Lyr Req/Add: Ten Thousand Instant Christians

Subject: Lyr Req: Ten thousand instant Christians
From: Haruo
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 04:58 AM

Just within the last day or two I ran across a reference here to a song by Max Boyce, "Ten Thousand Instant Christians", about hymn-singing Welsh sports fans, but now I can't find it. I want to know the lyrics (and the tune if it's easy to depict), and searches of both Google and Mudcat don't turn it up. Anybody in a position to help?

Haruo

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ten thousand instant Christians
From: A Wandering Minstrel
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 08:03 AM

It's on Max's "Live at Treorchy" album but the lyrics aren't published.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ten thousand instant Christians
From: Flash Company
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 10:28 AM

Damn it, I can't remember much of it, but I think this is the one you mean:-

If he saw the Crown & Anchor where we met before the game,
Where Cwm Rhondda and Delilah first sounded both the same,
The Public Bar was crowded, the songs came on a tray,
........................... I wonder what he'd say

I used to know it all, old age is a curse!

FC

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ten thousand instant Christians
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 05 Sep 06 - 10:42 AM

Sounds like that old lawyer joke... not enough sand!

Subject: LYR ADD Ten Thousand Instant Christians (M Boyce)
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Sep 12 - 08:17 PM

TEN THOUSAND INSTANT CHRISTIANS
Feb 19, '09 1:43 AM
for everyone
Max Boyce is a great Welsh Comedian and Singer.

I haven't been able to find a 'youtube' for this song of his, which comments on the Disappearing Christians who once used to go to chapel to sing, but now are more likely to be found at a Rugby Match on the Sabbath.

Well at least we have the words:

When He sees the Hope and Anchor
Where we sang before the game
Where 'Cwm Rhondda' and 'Delilah'
First sounded both the same
The bar was filled with singing
Hymns came on a tray
Saturday was Sunday
I wonder what He'll say

What will He say?
What will He say?
I wonder, I wonder what He'll say?

When He sees the North Enclosure
With it's belly full of ale
And sees that male voice flagon
Sing to the twisted barrier rail
'Cwm Rhondda' and 'Penmachno'
Hymns of yesterday
Only half remembered
I wonder what He'll say

What will He say?
What will He say?
I wonder, I wonder what He'll say?

When He sees that touch-line tenor
With his copy made of sand
Ten Thousand Instant Christians
And the Glynneath Silver Band
'C'mon man, ref, for Ch***'s sake
That ball was still in play'
Ten Thousand Instant Christians
I wonder what He'll say

What will He say?
What will He say?
I wonder, I wonder what He'll say?

When He sees that empty chapel
With it's locked and shuttered door
And sees that dusty Bible
Cobweb covered floor
The numbers slowly dwindling
Much fewer now each day
Calfaria now a bingo hall
I wonder what He'll say

What will He say?
What will He say?
I wonder, I wonder what He'll say?

I wonder.


The above is from

http://calum33.multiply.com/journal/item/36?&show_interstitial=1&u=%2Fjournal%2Fitem

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ten Thousand Instant Christians (M Boyce)
From: Snuffy
Date: 18 Sep 12 - 09:04 AM

I'll have to dig my vinyl copy out, but there are a couple of places where my memory (probaly faulty) provides different words:

We sang 'Cwm Rhondda' and 'Delilah'
Duw, they sounded both the same

With his coffee made of sand

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ten Thousand Instant Christians (M Boyce)
From: Newport Boy
Date: 18 Sep 12 - 09:41 AM

The fault in your memory, Snuffy, is just a crossed wire. The 'Cwm Rhondda/Delilah' couplet you quote is from 'The January Trip'. It's followed by:

We sympathised with an Englishman whose team was doomed to fail.

Pgil

Subject: Lyr Add: THE JANUARY TRIP (Max Boyce)
From: maeve
Date: 18 Sep 12 - 03:23 PM

For comparison... may or may not be accurate:

THE JANUARY TRIP
(Max Boyce)

We paid our weekly shilling for that January trip
A long weekend in London, aye, without a bit of kip
There's a seat reserved for beer by the boys from Abercarn
There's beer, pontoon, crisps and fags and a croakin 'Calon Lan'

And we were singing hymns and arias 'Land of my Fathers', 'Ar hyd y nos'

Into Paddington we did roll with an empty crate of ale
Will had lost at cards and now his Western Mail's for sale
But Will is very happy though his money all has gone
He swapped five photos of his wife for one of Barry John

And we were singing hymns and arias 'Land of my Fathers', 'Ar hyd y nos'

We told the guard that we're from Wales, and asked 'Is Twickers far?'
He said "Man you can catch a 48 man, but it isn't very far"
On the bus were boys from Blaina who'd been to see the Queen
So we had a quick Gymanfa, aye, it was the greatest London's seen.

