Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman

Subject: Lyr Add: AUNT EMILY (Lou & Peter Berryman)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 29 May 21 - 01:16 AM

My transcription. You can hear this on YouTube


AUNT EMILY
As recorded by Lou & Peter Berryman on “Some Kinda Funny” (1998)

1. Songbirds at night never let out a peep.
Fishes are silent way down in the deep.
Cows are all quiet and so are the sheep,
But my dear aunt Emily sings in her sleep.

CHORUS: She sings: “Oh-la-la-la, Figaro, fa-mi-re-do.
You are my sunshine, the valley so low,
Over the river and rosin the beau.”
She sings: “Oh-la-la-la, Figaro, fa-mi-re-do.”

2. The windows were open one evening in June.
A family of bears heard aunt Emily croon.
They perked up their ears and they followed the tune,
Surrounding our house by the light of the moon.

CHORUS: They heard: “Oh-la-la-la....”

3. They climbed in our windows and danced on our chairs
While crunching our pretzels and sucking our pears.
In time uncle Walter came running downstairs,
And that’s how he fell into waltzing with bears.

CHORUS: To the “Oh-la-la-la....”

INSTRUMENTAL BREAK

CHORUS: “Oh-la-la-la....”

4. Although she’s been singing since I don’t know when,
The dancing downstairs wakes her up now and then.
The bears must wait quietly down in the den
Until my aunt Emily drifts off again

CHORUS: And sings: “Oh-la-la-la....”

Subject: Lyr Add: DEM DEER (Lou & Peter Berryman)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 15 Jul 20 - 11:50 PM

DEM DEER
(Peter and Lou Berryman)

Hope you don’t mind when an old man sings
Helps me to keep my mind on t’ings
So when I go where the animals thrive
I sing dis song on the treacherous drive
A - - - / - - E A ?

Dem deer dey’re here, den dey’re dere
Dey’re here, dey’re dere, dey’re everywhere (repeat)

At dawn in fields & coniferous groves
Bucks & does come alive in droves
Just when you think that the coast is clear
There in the road is a whitetail deer

In venison-land as the day goes by
Deer lay low when the sun is high
Sun goes down & de night draws near
Twilight brings out the whitetail deer

Bucks bed down where de tall grass grows
Fawns dey doze where de doe does doze
Dose does doze dere, dose does doze here
And dose are de habits of de whitetail deer

——w & m: Lou & Peter Berryman
© 2005 Lou & Peter Berryman (SESAC). On their Some Days, Stay Tuned String

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: Joe Offer
Date: 15 Jul 20 - 10:38 PM

Looks like I'd better post "Dem Deer"

Subject: Lyr Add: HOMELESSNESS (Lou & Peter Berryman)
From: open mike
Date: 27 May 20 - 02:55 AM

HOMELESSNESS
Words, Peter Berryman; music, Lou Berryman.
As recorded by Lou & Peter Berryman on "Some Days" (2005)

I never dreamed I'd ever be
Without a home to comfort me
'Til a friend of mine this very spring
Lost his whole house and everything.
So now I know that life is strange,
That all is luck and luck can change,
And don't forget, it's sad but true,
The next time around it could be you.

One runaway truck,
One slip in the muck,
One stretch of bad luck,
Homelessness.
One family feud,
One litigious old prude,
One long bad mood,
Homelessness.
One toaster too hot,
One investment that's not,
One tiny blood clot;
Homelessness.
One decision on gin,
One paycheck too thin,
One dumb night of sin,
Homelessness.

My poor old pal is on the street,
It's extra sad 'cause he's so sweet,
But even if he were a creep,
The lug should have a place to sleep.
So anyway, it's really true,
That the next time around it could be you,
And when you say, "How can it be?"
It could be worse, it could be me.

One letter too strong,
One adventure gone wrong,
One sick-leave too long,
Homelessness.
One knock on the door,
One slippery floor,
One nuclear war,
Homelessness.
One slip of the pen,
One downsizing trend,
One back-stabbing friend,
Homelessness.
One identity thief,
One flaky belief,
One slice of bad beef,
Homelessness.

Once I did agree with you,
That fiscal plans make dreams come true.
Now I know that I was nuts,
That fate is king and fate's a putz,
But now I'd say that you'd be smart,
To squirrel away a shopping cart,
And if they ever change your locks,
Mi cardboard box, su cardboard box;
My cardboard box, your cardboard box.


Performance on YouTube

lyrics found here

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: Joe Offer
Date: 25 May 20 - 12:17 AM

A Berryman Coronavirus song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6UBfRzcEmk

November PSA

Subject: Here's to Mother Nature (Lou & Peter Berryman)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 27 Apr 20 - 01:42 AM

Here’s to Mother Nature
(Peter & Lou Berryman)

G C G D
She made the Georgia peaches, the California beaches, the cliffs along the moonlight bay
D7 E7 A7 D7
The lindens and the larches, the metatarsal arches, Molybdenum and D-N-A

G C G C
Here’s to Mother Nature, here’s to Mother Nature, for dreamin’ up the moon and sun
C C#dim7 G E7 A7 D7 G
We better break it gently, it seems that evidently, nearly all her work is done.
Chorus:
G D7
She’s standing in the way of progress, someone ought to sit her down
D G
Except a couple window boxes, she hasn’t got a place in town
G G7 C
We appreciate her effort, but we ought to make it clear:
C C#dim7 G E7 A7 D7 G
She’s standing in the way of progress... we can take it on from here.

She said, “I beg your pardon, but can’t you spare my garden, when you put your pipeline through
Your wires and your towers electrocute the flowers, and can’t you spare my birdbath too?”
Here’s to Mother Nature, here’s to Mother Nature, I do believe she works quite hard
But there is only one way that we can build a runway and that is through her big back yard.
Repeat Chorus

We tolerate her twisters, her poison ivy blisters, we’ve learned to love her droughts and floods
We do a couple dishes, she bellies up the fishes, and blames it on a few soap suds!
Here’s to Mother Nature, here’s to Mother Nature, a little overworked no doubt
I hope that she can make it; she doesn’t seem to take it as well as she can dish it out.
Repeat Chorus

No one would deny her the option to retire, we’ll throw the gal a great big roast
Mister Iacocca will teach her how to polka, and Uncle Sam will make a toast
Here’s to Mother Nature, here’s to Mother Nature, we’ll put her in a lovely home
Cupid spends his days there, and now that Santa stays there, she will never be alone.
Repeat Chorus

https://www.oakton.edu/user/4/billtong/chord-lyrics/HeresToMotherNature_in_G.pdf

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: CupOfTea
Date: 27 Jan 18 - 10:49 AM

I heartily encourage Berryman enthusiasts to acquire the latest incarnation of their BIG BOOK of songs. They have retired from national touring, appearing live only closer to home. I love every songbook they've done along the way. Drawings, photos, and commentary are wonderful to have, and each book has a great bit of individual character.

