BS: Philosophy as a joke

Subject: BS: Philosophy is a joke
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 12:39 AM

---

Click for the 'PermaThread™: List of all joke threads'

---

How do you get a philosopher off your porch? Pay for the pizza.

Philosophy students don't have more fun. Ralph just stays home Saturday nights putting Descartes before the whores.

What do you get if you cross an insomniac with a dyslexic?
Some one who stays up all night contemplating if their is a dog.

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: dianavan
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 01:21 AM

Donuel - I don't think philosophy is a joke. If I had been a rich lady and could have afforded the luxury of learning for the love of learning, I would have studied more philosophy. Alas, I had to put the groceries on the table!

Philosophy taught me how to clarify my thinking. I learned about logic and reason. I learned about faith. I learned about the power of the word. I learned different philosophies so that I could develop my own. Philosophy isn't for everybody but its certainly not a joke.

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: Le Scaramouche
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 01:23 AM

Don't regret not learning philosophy at school, that's the sort of thing they just can't teach.

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: Sooz
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 02:50 AM

I'm pink therefore I'm spam.

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: alanabit
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 03:39 AM

I think philosophy can be taught as much as anything else. As I understand it, philosophy is concerned with a methodology of thinking. Like any other methodology, you can choose to accept, reject or adapt it. I assume what La Scaramouche meant to get across, is that nobody else can make decisions for you about what to think. I don't think anyone is disputing that.
I know nothing about philosophy. If I had the time and financial resources, I would correct that!

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: alanabit
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 03:40 AM

By the way... I did enjoy the jokes...

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 03:52 AM

BRUCES PHILOSOPHERS SONG:-
Immanuel Kant was an old pissant, who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could 'think' you under the table.
David Hume could outconsume Wilhelm Frederich Hegel.
And Wittgenstien was a beery swine, who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothin Nietzche couldn't teach ya but the raising of the wrist.
Socrates himself, was permanently pissed!.
John Stuart Mill of his own free will, On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato they say could stick it away, half a crate of whisky every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle and Hobbes was fond of his dram.
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart "I drink therefore I am!"
Yes Socrates himself is particularly missed....
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed!.

Composed by Eric Idle and from the Monty Python albums.
Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: Le Scaramouche
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 04:01 AM

This of course is from their Australian university skit.
They are dressed in outback gear and are all called Bruce. Some good line like you can teach all of the great socialist thinkers as long as you make it absolutely clear they are WRONG.

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 05:15 AM

Bruce and myself have come here from the University of Woolamaloo, I'm in charge of logical positivism    and Bruce is in charge of the sheep dip.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: gnu
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 05:42 AM

The cost of "higher" education is no joke, but, a library card doesn't cost much. And, if structure and progression is a problem, one can find the required texts for university courses online and purchase these texts. While tuition is high, texts MAY be affordable, or relatively affordable.

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: GUEST,sorefingers
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 06:19 AM

Who thinks not, is not!

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 06:39 AM

Woolloomooloo Lair

On the day that I was born, it was a cold & a frosty morn,
In the famous suburb known as Woolloomooloo.
It was down in Riley Street my folks first heard me bleat
'Cause at the time I'd nothing else to do.
Oh me mother died of fright when she saw me in the light
And my father thought he'd send me to the zoo,
But I owe a lot to him, 'cause he taught me how to swim,
When he heaved me off the pier at Woolloomooloo

    Oh my name it is McCarty & I'm a rorty party
    I'm rough & tough as an old man kangaroo
    Some people say I'm crazy, I don't work because I'm lazy
    And I tag along in the boozing throng, the Push from Woolloomooloo.

And when I was just a lad I went straight'way to the bad
A larrikin so hard, you'd strike me blue
But the government was kind and they didn't seem to mind
And in Darlinghurst I spent a night or two.
Now the judge gave me a stare and he said, "You're a lair"
They heaved me into Darlinghurst gaol - you understand
They gave me clothes, they cut my hair, I didn't seem to care
And every night you'd find me in the van.

And I spent some years in gaol till I began to quail
I resolved to live upon a different lay
And enlisted in the ranks of the Salvation Army 'cranks'
You can bet I made the bloody business pay!
Well hallelujah! I'm a lout I knows me way about
I kids the mugs that I'm converted too
All the lassies there I mash and I'm never short of cash
'Cause I beats me drum all over Woolloomooloo.

You can find anything round here, most often whilst looking for something else...

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: jacqui.c
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 07:33 AM

LOL Donuel et al :0))

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 11:14 AM

Why 'sorefingers' who thinks not is not not?

