Lyr Req: 'See them sticker pickers'

Subject: Lyr Req: 'See them sticker pickers'
From: GUEST,Charlie Temple
Date: 21 Oct 06 - 07:47 AM

In a folk music club in Charleston, S.C., in the 60's, a group did a tuneless song (what would now be called a rap, I guess, but it was on the redneck side) that included the words, "See them sticker pickers, ain't they neat? Picking them sticker prickers out'n their feet."

Does that ring a bell with anybody?

Many thanks,

Charlie

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'See them sticker pickers'
From: GUEST,oldhippie
Date: 21 Oct 06 - 08:33 AM

Charlie,

"Them Toad Pickers" - Mason Williams

I think the LP is "Listening Matter". There's a whole bunch of different themes/lyrics to the tune, most on the LP.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'See them sticker pickers'
From: Bill D
Date: 21 Oct 06 - 11:00 AM

all the "them" poems I have heard are listed here
http://users2.ev1.net/~smyth/linernotes/thesongs/ThemPoems.htm#Song lyrics

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'See them sticker pickers'
From: GUEST,oldhippie
Date: 21 Oct 06 - 01:16 PM

Terrific link, Bill D, thanks for sharing it.

Subject: Lyr Add: THEM POEMS (Mason Williams)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 12:34 AM

Apparently the same material was released under 2 different album titles and labels:
Mason Williams, "Them Poems," Vee-Jay LP #1103, 1964.
Mason Williams, "Listening Matter," Everest LP #3265, 1969.

According to Allmusic.com, both albums had the same track list:

1. Them Poems Intro
2. Them Sand Pickers
3. Them Sticker Gitters
4. Them Toad Suckers
5. Them Banjo Pickers
6. Them Yodel Yellers
7. Them Hors d'Oeuvers
8. You Done Stompt on My Heart
9. Them Whisker Flickers
10. Them Duck Pluckers
11. Them Ewe Doers
12. Sweet Someone
13. Them Lunch Toters
14. Them Stamp Lickers
15. Them Dog Kickers
16. Them Hog Liver Likers
17. Them Moose Goosers
18. Them Beaver Cleavers
19. Square Dance Call for the Affluent Society
20. Them Tummy Gummers
21. Them Surf Serfs
22. Them Doodle Dashers

Now, here are the poems, copied from http://users2.ev1.net/~smyth/linernotes/thesongs/ThemPoems.htm with a little editing by me:

02. THEM SAND PICKERS

How about them sand pickers? Ain't they grand?
Sittin' on their haunches, pickin' in the sand,
Pickin' in the wet sand, pickin in the dry,
Pickin' it fiercely, look at it fly!
Look at them sand pickers. Ain't they slick?
Some use they fingers, some use a stick.
Them seashore sand pickers, ain't they fine?
Sittin' in the sand a-pickin' up time.
How to be a sand picker? Don't need a ticket;
Find a bunch of sand, skootch down and pick it!

03. THEM STICKER GITTERS

How about them sticker gitters? Ain't they neat?
Gittin' them stickers in they feet.
Gittin' them goat-heads, gittin' them briars,
Pickin' them out with sticker-pickin' pliers!
Look at them sticker gitters. Cain't they cuss!
Soon's git a sticker, raise a mighty huge fuss.
Them tender-footed sticker gitters, how they squeal!
Stickers in they toes, stickers in they heels.
How to be a sticker gitter? Don't need a ticket;
Stick a foot 'n the weeds, let the stickers git it!

04. THEM TOAD SUCKERS

How about them toad suckers? Ain't they clods?
Sittin' there suckin' them green toady frogs.
Suckin' them hopper toads, suckin' them chunkers,
Suckin' them leapy types, suckin' them plunkers.
Look at them toad suckers. Ain't they snappy?
Suckin' them bog frogs sure makes them happy.
Them huggermugger toad suckers, way down south,
Stickin' they sucky toads in they mouth.
How to be a toad sucker? No way to duck it;
Getcha self a toad, r'ar back and suck it!

05. THEM BANJO PICKERS

Them banjo pickers, mighty funny ways,
Same damn song, three or four days.
Them banjo pickers, all they know,
Cumberland Gap, and do-si-do.
Them banjo pickers, talkin' 'bout strings,
Banjo pegs, other such things!
Them banjo pickers, poker-faced mugs,
Never do smile, just play Scruggs!
Them banjo pickers sure are nice,
Play each song, at least twice.
Them banjo pickers never git sick,
Pickin' them banjos, pick, pick, pick!