Joanne in Cleveland, attempting to learn Bird, Bird, Bird

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: leeneia
Date: 26 Jan 18 - 11:57 PM

I just bought the Berryman's new, biggest songbook. My husband and I read their song 'The Christmas Letter' and laughed really hard.

It's a happy memory.

Subject: Lyr Add: PASS THE PEPPER (Lou & Peter Berryman)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 25 Jan 18 - 10:55 PM

You can hear this on YouTube:

(There's one line I had trouble with. Help would be appreciated.)


PASS THE PEPPER
As recorded by Lou & Peter Berryman on "Cow Imagination" (1990)

1. [P] Now, I don't think treated lumber's really crucial for the railing.
Pass the pepper.
[L] I've been thinking: should we feed the birds or not?
Because this year they really need it.
[P] Don't you think we should get cedar stead o' pine?
[L] Although it may be hard if we're away a lot.
[P] Although that cedar is expensive.
Pass the pepper.
[L] Then again we could leave extra when we're gone, I guess.
[P] But it does hold up good.
[L] This is delicious broccoli salad.
[P] Though it splits a little easy.
[L] Though it needs a dash of pepper, don't you think?
[P] It's better wood.
[L] Pass the pepper.
[P] Pass the pepper.
[Both] Dear, nobody else will listen like you do.
[P] So I'll go and buy the cedar.
[L] So I will fill up the feeder.
[Both] I'm so glad that I could bounce this off of you.

2. [P] Say, I tried all by myself to put the wall-board on the ceiling.
Is there coffee?
[L] Hey, my sister called to say she has the flu
And she's too sick for entertaining.
[P] First I tried to use a two-by four support
[L] And Mom and Dad were gonna drop in on them too.
[P] And though I fin'lly put a piece up
Is there coffee?
[L] Of course I [unintelligible]
[P] I gave my dad a call.
[L] How would you like a cup of coffee?
[P] Turns out Mom is coming with him.
[L] We could use a little Sanka, don't you think?
[P] The dog and all.
[L] Here's the Sanka.
[P] Where's the coffee?
[Both] Dear, nobody else will listen like you do.
[P] So my folks are coming Thursday.
[L] So my folks are coming Thursday.
[Both] I'm so glad that I could bounce this off of you.

3. [P] Boy, it does depress me lately when I look into the mirror.
Where's the napkins?
[L] Dear, I understand we aren't millionaires,
But could we get an old piano?
[P] What with all the extra padding on my butt.
[L] Well, I don't know; how could we get it up the stairs?
[P] My face has turned into a biscuit.
Where's the napkins?
[L] I suppose we'll have to scrape it down and varnish it.
[P] My hair is lying flat.
[L] Boy, this is really greasy pizza!
[P] And it's turning gray in patches.
[L] Anyway, what do you think about it dear?
[P] I need a hat.
[L] Where's the napkins?
[P] Where's the napkins?
[Both] Dear, nobody else will listen like you do.
[P] I feel older ev'ry minute.
[L] So I'll go and find a spinet.
[Both] I'm so glad that I could bounce this off of you.
Dear, nobody else will listen like you do.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 25 Oct 17 - 10:48 AM

Lou and Peter are a national treasure. On a recent vacation in Arkansas, we sang "Your State's Name Here" on the road. Recently I sang "A Chat with Your Mother" while doing the dishes. And thanks to this thread, the DH and I just learned about "Acme Forgetting Service."

All are far superior to anything on the charts today.

(Are there still charts?)

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: Joe Offer
Date: 23 Oct 17 - 01:44 AM

Lou and Peter have retired from national touring, so now you have to go to Wisconsin (or sometimes Minnesota) if you want to hear them in live performance. If you're in a hurry, you can see them in Fort Atkinson on October 28. You'll like Fort Atkinson - and you'll like the Berrymans.

I gotta advertise the hometown folks, ya know.

https://louandpeter.com/

-Joe-

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: Joe Offer
Date: 09 Sep 15 - 04:24 PM

Thanks for posting "Up in Wisconsin," Corn Field. I haven't heard that one for a while, and I hadn't heard the extra verses. "Weyauwegan" was the one word that threw me, but I found a nice Wikipedia article (with photos) about Weyauwega, a town in Waupaca County with a population of about 1,900. Turns out it's not far from my sister's house in Oshkosh, b'gosh.

I do question the title of the album, Ya, Hey. In southeastern Wisconsin where I come from, that term is never heard. It's "Einah, hey?" - not that I know how to spell the first word. I'm glad that Lou and Peter have finally released an album of Wisconsin songs to the general public. It used to be that they would not perform Wisconsin songs outside the Dairy State, thinking others wouldn't understand them. It took them years to understand that wherever they perform, half of their audiences are Wisconsin exiles, longing for home (but enjoying not being so cold).

-Joe-

Subject: ADD: Up in Wisconsin (Lou & Peter Berryman)
From: Corn Field
Date: 09 Sep 15 - 03:04 PM

And Peter sent me an email with the Lyrics, including a new verse:

Here are the lyrics to Up In Wisconsin, with four additional verses since it was recorded:

UP IN WISCONSIN
(Peter & Lou Berryman)

If you're coming up from Boulder
With your skis upon your shoulder
They are stupid to be bringing
Wisconsin's flatter than my singing

        If you're gonna spend your yule here
        Or you plan to stay a school year
        It's a lovely place you've chosen
        If you like your hinder frozen

                CHORUS
                Up in Wisconsin, up in Wisconsin
                The weather isn't very nice
                Up in Wisconsin, up in Wisconsin
                They gotta fish right thru the ice

If you hate the taste of booze
Better bring your runnin' shoes
Better sneak around discreetly
Or maybe stay away completely

        If you're moving to Wisconsin
        And your wife is on the wagon
        I feel it's only fair to warn her
        There's a bar on every corner. CHORUS

You needn't be sophisticated
In Wisconsin it's outdated
With our beer and with our crackers
We sit down and watch the Packers

        If you bring your suntan lotion
        To go romping in the ocean
        You'll have to swim at Howard Johnson
        There are no oceans in Wisconsin. CHORUS

If you take the train to Neenah
With your wife the ballerina
And she wants to practice with you
Wear your tutu on the choo choo

        If you are a Weyauwegan
        And your husband is a vegan
        Don't serve anything that's hairy
        And be wary of the dairy CHORUS

If it's winter in Two Rivers
'nyou're so cold you have the shivers
tho I doubt you're gonna wanna
there's a sauna in Kaukauna

        If there comes the big election
        And if Walker's one selection
        (I) hope the country doesn't blame us
        For the famous ignoramous CHORUS

---

Joe Offer: melody is "La Cucaracha."

