BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You

Subject: BS: So long, It's been good to know you
From: sixtieschick
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 02:24 AM

I think I need a short vacation, though it don't look like rain. During eight months of somewhat shy participation, I have been stalked by one member to the extent that I am uncomfortable about my identity and whereabouts ever coming to light. Another participant announced that it is obvious that I am a nothing but a groupie with endless casual sexual conquests to my discredit. And most recently I was invited to piss on my own face.

Perhaps my skin is too thin, but this is just not fun any more. I am going to take a break for awhile, and will return either as a lurker, a very occasional presence, or when I score some really good green kryptonite for emotional protection. Thanks to the majority of delightful people from whose posts I have derived pleasure and learned a lot. You are a great community, and it is undoubtedly my own failure that I wasn't able to connect more fully and enjoyably.

M.

Subject: RE: BS: SO LONG, IT'S BEEN GOOD TO KNOW YOU
From: nutty
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 02:40 AM

Sorry you are leaving.

These things do occassionally happen at Mudcat but if the powers that be are informed they can usually be stopped.

A personal message to Joe Offer is usually enough to have any kind of harrassment dealt with.

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: freda underhill
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 04:35 AM

Sixtieschick, you are a very talented artist, and a really lovely person. I'm sorry that you have been targeted by some lame brains - I like many others have enjoyed your comments, your insights and humour.

Enjoy your rest -

best wishes

freda

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: Kaleea
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 07:18 AM

Geez, I don't ever understand why critters have to behave in such a manner. They evidently are such low crawling creatures that they put down good people in a poor attempt to make themselves feel important.

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 07:28 AM

Rejoin as a bloke. That should throw the slime off your trail, and you may even get an insight into the mysoginy that many feel exists here.

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: LilyFestre
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 07:40 AM

I agree with Freda! I have always enjoyed your posts and will miss them. I don't blame you for leaving though, if you are feeling uncomfortable, follow your gut.

Take Care, Be Well and print out any nastiness that has been sent to you and has you feeling uneasy. I shall explain via PM.

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 07:41 AM

On reflection, I think that should be misogyny.

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: jacqui.c
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 08:27 AM

Sorry you've had a problem sc. It is so annoying that good people can get driven away by the bottom feeders who inhabit every pond.

I hope that you can find it in you to come back at some time - you will be missed.

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 09:20 AM

Hey, I hate to see good people feel forced to leave because of the jerks. You shoulda told Joe Offer about the harassment, but even so, come back. You're one of the good ones.

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: harpgirl
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 09:28 AM

I know the feeling well, sixtieschick. I hope I didn't contribute to your discomfort. Say hi to your kind brother and I hope you come back when you toughen up. I did, but now I just fight back in spades when someone gives me a hard time! Actually it has increased my confidence in my ability to defend myself. Since I know I'm a really nice person who will go to the ends of the earth for my friends, I figure when these blokes finally meet me, they will lay off.
take care, l,h

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: Azizi
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 09:58 AM

OH Noooo!!!

Sixtieschick, I emphatically ditto every comment that has been made above, regarding you as a person, your art, and your posts. I hope that you will inform Joe Offer of the stalking PMs and/or posts.

Perhaps you might have to drop the screen name you are using now and adopt another one. But please don't leave and let some jerk win.

This makes me so angry!!!

If you decide to leave, I wish you peace and positive vibrations,


Azizi

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 10:02 AM

Sheeshe, SC, this is a bummer. I think the hard thing to learn is not to take these wankers and their gyrations personally. Garbagemouths have to spew, just like fish gotta swim. It ain't you, kid. I mean, consider the source, right?


A

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: JennyO
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 10:06 AM

Well that's a damn shame. I like your presence here. Good people are too hard to find, so don't let the nasties win. Have a rest and come back later. I'll PM you some time in the next 24 hours.

Jenny

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 10:13 AM

enjoy your rest & look after yourself.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: Wesley S
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 10:50 AM

Don't let them win - stick around. You would be missed.

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: mack/misophist
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 10:53 AM

Ditto. Illegitimi non carborundum.

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: sixtieschick
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 12:29 PM

Thanks for the kind words and the PMs. I will reply to PMs in the next week or two when I am hopefully restrung and back in tune. Just a note to assure you that Joe did what he could, but he can't be a full time dragon-slayer. Also, although I naively chose a handle that turned out to be provocative to some imaginations (I was researching a book on sixties music at the time I joined), I am not convinced that this is a gender issue. I have been horrified by the personal abuse slung at men on the 'cat as well as women. And lack of inner toughness is not reserved for women alone. Some of us just don't have it. That's why we can make art--write songs, compose and play music, paint, whatever. We just don't survive too well in brutal environments of any kind.

M.

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: GUEST,number 6
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 12:35 PM

I agree sometimes it's good just get away from the Mudcat (though hard to do) ... but certainly not under the circustances that you are. As Amos said, don't take it seriously, I know easier to say than do.

I always enjoy your posts.

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: John Hardly
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 12:38 PM

gotta admit it, if I were a woman, I'd probably leave like sc. This can be one scary place (as cyber-places go).

