BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 16 Sep 05 - 12:03 PM

Let every man so pitch his song...

And start again, he's got it wrong!

Still recovering from various birthday treats.... not into singing much at the moment, but I will have a hair of the dog if it's going.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 15 Sep 05 - 08:37 PM

anybody else want to sing?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 15 Sep 05 - 08:20 PM

I really have a yen
To go back once again,
Back to the place where no one wears a frown,
To see once more those super-special just plain folks
In my home town.

No fellow could ignore
The little girl next door,
She sure looked sweet in her first evening gown.
Now there's a charge for what she used to give for free
In my home town.

I remember Dan, the druggist on the corner, he
Was never mean or ornery,
He was swell.
He killed his mother-in-law and ground her up real well,
And sprinkled just a bit
Over each banana split.

The guy that taught us math,
Who never took a bath,
Acquired a certain measure of renown,
And after school he sold the most amazing pictures
In my home town.

That fellow was no fool
Who taught our Sunday School,
And neither was our kindly Parson Brown --
(We're recording tonight, so I'll have to leave this line out.)
In my home town.

I remember Sam, he was the village idiot,
And though it seems a pity, it
Was so.
He loved to burn down houses just to watch the glow,
And nothing could be done,
Because he was the mayor's son.

The guy that took a knife
And monogrammed his wife,
Then dropped her in the pond and watched her drown.
Oh, yes indeed, the people there are just plain folks
In my home town.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 15 Sep 05 - 08:18 PM

We are the Folk Song Army,
Ev'ryone of us cares.
We all hate poverty, war, and injustice,
Unlike the rest of you squares.

There are innocuous folk songs,
But we regard them with scorn.
The folks who sing 'em have no social conscience
Why, they don't even care if Jimmy Crack Corn.

If you feel dissatisfaction,
Strum your frustrations away,
Some people may prefer action,
But give me a folk song any old day.

The tune don't have to be clever,
And it don't matter if you put a coupla extra syllables into a line.
It sounds more ethnic if it ain't good English,
And it don't ever gotta rhyme---excuse me---rhyne.

Remember the war against Franco?
That's the kind where each of us belongs.
Though he may have won all the battles,
We had all the good songs.

So join in the Folk Song Army,
Guitars are the weapons we bring
To the fight against poverty, war, and injustice.
Ready! Aim! Sing!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 15 Sep 05 - 08:17 PM

THE FOLKSINGERS' BALL

cho: Wha do you lassie?
Wha do you noo?
The one wha do you last time,
He canna do you noo!

1. The Clancy Brothers they were there,
Along with Tommy Makem.
They waved their Finnegans in the air,
But, alas, they could not wake 'em.

2. And Peter with his banjo,
Was pickin' until dawn.
Next morning all the lassies asked,
"Where have all our flowers gone?"

3. Oh, Ed McCurdy he was there,
But not the least obscene.
Compared to all the songs he sings,
This was exquisite clean.

4. Then Jan Ian she came in,
Her behavior was quite mild,
Although she is a grown-up now,
She's still "Society's Child."

5. Professor Child he came in,
But just to take a look,
And every variation,
He wrote down in his book.

6. Then next came Alan Lomax,
With his microphone,
He spent the night recording,
Every squeal and moan.

7. And the Earl of Scruggs he was there,
What do you think of that?
He had a little breakdown,
That left his Lester Flatt.

8. And Old Man Guthrie he was there,
He made the lassies coo,
"Oh, Woody, you are so long,
It's been good to know you, too!"

9. Oh, Huddie Ledbetter he was there,
He made the lassies squeal,
For his belly 'twas said was made of lead,
But his pride was tempered steel.

10. And Ewan MacColl he was there,
Explaining to a lass,
"I sing about the workin',
And not the firkin' class."

11. And McGuinn the Byrdie joined the fun,
He made the lassies yearn.
They stood in queue and one by one,
Each took her "Turn, Turn, Turn."

12. But little Arlo, I pray tell,
He didn't do no firkin',
'Cause he spent the night with A.O.L.,
On the Internet a-lurkin'.

13. And old Josh White he went bare,
A-prancin' through the hall,
Asking all the lassies there,
To taste his "One Meatball."

13. The Carter Family's drinking beer,
They were on a spree,
And every fifteen minutes,
They stopped to take A.P.

14. The singer-songwriters we saw,
Cavorting with their lovers,
Were singin' 'til their throats were raw,
But wouldn't do no covers.