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: Corn Field
Date: 09 Sep 15 - 11:36 AM

I emailed Peter and he already repaired the link. I now have my own CD copy of "Ya Hey" rushing its way from Packerland to Flatland.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: Corn Field
Date: 09 Sep 15 - 07:42 AM

Does anyone have the lyrics to "Up In Wisconsin"?
On their web site, the link to the "Ya Hey" album actually takes you to the page for "The Pink One".

Berryman Store

Subject: ADD: Your State's Name Here (Berryman)^^^
From: Joe Offer
Date: 09 Sep 15 - 05:35 AM

Thread #45506   Message #673279
Posted By: Grab
21-Mar-02 - 08:37 AM
Thread Name: Politically incorrect national anthems
Subject: Lyr Add: YOUR STATE'S NAME HERE (L & P Berryman)

One song everyone's missed. If you've not heard it, she sings the main bits while he sings the bits in brackets.

ARTIST: Lou and Peter Berryman
TITLE: Your State's Name Here

Sometimes when the grass is blown by the breeze
There's a far away look in the leaves of the trees
A memory returns, heartbreakingly clear
Of a place I call home, [Your state's name here]

No sky could be deeper, no water so clear
As back in the meadows of [Your state's name here]
I'm gonna go back, although I don't know when
There's no other place like [Your state's name again]

{Chorus:}
Oh [Your state's name here], Oh [Again], what a state
I have not been back since [a reasonable date]
Where the asphalt grows soft in July every year
In the warm summer mornings of [Your state's name here]

My grampa would come and turn on the game
And fall asleep drinking [Your local beer's name]
While gramma would sing in the garden for hours
To all of [The names of indigeonous flowers]

The songs that she sang were somewhat obscure
She learned from the local townspeople I'm sure
The language they use is not very clear
Like [Place a colloquialism right here].

{Refrain} I'd love to wake up where [The state songbird] sings
Where they manufacture [The names of some things]
Like there on the bumper, a sticker so clear
An I, then a heart, and then [Your state's name here]

Whisper it soft, it's a song to my ear
[Your state's name here, your state's name here]
It's there I was born & it's there I'll grow old
By the rivers of blue and the arches of gold...

{Refrain}

^^^

Subject: Lyr Add: DO YOU THINK IT'S GONNA RAIN? (Berrymans)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 26 Dec 12 - 01:26 PM

Making small talk with seldom-seen relatives over the holidays doesn't always lead to scintillating conversation. Nobody illustrates this better than P&LB.

My transcription from Spotify. Words sung by Peter are in regular type; words sung by Lou are in boldface:


DO YOU THINK IT'S GONNA RAIN?
Written by Lou and Peter Berryman
As sung by Lou and Peter Berryman on "What, Again?!" (1993)

Do you think it's gonna rain?

Oh, no. I doubt it. Probably not.
No, I don't think it's gonna rain.
Do you think so, Harv? No, he agrees.
No rain.

Do you think it's gonna rain?
That's a very nice chair.

Thank you. Oh, thank you. Yes, it is.
Yes, they're on sale by Shopko now.
You remember, Harv? Yes, he agrees.
Nice chair.

Do you think it's gonna rain?
That's a very nice chair.
Do you watch Lou Grant?

Oh, no. It's off now. So is M*A*S*H.
We miss Lou Grant but mostly M*A*S*H.
Don't we miss M*A*S*H, Harv? Yes, he agrees.
Miss M*A*S*H.

Do you think it's gonna rain?
That's a very nice chair.
Do you watch Lou Grant?
Are the coals ready yet?

Let's see. I think so. Not quite yet.
They've got to turn a little white.
Are they white yet, Harv? No, he agrees.
Not yet.

Do you think it's gonna rain?
That's a very nice chair.
Do you watch Lou Grant?
Are the coals ready yet?
Do you have your garden in?

Oh, yes. Well, mostly. It's so dry.
We've got to water every night.
Don't we have to, Harv? Yes, he agrees.
It's dry.

Do you think it's gonna rain?
That's a very nice chair.
Do you watch Lou Grant?
Are the coals ready yet?
Do you have your garden in?
Do you buy Sta-Puf?

Oh, no, not usually. We get Bounce.
We get Sta-Puf when there's no Bounce.
Don't we get Bounce, Harv? Yes, he agrees.
It's Bounce.

Do you think it's gonna rain?
That's a very nice chair.
Do you watch Lou Grant?
Are the coals ready yet?
Do you have your garden in?
Do you buy Sta-Puf?
Do you eat out much?

Sometimes, by Wendy's, and last week,
By Ponderosa family night.
You remember, Harv? No, he's asleep.
Hey, Harv!

Do you think it's gonna rain?
That's a very nice chair.
Do you watch Lou Grant?
Are the coals ready yet?
Do you have your garden in?
Do you buy Sta-Puf?
Do you eat out much?
Do you go to church?

Of course. We're Lutheran. Wake up, Harv.
Oh, yes, our pastor's really good.
Can't you get up, Harv? The coals are done.
Wake up.

Do you think it's gonna rain?
That's a very nice chair.
Do you watch Lou Grant?
Are the coals ready yet?
Do you have your garden in?
Do you buy Sta-Puf?
Do you eat out much?
Do you go to church?

§ [The remainder of the song is done as counterpoint.]
Do you think it's gonna rain? / No, I don't think so.
That's a very nice chair. / Yes, it sure is.
Do you watch Lou Grant? / No, we miss M*A*S*H.
Are the coals ready yet? / They're getting white.
Do you have your garden in? / It's very dry.
Do you buy Sta-Puf? / No, we use Bounce.
Do you eat out much? / Sometimes we do.
Do you go to church? / Oh, wake up, Harv. [REPEAT FROM §]

Wake up. / Wake up.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: Chris in Portland
Date: 19 Nov 11 - 09:00 AM

To bring v. 3 up to the minute, how about --

That Super Committee meets and says, "What's that we're at?"
They promised to budget, now it's "Did we say that?"
Too many credit cards, junkets, and perks,
Someone needs to start Occupy Those Jerks!!

Chris in Rootin' Tootin' Portland

Subject: Lyr Add: ACME FORGETTING SERVICE (L & P Berryman)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 18 Nov 11 - 02:45 PM

I'm no good with chords, but I can do the first step, which is to post the lyrics (copied from L&PB's web site: http://www.louandpeter.com/alllwlyr.pdf.)


ACME FORGETTING SERVICE
©2000 Lou & Peter Berryman
From the albums "House Concert" (2000) and "Love Is the Weirdest of All" (2004).

