Really really short songs

Subject: Really really short songs
From: Kitty
Date: 24 Apr 05 - 11:10 PM

I know I read something here about very short ballads or songs. Can't find it again even with the search.    I have a few, and am looking for more. For example:

Are you going to Scarboro Fair.....no

Unforgettable.....

Can you help with others?

Thanks bunches!!
k

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Malcolm Douglas
Date: 24 Apr 05 - 11:26 PM

Short Songs/Parodies

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: alanabit
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 03:37 AM

Don't know about songs, but on the subject of short plays, I reckon my rewrite of Becket's "Waiting For Godot" is unlikely to be shortened...
Act one, Scene One: Enter Godot...

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: sapper82
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 04:01 AM

When my turn at a singroung I stand up and sing:-
"Come listen to me and I'll sing you a song,
Of the truths of Tony Blair."

Then sit down again.

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 04:45 AM

Tom Paxton's ' The Ballad of Spiro Agnew '

I'll sing of Spiro Agnew and all the things he's done.

eric

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Joe Offer
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 04:45 AM

Bill D posted it here, but I think I knew it before Bill posted it, so it's fair for me to include it here:

The Rivers of Nebraska

We crossed the wide Platte,
We forded the Platte,
We swam the Platte,
And followed the Platte.

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST, Hamish
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 05:20 AM

In this multi-media age
Social scientists reckon
The average attention span
Is about fifteen seconds.

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST,Declan
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 05:23 AM

There's always the Dead Man's Blues:

"I didn't wake up this mornin'".

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 05:44 AM

Nyaah nyaaah na-nyaaah nyaah

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST,John Barden at work
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 05:47 AM

"And now, the end is near" - Thud!!

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: mindblaster
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 05:47 AM

"What Do You Want If You Don't Want Money" sang Adam Faith. I think it has the reputation of being the shortest number 1 single of all time!

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Wrinkles
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 06:15 AM

Also;
"I left my heart in...arrghhh" thump.

Not exactly in the same catagory, but Peter Cook's "Me Darlin' Flo" deserves an honourable mention ;-)

Me darlin Flo I love you so
especially in yer nightie
when the moonlight flits across yer tits,
ah, jesus christ almighty!

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: treewind
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 06:28 AM

Hangman, stay your [choke]...

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST,Gadaffi
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 07:09 AM

Stanley Accrington once sang:

Matty Groves, he went out, courting this high class bird,
They're at when Lord Barnard comes home unexpected,
'What the bloody hell's going on here?' he says and stabs Matty in the guts,
'What do you think of your lover boy, now?' he says. But she's cheeky, so he cuts her head off.

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST,Matai
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 07:52 AM

Dear Heather,
Please walk by me again
with a drink in your hand
and your legs all white
from the Winter
by
Leonard Cohen

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: A Wandering Minstrel
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 08:01 AM

Hows about..

Turkey Rhubarb, Turkey Rhubarb
Turkey Rhubarb I sell
I've come here from Turkey
to make you all well
Oh say that you know me
My name it is Dan
And Im the celebrated...
Turkey Rhubarb Man

and I've been known to sing "Rattlin' Roarin' Wullie" in under a minute

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Kitty
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 08:51 AM

wow, fun stuff, thanks

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Dave Masterson
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 10:25 AM

a) "The gallant Frigate Araldite, she stuck in Plymouth Sound".
b) "And did those feet, in ancient time, walk upon England's pastures green? ... No"

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST,Joe_F
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 10:51 AM

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,

O piss on thee, O Christmas tree.

--- Joe Fineman    [e-mail]

||: A cosmology is an autobiography of the universe. :||

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: aussiebloke
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 11:03 AM

Well is is lonesome, on the prairie, since my old horse - died.

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 11:37 AM

'Twas Friday morn, when we set sail
And we sank to the bottom of the sea.

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: The Unicorn Man
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 11:47 AM

I wish I was a rock
Sittin on a hill
Would'nt do nothing all day long
but just sit still
I would'nt eat and I would'nt sleep
I would'nt even wash
Just sit still for a thousand years
and rest myself by gosh.

Da da da da da da da, da da da.
etc to the tune of the song.

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 12:02 PM

To me way-hay hi-ya!
We'll pay Paddy Doyle for his boots.

To me way-hay hi-ya!
We'll all shave under the chin.

To me way-hay hi-ya!
We'll all drink whisky and gin.

