Lyr Req: Sporting Suicide / Beaten by the Poms

Subject: Beaten by the Poms
From: Dug
Date: 09 Jul 05 - 09:33 AM

I need the lyrics to John Dengate's song "Beaten by the Poms" and I need it by Saturday night GMT- to perform at Lords tomorrow, Can anyone help please?

Doug

Subject: RE: Beaten by the Poms
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 09 Jul 05 - 12:09 PM

bet the yanks think this is a fantasy thread about cheerleaders

Subject: RE: Beaten by the Poms
From: Sorcha
Date: 09 Jul 05 - 12:31 PM

Google was no help. Neither was his website.

Subject: RE: Beaten by the Poms
From: Dug
Date: 09 Jul 05 - 04:48 PM

thanks anyhow

Subject: Lyr Add: SPORTING SUICIDE (John Dengate)
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 09 Jul 05 - 09:58 PM

G'day Dug,

It's in his second book My Shout Again!, (Maleny Folk Festival ... ?), 1989 ... an expanded version of what I published as My Shout! in 1982.

I hope you are going to sing this loudly to our team ... before their next match!

Regards,

Bob

SPORTING SUICIDE
Words: John Dengate                     Tune: Go To Sea No More

Zimbabwe humbled our cricket team and Queensland beat the Blues.
The Kiwis over from Auckland they have shaken the Kangaroos;
It's Mitterand twenty and Bob Hawke nil in the argument over the bombs
But I'll drive to the Gap and jump over, old chap, if we're beaten by the Poms.
Chorus: (a):
       The Poms, boys, the Poms; beaten by the Poms;
       I'll drive to the Gap and jump over, old chap, If we're beaten by the Poms.

We used to be kings of Wimbeldon and we won at Forest Hills.
We'd Waratah sides that could fling it out wide and astonish you with our skills.
I'll wager the mint that our women could sprint and blimey we could swim,
And when Elliot ran, there was no mortal man who could stay the mile with him.
Chorus: (b):
       With him, boys, with him; stay the mile with him
       When Elliot ran, there was no mortal man, could stay the mile with him.

How we've slipped from those lofty heights that we climbed to in the past:
It's bloody good fun when you're winning, my friend, but no fun finishing last;
And when re-cycled Rhodesians go and smack Australia's seat;
It's time to be frightened of Liechtenstein; they're a damned hard side to beat.

I dreamt we were beaten at Aussie Rules by a massive final score,
And it wasn't the mighty Munster men; it was just El Salvador;
I'm nervous the way our cricketers play and my apprehension shows:
I'm dreading the night that we fall to the might of the terrible Eskimos.
Final Chorus :
       The Poms, boys, the Poms; beaten by the Poms;
       Jump off the Gap or turn on the gas tap if we're beaten by the Poms.

John writes:
I am a rotten sport. I crow and boast when Australia wins and I moan and sulk when we lose. I cannot stomach being beaten, by England especially. My father was the same. All Dengates are totally one-eyed about our country's sporting reps &, especially our cricket teams. I have one distant relative who was actually christened Don Bradman Dengate. I danced for joy when I was told about it.

Glossary (for non Aussie readers!):

Kiwis - New Zealanders, especially their sporting teams.
Mitterand - French leader back when we were objecting to them letting off nuclear bombs in our backyard!
The Gap - high cliff on Sydney Harbour's South Head ... notorious suicide site.
Poms - English, especially their sporting teams.
Waratah[s] - New South Wales state floral emblem [and our Rugby (League .. ?) team].
Elliot (Herb) - Australian long-distance runner (~'60s).

Subject: RE: lyr req: Beaten by the Poms (John Dengate)
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 01:26 AM

G'day again Dug,

I hope this set of words got to you in time ... the Aussie team definitely needs to be gingered up! I must have just signed off Mudcat when you requested the words and I did not see your post until Saturday morning, Sydney time.

I presume you know the tune - or can fit it to Go to Sea no More - but I have scanned in the pages from the book ... then found I don't have your e-mail in my home computer's address book. (I think you probably have my work address.) If you want a copy of the scan (it's always a good idea if the other musicians know the tune to what you are singing) ... pop off a PM to me and I'll e-mail it off poste haste.

Regards,

Bob

Subject: RE: lyr req: Beaten by the Poms (John Dengate)
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 07:04 PM

But I note he never went so far as to imagine Australia being hammered by Bangla Desh...

Subject: RE: lyr req: Beaten by the Poms (John Dengate)
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 11:37 PM

G'day McGrath,

Well ... John did mention:
"... time to be frightened of Liechtenstein

    ... it was just El Salvador
          ... fall to the might of the terrible Eskimos ...".
I think we can rank Bangladesh a few steps higher than that!

Anyway, Patricia (she's the resident "cricket tragic" in our house) has been complaining for some time that the Aussies have been having it too easy. It's about time they got back to playing cricket!

