Funny things overheard at sessions....

Subject: Funny things overheard at sessions....
From: Hawker
Date: 03 May 05 - 07:20 PM

Tonight at our session at Holsworthy in Devon.......
Customer 1 "What is that instrument,is it a Lute?"

Musician "No It's a cittern"

Customer 1 "Whats the difference?"
Quick as a flash, before the musician could reply......

Customer 2 (the other one!!) "You pull the chain on a cittern when you've finished!!!"
Musicans 2,3 & 4 "Hysterical laughter"

For more of the same, visit the Kings Arms Holsworthy Devon 1st Tuesday of the month.
Cheers, Lucy

Subject: RE: Funny things overheard at sessions....
From: Splott Man
Date: 04 May 05 - 03:50 AM

"So if that's a mandola, and that's an octave mandola, what's the difference?"


Supply your own answer...

Subject: RE: Funny things overheard at sessions....
From: Schantieman
Date: 04 May 05 - 07:13 AM

My ex-brother-in-law has a mandola. It's called Nelson.


I'll get my coat.


S

Subject: RE: Funny things overheard at sessions....
From: kendall
Date: 04 May 05 - 07:23 AM

I was doing a gig at the hotel in Kinross Scotland. This guy in the corner kept asking for Country/Western songs, and although I was not prepared to do that sort of stuff, I finally relented and sang an old Hank Williams song. Then I asked if that's what he wanted, and he said yes, do more. So, I said that I was raised on that music, and did it for years before I became a folk singer. He asked "Why did you shift over"? Before I could answer, some guy at the bar said, "He learned two more chords."

Absolutely true story.

Subject: RE: Funny things overheard at sessions....
From: GUEST
Date: 04 May 05 - 07:49 AM

The wife & I were playiong in one of the sessions at Upton FF last weekend, and one of the Great british Public asked us 'What's the difference between English music and Irish music'.

I was just considering my learned response when the wife said 'Irish music is a bit more diddly-diddly'.

That seemed to satisfy him so we carried on playing.

Subject: RE: Funny things overheard at sessions....
From: GUEST,Bainbo
Date: 04 May 05 - 08:49 AM

Musician: "This is a song about a man who's been working on the land for 40 years."

Voice from the bar: "He must have had a bloody big Thermos."

Subject: RE: Funny things overheard at sessions....
From: The Shambles
Date: 04 May 05 - 11:54 AM

Very pissed man making a request.

Ppplay thatt - DDD - that DEU - you know - that DDEUL ----that BATTLING BANJOS!!

Subject: RE: Funny things overheard at sessions....
From: EagleWing
Date: 04 May 05 - 01:24 PM

Organisor of our local folk club manages to put away a fair amount of beer. He also tends to be very insistant about any requests he makes - they tend to be orders rather than requests.

One night he admitted "I know I'm a bit of a despot!"

Folky 1 "What's a despot, then?"

Folky 2 "A bit like a pisspot only different!"

Frank L.

Subject: RE: Funny things overheard at sessions....
From: GUEST,Toenails John
Date: 04 May 05 - 01:42 PM

We had arrived one eve to begin a session, and as it was raining walked in wet, A customer turned, seeing us and enquired, " is it raining heavier now?" Before we could reply, a quick wit beside him quipped "No. Tis fallin a bit faster alright, but it doesn't weigh any more!!"

Only last night, the same man delivered another gem while leading into the chourus, he broke off and announced, "..right! all together now, one at a time..."

Priceless

Subject: RE: Funny things overheard at sessions....
From: oombanjo
Date: 04 May 05 - 05:36 PM

The room was full, it was a creep round the room session, not to leave out any of the guests I aked the young lady in the corner if she would like to give us one. Once the room calmed down and I started to say sorry, a voice behind said "shut up John you are going to get yourself in a deaper hole",

Subject: RE: Funny things overheard at sessions....
From: mandotim
Date: 04 May 05 - 07:11 PM

Here's one from the Wilkes Head in Leek;
Bloke speaking fluent drunkish keeps asking for a Dylan song. Session isn't going that way, but he's very persistent. The musicians, without a word, all play a Dylan song; six or seven different ones, all at once. Scary thing is, it still sounded like a Dylan song...
Tim from Bit on the Side

Subject: RE: Funny things overheard at sessions....
From: GUEST,Tim
Date: 04 May 05 - 07:14 PM

I was carrying the PA speakers into a pub in North Yorks when a woman stood at bar saw them and said "Eeee,them look loud"

What can you say?