There is more (we'll all throw muck at the cook, we'll all stand cap'n a round etc.) but it was generaly accepted that the tasks performed to a 'bunt' shanty (Normaly furling the sails) could be completed in 3 verses.

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: *Laura*
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 12:50 PM

"Some songs are very very long,
But this one isn't".

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: just john
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 01:17 PM

(I see somebody already covered the Smothers Brothers' take on "Hangman.")

A couple years ago, when people were trying to blame the Columbine shootings on Marylin Manson, I listened to the tracks in question and thought they obscured their pro-violence message with extraneous stuff. So, I came up with a 20-second song:

Let's get violent, let's get violent,
Hoo hah, hoo hah
Let's get violent, let's get violent,
Hoo hah, hoo hah
There! Now when anything anywhere goes bad, you can blame it on me!

You can stream the entire song here or download it here.

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Tam the man
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 01:20 PM

Tom Paxton wrote a song well a word really is all about any politction who loses an election

it goes

da da dadadada( Tune on the geetar)

SHIT

Copywrite as well.

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: SharonA
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 02:33 PM

My older brothers used to sing these to me as a wide-eyed, impressionable child:

Here comes Peter Cottontail,
Hoppin' down the bunny trail!
Hippity, hoppity, flop.

Oh, you better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I'm tellin' you why:
Santa Claus is dead.

(Perhaps this explains my years in therapy...)

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 02:37 PM

The end

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: NH Dave
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 02:42 PM

Ill submit one that the RNZAF folks used to sing about the British,

    I'll sing you a song
    That's not very long
    All Pomes are bastards!

    This was ammended in our honor with the last line,

    You Yanks can't play cricket!

    Dave

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Malc R
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 02:52 PM

a bluesy type number

"I woke up yesterday morning...." stop - start again

"I woke up this morning..." stop - start again

"If I wake up tomorrow morning .. that'll be three in a row"

Mal

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Severn
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 03:04 PM

As far as actual traditional ones, I always loved this one (to the tune of "The Irish Washerwoman"):


Oh, MacTavish is dead and his brother don't know it
His brother is dead and MacTavish don't know it
They're both of them dead
And they're in the same bed
And there's neither one knows that the other is dead


It was Frank Warner I first heard sing it, if memory serves. I always thoughtit would be the perfect thing to tack onto the end of a long instrumental medley.

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: frogprince
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 04:15 PM

Heard live on television, long years ago, sung by Carl Sandburg:
   "Papa loved mamma; mamma loved men; mamma's in the graveyard;
   Papa's in the pen".
Using it as part of a longer song is a sacrilige, dammit!

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Bill D
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 04:26 PM

Michael, row the boat ashore,
For I fear I've lost my oar.

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Bill D
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 04:27 PM

"You done stole my wiiiiiiiffeeee.....you hoss thief"

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 04:30 PM

The keeper would a shooting go
But on the way he dropped his bow.

It's true my love has listed to 45 degrees.

Did you ever see a wild goose sailing over the ocean? - no

Kitty

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Kitty
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 04:40 PM

These are just getting better and better

the other Kitty

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: PoohBear
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 05:20 PM

On the bosum of a young abigail
Was written the price of her tail.
And upon her behind, for the use of the blind,
Was the same information in Braille

Courtesy of The Corries.
PB

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: kendall
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 05:29 PM

My Bonnie leaned over the gas tank
It's contents she wanted to see
She lit up a match to assist her
Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST,Jim I
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 05:34 PM

I you were the only girl in the world
And I was the only boy
Nothing...

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Micca
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 05:37 PM

" I'll sing you one oh"
Oh No you wont you know

"Were you ever on the Congo River?" No

" Somewhere the sun is shining
away up in the sky "
but its pi**ing down here

" Alas, my love, you do me wrong,
To cast me off discourteously.
For I have loved you well and long,
Delighting in your company.

Greensleeves was all my joy
Greensleeves was my delight,
Greensleeves was my heart of gold,
Until she dyed them Chocolate brown"

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Scotus
Date: 25 Apr 05 - 10:12 PM

At Auchtermuchty Festival about 9 years ago, during the last night final mass sing I started 'Oh dae you see yon high hill, a' covered wi' snaw'. John Watt seated in the front row shouted "NO"

Jack Beck

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Cap't Bob
Date: 26 Apr 05 - 12:17 AM

Mason Williams:

Them Hors D'Oeuvres:

How about them Hors D'oeuvres,
ain't they sweet?
Little piece of cheese and little piece of meat!