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: PoppaGator
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 12:45 PM

Baby Please Don't Go!

If you do, the "terrorists" will have won . . . and we can't allow that to happen!

I know, it's easy for me to say, being kinda thick-skinned and relatively uncreative. I have let an asshole ot two get under my skin temporarily, myself ~ only within the context of threads/discussions, thankfully ~ but have always been able to come to my senses and start ignoring them before things get out of hand.

Ducking out for a brief cooling-off-period is probably a good idea, but I sure hope you come back, preferably without a name change, so that all of your friends (which means most of us) will know that it's still you.

twentyfirstcenturyguy

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 12:52 PM

The first 3 years on Mudcat were quite a learning experience for me. It tested every sore spot in my emotional anatomy. The Internet is like that...absolutely ruthless.

It was a good experience, because it taught me more about not letting people push my buttons than anything else I've been exposed to. I am much more empowered now in that respect. I realize that whether I get upset or not is up to me, not the other person. I have the power over my emotional reactions. They don't. I don't owe them anything. They don't owe me anything. That's freedom.

However, I can well understand your wanting a break, Sixties Chick, and I wish you good luck.

You can always log in here as some fictional character (a Guest), and in that way be far safer from personal harassment...although you will also be generally taken a bit less seriously by much of the membership.

There's a price to pay for everything, isn't there?

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 12:54 PM

The thing is that none of the arseholes who operate their sicko fantasies on line have got the guts to do it face to face. Take your rest but don't desert forever, if you ever find out for definite who's been giving you grief let me know, I'm sure I can find a way to repay whoever it is/was!
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: Cluin
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 01:21 PM

60schik, I echo the comments above regretting any discomfort you have experienced here, especially the scary stalking.

But if you were referring to Clinton Hammond's invitation here, you should understand that that was just his idea of a joke. Hey he's got under almost everybody's fingernail at one time or another. It's just his way, but he's really an alright guy for all that; like a Rottweiler puppy (big and goofy and often pees on the floor). Like Little Hawk says, you need a bit of a thicker skin on Internet forums; most people come across as meaner than they really are.

Take a break and return with a different handle if you like. But do return, please.

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 01:57 PM

Clinton is an okay guy, but he's extremely abrasive at times (some would say: offensive). That's his idea of humour and normal give and take. You have to realize where it's coming from. After you get to know him, you take it with a grain of salt.

In any case, it's an anatomically ridiculous suggestion to make to a female...

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: Cluin
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 03:08 PM

Goodbye stranger, it's been nice
Hope you find your paradise
Tried to see your point of view
Hope your dreams will all come true
Goodbye Mary, Goodbye Jane,
Will we ever meet again?
Feel no sorrow, feel no shame
Come tomorrow, feel no pain

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: CarolC
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 03:21 PM

I'm really sorry to learn that you've had this sort of experience and you feel you need to go. I've enjoyed your presence here very much, and I wish you all the best in life.

Take care,

Carol

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: Amos
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 03:29 PM

The first 3 years on Mudcat were quite a learning experience for me. It tested every sore spot in my emotional anatomy. The Internet is like that...absolutely ruthless. It was a good experience, because it taught me more about not letting people push my buttons than anything else I've been exposed to

I have to second LH's remarks about lessons learned here in survival. But I want to add, LH, that is has been an honor to help you find your sore spots!! :D

A

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: nutty
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 04:48 PM

I also found that it took time to understand the differences in insults and humour depending on which part of the world you live in.

I have often been deeply offended at things that others didn't turn a hair at but I learned to live with it and I can't imagine life without Mudcat.

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 05:28 PM

Same here, nutty. SC, taking a break can really help, but know you will be missed and we look forward to your return.

ALl the best,

kat

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 05:50 PM

What in the f*ck do I have to do with any of this?!?!?!
Nothing...

"I have been stalked by one member..."
Who'd bother....

And well, if you ARE being 'stalked' and Joe et al haven't BANNED the person doing the 'stalking' they are negligent and need to be held up to the public eye and shown to be incompetent jerks.... If they won't assist in keeping their 'members' 'cybersafe' then they are a passle of assholes... This isn't a little lanugage we're talking about... it's a matter of physical safety... (If it's not, the the term 'stalking' is overblown... If yer just getting PMs and emails you don't want, suck it up... the whole world gets those... delete them unread and leave it at that...)

Oh... that's right... they CAN'T ban anyone... (When they say WON'T, I doubt them to their bones....)

So, you do what you feel you gotta do 60'sChick...   It's just the internet... at the end of the day, it won't really matter one way or the other...   You'll probably get more 'reward' out of Real Life anyway...

Good luck eh

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 06:53 PM

SC - I have looked at the incident refered to above, and IMO it was not a personal attack. I can see why some sensititve types might think so, but it was - to a degree - funny, in the context... English culture would refer to it as 'toilet humour'... and the thread carried on, the way many of us here DO 'carry on'...