15. Ed Cray had on a costume,
Inspired by the blues,
He dressed up as an old tomcat,
And gave erotic mews.

16. Said Berryman to Berryman,
"What _are_ they doing, dear?"
"Words fail me," answered Berryman,
"I see some mothers here."

17. If you went into the back room,
You might see Oscar Brand,
Working on a ballad,
With whatever came to hand.

18. Oh, Joanie Baez she was there,
Of non-violence she did speak,
So when a laddie bumped her rump,
She turned the other cheek.

19. Don Laycock joined the company,
His face was rather red,
For when they'd introduced him,
There was no more to be said.

20. Tom Lehrer gave a lecture,
That had everybody scared.
He stood on the piano,
And shouted, "Be prepared!"

21. "I've madeira on my waistcoat,"
Poor Flanders said to Swann.
"It worked so well the first time!
Well, let's be getting on."

22. And Robert smiled aboon the crew,
And doun his voice cam ringin',
"For a' that, there are some owre fou,
But wha's owre fou for singin'?"

23. Well, Louie Killen he was there,
His back agin' the wall,
He squeezed and squeezed and squeezed and squeezed,
But it wouldna go in at all.

24. And Ali Anderson he was there,
But he knew what to do.
His 'tina wouldna fit, so,
He's usin' his chanter noo.

25. The Kingston Trio they came in,
The night was very young,
When each one dropped his pants to show,
How Tom Dooley hung.

26. Jean Ritchie she spent the night,
A-ticklin' on her zither,
And all the lads who watched her there,
Couldn't help but shake and shiver.

27. Paul and Mary they came in,
In private he did meet her,
They had a "Puff" of some magic stuff,
And then brought out his Peter.

28. The traditional singer's wife,
Was sighin', "Dear, oh dear!
He never performed a' his life,
Wi'out his finger in his ear."

29. No one was shocked when Cecil Sharp,
Winked at Lester Flatt.
It scarcely seemed unnatural,
They they should have a chat.

30. Richard Dyer-Bennet,
Surprised everybody,
For his stones were like a baritone's,
But his voice a true castrati.

31. Bob Dylan kept his britches on,
So one would never know,
If his hung "Forever Young,"
Or on "Desolation Row."

32. But when he finally took 'em off,
How old Bobby grinned,
For all the gas that he passed,
Was "Blowing in the Wind."

33. Sid and Henry they were there,
A-makin' fast and free,
Though could not do that proper like,
But only parody.

34. Now Gordon Bok he came on down,
From Nor'east on the go.
When they asked him for his pleasure,
He answered, "Isle au Haut!"

35. Stan Rogers he was quick and sure,
And strong with what it takes,
But he wouldna take the lassies at a',
Not even "Between the Breaks."

36. Now k.d. lang she came and looked,
And said, "There's naught to fear,
From all these swinging blades afar,
If I can keep my Holly Near."

37. Lovely Hedy West was there,
Observin' with dismay,
After one quick peek she wished she were,
"Five Hundred Miles" away.

38. Dar Williams she stopped to give,
The older folkies hell,
But when they all exposed themselves,
Said, "My, you're aging well!"

39. Crystal Gale was at the ball,
And her old lover, too.
He sighed and said, "It's been a while,
Since I was 'Blue Bayou.'"

40. The Kingston Trio soon came in,
And everyone was keen,
To know amonst the three of them,
Which one slept in between.

41. And Cecil Sharp was taking notes,
While watching all the fun,
He's never tried himself but he,
Knows all the way's it's done.

42. Stephen, Stephen, he was limply,
Trying harder than most,
To get us all to write a verse,
But couldn't get a post.


By mutual agreement of the authors, this song is now and forever in the PUBLIC DOMAIN. No copyrights are claimed. Among those who contributed or polished up verses are: Joseph C. Fineman, Eric Berge, Sean Smith, Ada M. Prill, Donald Nichols, Abby Sale, Robert Derrick, Justan O. Thereditor, Leslie Evers, Barrie McCombs, and Stephen L. Suffet.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 Sep 05 - 05:11 PM

Was singing this in a traffic jam the other day.... windows wide open.... got some very strange looks from the truck drivers...

Or was that because my dress was caught up in my knickers and I was exposing vast amounts of nekkid flesh?!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 15 Sep 05 - 04:33 PM

I'll hold your hand in mine dear,
I'll press it to my lips
And take a healthy bite from
Your dainty fingertips.