Cap't Bob

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Ernest
Date: 26 Apr 05 - 02:18 AM

by Mark Gillespie, as far as I know:

Here`s a little song
it`s not too long
It`s almost finished
and now it`s gone

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 26 Apr 05 - 02:44 AM

Let every man so pitch his somg,
Then start again, he's got it wrong.....


Bluebells are blue bells, bluebells are blue.
Bluebells are blue because blue bells are blue.

second verse, same as the first, little bit louder, little bit worse

BLUEBELLS ARE BLUE BELLS, BLUEBELLS ARE BLUE.
BLUEBELLS ARE BLUE BECAUSE BLUE BELLS ARE BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEE!!
(blame Lady P for that one.....)

LTS

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Sandy Paton
Date: 26 Apr 05 - 02:46 AM

Has anyone posted this 'un?

    My sweetheart's a mule in the mines;
    I drive her without any lines.
    On the bumper I sit,
    I chew and I spit
    All over my sweetheart's behind.

Or this one that I learned from John Greenway in Boulder, Colorado, 1959:

    Pa didn't raise no corn this year,
    Pa didn't raise no termaters.
    He had bad luck with the cabbage crop,
    But, oh, my God, them 'taters!

          Sixty cent pertaters!
          Right nigh six-bit pertaters!
          He had bad luck with the cabbage crop,
          But, oh, my God, them 'taters!

And Jeannie Robertson sang this one for me (Aberdeen, Scotland, 1958):

    Maggie, Maggie,
    Come and kiss your Sandy.
    Come awa' and spoon wi' me
    In beneath this bramble tree.
    Oh, Maggie, Maggie,
    Ye set my heart on fire.
    If it wasnae for my wife
    I'd mak' ye Mrs. McIntyre!

And, finally, from Mike Meyers, in England, 1957:

    Oh the black cat piddled in the white cat's eye,
    The white cat said "Cor Blimey!"
    The black cat said, "You silly sod,
    You shouldn't stand behind me!"

Enuff, already!

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 26 Apr 05 - 03:15 AM

Out in the West Texas town of El Paso,
One little kiss, and Felina, goodbye

Or a variant from o'er the ocean:

Out in the West Irish county of Mayo
I fell in love with a Mayonnaise girl


Alan Sherman had a bunch on his "My Son the Folksinger" album--longer than two lines, but still fun:

I gave my love a cherry, it had no stone
I gave my love a chicken, it had no bone
I gave my love a baby, and then you see
My love got very angry and she said to me
"I didn't mind the cherry, without the stone
I didn't mind the chicken, without the bone
But when you give a baby, there's just one thing
You oughta give at least an engagement ring!"

Jascha got a bottle of Geritol, Geritol, Geritol
Jascha got a bottle of Geritol
And he knocked a hole in the wall
That's all
No wall

Oh, I'm Melvin Rose of Texas
And my friends all call me Tex
When I lived in old New Mexico
They used to call me Mex
When I lived in old Kentucky
They called me Old Kentuck
I was born in old Shamokin
Which is why they call me Melvin Rose

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: matai
Date: 26 Apr 05 - 03:22 AM

Nobody has come up with this so far

day is done
gone the sun
--- -- ---
--- -- ---
--- -- ---
all is well
safely rest
god is nigh

Some kind of salute isn't it and can you fill in the missing words?

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 26 Apr 05 - 03:26 AM

It's words that have been put to the bugle call "Taps":

Day is done
Gone the sun
From the lakes, from the hills, from the sky
All is well
Safely rest
God is nigh

We learned it summer camp in Pennsylvania back in the 60s.

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 26 Apr 05 - 04:12 AM

The good ship Agamemnon -
sank

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST,scouse
Date: 26 Apr 05 - 04:57 AM

Then there's.... I went down to Sammy's Bar...It was closed!!
Tom Pierce,Tom Pierce,Lend I your grey Mare...No!!
Were have you been all day Henry my Son...Out!!

As Aye,   Phil

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST,Fullerton
Date: 26 Apr 05 - 05:39 AM

My love he has listed ....
to fourty -five degrees

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST,Fullerton
Date: 26 Apr 05 - 05:44 AM

Mr. Carthy once sang.......