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 11:28 AM

Philosophy is often interdisciplinary -- scholars in many programs learning critical thinking skills that can be traced back to various philosophers or their schools of thought. But the usage across fields is good--the more people learn to think for themselves the better off we'll all be.

Don, there's a joke I heard as an English MA candidate that worked just as well when I was a philsophy MA candidate--but all I can remember is the punch line:

"You want fries with that?"

Too bad the majors that feature communication and thinking skills aren't higher paying. It would benefit a lot of people to have an incentive to learn to think.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: Bill D
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 11:45 AM

philosophers are really romantic people ....in their own way.
Everyone has heard of a Platonic kiss, but not every Philosopher kisses like that...fortunately.

Here are some kisses to curl your epistemological toes.


Aristotelian kiss
a kiss performed using techniques gained solely from theoretical speculation untainted by any experiential data by one who feels that the latter is irrelevant anyway.

Hegelian kiss
dialiptical technique in which the kiss incorporates its own antithikiss, forming a synthekiss.

Wittgensteinian kiss
the important thing about this type of kiss is that it refers only to the symbol (our internal mental representation we associate with the experience of the kiss--which must necessarilly also be differentiated from the act itself for obvious reasons and which need not be by any means the same or even similar for the different people experiencing the act) rather than the act itself and, as such, one must be careful not to make unwarranted generalizations about the act itself or the experience thereof based merely on our manipulation of the symbology therefor.

Godelian kiss
a kiss that takes an extraordinarilly long time, yet leaves you unable to decide whether you've been kissed or not.

Socratic kiss
really a Platonic kiss, but it's claimed to be the Socratic technique so it'll sound more authoritative; however, compared to most strictly Platonic kisses, Socratic kisses wander around a lot more and cover more ground.
Kantian kiss
a kiss that, eschewing inferior "phenomenal" contact, is performed entirely on the superior "noumenal" plane; though you don't actually feel it at all, you are, nonetheless, free to declare it the best kiss you've ever given or received.

Kafkaesque kiss
a kiss that starts out feeling like it's about to transform you but ends up just bugging you.

Sartrean kiss
a kiss that you worry yourself to death about even though it really doesn't matter anyway.

Russell-Whiteheadian kiss
a formal kiss in which each lip and tongue movement is rigorously and completely defined, even though it ends up seeming incomplete somehow.

Hertzsprung-Russellian kiss
Oh, Be A Fine Girl/Guy, Kiss Me.

Pythagorean kiss
a kiss given by someone who has developed some new and wonderful techniques but refuses to use them on anyone for fear that others would find out about them and copy them.

Cartesian kiss
a particularly well-planned and coordinated movement: "I think, therefore, I aim." In general, a kiss does not count as Cartesian unless it is applied with enough force to remove all doubt that one has been kissed. (cf. Polar kiss, a more well-rounded movement involving greater nose-to-nose contact, but colder overall.)

Heisenbergian kiss
a hard-to-define kiss--the more it moves you, the less sure you are of where the kiss was; the more energy it has, the more trouble you have figuring out how long it lasted. Extreme versions of this type of kiss are known as "virtual kisses" because the level of uncertainty is so high that you're not quite sure if you were kissed or not. Virtual kisses have the advantage, however, that you need not have anyone else in the room with you to enjoy them.

Nietzscheian kiss
"she/he who does not kiss you, makes your lust stronger."

Epimenidian kiss
a kiss given by someone who does not kiss.

Grouchoic kiss
a kiss given by someone who will only kiss those who would not kiss him or her.

Harpoic kiss
shut up and kiss me.

Zenoian kiss
your lips approach, closer and closer, but never actually touch.

Procrustean kiss
suffice it to say that it is a technique that, once you've experienced it, you'll never forget it, especially when applied to areas of the anatomy other than the lips.

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: Bill D
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 12:09 PM

and to make the entire concern musical, you can SING the great intellectual theories of history relevance! Wow, gang! Philosophical Karaoke!

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 12:28 PM

You can all sing along with the Bruces here: http://www.uwm.edu/~jmschell/humor.htm

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 01:00 PM

The colleges and universities are making WAY too many philosophers these days!

After all, how many taxi drivers do we need?

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: Pied Piper
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 02:42 PM

Physicist goes to the financial administrator of the institution and asks for 10 million dollars to build a new particle accelerator.


FA "You Physicists are so expensive. Why can't you be like the Mathematicians all they need are pencils, paper and waste-paper baskets? Better still you could be like the Philosophers all they need is Pencils and paper.