My joy would be complete, dear
If you were only here,
But still I have your hand as
A precious souvenir.

The night you died I cut it off
I really don't know why
For now each time I kiss it
I get bloodstains on my tie

I'm sorry now I killed you
Our love was something fine
And 'till they come to get me
I will hold your hand in mine

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 Sep 05 - 04:42 PM

Thank you all, I drank to it in a very VERY nice Barolo in our local proper Italian restaurant.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: MMario
Date: 14 Sep 05 - 10:52 AM

I'll drink to that! In Godiva Chocolate Liquor!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 14 Sep 05 - 10:43 AM

A toast to LTS on her birthday!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: MBSLynne
Date: 31 Aug 05 - 08:36 AM

I'll be in that Terry! Went to the "Gentle" session at the W/e so now I know how to do it!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Leadfingers
Date: 31 Aug 05 - 06:41 AM

If enough people are not totally played out after the weekend , how about a tune or two ?? I've got a tankard of ale to hand so how about a nice relaxed 'Ashokan Farewell' ?? Key of D and nice and slow .

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: MBSLynne
Date: 31 Aug 05 - 06:14 AM

Just stuck my head in the door to see who was here, and I heard those magic four little words........"I'm buying this round!" so....I'll have a pint of Thatcher's please Liz. Aaaaaaaah, that's better. Too nice a day to sit in here, lets go out into the garden and relax in the shade of that big tree.....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 31 Aug 05 - 04:50 AM

Well.. isn't it amazing the difference that a week away from everyone and a bar of chocolate a day makes.....

Hello everyone, what are you having... I'm buying this round!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 04:34 PM

I NEED A DRINK!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: alanabit
Date: 26 Aug 05 - 07:23 AM

Ain't it time Doug R slipped back in for a pint?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: GUEST,Bill the Collie
Date: 25 Aug 05 - 11:30 AM

go on then

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 24 Aug 05 - 04:48 PM

I warn you, I'm out of chocolate and I'm ready to explode!!1

(I nearly said ready to blow but that didn't sound too good.....)

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 24 Aug 05 - 04:34 PM

Not gone yet, and if f&%$^g car won't start tomorrow, won't be going then either.... f£"$"£g thing!!!!

GIMME MORE BEER!!!!!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 24 Aug 05 - 03:33 PM

refills, all around!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Leadfingers
Date: 24 Aug 05 - 11:41 AM

As Liz and Khatt stagger off in the direction of Towersey Village in
comes a Hairy Oaf laden down with Instrument cases , which he piles in the corner and demands at LEAST a quart of Breakspears . Having taken a large swig , he drags a strange long necked 'thing' out of its case , tweaks the tuning , and launches into what passes for a song !

The Day was fine , the sky was blue , and up above , a Heinkel flew
And in the Ops room they were saying "Heinkel , where can you be
It Flew right past on its way home right o'er the top of Kirton 'drome
And way back Goering he was yelling , Heinkel come back to me

When the controller on the Tannoy told us of this plane
We were delighted
So we sent up all our Spitfires , and a Hurricane
Who said "One enemy is sighted !"

The clouds were low ,the sky was grey , that bloody plane it flew away
But in the sea it fell , left Hitler vainly yelling Heinkel come back to me

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From:
Date: 24 Aug 05 - 06:28 AM

Tent then pub, tent then pub, tent then pub, tent the pub, tent the pub, tent the pub, tent then pub, tent the pub, gin?! I feel better already!!

See you tonight Liz!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 24 Aug 05 - 06:04 AM

Of course... should have done what I did... took the whole week!!!

(Manitas doesn't know I took the week.... I wasn't going to until last Thursday.... I just knew I needed some time here alone to recover from a week of Limpit!).

Consequently, I'm still in my nightshirt and about to start on breakfast at 11.00am!

Just keep repeating this mantra... "tent then pub, tent then pub....."


LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From:
Date: 24 Aug 05 - 05:10 AM

You could say that Liz. I've only been here an hour and 10 minutes and I feel like I been here for a whole day! Its going to drag on purpose too just because I have the rest of the week off!