As I was a goin to the fair in a fie,
I spied a girls petticoat hanging to dry,
So I took off my trousers and hung 'em close by,
For to keep that girls petticoat warm.

The petticoat flapped and it made a loud noise,
It flounced and it fluttered, lost feminine poise,
And it wrapped round the legs of me old corduroys.......
Oh Trousers I hope your on form

Anyone know where this came from?

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Naemanson
Date: 26 Apr 05 - 07:59 AM

You want short songs? I heard this one at Mystic several years ago. It is sung to the tune of The Mermaid. The title is longer than the song. The title is "The true Story of the only voyage of His Swedish Majesty's Famous and Most Powerful Warship, The Vasa."

And the song goes:

It was Friday morn and we set sail,
And we sank to the bottom of the sea.

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST,Redhorse at work
Date: 26 Apr 05 - 08:26 AM

As the B side of one of his records, Shel Silverstein recorded:

"All my friends keep telling me my songs are much too long
So I've just gone and wrote myself a twenty-six second song".

There was a one verse intro, or it would only have been thirteen seconds

nick

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Apr 05 - 08:44 AM

The Corries used to sing:

My brother Bill's a fireman bold,
he pits oot fires.
He's only twenty seven years old,
he pits oot fires.
Oneday a fire he did fight,
Somebody shouted dynamite.
Where he is now he'll be alright.
He pits oot fires.

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST,The Barden of England at work
Date: 26 Apr 05 - 08:54 AM

"Were you ever in Quebec"? - "Non"

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST,banjoman
Date: 26 Apr 05 - 09:46 AM

Heard this Pete Seeger rendition a few years ago:

Why do Scotsmen leave the country
Why do Scotsmen emigrate
They're all following the whisky
Thats exported by the crate.

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST,Seaking
Date: 27 Apr 05 - 03:16 AM

Billy Connoly sang one about goldfish

Oh the goldfish is a fine fish
And he swims round and round

Chorus

...and round and round, and round and round, and round and round , and round and round

Repeat Chorus

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Lanfranc
Date: 27 Apr 05 - 04:00 AM

Another "Greensleeves" variant, from Derek Craft of 1812:

"My darling, you look a bit of a mess
When you wipe your nose on the sleeve of your dress
It's most unhygienic you must confess
It's no wonder the boys call you Greensleeves"

And, to the tune of the Can-Can (Derek Craft again):

"I know a girl called Lisa, she's a little teaser
And she lives in Paris with a rich old geezer.
So beautiful is Lisa, if she went to Pisa
I am sure the tower would stand up straight"

Alan

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST,Guest, Adam
Date: 27 Apr 05 - 04:22 AM

I hate to lengthen one of your short songs, but the B part of the Irish Washerwoman is:
McTavish he suffered from peritonitis,
His brother he suffered from chronic arthritis,
And both of them died and oh my, how they cried
When each of them found that the other had died.

Pat Shuldham Shaw passed it on to lots of folk.

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: CStrong
Date: 27 Apr 05 - 07:32 AM

You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
Better not pout, I'm tellin' you why:
Santa Claus is dead."

Don't sing it at the kids' show...

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 27 Apr 05 - 08:07 AM

oh when I was just a wee liitle lad
Full of health and joy
My Grandad homeward came one night and he brought this toy
it was a lovely sight to see
all pretty colours bright
i only started to have me doubts
when he pulled off grandma's tights
Cos she went oooh when it moved
and ooooooooh when stopped and
oooooooooooh when it stood still
it was a rubber penis on a black and decker drill!

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Grab
Date: 27 Apr 05 - 08:34 AM

Frogprince, that's part of a longer song by Garth Brooks. Excerpts don't count! :-)

Tom Paxton has lots of short songs. I like this one:-

(Tune: Twinkle twinkle little star)

"Tinky Winky must be gay",
I heard Jerry Falwell say.
"He is purple - and what's worse,
Tinky Winky has a purse.
That triangle on his head
Is a symbol," Jerry said.
But I think it's just a sign
That Jerry has too much free time.

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Abby Sale
Date: 27 Apr 05 - 08:40 AM

There's a difference between travesties (for which you really need to know the base song) and genuine short ballads which stand alone. Here's my favorite:

I Was Standing On the Corner         (From Ed McCurdy)

I was standing on the corner
Just as lonely as could be,
When up there came an ugly man
And tied his horse to me.
---

Actually, I've been collecting these for some while. Here's a few others:

Bessie Bell and Mary Grey         (Child #201)

Bessie Bell and Mary Grey,
They were twa bonnie lasses.
They biggit their bower on yon burnside
And thackit ower wi' rushes.

