An atheist's Christmas Carol

Subject: BS: An atheist's Xmas Carol
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 12:35 PM

Gingo bells


The hero is inside you
when you follow dreams.
Worship God in everyone
it's easy as it seems

There's folks who won't find Jesus
cuz they didn't look inside
There are Jews who feel more Jewish
than the Jew they are beside.


Chorus:)_________________
Heaven Hell Heaven Hell
are words that we made up
to signify our life on Earth
when honest or corru-upt.

Heaven Hell Heaven Hell
in temple mosque or church
are not the way to peace on Earth
no matter how you search.
________________________


Until you know that Budda's you
then you have no clue
that metaphors describe unknowns
shared by me and you.


Unless you're a creator
Creations not for you
If you are not merciful
You messed up Allah too

Chorus:)_____________

If you're not a Santa
your presents will be few.
If this song offends you
let me tell ya what to do.

Look inside and ask yourself
"is it words that I believe ?"
Have I confused the metaphor
and worship Christmas Eve?

Chorus:)_________________

Some may think this sacriledge
because they missed the point.
They listened to a guy in charge
that God did not appoint.

The hero is inside you
when you follow dreams.
Worship God in everyone
it's as easy as it seems.

Chorus:)

DH 2005

Subject: RE: BS: An atheist's Xmas Carol
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 12:44 PM

We wish you a-theist Chrismas
We wish you a-theist Chrismas
We wish you a-theist Chrismas
and a happy new year

Oh bring us some friggin pussy
Oh bring us some friggin pussy
Oh bring us some friggin pussy
and bring her right now

We won't come until we get some...

Subject: RE: BS: An atheist's Xmas Carol
From: gnu
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 01:40 PM

Been into the Xmas cheer, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: An atheist's Xmas Carol
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 01:58 PM

I don't drink or smoke the herb. I suppose I would if I could get real Danish Giraffe Ale from Europe or was given some nice sense, but those are the breaks at 54 when your wild and crazy friend list shrinks down to zero after many moves.

Subject: RE: BS: An atheist's Xmas Carol
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 02:09 PM

Light Christmas

I'm steaming on a hot Christmas
just like the 4th of warm July
Foreheads glissen and inlaws stiffen
as global warming starts to fry

I'm dreaming of a slight Christmas
with every car that I side swipe
may your parking be plenty and wide
and may all your Christmas' be light.

Subject: RE: BS: An atheist's Xmas Carol
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 02:14 PM

Ah crap I've wasted too much time here today. I gotta go chop ice.

Subject: RE: BS: An atheist's Xmas Carol
From: Charley Noble
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 08:18 PM

Chopping ice sounds like a useful and theraputic way to spend the afternoon. Life's like that here in Maine as well.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: An atheist's Xmas Carol
From: Mrrzy
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 08:55 PM

The first thing at Christmas,
That's such a pain to me:
Is finding a Christmas tree.

The second thing at Christmas,
That's such a pain to me:
Rigging up the lights.
And finding a Christmas tree.

The third thing at Christmas
That's such a pain to me:
Hangovers.
Rigging up the lights.
And finding a Christmas tree.

The fourth thing at Christmas,
That's such a pain to me:
Sending Christmas cards.
Hangovers.
Rigging up the lights.
And finding a Christmas tree.

The fifth thing at Christmas
That's such a pain to me:
Five month of bills!
Sending Christmas cards.
Hangovers.
Rigging up the lights.
And finding a Christmas tree.

The sixth thing at Christmas
That's such a pain to me:
Facing my in-laws.
Five months of bills.
Oh, I hate those Christmas cards.
Hangovers.
Rigging up these lights.
And finding a Christmas tree.

The seventh thing a Christmas,
that's such a pain to me:
The Salvation Army.
Facing my in-laws.
Five months of bills!
Sending Christmas cards.
Ohhh geeez.
I'm tryin to rig up these lights!
And finding a Christmas tree.

The eighth thing at Christmas,
that's such a pain to me:
I want a transformer for Christmas.
Charities, and what do you mean YOUR in-laws?!
Five months of bills.
Ughh, makin' up these cards.
oh, Edith get me a beer huh?
What we have no extension cords?!
And finding a Christmas tree.

The ninth thing at Christmas
that's such a pain to me:
Finding parking spaces,
Daddy, I want some candy!
Donations!
Facing my in-laws.
Five months of bills.
Writing out those Christmas cards.
Hangovers.
Now why the hell are they blinking?!
And finding a Christmas tree.

The tenth thing at Christmas
That's such a pain to me:
Batteries not included.
No parking spaces.
Buy me something!
Get a job you bum!
Facing my in-laws.
Five months of bills.
Yo-ho sending Christmas cards.
Oh-geez look at this.
One light goes out, they all go out!
And finding a Christmas tree.

The eleventh thing at Christmas
That's such a pain to me:
Stale T.V. specials.
Batteries not included.
No parking spaces
Mom, I gotta go bathroom!
Charities!
She's a witch, I hate her.
Five months of bills.
Oh, I don't even know half these people!
Oh, who has the toilet paper, huh?
Turn on a flashlight, I blew a fuse!
And finding a Christmas tree.

