Lyr Req: Don't Be Cruel to a Vegetabuel (L Sarony)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Be Cruel to a Vegetabuel (L Sarony)
From: Will Fly
Date: 16 Apr 18 - 03:44 AM

I saw Leslie Sarony on stage at the Theatre Royal in Brighton in 1980 or so, as part of a 'Variety nostagia' night. He sang "Pete the piddling pup" to great applause. Not bad for a performer in his 80's. One of the other performers was Ruby Murray, who sang, inevitably, "Softly, softly".

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Be Cruel to a Vegetabuel (L Sarony)
From: Donuel
Date: 15 Apr 18 - 12:48 PM

My favorite vegetatable
Brian Williams


scroll to bottom and play -vegetable- (right above 'mama says'.)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Be Cruel to a Vegetabuel (L Sarony)
From: GUEST,Mike Lydiat
Date: 15 Apr 18 - 10:42 AM

One version on You Tube has this final part to the chorus:

If you please, don't split peas
Just because they're tasty and they're sweet.
Be careful what you say because the cabbage stalks
And even little radishes repeat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXwiEWv8SRg

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Be Cruel to a Vegetabuel (L Sarony)
From: GUEST,Musical Magpie
Date: 02 Sep 14 - 06:16 PM

By the way Jim, the tomato toter in your transcript of Leslie Sarony's version is a "Gaeity first nighter", i.e. a young toff on the way to London's Gaeity Theatre via Hyde Park, armed and ready in case a soapbox orator catches his fancy.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Be Cruel to a Vegetabuel (L Sarony)
From: GUEST,Musical Magpie
Date: 02 Sep 14 - 05:43 PM

This clip from an old movie features a slightly different music hall version of the song. It's the one I learned as a child from watching Sid Williams (aka Miss Eloise Legume, president of the RSPCV) in a '60s music hall revue at historical Barkerville, B.C.


Don't Be Cruel to a Vegetable (music hall version)

Transcript follows:

A message from Eloise Legume , president of the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Vegetables (RSPCV)

There's a new society
called the R.S.P.C.V
To protect spring greens
And garden beans
From undue cruelty.

It's a great and noble task,
And here's what our members ask:

Don't be cruel to a vegetable,
Always take its part.
Don't be cruel to a vegetable,
And don't forget a lettuce has a heart.

If you please, don't split peas
Just because they're tasty to the tongue;
And don't forget that when you order Brussels sprouts,
You're going to rob a cabbage of its young.

SPOKEN:

We at the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Vegetables are such a compatible lot.

We believe in planting our daisies in the same bed as our sweet Williams.

We put our broad beans with our navy beans.

Oh, and speaking of beans. We find that if you plant your beans up-side-down, when they are cooked and eaten, you get the hiccups... instead.

Mowing the lawn can be such a back-breaking chore. You know what I do? I pour rye whisky all over it, and it comes up half cut.

RETURN TO SONG:

All potatoes' eyes are dashed,
So they can't see when they are mashed;
And the turnips' top gets an Eaton crop
And their lower portions smashed.

Don't forget that they can feel -
So we make you this appeal.

Don't be cruel to a vegetable,
Always take its part.
Don't be cruel to a vegetable,
and don't forget a lettuce has a heart.

If you please, don't split peas
Just because they're tasty to the tongue.
And don't forget that when you order Brussels sprouts,
You're going to rob a cabbage of its young.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Be Cruel to a Vegetabuel (L Sarony)
From: Mick Pearce (MCP)
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 05:49 PM

Indeed Grishka - Don't Be Cruel...


Mick

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Be Cruel to a Vegetabuel (L Sarony)
From: GUEST,Grishka
Date: 23 Dec 12 - 05:39 PM

Lovely written (though not the wittiest and most original of all jokes) and superbly sung.