They thackit ower wi' rushes green,
They thackit ower wi' heather;
But the plague cam' fae the borrow toon
An' burried them baith thegaither
-------------------------------------------

The Colorado Trail

Eyes like the morning star,
Cheeks like the rose,
Laura was a pretty girl,
Everybody knows.

Weep all ye little rains,
Wail winds wail,
All along, along, along,
The Colorado Trail.

----------------------

Dog Tick         (from Peggy Seeger)

Dog tick, dog tick, dog tick, 'bacco worm,
Why can't a dog tick dance like a 'bacco worm?

-------------

The Lady in Red         (From Dr. IS Posen)

See the lady in red,
Makes her living on her bed.
For fifteen cents she'll do it once;
For twenty-five cents she'll do it twice.

Here I stand
With a nickel in my hand...
Hey buddy, can you spare a dime.

(Legman notes that the 15 cent price is part of the joke as it's ludicrously low. Typical depression-era low-cost cost was about $2, rising to $5 with the War. He suggests that the song may include the hidden admonition "that the reward of sin may not always necessarily be death, but it ain't much."

-----------------------------

Bob-Tailed Mare       As sung by Phil & Sid Taylor (Sifalid) of near Edinburgh

Of all the horses in the merry green wood
The bob-tailed mare bears the bells away.
There is "Hey," there is "Ree," there is "Whoa" there is "Gee,"
But the bob-tailed mare bears the bells away.
"Hey, Ree, Whoa, Gee,"
But the bob-tailed mare bears the bells away.

---------------------------------------

There's many more verses but I think probably 99% of the times its actually sung, "Cottoneye Joe" is simply:

Where did you come from? where did you go?
Where did you come from, Cottoneye Joe?

I come for to see you, come for to sing,
Come for to show you my diamond ring.

---------------------------------

The 1930'S                     (by Bob Davenport)

The 1930's was always on my mind,
So a steady job was the thing to find.
Now as Wall Street totters and a slump grows near,
Thank the Lord,
I've got a barber's job...in a maternity ward.

---------------------------------

Ye Can't Put Yer Muck in Oor Dustbin         (Glasgow street song)

Ye can't put yer muck in oor dustbin
   Oor dustbin, oor dustbin.
Ye can't put yer muck in oor dustbin
   Oor dustbin, fu'

---------------------------------

WAD YE DO THAT?         (Robert Burns, in _Merry Muses of Caledonia_, page 14   
         Tune: John Anderson, my jo)
                           
Gudewife when your gudeman's frae hame,       [away from]
   Micht I but be sae bauld,
As come to your bed-chamber,
   When winter nichts are cauld;
As come to your bedchamber,
   When nichts are cauld and wat;
And lie in your gudeman's stead;
   Wad ye do that?

Young man an ye should be so kind,
   When our gudeman's frae hame,
As come to my bed-chamber,
   Where I am laid my lane;                   [alone]
And lie in our gudeman's stead,
   I will tell ye what,
He f---s me five times ilka nicht,            [fucks, every]
   Wad ye do that?

-------------------------------------

Supper Is Na Ready         (Robert Burns, in _Merry Muses of Caledonia_, page 45, Tune: Clout the Cauldron - as they all are- learned from MacColl. That is, I did. I don't know where Burns got it.)

Roseberry to his lady says,
        "My hinnie and my succour.
"O shall we do the thing you ken,
        "Or shall we take our supper."
                        Fal lal &c.    [MacColl didn't sing "Fal lal &c."]

Wi' modest face, sae fu' o' grace,
        Replied the bonny lady;
"My noble lord do as ye please,
        "But supper is na ready."
                        Fal lal &c.

----------------------------

My Brither Bill         (Glasgow street song, per MacColl)

My brither Bill's a fireman bold,
   He pits oot fires.
Only twenty-three years old,
   He pits oot fires.
He went to a fire the other night
When somebody shouted, "Dynamite!"
Wherever he is, he'll be all right.
   He pits oot fires.

----------------------------

My Ma's a Millionaire        (Glasgow street song, per MacColl)

My ma's a millionaire,
Big feet and curley hair,
Walking down Buchannan Street
With her big banana feet
My ma's a millionaire.