1. D'you lie awake at night, afraid and upset,
Hounded by something you would rather forget?
And you can't shake it off whatever you do—
Give us a call, and we'll forget it for you.
If there's a mem'ry that is causing you pain
By going round and round and round in your brain,
And you're a wreck because you can't sleep at all,
Put your pajamas on and give us a call.

CHORUS: For if your past is making you nervous,
And you don't know what to do,
Call the Acme Forgetting Service:
One-eight-hundred-something!-two-two-two.

2. Once every evening we delete all our files.
Our Post-It notes are in incredible piles.
There's only disappearing ink in our pens,
And all our pencils they erase at both ends.
If there's a song you can't get out of your head,
There's always suicide, but call us instead.
We will forget it which will free up your brain.
Then we'll replace it with this lovely refrain: CHORUS

3. Our politician package goes pretty fast,
In which we work on both your future and past.
For one small fee we'll disremember for you
Your indiscretions and your promises too.
[These days the Democrats they need us for sure,
And Libertarians to deal with the poor,]*
But those Republicans they haven't called yet.
They have no conscience; they don't have to forget. CHORUS


* This line changes sometimes. For the last few years we've been singing:
"These days the Democrats call now and then
Tryin' to forget that it could happen again..."

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Nov 11 - 10:10 AM

you mention that the chords to Acme Forgetting Service are tricky. (True). So, what are the chords?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: Charley Noble
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 09:27 PM

We might as well post "Are You Drinking with Me Jesus" although it's also in the Digital Tradition Archives:

ARE YOU DRINKING WITH ME, JESUS?^^^
(Peter Berryman)

Do you nestle by my barstool
Makin' me so calm within
Have you touched me with your warmness
Or have I touched myself with gin?

Chorus:

Are you drinkin' with me Jesus
I can't see you very clear
If you're drinkin' with me Jesus
Won't you buy a friend a beer?

If you're omnipresent, Jesus
You don't have to use the phone
If you're always by my side, Lord
You need never drink alone

Do you teeter with me, Jesus
On my way home so forlorn
If you think that you feel bad now
Wait until tomorrow morn

Does your head pound with the masses
As hungover you do rise
What does heaven look like, Jesus
Seen through holy bloodshot eyes

Should we take a taxi, Jesus
Should we try to walk from here
I know you can walk on water
Can you walk on this much beer?

Copyright Lou & Peter Berryman

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 07:17 PM

The lyrics were previously posted in a thread called, appropriately, Lyr Req: Pair of Geese (Berrymans)

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 06:20 PM

Robd: Their web site http://www.louandpeter.com shows a song called PAIR OF GEESE. It's on their CD "Double Yodel" (1995) and on page 144 of their Big Songbook, which is out of print.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: topical tom
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 02:24 PM

Oodles of hilarious songs done in outside-the-box harmonies as only Peter and Lou can do.I have had the pleasure of seeing them live several times and they have never failed to crack me up!A delightful couple of singer-songwriters indeed! If you have the opportunity to see them live, please go!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: robd
Date: 28 Jan 11 - 10:30 AM

I'm looking for the title and lyrics to a Berrymans song about a young lass going to market with her hands and arms full of things like a bird (?), some fleece, a pail, and a cottontail. She meets a young man who asks to walk with her, and from there the story takes an amusing turn.   
Pretty sure it's not one of the titles mentioned in this thread yet and not one of the ones I found online in a 5-CD tracklist.

Anyone know the song?

A arm around A Pair of Geese, an arm around a bag of fleece
A hand to hold an empty pail, and one to clutch a cottontail

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 30 Apr 09 - 07:45 AM

Genie: I don't recognize it, but if you email Peter Berryman, he'll probably answer you. You can find their contact information at their web site: http://www.louandpeter.com/.

p.s. I see they have a new songbook out.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: Genie
Date: 29 Apr 09 - 03:25 AM

I'm looking for the title and lyrics to a Berrymans song about a young lass going to market with her hands and arms full of things like a bird (?), some fleece, a pail, and a cottontail. She meets a young man who asks to walk with her, and from there the story takes an amusing turn.   
Pretty sure it's not one of the titles mentioned in this thread yet and not one of the ones I found online in a 5-CD tracklist.

Anyone know the song?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: john f weldon
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 03:20 PM

The music rack is a recent development. If you've heard their song about being the "Oldest Guy in the Graveyard" (possibly not the actual title), you'd understand. I can't remember stuff anymore either, like... ...this is about Bob Dylan, right?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: Roger in Baltimore
Date: 14 Aug 08 - 09:57 AM

How prolific can you get? So many funny songs! Saw them once in person and I forgave them having their music in front of them. Who could remember all of those songs? I'm partial to "Squalor" myself.

Roger in Baltimore

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: john f weldon
Date: 13 Aug 08 - 10:56 AM

A huge number of songs, and so many great ones...

Red Kimono might be my favourite; philosophers have mulled over the subjunctive in many hefty tomes; the Berrymans plunge in with both feet! The big IF! And I do lie awake at night wondering how life would have been different if I'd been born a bucket of mousetraps.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: SharonA
Date: 12 Aug 08 - 11:16 PM

Lou and Peter are brilliant! And pretty darned smart, too. Woo hoooo, they're coming to my neck of the woods in the fall! Looks like they have a new songbook coming out soon!!

Alas, "Do You Believe in Me?" has been posted, and I can't find on-line lyrics for my other absolute fave "After Life Goes By" (on the CD "The Pink One"). I'll have to go home and dig the "tiny lyrics" out of the CD case and retype them here when next I go to a computer.

I've never lived in Wisconsin, but my brother and his wife did for a few years, and my parents and I drove out from Pennsylvania to visit them one HOT unforgettable HOT unbelievable HOT miserable HOT summer when it was HOT. There is absolutely nothing like the smell of pig farms in Wisconsin in July; I still remember after 31 years. "Have You Heard About the Heat?" certainly takes me back.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: Joe Offer
Date: 12 Aug 08 - 07:58 PM

I want to go to a Berryman concert where they sing their "Wisconsin songs." They won't sing them here in California because they say people wouldn't understand them. I think Lou and Peter have no idea how many of us Wisconsin expatriates attend their concerts in California. Looks to me like Yah Hey is a pretty good collection of Wisconsin stuff, and I can see how others wouldn't understand - but it sure takes me back home.
Maybe I'll have to visit my sister in Oshkosh next time Lou and Peter have a concert there.
-Joe-

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: Arkie
Date: 12 Aug 08 - 07:34 PM

Jim, thanks for keeping the Berryman thread going. They are well worth hearing if one has a chance. I am partial to Uncle Dave's Table Grace and just about everything else I have heard them do. They seem to find humor in almost every type of situation.