PP

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: Troll
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 02:54 PM

BillD, you have too much free time.














lucky bugger

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 04:03 PM

YES, philosophy is a joke!! When you make up a joke about things philosophical, and then tell it, it IS a joke. D. needs a sense of humor---first and foremost.

Simple as that.

And the great old joke: Descarte goes into0 a bar. Bartender asks him, "Would you like a beer?" He answers, "NO"---and disappears.

ANYTHING is fodder for jokes. Like philosophy, humor can shed it's own sort of light on any topic at all.

Art

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 04:04 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 04:06 PM

Humor is in the eye/ear/nose of the beholder.

He actually answered, "I think not"---and then disappeared.

Art

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: beardedbruce
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 04:32 PM

PP


Great!

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: GUEST,sorefingers
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 05:48 PM

If 2^2 is x then /x is 2 show that log xbase2 = 2.

Thats more philosphy for ya! no joke!

Want s'more?

1.
What else did Rev Rene De Cartes invent?

2.
Hows about when x^2 must = z^2+y^2. A show that 'both' z and y must either be finite or infinite 'numeric' symbolic expressions; and B, if infinite, in your own words explain that phenomenon .

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 10:25 PM

The love of knowledge is only laughable when the source of all knowing is finally known.

But then, you disappear.

It has nothing to do with thinking in the usual sense, in my opinion.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 11:04 PM

Right on, Amos. Just as you said. And the World also disappears "when the source of all knowing is finally known".

Philosophy is great. Truth is greater. And what is Truth? Truth is that which does not change, never ends, never begins, and never passes away.

It is unknown because it is everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Accordingly, people don't see it.

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: dianavan
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 11:08 PM

Art - You need to stop taking everything I say in such a negative way. Philosophy is not a joke to me because I would have liked to graduate with a humanities degree but it was too dear. Of course anything can be made into a joke. In fact it is all a joke. I was just trying to state my admiration for thinkers that helped to advance civilization as we know it today. Maybe thats the biggest joke of all.

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: Le Scaramouche
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 06:03 AM

You can take philosophy by yourself. All you need is a library.

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: Leadfingers
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 06:10 AM

Actually NONE of you really exist ! You are all just characters in MY dream !!!

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: jacqui.c
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 06:49 AM

I can imagine that the majority of philosophers would have had a good sense of humour, otherwise they would not have have the broad base necessary to put forward a theory of existence. Humour is the yeast that leavens the bread of any subject.

Anything we do can be made easier with some humour and a smile or a laugh can lighten the mood.

There are a lot of things that I would have liked to have done, given the time and finances. I couldn't do them but I'm not going to go into terminal angst because of that. My philosophy is that we should enjoy what we have and not mourn what wasn't possible. Life is too short for regrets.

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: Le Scaramouche
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 07:00 AM

Mark Steel on Plato: Bah! The bitch left me! if she was even really there....

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: Donuel
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 08:04 AM

Late at night at the Philosopher's Convention:

Bartender: "Last call for drinks ladies and gentlemen! Excuse me sir would like like one more?"

Bleary eyed customer: "I thnk not" ...whereupon he promptly vanished into thin air.

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: Wolfgang
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 09:39 AM

Now that waste basket joke is a really nasty joke, Pied Piper. I love it.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: mooman
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 09:57 AM

Question: How many Kuhnian constructionist philosophers of science does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer: "You are still thinking in terms of "incremental change" ...what we really need is paradigm shift ...we do not need a bulb with additional attributes, we need ubiquitous luminescence."

Peace

moo

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 10:04 AM

Non-optional ubiquitous luminescence? We would tire of it, surely! One good thing about the current paradigm is the switch.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 10:04 AM

Leadfingers...could you arrange for a part in your dream where I get to date Winona Ryder?

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: GUEST,Bruce
Date: 23 Jun 05 - 04:16 AM

I'm glad I'm in charge of the sheep dip.

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 23 Jun 05 - 04:18 AM

If, of course the sheep dip exists.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 23 Jun 05 - 05:25 AM

Sheep dip definitely does exist in the form of a delicious 12yr old whisky..I can vouch for that.
Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: Le Scaramouche
Date: 23 Jun 05 - 05:40 AM

But is it really there?

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: jacqui.c
Date: 23 Jun 05 - 07:51 AM

It stinks therefore it am.

Subject: RE: BS: Philosophy as a joke
From: Le Scaramouche
Date: 23 Jun 05 - 09:09 AM

Are we going according to Plato, or is it dialectics?

BTW I have summed up my philosophy into one short and catchy phrase:
No man is an equasion, computed in and of itself....

Allen