months for me each time would be as nervous as the first. Very much like singing in public :0)

I sing about three times a week in public but still get VERY nervous sometimes before the first sound comes out. Then it usually gets easier.

The secret for me is to keep doing it.

Subject: RE: Singer (me) seeks remedial relaxation
From: GUEST,greg stephens
Date: 16 Nov 04 - 06:17 PM

Well, this may not suit you, but I(and a lot of other musicians) often have a couple of jars before going on. This is not recommended by the Ministry of Health, but it is hallowed by tradition.

Subject: RE: Singer (me) seeks remedial relaxation
From: Amos
Date: 16 Nov 04 - 06:27 PM

There are books galore about stage fright. In general there are two ways I know of that have worled.

One is visualizing the performance or recording session moment by moment, perfectly, as though inventing for yourself the exact movie you want to live through. Doing this repeatedly has been known to have the same effect as a lot of actual experience.

The second is choosing someone as the recipient of your singing and focus your attention on them. Someone as far back int he room as possible. If the singing is totally a live communication to another person, the artifice of monitoring yourself gets washed away.

Both worth trying.

Regards,

A

Subject: RE: Singer (me) seeks remedial relaxation
From: freda underhill
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 07:33 AM

hi susan-marie

before recording or a performance, sing softly and gently to yourself, around the house or wherever, and your vocal chords will loosen up. (Pavarotti's method)

try magnesium supplements - they are both a muscle relaxant and emotional relaxant.

good luck

freda

Subject: RE: Singer (me) seeks remedial relaxation
From: GUEST,greg stephens
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 07:47 AM

I think an approach that may well help is to think about the reasons for stage fright and similar nerves pre-performance. The angle of approach is. I'm sure. to think about it positively. It's actually a good thing, but in your case it's got a bit out of hand.
So we mustn't try to get rid of it, it's there for a purpose. It's like fear making you run away from maneating tigers. It's a useful evolutionary thing, but if you get excessive fear it roots you to the spot, and the tiger eats you. We just need to rein the stage fright back in a bit, so it becomes again the good friend that you need,to help you concentrate and do your best. You need adrenalin to help you do this. The day you are not frightened is the day to look for new material...you are getting stale! I'm afraid this is not a blueprint to follow...just a pointer in a way to use a blessing, rather than eliminate an enemy.

Subject: RE: Singer (me) seeks remedial relaxation
From: GUEST,Another worrywart
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 08:06 AM

What works for me is:
I imagine the calm and authoritative singer I want to be - then I just pretend to be it. Simple as that. Because I am pretending to be someone else I can no longer be self-concious.

Subject: RE: Singer (me) seeks remedial relaxation
From: Susan-Marie
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 08:51 AM

Thanks for all the suggestions. Most (except the magnesium supplements!) are things I have tried, but they would be worth trying again more intensively and consistently. It's interesting that a lot of your suggestions have been geared toward "stage fright" (another thread going on right now), which is not how I would have characterized what happened this past weekend when I was recording. WHen I sing in public I do get stage fright - shaking knees, shaking voice, lots of nervous energy. I either channel it or get over it. But this experience of being closed up or extremely inhibited was almost the opposite - instead of too much energy there was none, or at least none that could escape. Maybe recording terrified me more than a live audience and the closed up feeling is an excessive form of stage fright, or maybe it's something different. Lots to think about.

Subject: RE: Singer (me) seeks remedial relaxation
From: Jess A
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 09:02 AM

I'd agree with John Routledge, that the thing that has made the biggest difference to me is practice and lots of it. I don't mean practicing the material at home, I mean practicing the experience of either performing or recording, because relaxing under those circumstances, on demand, is a different skill in itself. A very personal one though - what works for me might not necessarily work for you & vice versa.

A thought about recording - you didn't say but I'm guessing that when you were in the studio you only had a limited amount of time to achieve whatever you were wanting to record? Which is an additional pressure in itself. Have you tried practicing recording at home (with recorded accompaniment, standing in front of a mike with headphones on)? Shouldn't be too hard or expensive to get hold of the necessary home studio equipment (plenty of packages for PCs available) to get lots of practice of recording yourself, which might help with getting over the sound of your own voice in your headphones.

Subject: RE: Singer (me) seeks remedial relaxation
From: Alice
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 09:08 AM

In learning vocal technique you should have learned how to relax while you sing as part of the process. Did your teacher guide you in how to keep an open sound, a relaxed open voice? Were you taught not to place your voice in your nose or roof of your mouth but to keep the sound open? This should be automatic if you have been studying voice for a decent amount of time. It sounds like your problem could be helped by more practice, practice, practice singing openly so that every time you start to sing, the placement and relaxation of the muscles is automatic. How much do you practice each day? Increase that time and record yourself, playing back and correcting what you hear. If you can afford another teacher, you could try some lessons in the Alexander technique.

Good luck!

Alice

Subject: RE: Singer (me) seeks remedial relaxation
From: GUEST,Guest Richard
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 10:08 AM

When singing through a PA or in a studio, I find that what I hear is a voice coming from somewhere else, disembodied and seemingly nothing to do with me. So my voice may wander out of tune, and I can't tell if it's sharp or flat, or what on Earth to do about it! So, have none, or very little, of your voice in the monitors, plenty of everything else, so you can hear what you're singing to, and give it all you've got! If you have difficulty hearing yourself at all, stick your finger in your time-honoured ear (one headphone on, the other moved out of the way. It works for me and others.