Subject: Lyr Add: PERSEIDS (Lou and Peter Berryman)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 12 Aug 08 - 06:59 PM

PERSEIDS
Lou and Peter Berryman

CHORUS: From Persi – ersi – ersi – ersi – ersius
They radi – adi – adi – adi – adiate,
Too many, many, many, many meteors
To esti – esti – esti – esti – estimate.

1. We'll count 'em – ount 'em – ount 'em – ount 'em – ount 'em all.
We'll clap and yell and wave and jump and run about,
Provided – ided – ided – ided – ided it's
Not cloudy – oudy – oudy – oudy – oudy out. CHORUS

2. We'll sneak a – neak a – neak a – neak a – neak a kiss.
It's so rom – orom – orom – antic out-of-doors,
I hope we, hope we, hope we, hope we, hope we don't
Forget to watch the meet – the meet – the meteors. CHORUS

3. Oh, how they – ow they – ow they – ow they gleam and glow!
How fast they – ast they – ast they – ast they – ast they are!
Who cares, who cares, who cares, who cares where they go
So long's they don't, they don't, they don't, they hit the car. CHORUS

To anno – anno – anno – anno – annotate,
To calcul – alcul – alcul – alcul – alculate,
To contem – ontem – ontem – ontem – ontemplate,
To correl – orrel – orrel – orrel – orrelate,
To dedic – edic – edic – edic – edicate,
To duplic – uplic – uplic – uplic – uplicate,
To illus – illus – illus – illus – illustrate,
To integ – integ – integ – integ – integrate,
To iso – iso – iso – iso – isolate,
To enumer – umer – umer – umer – umerate,
To simul – imul – imul – imul – imulate,
To valid – alid – alid – alid – alidate,
To celib – elib – elib – elib – elib – elib –
Elib – elib – elib – elib – elib – elib – elibrate.

From Lou & Peter Berryman's album "House Concert," recorded live, March 19, 2000.

To hear this song as part of an archived radio program, click here and then skip to 00:46:30 from the beginning of the segment. (RealPlayer does this very nicely.)

Subject: Lyr Add: ODD MAN OUT (Lou & Peter Berryman)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 31 May 08 - 06:17 PM

ODD MAN OUT
©1998 Lou & Peter Berryman. Words by Peter, Music by Lou.

1. If your lover won't come over, and when you call, they're 'bout as warm as an ice cube,
And your deck of cards is lost, and it's raining, and there's nothing good on the boob tube,
Here's a game you play alone and you never have to leave the warmth of your armchair.
It's your job to try and figure out which word in each grouping doesn't belong there:

2. Harpo, Ringo, Zorro, Julio, Zeppo, Chico, stucco, Mario, Groucho.
Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, Pet World, Uranus, Pluto.
One pair, two pair, mayonnaise, three of a kind, straight, flush, full house, four of a kind, straight flush.
Car theft, robbery, mugging, burglary, romance, hijack, arson, larceny, hairbrush.

3. Alpha, beta, gamma, epsilon, delta, zeta, theta, Dracula, sigma.
Aries, Virgo, Leo, Gemini, Cancer, Taurus, Nissan, Capricorn, Libra.
Monet, Manet, van Gogh, Salvador Dali, Sneezy, Cézanne, Delacroix, Renoir.
Earthquake, typhoon, mudslide, hurricane, romance, blizzard, firestorm, tidal wave, nut bar.

4. Sister, brother, father, son-in-law, uncle, cousin, nephew, double-u, daughter.
Whisky, vodka, champagne, crème de menthe, brandy, ouzo, Pernod, muscatel, water.
Southeast, northwest, northeast, north-by-northwest, due north, due east, Drew Barrymore, due south.
Headache, earache, heartburn, stomach flu, romance, toothache, sore throat, muscle ache, big mouth.

BRIDGE: Freon, neon, xenon, Oregon.
Cotton, rayon, Orlon, Alanon.
Phone ring, earring, gold ring, slobbering.
Hardees, Wendy's, rabies, Burger King.

5. Toaster, freezer, washer, opener, blender, mixer, anger, vegetable steamer.
Hipbone, heel bone, tailbone, fibula, cheekbone, jawbone, trombone, scapula, femur.
Desk lamp, flashlight, lantern, photoflood, headlight, dome light, night light, cellulite, sun lamp.
Puzzler, baffler, cipher, cryptogram, romance, riddle, mystery, question mark, off-ramp.
Puzzler, baffler, cipher, cryptogram, romance, riddle, mystery, question mark, off-ramp.

[First appeared on the CD "Some Kinda Funny" in 1998. Re-recorded for "Love Is The Weirdest of All" in 2004.]

[Click to play a recording.]

Subject: Lyr Add: DOUBLE YODEL (Lou & Peter Berryman)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 29 May 08 - 08:17 PM

It turns out there was already a transcription at The Berrymans' web site. I have tweaked the formatting to suit myself. I also added Lou's introduction from the video.

DOUBLE YODEL
©1995 Lou & Peter Berryman; Words by Peter, Music by Lou

[Lou:] Here's a song we've been doing for quite a while. It's a song that we wrote after we realized that we couldn't yodel. We were really sad until we realized that, cooperatively, we can.

[Peter:] I was once a lonesome cowboy. Ask my cattle.
[Lou:] I was once a cowgirl incomplete and blue,
[Both:] Till the roundup when we came to share a saddle.
Now we do all of the things that sidekicks do.

[Peter:] Plus, not only does romancing go with dancing
[Lou:] On the chaparral without a chaperone,
[Both:] But additionally, it seems to be enhancing
All the thousand things we used to do alone.

[Lou:] Like when I sneeze, I have a guy to say, "Gesundheit!"
[Peter:] Changing a fuse, I found a gal to hold the flashlight.
[Both:] Out of all these, the one that made my pleasure total,
Is that I found I had a pal to help me yodel.

CHORUS: [Peter:] Yodel-a-day [Lou:] ee [Peter:] tee-oh, yodel-ay [Lou:] ee [Peter:] tee-oh [Lou:] oo,
[Both:] We yodel along the trail all day.
[Peter:] Yodel-a-day [Lou:] ee [Peter:] yodel-ay [Lou:] ee [Peter:] oh [Lou:] ee [Peter:] ay [Lou:] ee [Peter:] oh [Lou:] ee [Peter:] ay [Lou:] ee,
[Both:] In an easy double-vocal yodel way.…*

[Lou:] Saturday night when we confuse the palomino
[Peter:] Taking the long romantic way to the casino
[Both:] Riding along we share a jug of Amoretto
[Peter:] And after I sing a line of bass, [Lou:] I sing falsetto. CHORUS

[Lou:] Lucky we are to have each other for assistance,
[Peter:] For when the locals hear us yodel in the distance,
[Both:] And when they say, "That yokel's vocal cords are supple!"
They'd be surprised to find the yokel is a couple. CHORUS

[*There's more yodeling at the end of each chorus which neither I nor the Berrymans (apparently) had the patience to transcribe. -JD

[First appeared on the CD "Double Yodel" in 1995. Re-recorded for "Love Is The Weirdest of All" in 2004. L&PB also sing it on "Laugh Tracks, Vol. 2," a multiple-artists concert album produced by Christine Lavin.]