Subject: RE: Funny things overheard at sessions....
From: GUEST,Smiler
Date: 04 May 05 - 10:55 PM

Heard from the bar after a Uillean piper had played a 5 minute set
" I'm sure he missed the repeat sign at the end of the 320th bar"
and of fiddle players who play long sets " Somebody changed his
"DC al Fin" to "DC al-zheimers" and he forgot where to finish

Subject: RE: Funny things overheard at sessions....
From: The Shambles
Date: 05 May 05 - 01:59 AM

Has the session been going long?

Long enough for two 'Banish Misfortunes' already.

Oh - not long then.

Subject: RE: Funny things overheard at sessions....
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Aug 06 - 08:29 AM

Subject: RE: Funny things overheard at sessions....
From: GUEST,Rowan
Date: 31 Aug 06 - 06:22 PM

Guest Tim's comment reminded me of a customer, not at a session but a dance gig in a room up a flight of stairs. Whistle, fiddle, concertina, guitar, darbooka were the instruments. We thought we could cope with the side fills for house speakers and the wedges for foldbacks and so left the bins & horns in the van. The room was acoustially very bright so we thought we'd be OK even with a full house. The mixing desk was a 16 channel Jands ('lots and lots' of knobs) and was located right at the back, just next to the entrance.

According to Ian, our mixer, after we'd been playing for about half an hour a woman came in, saw the desk on her left, sniffed audibly and turned to the people sitting to her right and said, "It's too loud, isn't it!" They merely shrugged. She then turned to Ian and said, much louder, "It's too loud!" He also shrugged.

"Turn it down!" he shouted.
"I can't" he replied.
"Why not?" she shouted.
Very calmly, he answered,
"It's turned off!

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: Funny things overheard at sessions....
From: Charley Noble
Date: 31 Aug 06 - 09:55 PM

Rowan-

Lovely!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Funny things overheard at sessions....
From: Bert
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 01:26 AM

Somebody asked Oliver McElhone for a John Denver song.

Quick as a flash he sang.

"Didn't fill up my gas tank, I crashed in the ocean"

Subject: RE: Funny things overheard at sessions....
From: GUEST,Bruce Baillie
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 01:30 AM

...My self and two other musicians did a Saint Patricks Day gig this year at a pub near Manchester, after two solid hours of Irish songs and tunes a woman came up to us and asked, "could we play something a bit more Irish!"

Subject: RE: Funny things overheard at sessions....
From: Mo the caller
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 03:09 AM

overheard in the interval of a performance of 'Navvies' in Chester. "I like that Irish drum thing, what do you call it, shillelagh".

Subject: RE: Funny things overheard at sessions....
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 01:11 PM

said to man playing an ocarina

And your tortoise really gets off on that sort of thing.......

Subject: RE: Funny things overheard at sessions....
From: donovan
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 01:17 PM

"I'm the sound engineer"

Subject: RE: Funny things overheard at sessions....
From: Paul from Hull
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 01:27 PM

Ah yes, the Ocarina.

Had a mate who would play one, & I would refer to it as giving a tortoise a...well, you know what...

Thing is, I got in the habit of saying it to OTHER people, before ever saying it to him.

One time I said it he actually overheard me....while he was playing.

Honestly, the BEST noise you can get out of an Ocarina is the one where someone SNORTS with laughter while playing it....

This same guy also played the spoons, & one time at a Festival, he must have left them in his tent, & he acqured couple of plastic ones from somewhere, & rattled away happily enough, until I referred to them as TRAINING spoons, before he was allowed to progress to real metal ones...

Subject: RE: Funny things overheard at sessions....
From: Greg B
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 01:43 PM

...and over here we have Tim, the unoffical chief boner
of Mystic Seaport.

Subject: RE: Funny things overheard at sessions....
From: Greg B
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 01:46 PM

At Dickens Faire, where my sailor character was named
'Randy'

Simon Spalding: I'm Paddy West, and he's Randy...

Little wench's voice at the back: 'Oi'll say 'e is!'

Subject: RE: Funny things overheard at sessions....
From: Kaleea
Date: 01 Sep 06 - 05:51 PM

On some occasions when I have played: (not at the same time!) an Autoharp; a Zither; a Harmonium; a small antique pump pipe organ----
   "Is that a Harpsichord?"

Many years ago, I was playing piano accompanyment for a Bassoon player at a recital. Two elderly ladies were trying to figure out what the solo instrument was, and one of them answered loudly enough for the first few rows (& us) to hear, "Myrtle, don't be ridiculous! That's a Sousaphone--you know, just like Tommy Dorsey's brother, Jimmy, used to play."

But the best one I can remember was when I was playing accompanyment on an antique keyboard with a Renaissance instrumental group for a large Rennaissance festival audience, and the MC, Dean of a local Univ Music school, correctly read from the program, " . . .and next we have the Renaissance ensemble with Kaleea accompanying on the Vaginal."
          instead of the Virginal