Subject: RE: Singer (me) seeks remedial relaxation
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 06:12 PM

Familiarity is everything. make friends with the equipment you are using. the microphones in particular. they are a conduit - every sound goes down there. Know about them technically - is it unidirectional - in which case your mouth has to be very near it = or omni directional, which means you can turn your head naturally. But there again the uni directional is better for picking up the natural compression of the sound - and allows you to play with the compression effect, by varying the distance from the mike.

get a small multitrack if possible with effects. Play with it. hear you voice lots of times see what differences different levels of reverb and different eq (that is treble and bass) settings make. what is good for you - what suits different songs.

Think about the song. why are you singing it. It is like a speech to an audience. what are you saying. and what should YOUR voice sound like making such a statement. there are no rights and wrongs - think of shirley Bassey's much loved thunderous reading of George Harrison's plaintive love song something. two different artists - two different readings.

Listen to the dynamic of the accompaniment. there are always spaces which you must use, either to change register or prepare for the next line, or add expression - or walk away emotionally.

know all about your voice, strengths and weaknesses. how to maximise the strengths, negotiate the weak points - you have to know it better than anybody else - unless you're ill and got a sore throat, there should be NO surprises onstage.

Think about yourself - for this is self expression. do you tell jokes well, can you read well to a class and hold peoples attention with a story or reading a poem. Most folksongs have a narrative. what sort of stories do you want to tell?

In folk music there are no rights and wrongs - only what works. Its not a six out of ten for a pass situation. either it works or it doesn't.

You don't find out all this stuff straight away. But if you're up there performing - finding out this stuff about yourself should be absorbing, for this is your craft.

Subject: RE: Singer (me) seeks remedial relaxation
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 17 Nov 04 - 11:22 PM

Pull weeds in the garden

Play with the grand-children

Take an hour walk

Pull more weeds

Drink three shots of whiskey

Sing, sing, sing, sing, sing - and most of all HAVE FUN!!

It ain't intended to be serious - let go sister - let God.

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Singer (me) seeks remedial relaxation
From: LadyJean
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 12:24 AM

I got my driver's license 7 years ago. I had been told for most of my life that I was incapable of driving a car, so I went through the process of learning to drive very unsure.
One day a friend said something stupid. I was mad as hell. When the driving instructor had me go down one of the steepest hills in town, i barely noticed. I was too busy being mad at my friend. But, I bega to get the notion that I might be able to drive.
Before I went for my test, I went to the local deli and treated myself to one of their liverwurst sandwiches. Bad idea on a nervous stomach! Except suddenly I wasn't worried about my driving. I passed my test because I was more concerned about barfing on the examiner than I was about parallel parking.
I 79 scared the hell out of me the first two times I drove it. Now, it just kind of worries me. I don't think I'll ever be blase' about going over 40mph. But I can deal with it now.
Distract yourself, somehow. Or keep at it, until you get used to it.

Subject: RE: Singer (me) seeks remedial relaxation
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 03:18 AM

For some people its serious. If you've got the point where you're hiring a teacher. I assumed it was a serious ambition.

Subject: RE: Singer (me) seeks remedial relaxation
From: Susan-Marie
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 08:26 AM

Drummer, Gargoyle, there's the dichotomy I'm trying to figure out - I do take this seriously enough to invest time and money in voice lessons, but then I need to take things less seriously to be a more natural singer. SO now I'm taking very seriously this need to take things less seriously. OK, I am beginning to see the humour in this.

By the way, I'm getting a real kick out of the ad links goooooogle is putting at the end of this thread: "Alpha Calm" and "Learn to Sing Like a Star".

Subject: RE: Singer (me) seeks remedial relaxation
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 01:52 PM

1. really, have a beer. it really does un-lock the left brain from making you inhibited.

2. any way the studio is empty for a few hours before your session? if so arrange to go there and just hang out and sing for yourself til you're comfortable and bored with the place. Then when the techs arrive they are your guest instead of you being on the spot.

Subject: RE: Singer (me) seeks remedial relaxation
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 02:26 PM

well best of luck with what ever you decide to do Susan.

Anyone who tells you they know it all is a liar. I still get odd rooms where the acoustics make a fool of me, the PA making a funny noise I've never heard before occasionally. Its like hemingway says, go to war often enough and you'll get killed. The same applies with gigging. do it often enough and you'll still come unstuck now and then. the death isn't as final - but if it doesn't go well, onlookers sometimes act as though you've committed mass murder.

do whatever you can to set things right, and then have another go somewhere else with a new set of victims.

Subject: RE: Singer (me) seeks remedial relaxation
From: GUEST,joseacsilva
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 03:00 PM

Hi Susan, I´ve read your thread and agreee with most of the manners folks use to deal with anxiety prior to presentations.Another way that I´ve heard , is to use a medication from the betablocker group, that is used for several conditions, thar decreases the simpathetic
discharge that happens when you get anxious(sweating,tachycardia,hands shaking,etc), so they get more calm to perform.
But i´d not recommend to use it without a medical orientation, ´cause there are situations in which these medications should not be used and some people(musicians that made use of them) say that sometimes the presentation could get too plastic or cold ,ok?(just for your knowledge).
       best of luck
                   Joe

Subject: RE: Singer (me) seeks remedial relaxation
From: Susan-Marie
Date: 19 Nov 04 - 11:04 AM

Joe, I'd love to find a wonder drug that would make me instantly calm, but I know from personal experience that's not the answer. Years ago while I was going through a divorce I was treated for a bona fide anxiety disorder and I became addicted to the medication (Atavan). It took me a year to get off it, including a week I had to be hospitalized. Don't want to go through that again, would want anyone else to either.