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 29 May 08 - 07:54 PM

fantastic, thanks for posting the Youtube links, it was great to see Lou & Peter perform. I second the comments asking for more of their videos, & as they are members that might just happen!

I also loved A Chat with you Mother by Ivana K'nish, aka Dan Kaufman

sandra

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: Midchuck
Date: 29 May 08 - 12:48 PM

...DOUBLE YODEL...who besides the Berrymans would ever try to perform it?

Steve Gillette and Cindy Mangsen do it, too. Not as well, only because Cindy's voice doesn't have that piercing shrieky quality that Lou's does.

Peter.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: CupOfTea
Date: 29 May 08 - 08:36 AM

Lou & Peter are some of the all round niftiest wordslingers in any universe near you. What folks who only know them through their songs may not realize is that they're also visual artists, who met in art school. As an undergraduate, Lou studied with the same textile artist who was my gradschool mentor.

Through the years, there have been various "Berryman Berryman" songbooks that are visual giggles to go along with the lyrical guffaws. I believe Peter is the main book designer, complete with having created his own font that is used in the books and on album information. The songbooks are graced with cartoons, photos, all sorts of wacky images. My favorite is from the first book I got from them ages ago - the illustration for "A Chat with your Mother" is a photo of a soft sculpture of a mouth with bar of soap on a railroad car on the way into the mouth. Lou shares my love of beads and beadwork & I've done beadwork with her back stage at a couple festivals.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: Joe Offer
Date: 29 May 08 - 01:45 AM

Well, Jim,

Judy and Dennis Cook do a bang-up job on "Double Yodel." Timing is everything on that song, and Judy and Dennis do it very well.

-Joe-

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 28 May 08 - 07:59 PM

Lou and Peter Berryman now appear on YouTube:

ORANGE COCOA CAKE

WHY AM I PAINTING THE LIVING ROOM?

DOUBLE YODEL

Lyrics to the first two songs have been posted at Mudcat—see the links in the first message of this thread. Apparently DOUBLE YODEL hasn't been posted—but then, how do you transcribe yodeling? And who besides the Berrymans would ever try to perform it?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: croc
Date: 21 Sep 07 - 08:53 PM

Their double album Love is the Weirdest thing, is well worth buying and very reaonably priced. It is possible to buy it from them through their website. I believe they have another out now.
Liz

Subject: Lyr Add: BIG DEAD BIRD (Lou & Peter Berryman)
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Sep 07 - 12:32 AM

BIG DEAD BIRD

Words by Peter Berryman; music by Lou Berryman 1984

The liquor stores are empty, the car won't start
The Christmas decorations are falling apart
The temperature is dropping the sky is gray
Gonna have a big dead bird for dinner on Christmas day.

Papa's nerves get frazzled and wearin' thin
Mama in her wisdom gets drunk on gin
The kids go build a roadblock, for Santa's sleigh
Gonna have a big dead bird for dinner, on Christmas day

Smelly Uncle Charlie, he brings his wife
The one he calls fartblossom and chases with a knife
Grampa and his mistress, they come to stay
Gonna have a big dead bird for dinner, on Christmas day

Christmas Eve at midnight, gonna have a little snack
Gramma's apple strudel that's burned and black
Daddy's home made ice cream that tastes like clay
Gonna have a big dead bird for dinner, on Christmas day

Subject: Lyr Add: BANANAS BY THE BUNCH (L & P Berryman)
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Sep 07 - 12:18 AM

BANANAS BY THE BUNCH
Words by Peter Berryman; Music by Lou Berryman - 1984

Bananas by the bunch, Punch by the pail
Down go the lunch, Up go the scale
Fillin' up my face (with)pan-fried smelt
Pop by the case, Pop go the belt.

CHORUS:
Even when I'm stuffed I have a sandwich
Or maybe soup (slurp)(gulp), If I'm in the mood
Cause deep down inside of every fat man
There's a thin man screaming for food

Chompin' on the beef, Chewin' on the pork
Suckin' on the spoon, Swallowin' the fork
Sound like a train, Here's watcha do,
Take a bite of food And chew, chew, chew

Subject: Lyr Add: SPRING CHICKEN (Lou & Peter Berryman)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 20 Sep 07 - 11:31 PM

Another transcription:

SPRING CHICKEN
Lou and Peter Berryman

My sideburns too auburn, my whims are too quirky,
My amble too nimble, my posture too perky.
To be truthful, I'm so youthful, it's a crime.
My limbs are too limber, my highs too euphoric.
I see like a seagull. My socks are sophomoric.
This birthday couldn't 'a' come at a better time.

My tenor is twelvish. My driving's too chancy.
My running is stunning, my dancing too fancy.
When I'm real hot, I could foxtrot to the moon.
My life is too lively, my spirits too sprightly,
My radius too ulna, my passion too nightly.
This birthday's not a moment too soon.

Although these are my major problems,
Although it's as grim as it sounds,
I also have way too much money,
And I could stand to gain a few pounds.

My jargon's too jaunty. I couldn't be hipper.
Too lithe my demeanor, my chatter too chipper.
I could handle another candle on the cake.
My vigor's hair-trigger, my dimples too supple.
I need a few birthdays, and more than a couple,
If I could only, if I could only stay awake.

[From the album "Cow Imagination," 1990.

[To hear an archived radio program that includes this song, click to play and then advance to 36 minutes, 52 seconds from the beginning of the program.]

Subject: Lyr Add: OLDER'N EVERYBODY (Lou & Peter Berryman)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 20 Sep 07 - 10:28 PM

Here's my transcription:

OLDER'N EVERYBODY
Lou & Peter Berryman
"Dedicated to those who have discovered that the more time goes by, the older you get."

I went down to the QuikTrip on a Thursday after dinner.
I picked up a pair of Twinkies and a cup of cocoa.
I took my place in line and noticed, over-top the tabloids,
You could see all our reflections in the window.
Now, you would not describe me as a people-watching person,
And I'm not often one to stick my neck out,
But if someone put a gun to me and forced my estimation,
I'd say I was older than everybody,
Older than everybody, I'd say I was
Older than everybody at the checkout.

So, feeling antiquated, I arrived at a decision
To act a few years younger for an hour.
I drove down to the tavern where my roots had been firmly planted
When my years of boozing were in flower.
I drove in back to park, and found the landscape unbecoming.
The winos in the alley made me shudder.
I'm glad I turned my life around, but I hadn't thought of this part,
Where I'd be older than everybody,
Older than everybody, where I'd be
Older than everybody in the gutter.