------------------------------

"Old Aunt Kate"        (From Peggy Seeger)

Old Aunt Kate she baked a cake
She baked it 'hind the gar-den gate.

She sift the meal and gimme the dust,
She baked the bread and gimme the crust,

She eat the meal and gimme the skin,"
And that's the way she took me in.

-----------------------------------

Old Mother Riley        (learned from Phil & Sid Taylor &
                         in _101_ Scottish Songs)

Old Mother Riley at the pawnshop door,
Baby in her arms and a bundle on the floor.
She asked for ten bob, she only got four,
And she nearly pull't the hinges off the pawnshop door.

------------------------------------

Oor Cat's Deid        (learned from Phil & Sid Taylor &
                         in _101_ Scottish Songs)

Lingle lingle lang tang oor cat's deid
Whit did she dee wi'?
Wi' a sair heid!
A' ye that kent her
When she was alive
Come to her funeral
Atween four and five.

---------------------------------------

Siembamba          (a S. African mother's song, per Marais & Miranda)

Siembamba, momie's baby,
Siembamba, momie's baby,
Twist his neck and hit him on his head,
Throw him in the ditch and he'll be dead.

Siembamba, momie's baby,
Siembamba, momie's baby,
Just for love she throws him in the ditch,
Momie's sweet little, sweet little.........baby.
=============================================================

Some years back, Paul Stamler began to count words, seeking Shortest Stand-alone ballad. He offered the above-mentioned, "Papa loved mama" as being only 14 words.

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: JennyO
Date: 27 Apr 05 - 11:15 AM

The Oz version:

"I'll sing of John Howard and the good things he's done."

This is not a song, but a poem:

"There was movement at the station
For the word had passed around,
That the colt from old Regret had got away -
So they went out and brought him back."

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: frogprince
Date: 27 Apr 05 - 04:35 PM

Grab: pay attention; do you think that, 50 years ago, I heard Carl Sandburg sing an excerpt from a Garth Brooks song? Sandburg specifically referred to it as "the shortest blues song"; Brooks messed with that by including it in his song. It ticked me off when I heard Brooks do that.

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: ConcertinaChap
Date: 27 Apr 05 - 04:40 PM

Martin said to his man,
"Sod off"

Chris

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Kim C
Date: 27 Apr 05 - 04:51 PM

Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl
But she hasn't got a lot to say
Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl
But she changes from day to day
Wanna tell her that I love her a lot
But I gotta get a belly full of wine
Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl
Someday I'm gonna make her mine, oh yeah
Someday I'm gonna make her mine.

---The Beatles.

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Naemanson
Date: 27 Apr 05 - 05:39 PM

In Alan Lomax's Folk Songs Of North America there is one called My Sweetheart's A Mule. It's attributed to GG Korson's Minstrels Of the Mine Patch (1927)

My sweetheart's a mule in the mines,
I drive her without any lines,
On the bumpers I sit and tobacco I spit,
All over my sweetheart's behind.

I learned it but my (ex-)wife hated it when I sang it.

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST,lamarca (cookieless)
Date: 27 Apr 05 - 06:44 PM

Parody of Willy O'Winsbury
(learned from Martyn Wyndham-Read)

Young Willy's knocked up the king's daughter Janet
Now her apron strings won't tie down
The king, bein' a pansy,
Young Willy did fancy
Now he's next in line for the crown...

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 02:12 AM

My old grandmaw when she very very old used to sing a song at family parties (in our house they were called drunken-auntie parties, can't remember why):

Ye banks and braes o bonnie Doune
I've jist stood up noo I'm gonny sit doon

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST,Bill the Collie
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 02:13 AM

Sorry, last guest wis me!

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST,Pete
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 11:33 AM

The valiant ship The Anthracite, she sank in Plymouth Sound

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: JennyO
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 12:07 PM

The answer my friends
The answer my friends
The ants are my friends
They are my friends.

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: GUEST,Puffenkinty
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 02:50 PM

"Where have you been all the day,
Randall, my son?
Where have you been all the day,
My handsome young one?"

"None of your business, Mother."

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Folkiedave
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 03:02 PM

A you're adorable, B you're adorable, C. you're adorable too.......

Dave

Subject: RE: Really really short songs
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 07:20 PM

Red Green does a lot of short songs. Here's one

Life is like a river, it winds and ebbs and flows.
And in the end, it'll probably shoot, water up your nose.