Regards,

Bob

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Sporting Suicide / Beaten by the Poms
From: Tannywheeler
Date: 22 Jul 05 - 02:21 PM

Say, all y'all Down Under folks. I'm sorry for your losses, but the song is a pretty good one -- that is, it expresses, somewhat humorously, a particular point of view. I'm in Texas. I'm not a major sports fan (hubby is), but I understand some of the feelings/ideas presented by the poetry. Makes me smile and shake my head at the (so many men)folks for whom "games" are such a passion. Thanks for the words. Hope the program went off alright.    Tw

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Sporting Suicide / Beaten by the Poms
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 23 Jul 05 - 05:12 AM

Errr... G'day Tannywheeler,

Well, Patricia says: "Poor little innocent ... the Americans just don't get it ... this isn't a game ... it's WAR!"

Myself, I will concede that the Australians have been keen to beat the English at any game you care to mention ... since around the arrival of the "Second Fleet" in 1790.

Regards,

Bob

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Sporting Suicide / Beaten by the Poms
From: alanabit
Date: 23 Jul 05 - 11:08 AM

I can't think of any sport at which the Australians are bad enough to lose to England. They even stuffed us three one at football - in England - the last time they played us at our real national sport. The usual bravado has been talked up prior to the tests, but a good hammering at cricket is something so quintessentially English, that we would not miss it for the world. It is a bit like having all our players knocked out in the first week at Wimbledon or a fortnight of rain when we are planning on hosting surfing championships.
That was a bloody funny song. It is the one advantage of losing. You don't get a lot of humour out of success stories!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Sporting Suicide / Beaten by the Poms
From: Tannywheeler
Date: 23 Jul 05 - 11:48 AM

Tell 'em well, Bob B. Sometimes I catch on quick. Notice the word "games" was in quotes. There are "sports fans" of a similar heart in Texas, and I've known a few.
Everybody's gotta believe in something--I believe I'll have another drink.   Y'all be good.          Tw

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Sporting Suicide / Beaten by the Poms
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Jul 05 - 04:23 PM

Australia beat England at football? Do me a favour - exactly what kind of England team were they playing - Grannies United? Aussies are only good at sports nobody else plays. Who in England plays cricket these days? What scools have cricket teams? 99% of teenage boys wouldn't know which end of the bat to hold. It's a game for toffs and poof-dahs.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Sporting Suicide / Beaten by the Poms
From: alanabit
Date: 23 Jul 05 - 07:27 PM

There was an international at Southampton, which the Aussies won easily. I believe Harry Kewell scored twice.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Sporting Suicide / Beaten by the Poms
From: alanabit
Date: 23 Jul 05 - 07:35 PM

Correction:Wednesday, February 12, 2003 at Upton. Harry Kewell only scored once. It was Wayne Rooney's England debut. I think our guest's sporting expertise might be on a par with his spelling.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Sporting Suicide / Beaten by the Poms
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 23 Jul 05 - 07:49 PM

I know Morris Dancing isn't technically a sport - but I note from this that the OzMorris website doesn't sem to have been updated since 2002.

So there might just be a chance for a snatched English victory there if there was a quick challenge...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Sporting Suicide / Beaten by the Poms
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 23 Jul 05 - 11:24 PM

G'day McGrath,

Far be it from me to accuse you of a bit of Pommy 'pitch preparation' ... but your link is to an historical item: "See what some of the Aussie Morris were up to..." (my bolding).

This item, on local (Sydney) side: Black Joak includes a photograph from our 2005 National Folk Festival ... a bit difficult if the " website doesn't sem to have been updated since 2002" - at least, without help from Dr Who's Tardis!

Of course, I don't have any personal brief for "jingling mob of Pommie p(ersonage)s" ... I have suggested to Sydney sides wishing to perform at past Bush Music events that we might be interested in an historical reenactment of one of the rare early settlement mentions of the pursuit ... but it would involve the side being flogged ... as were some convicts caught morris dancing!

Regards,

Bob

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Sporting Suicide / Beaten by the Poms
From: JennyO
Date: 24 Jul 05 - 04:03 AM

Ha! Bob, you beat me to it with Black Joak Morris. They are going to be on the James Craig on Wednesday night, and at my folk club in November - and a very agile bunch of lads they are too!

Jenny

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Sporting Suicide / Beaten by the Poms
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 24 Jul 05 - 01:14 PM

"Flogging the Morris" might go down very well in some places.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Sporting Suicide / Beaten by the Poms
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 25 Jul 05 - 02:35 AM

G'day Dug,

I hope you have a few more chances to serenade our lads ... life will be much more peaceful around the house if we keep winning!

Regards,

Bob

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Sporting Suicide / Beaten by the Poms
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Aug 20 - 05:06 PM

Good on you Bob. You’re a beaut.