When a popular video is banned from the 'tube because of intervention from a copyright owner, it usually quickly reappears. The search field is your friend - if you know the title.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Be Cruel to a Vegetabuel (L Sarony)
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Dec 12 - 06:01 PM

thanks for these lyics.   Sadly no longer allowed on U tube, my father always sang this to me and guests at my birthday parties, used to be funny but by the time I was 12 it was embaressing, now I a m past 60 I would have liked to hear it again.. Oh well, memories.   thanks again. judith

Subject: Lyr Add: DON'T BE CRUEL TO A VEGETABUEL (L Sarony)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 21 Apr 11 - 11:41 PM

You can hear this at YouTube. Here's my transcription:


DON'T BE CRUEL TO A VEGETABUEL
As recorded by Leslie Sarony, 1928

There's a new society
Called the R.S.P.C.V.
To protect spring greens
And the garden beans
From undue cruelty.
It's a great and noble task,
And here's what the members ask:

Don't be cruel to a vegetabuel.
Always take its part.
Don't be cruel to a vegetabuel.
Don't forget a lettuce has a heart.
If you please, don't split peas,
Just because they're tasty to the tongue,
And don't forget that when you order Brussels sprouts,
You're going to rob a cabbage of its young.

Ah, I think a vegetable's life is terrible! Fancy being an onion, always surrounded by sorrow. Can't go near anyone unless they burst into tears. Onions have caused more broken courtships than anything. Onions are the greatest test of true love. Then look at other poor vegetables. Look at a tomato, always in the soup. If he's not in the soup, he's in the pocket of some gangly(?) first-nighter. Tomatoes have caused more stains on park orators' clothing than anything in the world. And they're so cowardly! They hit you and run. Oh, they have a terrible life. Never mind. A potato in the pot's worth two in the sock.

Don't be cruel to a vegetabuel.
Always take its part.
Don't be cruel to a vegetabuel.
Don't forget a lettuce has a heart.
If you please, don't split peas,
Just because they're tasty and they're sweet.
Be careful what you say because the cabbage stalks,
And even little radishes repeat.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Be Cruel to a Vegetabuel (L Sarony)
From:
Date: 25 Jan 06 - 06:42 PM

The words to Don't Slay That Potato are also in the DT.

Subject: Carrot Juice Is Murder
From:
Date: 25 Jan 06 - 06:02 PM

Note the words and a link to an MP3 are found in this thread Carrot Juice Is Murder

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Be Cruel to a Vegetabuel (L Sarony)
From:
Date: 25 Jan 06 - 04:55 PM

This reminds me of the Arrogant Worms song "Carrot Juice is Murder"

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Be Cruel to a Vegetabuel (L Sar
From: treewind
Date: 25 Jan 06 - 03:27 PM

It was in the Daily Express Songbook, published early 20th century - sorry I dodn't have exact date but it was a well known book in its time.

I can post the tune if anybody needs it.
I can't remember the words (I was in a band that did it many years ago but I wasn't the singer)

Anahata

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Don't Be Cruel to a Vegetabuel (L Sarony)
From: kendall
Date: 25 Jan 06 - 02:54 PM

Tom Paxton wrote a very funny one called "Don't Slay That Potato"

Subject: Lyr Add: DON'T BE CRUEL TO A VEGETABUEL (Sarony)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 25 Jan 06 - 09:51 AM

The longest quote I can find is this one, from the News Shopper of London. I don't know if it's complete:

DON'T BE CRUEL TO A VEGETABUEL
Sung by Leslie Sarony

There's a new society
Called the RSPCV
To protect spring greens
And the garden beans
From undue cruelty.
It's a great and noble task,
And here's what the members ask:

Don't be cruel to a vegetabuel.
Always take its part.
Don't be cruel to a vegetabuel.
Don't forget a lettuce has a heart.
If you please, don't split peas,
Just because they're tasty to the tongue;
And don't forget, when you order sprouts,
You're going to rob a cabbage of its young.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Leslie Sarony's 'Years x 3' + 'No x 1000
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Apr 04 - 06:38 AM

I am looking for the lyrics to his song "Don't be cruel to a vegetabuel" I have searched for it, but cannot find it anywhere. It has got to be one of the funniest songs I have ever seen performed : ) thankyou for your help : )
Hellybelle