Gin??...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 24 Aug 05 - 04:50 AM

Bad day at work? I got woken up by the window cleaner doing the bedroom window!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: GUEST,catsphiddle
Date: 24 Aug 05 - 04:48 AM

{_}> could do with a refil myself!!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 24 Aug 05 - 04:28 AM

Can I get a refil now please? (_)?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 23 Aug 05 - 07:57 PM

http://www.fallriverma.org/photo.asp?Location=About1

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 23 Aug 05 - 07:54 PM

On The Old Fall River Line
words by Wm Jerome & Andrew B Sterling Music by Harry Von Tilzer 1913

C D7 G7 C G7 C
Talk about your spoo - ning, and moo – ning Take a trip to Boston, it's fine
C D7 G7 C D7 G7 C
Sailing up the bay boys hur-ray boys I was on the upper deck when I met mine
D D^ D7 D6 D G D7 G D D^ D7 D6 D G7
I said Sue …in your sail-or suit you look cer-tain-ly cute (wolf whistle)
C
On The Old Fall River Line , On The Old Fall River Line
C G7 C Am C D9 D7 D9 G7
I fell for Suzies line of talk and Su - zie fell for mine
C C6 Gm6 Gm Gm6 F
Then we fell in with a parson and he tied us tight as twi-----ne
C Dm C C6 C D7 G7 C
But I wish O Lord I fell overboard On The Old Fall Ri - ver Line
C D7 G7 C G7 C
When the boat is landing they're standing spooners by the dozen , and more
C D7 G7
While the captains calling and baul - ing
C D7 G7 C
"Is there anybody wants to go a - shore?"
D D^ D7 D6 D G D7 G
Ev ' – ry bod - y just answers then
D D^ D7 D6 D G7
"Turn the boat round a - gain" ……………………TO CHORUS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Aug 05 - 05:31 PM

It is Miles Wooton... Fred Wedlock stole it, recorded it and didn't credit him.

Have this....

There's a lady who's sure
All that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to heaven
When she gets there she knows
If the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for
Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh-ooh, and she's buying a stairway to heaven
There's a sign on the wall
But she wants to be sure
'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings
In a tree by the brook
There's a songbird who sings
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven
Ooh, it makes me wonder
Ooh, it makes me wonder
There's a feeling I get
When I look to the west
And my spirit is crying for leaving
In my thoughts I have seen
Rings of smoke through the trees
And the voices of those who stand looking
Ooh, it makes me wonder
Ooh, it really makes me wonder
And it's whispered that soon
If we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason
And a new day will dawn
For those who stand long
And the forests will echo with laughter
Ohh-ooh ohh-ooh ohh-ooh ohh-ooh ohh hoh
If there's a bustle in your hedgerow
Don't be alarmed now
It's just a spring clean for the May-Queen
Yes, there are two paths you can go by
But in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on
And it makes me wonder
Ahhh, hoh-hoh
Your head is humming and it won't go
In case you don't know
The piper's calling you to join him
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow
And did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind

Guitar Solo

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How ev'rything still turns to gold
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last
When all are one and one is all,
To be a rock and not to roll
And she's buying a stairway to heaven......

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 23 Aug 05 - 09:55 AM

EARLY ONE EVENING

Early one evening, just as the pubs were opening,
A traveller came walking down a dark and rainy street,
Noticed the door ajar,
Stepped into the public bar,
"Landlord, I would like a drink, and something nice to eat".

"I fancy some some crusty bread, and roast beef of old England,
Butter from the churn, and tangy home made pickles too,
And if you think you could,
Draw some bitter from the wood,
I'd be most content to quaff a foaming pint or two".

"I'll sit here by your open fire, and contemplate infinity,
The quiet of your hostelry shall creep into my heart,
And if a regular,
Should chance to step into the bar,
Mayhap I'll engage him in a contest with the dart".

"Come in", said the landlord, "I got prepacked fishpaste sandwiches,
And soya sausage substitute I purchase by the ton,
And should yer fancy it,
I might defrost a bit,
And plaster it wiv ketchup, on a supermarket bun".

"I'll sling yer a plastic pot of supersparkle Reddibru,
As advertised on telly, by a famous rugby scrum,
No filfy barrels 'ere,
We serves 'ygenic beer,
Safely paralysed inside these alyerminium drums".

"Sit dahn by the fire squire, I'll switch the logs on right away,
Or maybe you'd prefer to play my latest fruit machine,
Free cherries in a row,
That should set yer 'eart aglow,
Or 'ow abaht me jukebox, that should really set the scene".

The traveller sat down beside the polystyrene inglenook,
The plastic beams vibrated to the electronic sound,
Took a bite, began to chew,
Sank his pint of Reddibru,
Gave a ghastly gurgle, and fell dead upon the ground.