The twelfth thing at Christmas
that's such a pain to me:
Singing Christmas carols.
Stale T.V. specials.
Batteries not included.
No parking!
*Crying*
Charities.
Gotta make 'em dinner.
Five months of bills.
I'm not sending 'em this year, that's it!
Shut up, you!
Fine, you're so smart! You rig up the lights!
And finding a Christmas tree.

Subject: RE: BS: An atheist's Xmas Carol
From: GUEST,Bert
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 09:53 PM

Donuel, You've got scads of wild and crazy friends here.

Subject: RE: BS: An atheist's Xmas Carol
From: Once Famous
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 10:05 PM

donuel, many of your type are known to cry, "Oh God" as they lay in pain.

Subject: RE: BS: An atheist's Xmas Carol
From: Jeri
Date: 16 Dec 05 - 10:42 PM

Well, it's a bit odd for an 'atheists Xmas Carol' to tell people how they should worship God.

One of these years, I'm going to write one, and it's going to be about family, friends, and memories of Christmases past, ,not being able to get to sleep the night before but waking far too early on Christmas morning, the colors red and white, real trees and those frail glass ornaments, tons of old-fashioned silver tinsel, the little village with houses lit from within, cotton snow and skaters on a mirror pond which my mom always set up, and how she hid little presents in the branches of the tree and sometimes I wouldn't find them for hours, the cool little things that hid way down in the stocking, going to all my aunts' & uncles' houses to exchange gifts and check out their trees and decorations, dealing with mountains of wrapping paper, eating the best dinner ever on the best Christmas ever, and through it all was the warmth and light of love.

No matter what my beliefs are or are not, these are my memories, and love, peace on earth, and goodwill towards men aren't dependent on religion.

Subject: RE: BS: An atheist's Xmas Carol
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Dec 05 - 09:03 AM

Jeri, if you take care with your song it could be timeless.

I think of Jean Sheperd and for all the 12,000 stories he told and wrote, the movie Christmas Story with Ralphy and his bb gun will forever be his most remembered work.

Subject: RE: BS: An atheist's Xmas Carol
From: Mrrzy
Date: 17 Dec 05 - 02:02 PM

I sing this to the tune of The Magi:

Ancient humans came from darkness and they spread across the planet
They saw the sky above them, and they learned to find their way
Out of ignorance and shadow to the hope of human kindness
They were strengthened by the knowledge that they gathered every day
And the wise all speak of peace on earth, of harmony and struggle
Yet another cycle's gone, and a new one will begin
On this darkest day of winter, when we remember Spring will come again
On the darkest day of winter, we cherish light with green and kith and kin...
Well now, each of us must travel, yes we all must make a journey
It seems that time is telling us to use all we can know
To help lift up the fallen we must sow the seeds of goodness
The torch has passed among us now to light the way to go
For our hearts are as a chalice, and our dreams are of the sunlight
They burn away the darkness as we kiss 'neath mistletoe
Unlike eagles, flying higher, unlike rivers down their canyons
When diamond stars shine down on us, we know whereof they glow...
And the wise still speak of peace on earth, of harmony and struggle
Yet another cycle's gone, and a new one will begin
On the darkest day of winter, when we recall that Spring will come again
On the darkest day of winter, we cherish light with green and kith and kin...

Subject: RE: BS: An atheist's Xmas Carol
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Dec 05 - 06:47 PM

Very nice, very clear.

the only word I didn't like was unlike.

Subject: RE: BS: An atheist's Xmas Carol
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 17 Dec 05 - 10:08 PM

MG-
Personally, I tend to say "Oh Shit!" when I'm in pain. Is this some kind of worship I'm unaware of?

Subject: RE: BS: An atheist's Xmas Carol
From: GUEST,Murray on Saltspring
Date: 18 Dec 05 - 01:38 AM

Martin: for God's sake, learn that LAY is the past tense of "lie"; unless you mean "lay an egg" or something.

Subject: RE: BS: An atheist's Xmas Carol
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 18 Dec 05 - 02:19 AM

Mrrzy - I love the 12 days

Charley - people here chop ice, too! - into cool drinks

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: An atheist's Xmas Carol
From: Mr Red
Date: 18 Dec 05 - 09:43 AM

tut tut - non PC enough - that song needs another verse with a tag line along the lines of - Sikh and ye shall find. AND Khan you find a rhyme for Zoroastrians ? .........

Subject: RE: BS: An atheist's Xmas Carol
From: GUEST,MrBreeze68
Date: 19 Dec 05 - 01:56 PM

I was just wondering if you could tell me the title of this song, or who did it? I have been looking all over the place, and this is the only link I could find for the "12 things at Christmas that are such a pain to me". I would really appreciate any help!
[e-mail]

Subject: RE: BS: An atheist's Xmas Carol
From: MMario
Date: 19 Dec 05 - 02:05 PM

That would be 'The Twelve Pains of Christmas'

Subject: RE: BS: An atheist's Xmas Carol
From: GUEST,MrBreeze68
Date: 19 Dec 05 - 03:55 PM

Man...thank you!! I have been searching for that darn thing all day!!

Subject: RE: BS: An atheist's Xmas Carol
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Dec 05 - 04:45 PM

by Alan Shepard

Subject: RE: BS: An atheist's Xmas Carol
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Dec 05 - 04:51 PM

opps I meant Alan Sherman.

Subject: RE: BS: An atheist's Xmas Carol
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Dec 05 - 05:05 PM

A white house carol

http://www.rense.com/1.imagesH/quartet.jpg