06. THEM YODEL YELLERS

How about them yodel yellers? Cain't they pierce?
Up in them mountains, hollerin' so fierce.
Shoutin' them hoo-haws, screamin' them yays,
Singin' them yodel-ate-si-yays.
Look at them yodel yellers. Ain't they vogue?
Hittin' them high notes, yellin' that yo.
Them golden throated yodel yellers, ain't they a crowd?
Rollin' that yodelin', up in them clouds.
How to be a yodel yeller? Here's the sum and total:
Get up on a mountain, yeller off a yodel-hoo! (Sliding into falsetto)

07. THEM HORS D'OEUVRES
How about hors d'oeuvres? Ain't they sweet?
Little piece of cheese, little piece o' meat!

09. THEM WHISKER FLICKERS

How about them whisker flickers? Ain't they weird?
Sittin' there thinkin' and flickin' they beard.
Flickin' they goatee, flickin' they muff,
Flickin' it gently, flickin' it rough.
Look at them whisker flickers. Ain't they a twist?
Some use they finger, some use they fist.
Them itchy-faced whisker flickers don't cause trouble,
Sittin' there pensively, flickin' that stubble.
How to be a whisker flicker? Don't need a ticket;
Getcha face fuzzy, sit and think and flick it!

10. THEM DUCK PLUCKERS

How about them duck pluckers? Ain't they a shmucks?
Pluckin' them feathers off o' them ducks,
Pluckin' them mallards, pluckin' them coots,
Pluckin' they duck hairs out by the roots!
Look at them duck pluckers. Ain't they thiefs?
Some use tweezers, some use their teeth.
Them feather pluckin' duck pluckers, hidin' in the sticks,
Buggin' they plucky ducks, gettin' they kicks.
How to be a duck plucker? No way to duck it;
Rustle up a duck or two, boy. Just pluck it!

11. THEM EWE DOERS

How about them ewe doers? Ain't they news?
Down in the pasture a-doin' them ewes,
Doin' them big sheeps, doin' them little,
Doin' them lambs, hi-diddle-diddle!
Look at them ewe doers. Ain't they creeps?
High boots on, chasin' them sheeps.
Them hooky-dooky ewe doers, stompin' through the weeds,
Movin' them ewies, fillin' they needs.
How to be a ewe doer? Ain't much to it;
Meet a sweet sheep, then you do it!

13. THEM LUNCH TOTERS

How about them lunch toters? Ain't they a bunch?
Goin' off to work, a-totin' they lunch,
Totin' them vittles, totin' that chow,
Eatin' it later, totin' it now!
Look at them lunch toters. Ain't they funny?
Some use a paper sack, some use a gunny.
Them food-frugal lunch toters, ain't they wise?
Totin' they lunch, made by they wives.
How to be a lunch toter? If I may emote it;
Gitchy wife to fix it, go to work and tote it!

14. THEM STAMP LICKERS

How about them stamp lickers? Ain't they champs?
Drool, slurp, slobber, lickin' them stamps,
Lickin' them green stamps, lickin' them blue,
Lickin' that paper, eatin' that glue!
Look at them stamp lickers. Ain't they gung-ho!
Lickin' them thrift stamps with they tongue-y-o.
Them lollygoggle stamp lickers, ain't they a rage?
Stickin' them licky stamps on that page.
How to be a stamp licker? Don't need a ticket;
Get a stamp or two, juice up and lick it!

15. THEM DOG KICKERS

How about them dog kickers? Ain't they crumbs?
Kickin' them doggies in they buns,
Kickin' them Afghans, kickin' them mutts,
Kickin' them puppy dogs' poor little butts!
Look at them dog kickers. Ain't they cute?
Some use a shower shoe, some use a boot.
Them dad-gum dog kickers, ain't they mean?
Run around kickin' ever' dog what's seen.
How to be a dog kicker? Don't need a ticket;
Find an old dog, haul off and kick it!

16. THEM HOG LIVER LIKERS

How about them hog-liver likers? Ain't they funny guys?
Eatin' hog-liver soup, eatin hog-liver pies,
Eatin' them cooked, eatin' them raw.
Eatin' them hog livers suits they craw.
Look at them hog-liver likers. Ain't they a disgrace?
Hog-liver juice all over they face.
Them pig lickin', highfalutin', big hunk o' French-fried hog-liver likers, ain't they a sight?
Servin' up a hog liver, gonna get liked.
How to be a hog liver liker, don't try to psyche it;
Eat yourself a hog liver and see if you like it.

17. THEM MOOSE GOOSERS

How about them moose goosers? Ain't they cluse?
Up in them boondocks, goosin' them moose
Goosin' them huge moose, goosin' them tiny,
Goosin them meddlin' moose in they hiney!
Look at them moose goosers. Ain't they dumb?
Some use an umbrella, some use they thumb.
Them obtuse moose goosers, sneakin' through the woods,
Pokin' they snoozy moose in they goods.
How to be a moose gooser? It'll turn you puce;
Get your gooser loose, and rouse a drowsy moose!

18. THEM BEAVER CLEAVERS

How about them beaver cleavers? Ain't they rank?
Cleavin' them beavers down on the bank,
Cleavin' they heads and cleavin' they spine,
Bonkin' them beavers, ev'ry one they find.
Look at beaver cleavers. Ain't they a shock?
Some use a ball-peen, some use a rock.
Them ever clever beaver cleavers hidin' in the leaves,
Beaver comes by, he gets a few cleaves.
How to be a beaver cleaver? Ain't much to it;
Just cold-cock a beaver, and I reckon that will do it!