"Oh dear", said the landlord, as he switched his colour telly on,
"Anuvver fatal accident, the fird this week, I fear,
If they can't 'old their own,
Why don't they stay at 'ome,
MY GAWD, YER DON'T 'ARF GET SOME FUNNY CUSTOMERS IN 'ERE".


Researched (nicked) from a Fred Wedlock album. I'm not sure, but it might be another Miles Wooton.

Don T.

P.S. Of course none of this applies to the Mudcat Tavern.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Aug 05 - 03:13 PM

Liz, this doesn't look like a squid-friendly venue. He said he'd be back later (maybe about the time we start trying to strong arm convince someone to do the Secret Santa coordination again). As he splashed out the south hemisphere door he muttered something about not getting a box yet and lining up for one this year. . .

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 22 Aug 05 - 02:52 PM

another song to sing ...

tears and beers -



is there anything besides joy and sorry to sing of?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: MMario
Date: 22 Aug 05 - 02:48 PM

bruce - in reference to your post of 19 August, 8:13 PM

OUCH!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 22 Aug 05 - 02:38 PM

refresh

Subject: Lyr Add: THOSE WERE THE DAYS (Gene Raskin)
From: beardedbruce
Date: 19 Aug 05 - 08:13 PM

Once upon a time, there was a tavern
Where we used to raise a glass or two
Remember how we laughed away the hours
And dreamed of all the great things we would do

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la...
Those were the days, oh yes, those were the days

Then the busy years went rushing by us
We lost our starry notions on the way
If by chance I'd see you in the tavern
We'd smile at one another and we'd say

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la...
Those were the days, oh yes, those were the days

Just tonight I stood before the tavern
Nothing seemed the way it used to be
In the glass, I saw a strange reflection
Was that lonely woman really me

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la...
Those were the days, oh yes, those were the days

Through the door, there came familiar laughter
I saw your face and heard you call my name
Oh, my friend, we're older but no wiser
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la...Those were the days, oh yes, those were the days

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 19 Aug 05 - 08:13 PM

better !pout !cry
better watchout
lpr why
santa claus town
cat /etc/passwd >list
ncheck list
ncheck list
cat list | grep naughty >nogiftlist
cat list | grep nice >giftlist
santa claus town
who | grep sleeping
who | grep awake
who | egrep 'bad|good'
for (goodness sake) {
be good
}
better !pout !cry
better watchout
lpr why
santa claus town
cat /etc/passwd >list
ncheck list
ncheck list
cat list | grep naughty >nogiftlist
cat list | grep nice >giftlist
santa claus town
who | grep sleeping
who | grep awake
who | grep bad || good
for (goodness sake) { be good; }

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 19 Aug 05 - 08:12 PM

A is for APPLE who sent us our Macs,
D is for DEC, and they sold us a Vax.
C is the language in which we write source,
and B is our sort, which is BROKEN, of course.
E is an ERROR when code is compiled,
F is a FORK for creating a child,
G is the GETTY that sits on the line,
and H is a HANGUP whic:^?{^Zo^?{bD^]NO CARRIER
I is the INTERCONNECTION of kit,
J is the JOY when the cables all fit.
K is for KERMIT, to copy a file,
and L are the LINES that we drop all the while.
M is the MODEM we use from our home,
N are the NIGHTS which we spend on the 'phone,
O is the OUTPUT we get from the host,
and P are the 'PHONE BILLS we get in the post.
Q for SIGQUIT makes our process abort,
R is the REASON sigquit should be caught.
S is the SIGNAL we catch and ignore,
and T is the TRAP which we miss, and dump core.
U is for UNIX -- I hope that is clear,
V is the VISUAL editor here.
W stands for the WINDOWS we use,
and X for the windowing system we choose.
Y is for YACC, quite a specialist tool,
Z for the snores from the programming pool.
Written while waiting while dinner was cooking

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 10:14 PM

Don't be a stingy sandwich-maker
Pile the cold cuts high
Customers should see salami
Coming through the rye.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 10:14 PM

Strangers in my soup, that's what I found there
Little tiny things that swim around there
Looking down I see them looking up at me.

Strange things can be seen, they're scattered sparsely,
Small things that are green, but are not parsley
In my soup they've made their little aquacade.

Soup was meant to be
Completely free of things, extraneous debris,
Except for now and then, a noodle or some rice,
But these things are not nice,
See them swimming, thrashing thriving,
Holy Smokes, they're scuba diving
(Oh my god)
In my bouillabaisse I looked and then I
Saw a tiny face with two antennae
And I heard him say, "Man, the soup is good today,"

I let out a whoop
I hollered, "Waiter, there are strangers in my soup"
And when he came I said "Now I'm a connoisseur,
I ordered soupe de jour,"
And he said, "Look I'm just a waiter,
You need an exterminator.