I drove up in the moonlight to my favorite cemetery,
For though I'm well aware I'm no spring chicken,
Reading all the gravestones often brightens my perspective.
After all, they're dead and I'm still kickin'.
Well, I should have been glad that I could hike that hilly acre.
I wasn't even really breathing that hard,
But when I read the dates, I had the awful realization
That I was older than everybody,
Older than everybody, that I was
Older than everybody in the bone yard.

A little voice remarked that I could use a short vacation.
That seemed like a reasonable suggestion,
So I drove off through the night and found a motel near Milwaukee.
The desk clerk looked me over and posed a question.
He asked if I was old enough to take the senior discount,
'Cause old boys stay for less at Howard Johnson.
I said, "If I don't get the discount, sonny, no one gets the discount,
'Cause I'm older than everybody,
Older than everybody, because I'm
Older than everybody in Wisconsin.

"Now this old bird is older than all the nighthawks in Chicago,
Older than every buzzard playing bingo,
Older than the turkey in almost every turkey dinner,
Older than every snowbird in Orlando,
And though I may be younger than the glaciers and the ocean,
Younger than the limestone and the granite,
And though I may be younger than these Twinkies on the dashboard,
I think I'm older than everybody,
Older than everybody, I think I'm
Older than everybody on the planet.
I think I'm older than everybody,
Older than everybody, I think I'm
Older than everybody on the planet."

[From the album "House Concert," 2000.

[To hear an archived radio program that contains this song, click to play and then advance to 52 minutes, 42 seconds from the beginning of the program.]

Subject: Lyr Add: DO YOU BELIEVE IN ME? (L & P Berryman)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 20 Sep 07 - 08:46 PM

Lyrics copied from Lou & Peter Berryman's web site:

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ME?
©1996, 2004 Lou & Peter Berryman
Words by Peter, Music by Lou

Do you think Santa Claus on a long November night,
When Rudolf cracks a hoof and the elves are breaking down with a
Bottle of bourbon open on the toy line,
D'you think he calls me up?
Not when the chance is slim that I believe in him.
No, he'll call Christmas nuts with ten-foot plastic trees
And one big statuette, floodlit and turning slowly,
Shimmering like a red potato pancake
Of Santa Claus himself.
That's who he'll ask with glee: "Do you believe in me?"

And old Count Dracula, on those long summer eves
When twilight lingers on, and the man has shared the day with a
Rubbermaid array of under-bed bins,
D'you think he leaps at me,
Upset 'cause I insist that he does not exist?
No, he'll jump vampire fans who never dangle arms
Too far beside their beds, and nightly wake up screaming,
Fumbling with a hammer and a tent stake.
Since they believe in him,
He'll suck their scapula to prove he's Dracula.

And that poor tooth fairy, when she's all out of dimes,
And her truck's full of teeth, and she hears nine more children
Wiggling on their molars in the suburbs,
D'you think she picks that time
To ask why I prefer to not believe in her?
No, she calls five-year-olds who hoard their baby teeth
Like little traveler's checks that they put underneath their
Pillow and then they whisper with a new lisp:
"Tooth fairy, pleathe come thoon."
That's who she'll ask, you see: "Do you believe in me?"

So when your boss is mean and your begonia dies,
And your best friend buys guns, and your new couch comes off and
Litters about a mile of the freeway,
You should not pick this time
To have your mom appraise the way you live these days.
No, you should march right in and call yours-truly up,
Who hangs on every word and will go: "...unh-unh, uh-huh, unh-unh,
Certainly and of course not..."
Enthusiastically.
So, soon's this line is free, go make a call to me.

[First appeared on the CD "Some Kinda Funny" in 1998. Re-recorded for "Love Is The Weirdest of All" in 2004. Second verse added in 2004.
[To hear an archived radio program that includes this song (minus verse 2), click to play and then advance to 51 minutes, 30 seconds from the beginning of the program.]

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: oldhippie
Date: 19 Sep 07 - 03:10 PM

I think my favorite is "Are You Drinking With Me, Jesus" Who has the lyrics to post?

Subject: Lyr Add: TALKIN' AT THE SAME TIME (Berryman)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 19 Sep 07 - 08:51 AM

I found these lyrics at Lou and Peter's web site but I have changed the spelling, punctuation, and layout according to my own taste.

TALKIN' AT THE SAME TIME
Words, Peter Berryman. Music, Lou Berryman.
©2000 Lou & Peter Berryman

SPOKEN INTRO, PETER: This is for people who've been a couple for a long time and who find that their--that everything's fine but it's getting a little boring. We suggest that you might try talking at the same time to pep things up a little bit.

(Here Lou and Peter sing alternate lines of the same verse.)
LOU: You say the two of you have tried to ride a horse apiece around the grounds and all you got to show for it's a horseshoe?
PETER: And that the two of you have nude-canoed, and read in bed, and flown to Rome, and nothin' drives you nuts the way it used to?
LOU: Well, now, the news for you's we've seen between a pair a way to save the day that neither takes an hour nor a thin dime.
PETER: And if the two of you've the urge to merge, pizzazz and jazz and razzmatazz, learn to turn to talkin' at the same time.

(Here Lou and Peter begin to sing different lyrics and different melodies simultaneously.)
LOU: Well, 'dja ever see a brighter lightning or a louder thunder? Rain, rain, rain all night.
How 'bout the hail? The hail, the hail, it must have hailed for half an hour. The ground was nearly white.
Well, all the thunder and the hail, it really scared the pooches, scared them through and through.
The dogs were really goin' crazy, they were really goin' nuts till sometime after two.

PETER: Raining, it was raining. Thunder, man, it thundered and it rumbled like a freight train.
Hail and rain and lightning, oh, the hail, the hail was intermingled with a hard rain.
Hail as big as golf balls. It was really noisy, and the dogs were going crazy.
Those poor dogs freak out in thunderstorms. Oh, we must have been awake until three.

(Alternating again.)
LOU: No doubt the two of you've improved a few'f the normal formal ways to form a phrase to raise the level of your heart-to-hearts.
PETER: As when the two of you have clowned around and found your mood renewed upon one--
BOTH: --ending up--
LOU: --a sentence that the other starts.
And if the two of you have yelled, or spelled, or rapped, or tapped a code, or signed, or whined, or made a pun, or done a pantomime,
PETER: Or if the two of you have spoken broken French, or chat in Latin, you can learn to turn to talkin' at the same time.