'cause we were singing hymns and arias 'Land of my Fathers', 'Ar hyd y nos'

We got to Twickers early and were jostled in the crowd
Planted leeks and dragons, looked for toilets all around
So many there we couldn't budge -twisted legs and pale
I'm ashamed we used a bottle that once held bitter ale

And we were singing hymns and arias 'Land of my Fathers', 'Ar hyd y nos'

Wales defeated England in a fast and open game
We sang 'Cwm Rhondda' and 'Delilah' damn, they sounded both the same
We sympathised with an Englishman whose team was doomed to fail
So we gave him that old bottle, that once held bitter ale!

He started singing hymns and arias 'Land of my Fathers', 'Ar hyd y nos'

So it's down to Soho for the night to the girls with the shiny beads
To the funny men with lipstick on with evil minds and deeds
One said to Will from a doorway dark damn, she didn't have much on
But Will knew what she wanted aye...his photo of Barry John!

'Cos she was singing hymns and arias 'Land of my Fathers', 'Ar hyd y nos'


Found here

Subject: Lyr Add: Ten Thousand Instant Christians (M Boyce)
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 18 Sep 12 - 05:18 PM

TEN THOUSAND INSTANT CHRISTIANS
(Max Boyce)

When He sees the 'Hope & Anchor' where we sang before the game,
Where 'Cwm Rhondda' and 'Delilah' first sounded both the same.
The bar was filled with singing, and the songs came on a tray.
Saturday was Sunday, I wonder what He'll say?

Chorus:
What will He say?
What will He say?
I wonder, I wonder what He'll say.

When He sees the North Enclosure with it's belly full of ale,
And sees that male-voice flagon, sing to the twisted barrier-rail.
'Cwm Rhondda' and 'Penmachno' -hymns of yesterday-
Only half-remembered, I wonder what He'll say.

When He sees those touch-line tenors, with their copies made of sand:
Ten thousand instant Christians, and the Glynneath Silver Band.
'Come on mun, Ref., for Christ's sake, that ball was still in play,'
Ten thousand instant Christians, I wonder what He'll say.

When He sees that empty chapel with it's locked and shuttered doors,
And sees that dusty Bible, cobwebbed covered floors
The numbers slowly dwindling, much fewer now each day:
Calfaria now a bingo hall, I wonder what He'll say.


Copied from: Max Boyce: his Songs & Poems
Granada Publishing Limited
Panther books 1976

NP

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ten Thousand Instant Christians (M Boyce)
From: maeve
Date: 18 Sep 12 - 06:20 PM

Thank you, Nigel!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ten Thousand Instant Christians (M Boyce)
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 18 Sep 12 - 06:24 PM

No problem,

Or dim probs as we say in Kaaaardiff!

Subject: RE: req/ADD: Ten Thousand Instant Christians (M Boyce)
From: Arkie
Date: 18 Sep 12 - 08:05 PM

Royal Canal on youtube.

Liam Clancy

Subject: RE: req/ADD: Ten Thousand Instant Christians (M Boyce)
From: Haruo
Date: 22 Sep 12 - 02:22 PM

Thank you all and especially Nigel!

Subject: LYR ADD: Hymns & Arias (M Boyce)
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 07 Jan 13 - 12:52 PM

A couple of small changes (apart from line breaks) to that posted by Maeve above:

THE JANUARY TRIP
(Max Boyce)

And we were singing hymns and arias,
'Land of my Fathers', 'Ar hyd y nos'

We paid our weekly shilling for that January trip:
A long weekend in London, aye, without a bit of kip.
There's a seat reserved for beer by the boys from Abercarn:
There's beer, pontoon, crisps and fags and a croakin' 'Calon Lan'.

Into Paddington we did roll with an empty crate of ale.
Will has lost at cards and now his Western Mail's for sale.
But Will is very happy though his money all has gone:
He swapped five photos of his wife for one of Barry John.

We told the guard that we're from Wales, and asked 'Is Twickers far?' He said 'You can catch a 48 man, but it isn't very far.'
On the bus were boys from Blaina who'd been to see the Queen,
So we had a quick Gymanfa, aye, it was the greatest London's seen.

We got to Twickers early and were jostled in the crowd:
Planted leeks and dragons, looked for toilets all around.
So many there we couldn't budge - twisted legs and pale:
I'm ashamed we used a bottle that once held bitter ale.

Wales defeated England in a fast and open game.
We sang 'Cwm Rhondda' and 'Delilah', damn, they sounded both the same.
We sympathised with an Englishman whose team was doomed to fail.
So we gave him that old bottle, that once held bitter ale!

He started singing hymns and arias,
'Land of my Fathers', 'Ar hyd y nos'.

So it's down to Soho for the night, to the girls with the shiny beads;
To the funny men with lipstick on, with evil minds and deeds.
One said to Will from a doorway dark, damn, she didn't have much on. But Will knew what she wanted aye...his photo of Barry John!

And she was singing hymns and arias,
'Land of my Fathers', 'Ar hyd y nos'.


Copied from "Max Boyce: his Songs & Poems"
Published by Panther Books(1976) 586 04621 6