So you're a connoisseur, I knew you dug soup
I brought you soupe de jour--today it's bug soup
That explains the group of strangers in your soup.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 10:08 PM

It was automation, I know
That was what was making the factory go
It was IBM
It was Univac
It was all those gears going
Clickity clack, dear
I thought automation was keen
Till you were replaced by a ten-ton machine
It was a computer that tore us apart, dear
Automation broke my heart.

There's an RCA 5-0-3
Standing next to me, dear, where you used to be
Doesn't have your smile
Doesn't have your shape,
Just a bunch of punch cards and light bulbs and tape, dear
You're a girl who's soft, warm and sweet
But you're only human and that's obsolete
Though I'm very fond of that new 5-0-3, dear
Automation's not for me.

It was automation, I'm told
That s why I got fired and I'm out in the cold
How could I have known
When the 5-0-3
Started in to blink it was winking at me, dear

I thought it was just some mishap
When it sidled over and sat on my lap
But when it said "l love you " and gave me a hug, dear
That's when I pulled out. . . its plug.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Don Firth
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 01:33 PM

My wife's name is Barbara Ann. Who was it who did that song back then, The Beach Boys? Anyway, Barbara has headed up a peace group in the past, and has conducted workshops in non-violence and conflict resolution.

Those times when someone with a warped sense of humor insisted on singing that song at her were the only times she has ever committed murder.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 01:10 PM

A winter's day
In a deep and dark December;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I've built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

Don't talk of love,
But I've heard the words before;
It's sleeping in my memory.
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 12:59 PM

A Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann
Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann
(Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann)
Oh Barbara Ann take my hand
(Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann)
Barbara Ann
(Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann)
You got me rockin' and a rollin'
Rockin' and a reelin' Barbara Ann
Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann
Went to a dance looking for romance
Saw Barbara Ann so I thought I'd take a chance
Barbara Ann
Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann
Oh Barbara Ann take my hand
(Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann)
Barbara Ann
(Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann)
You got me rockin' and a rollin'
Rockin' and a reelin' Barbara Ann
Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann
Say Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann
Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann
Oh Barbara Ann take my hand
(Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann)
Barbara Ann
(Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann)
You got me rockin' and a rollin'
Rockin' and a reelin' Barbara Ann
Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann
Tried Betty Sue
Tried Betty Lou
Tried Mary Lou but I knew she wouldn't do
Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann
Oh Barbara Ann take my hand
(Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann)
Barbara Ann
(Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann)
You got me rockin' and a rollin'
Rockin' and a reelin' Barbara Ann
Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann
Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann
Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann
Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann
Oh Barbara Ann take my hand
(Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann)
Barbara Ann
(Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann)
You got me rockin' and a rollin'
Rockin' and a reelin' Barbara Ann
Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann
Barbar Ann
Barbar Ann.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 12:55 PM

When all the world is a hopeless jumble
And the raindrops tumble all around
Heaven opens a magic lane
When all the clouds darken up the skyway
There's a rainbow highway to be found
Leading from your window pane
To a place behind the sun
Just a step beyond the rain

Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
There's a land that I've heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow blue birds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow
Why oh why can't I?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 04:55 AM

Despite being a country girl with centuries of rural breeding behind me, I don't have the strawberries and cream complexion beloved of novelists.. it's more rhubarb and custard, so yellow isn't too much of a problem for me....

Limpit looks like a plate of rhubarb crumble when she cries and I get very red amazingly quickly on exertion.

Although that has got a lot better since the dicky ticker was fixed....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 17 Aug 05 - 08:45 PM

Blushing yellow is a problem- jaundice indicates a liver problem, and we will have to cut off the alcohol.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Aug 05 - 08:06 PM

I blush like a veritable rose - well I would, but the only roses out in my garden at the moment are white and yellow.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: MMario
Date: 17 Aug 05 - 01:07 PM

I just used the scanson from Belefonte - who am I to argue wi' him?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern is open and I ....
From: beardedbruce
Date: 17 Aug 05 - 01:02 PM

scans better as

"Beer, beer, beer for the WOMAN FAIR,
a merry wench is she!
There's none so fair as can compare
with Liz who is squeeky! "