(Simultaneous again.)
LOU: Well, poor Lou Ann, it seems Lou Ann is in another crisis. I hope she's OK.
Her luck is bad. It seems she has a few catastrophes a week or more like every day.
Now, was it Tuesday that she called me? Was it only Tuesday? She couldn't catch her breath.
She said her stove blew up. Her stove blew up and nearly burned the house down. She was scared to death.

PETER: Poor Lou Ann, poor Lou Ann! That Lou Ann is always in a crisis, if you ask me.
Bad luck, she has bad luck. Poor Lou Ann's in crisis every month or maybe weekly.
Tuesday, yes, just Tuesday, calling in a panic from her doctor's office downtown.
Poor Lou Ann! Her entire stove blew up. Oh, my God! She nearly burnt the house down.

(Together now, in harmony.)
BOTH: Frogs all croak together in the noisy bog.
Dogs all know it's best to bark with at least one more dog.
Cows all do their mooing simultaneously.
Ducks don't wait their turn to quack, so why, oh, why should we?

(Alternating again.)
LOU: I'm sure the two of you've reclined behind the blinds and locked the door before to rest or, best of all, to see some TV.
PETER: And there the two of you've unwound around the tube a tad and had a half-carafe of wine to find you're growin' hungry.
LOU: When you decide to call for pizza after laughter at the fridge about your jar of moldy chutney and your brown lime,
PETER: Well, if the two of you've the wherewithal to crawl to phones you each can reach, don't you turn to talkin' at the same time?

(Simultaneous again.)
LOU: Hello, hello! Is this the Pizza Pit? We'd like a pizza. Olives, double cheese.
And put some pepperoni, pepperoni, definitely pepperoni. Thin crust, thin crust, please.
I'd like some Pepsi, diet Pepsi, either Coke or Pepsi. Coke would be OK.
Now, wait, now, don't hang up. Now, don't hang up. I didn't give the street yet. Oh, dear! What'd I say?
Now, wait, now, don't hang up. Now, don't hang up. I didn't give the street yet. Oh, dear! What'd I say?

PETER: Hi! We'd like a pizza, double cheese and olives, no anchovies, pepperoni.
Sausage, no, not sausage. Well, I guess a little sausage, maybe, and some Pepsi.
Root beer too, some root beer, either that or Pepsi, and a couple sticks o' cheese bread.
Don't hang up, no don't--Oops! They hung up. Gosh, I hope it wasn't something I said.
Don't hang up, no don't--Oops! They hung up. Gosh, I hope it wasn't something I said.

[First appeared on the CD "House Concert" in 2000. Re-recorded for "Love Is The Weirdest of All" in 2004. To hear an archived radio program that includes this song, click to play and then advance to 1 hour 8 minutes from the beginning of the program.]

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: Grab
Date: 04 Oct 05 - 01:53 PM

If you're interested, they have their own website on which many of their song lyrics are posted. Chords aren't, but then chords to Berryman songs usually aren't too tricky (although "Acme Forgetting Service" has some nifty guitar work in it).

Lyrics here

Graham.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: Genie
Date: 04 Oct 05 - 03:34 AM

At Sunnycamp this past weekend, someone sang the Berrymans' song "Hard Work and Perseverance." Wonderful song.

I can't find it in the DT or Forum, so I will start a separate "Lyric Request" thread for it. That way, people searching by hook line or title can find the song even if they don't know who wrote it.   I will post a link in this thread when someone supplies the lyrics and maybe a MIDI.

Subject: Lyr Add: INCOMMUNICADO (Peter and Lou Berryman)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 31 Mar 05 - 12:37 AM

Transcribed from an archived radio program: Minnesota Public Radio's Morning Show, Wednesday, June 2, 2004. Click here to play. The song begins 9 minutes and 25 seconds from the beginning of the program.

INCOMMUNICADO
(Peter and Lou Berryman)

Take me as I should be, honey, and when you think of me way back when,
You won't get bitter if you consider you took me as I should have been;
And I don't take much to sulkin' when a romance goes amiss,
But if you leave me here, think of me, dear, sittin' home alone like this:

Gonna keep my eyes shut, my mouth shut,
Stick my fingers in my ears, plug up my nose,
Put the dog out, put the lights out,
Lock the door up, shut the window down,
Get the intravenous system, hook it from my arm
To a bottle of whiskey 'bout the size of a barn.
Gonna set there like a stump, incommunicado.

I'm gonna let my Ma down, my Pa down,
Quit my job, eat like a bird,
Kick my shoes off, pull my socks off,
Burn my radio, burn the TV set,
Sink my automobile, let the thing go down,
Leave all my money just a-lyin' around.
Gonna set there like a stump, incommunicado.

I'll never get my hair cut, my face washed.
I'll smell like a skunk, look like a dog.
Gonna oxidize, deteriorate,
Hallucinate, lose weight.
I'm gonna pine away, attract disease.
The only time you'll hear me's when I cough and sneeze.
Gonna set there like a stump, incommunicado.

I'm gonna let the maid go, the cook go,
The butler go, the chauffeur go,
Let my lease lapse, cut my yacht loose,
Let my Cessna rust, my sauna crack,
Get old Ma Bell to disconnect my phone,
Put a sign on the door sayin', "He ain't home."
Gonna set there like a stump, incommunicado.
Gonna set there like a stump, incommunicado.

[Recorded by Peter and Lou Berryman on "Cupid's Trash Truck," Mountain Railroad Records, 1981.]

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: GUEST,Mark Cohen away from home
Date: 31 Mar 05 - 12:13 AM

Refresh. "When Did We Have Sauerkraut?" is listed above as "Sauerkraut." One of my favorites. I haven't checked it for accuracy, though.

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: Lyr Add: Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 30 Mar 05 - 12:15 AM

Songs by Lou & Peter Berryman

I'm a Berryman fan, and I figure it's about time they had a thread of their own. This will be a good place to post more of their songs as they become available.

First, here's a list of songs that have already been posted: (Some are listed twice because they've been posted twice.)

ALPHABET POLKA
BIGGEST COW
CHAPSTICKS
CHEESE & BEER & SNOW
COMES TO MIND
DOG OF TIME
DUPSHA DOVE
FAMILY CAR
FORSYTHIA
GLORIOUS PREDICTION
HERE'S LOUIE WITH THE SPORTS
I DON'T BELIEVE YOU LIKE MY SHIRT
LANDLADY
ORANGE COCOA CAKE
ORANGE COCOA CAKE
PONIATOWSKI
PUSHING SPRING TANGO
RALPH TO ROSE
SCIENCE MARCHES ON
SPECULATOR
UNCLE DAVE'S GRACE
WHY AM I PAINTING THE LIVING ROOM?
WHY AM I PAINTING THE LIVING ROOM?
WONDERFUL MADISON
YOUR STATE'S NAME HERE

There are also several songs in the DT, but I figure links will appear at the top of this page soon.