It was a 'BS' thread, and you must remember that this is not a normal 'chat forum'. If you venture into a room full of drunk musos who have left their instruments at home, you will often find a fast sense of humour similar to what happens in the 'BS' section. Barmaids rapidly learn to survive similar (in the minds of the drunks) 'clever witty repartee' ...


But if you do need a rest, come back again, and this time enjoy the chat room too.

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 07:34 PM

Woah woah woah!

That "pee in the face" comment is NOT the reason (or even related to the reason) you're leaving , is it?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I was under the impression that Cluin posted it HERE as a JOKE!

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: PoppaGator
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 07:47 PM

As I read the thread to which Cluin provided a link, the villainous Mr. Hammond didn't introduce the subject of urine/facial contact, he just brought the discussion to its inevitable (albeit juvenile) conclusion.

If that's the only problem here, all that's required is a little better sense of perspective.

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 07:50 PM

Some people are more sensitive than others CH...

When I first joined, someone took a dislike to me, but we eventually sorted that out thru PMs and in the Forum... some people also seem to dislike me cause I say that I can play a dozen instruments, and when the voice is ok, can sing about 3 1/2 octaves ...

When people like the old Martin attacked me personally, my song thread about him (after much undeleted vituperation from him) was deleted as a personal attack... go figure...

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 08:00 PM

"Some people are more sensitive than others CH.."

That's none of my concern FT.. I'm not gonna eggshell around, playing to the weakest common denominator...

BUT I KNOW I'm not in the guilty zone on this one... I've never PMed 60's Chick... Nor would I even KNOW where to stat if I had the enegery or inclination TO cyberstalk someone...

"inevitable (albeit juvenile) conclusion"
Ya... like that was the first or LAST 'juvenile' post Mudcat is ever gonna see.... what the phux ever...

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 08:04 PM

Types of Humour

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 08:06 PM

CH -
your response would doubtless be classified as 'insensitive'...
but then what would you care?..

;-)

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 08:12 PM

What's insensitive about wishing someone good luck in real life?

Ya know what... don't bother answering... This has gone far enough off topic already...

Bartender... get something to put in FTs face k....

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 08:21 PM

It's OK - I'm wearing my glasses today...

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: Bobert
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 08:23 PM

Sniff...

Always hard to loose a good 'un and even harder whhen the good 'un has been harrassed and bullied from Mudville...

I hope you will enjoy yer sabatical and hope at the end that you come back better able to cope with the folks here that bug you... It ain't any easy task and some days they just ain't worth fightin' with...

Peace

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 08:29 PM

Oh, sorry, CH...

You meant...

Right! I'll have a Harp Lager thanks bartender!

You're so generous CH!

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: harpgirl
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 08:30 PM

60's girl...you're doing good on this thread. Many more people have been told to not let the door hit them on the way out! That's what people used to do when one of us got their knickers in a twist! Ask around and you'll find out who was the worst at saying such as this.

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: Joe Offer
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 08:31 PM

I talked with sixtieschick long ago and tried to resolve the problem, but I guess it didn't work. I suppose that's one of the problems of an open forum
Anyhow, sixtieschick, I enjoyed getting to know you and hope you won't be a stranger for long.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 08:35 PM

Being sensitive is not the same as being weak.

And being insensitive is definitely not the same as being strong.

I sometimes wish there was a way of sticking on a filter that people could set for themselves that would exclude people they'd decided they'd as soon not read in future.

Have a nice break sixtieschick, but don't make it too long.

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 09:03 PM

Clinton...Chongo Chimp says that he would be not only willing, but more than willing, even eager in fact, to administer 50 sharp whacks with a bare yardstick to your bare backside, if you would be so good as to bend over, drop your pants, and provide him the opportunity. By this means you would be enabled to do proper penance for having insensitively bruised the tender feelings of a great number of people on this forum in the last few years. This will be good for your soul, Clinton. ;-) You will feel much better afterward. That nagging sense of guilt will stop keeping you awake at night.

Can you PM me your address? Chongo says he has some time on the weekend.

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: gnu
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 09:10 PM

Yo. You and I have had a few "words", well, very minor and just the once that I recall, and I can't even remember what it was about. Respectfully resolved, only once.... and insignificant.

I feel sad that you feel this is necessary, but, I look forward your return] no matter the persona you takeon.

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: John Hardly
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 09:17 PM

"I sometimes wish there was a way of sticking on a filter that people could set for themselves that would exclude people they'd decided they'd as soon not read in future."

I thought there was. I specifically remember somebody posting that they had their preferences set to exclude someone. Maybe they were kidding?

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: Joe Offer
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 09:25 PM

No such filter here, John.
but I do think Chong Chimp is a pervert...
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 09:30 PM

That's not fair, Joe. True, Chongo has a thing for long-legged human females in short, slit skirts. True, he likes to smoke cigars. True, he likes to drink far too much whisky and other such beverages. True, he has a penchant for stroking bananas, and a thing for oiling his tommy gun into the wee hours...but...he is NO pervert! No, indeed.

He just believes that the punishment should fit the crime.

Subject: RE: BS: So Long, It's Been Good to Know You
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 18 Aug 05 - 09:50 PM

Sorry to hear this happened SC, take a break and come back.