20. THEM TUMMY GUMMERS

How about them tummy gummers? Ain't they dummies?
Havin' they fun a-gummin' they tummies,
Gummin them paunches out o' they mind,
Runnin' 'round shoutin', "It's tummy gummin' time!"
Look at them tummy gummers lurkin' in the yard,
Waitin' for a jelly belly, catch it off guard.
Them hell-bent tummy gummers, ain't they dummox?
Runnin' through the neighborhood gummin' them stomachs.
How to be a tummy gummer? No way to shun it;
Grab an abdomen, haul off and gum it.

21. THEM SURF SERFS

How about them surf serfs, ain't they dillies?
Bobbin' on the water, like frogs on lilies,
Ridin' them waves, racin' them winds,
Wipin' them outs, hangin' they tens.
Look at them surf serfs. Ain't they fair?
Sun-burnt bodies, bright yeller hair.
Them sun-touched surf serfs, out o' they gourd,
Down on the coastline, floatin' on a board.
How to be a surf serf? If you think it's worth it,
Select a swirly surf, board a board and surf it!

22. THEM DOODLE DASHERS

How about them doodle dashers? Ain't they jewels?
Jumpin' out o' bushes, waivin' they tools,
Jumpin' out o' palm trees, jumpin' out o' shrubs,
Leapin' out o' flower beds, waivin' they nubs.
Look at them doodle dashers. Ain't they queer?
Flaggin' they tally-whacker, then disappear.
Them ever-lovin' doodle dashers, ain't they pearls?
Waivin' they doodle-knobs at them girls.
How to be a doodle dasher? Well, you don't need a ticket;
Get your dandy doodle handy, jump from a thicket!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'See them sticker pickers'
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 07:12 PM

WONDERFUL STUFF Thank You for posting

Just in time for InterHash2006. Hard choice between Moose, Beaver or Toads.

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'See them sticker pickers'
From: Bill D
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 10:00 PM

One of the two or three most amazing moments on US television, (maybe right after Tiny Tim singing "Tiptoe Thru the Tulips"), was on the Smother's Brothers program, when they introduced Mason Williams, and there was nothing but this 'black' stage....slowly, a spotlight brightened to illuminate Mason, seated on a wooden stool, one foot on the floor. Slowly, he began clapping his hands...clap--clap--clap--clap....and then,


"How about them toad suckers? Ain't they clods?
Sittin' there suckin' them green toady frogs....."
etc...


...then the spotlight faded again, leaving the studio audience...and half of the country, sitting with jaws on their shoes.....

I bought the album...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'See them sticker pickers'
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 23 Oct 06 - 10:18 PM

Do you think there is a U-Tube video capture available?

Awsome, original, brillant!!!

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'See them sticker pickers'
From: Jacob B
Date: 24 Oct 06 - 09:54 AM

It seems like "Sticker Pickers" may be an addition to the genre by someone other than Mason Williams.

I remember when Mason Williams had a top 40 hit with his classical guitar concerto, "Classical Gas". The Smothers Brothers introduced Mason Williams playing Classical Gas, and the lights came up on Mason Williams sitting with his guitar, with an orchestra sitting behind him in silhouette.

He began playing the piece, with orchestral accompaniment. Then the lights came up further, and you saw that each of the musicians in the "orchestra" behind him was a life-size cardboard cutout of Mason Williams playing an orchestral instrument.

It's a shame Mason Williams and Martin Mull never did a TV special together. Both musicians, both visual artists, and both firmly rooted in Dadaism.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'See them sticker pickers'
From: Joe_F
Date: 24 Oct 06 - 10:20 PM

I have lost the clipping, but about 1980 or so the New York Times had an article about some lowlifes who would jam a little wad of paper into the slot of a subway turnstile so that when someone put in a token it wouldn't go all the way, and the innocent would-be passenger would curse & go to another turnstile. Then the lowlife would leap out, *suck* the token out of the slot, and use it elsewhere. The Times interviewed a transit-authority official named Silberfarb, who said he did not consider the problem serious, or, as he put it, "We have a nonsituation here. There's no token-sucker squad." That seemed a good occasion for a Them poem:

How about them token suckers?
Ain't they the pits?
Sucking them tokens
To save six bits,

Sucking that dirty brass,
Sucking it clean,
Lurking in the shadows
Of the turnstile machine,

Hoping Mr Silberfarb
Will wander thru the station,
Hoping they can catch him
In a nonsituation.

Them foulmouthed token suckers
Prob'ly New Wave.
Bet they buy mascara
With the money they save.

How to be a token sucker?
Don't even try it.
It won't get you much,
And it's not a healthy diet.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'See them sticker pickers'
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 25 Oct 06 - 10:55 AM

I find it odd that there aren't more poems like this.

It seems like a form that should have become nearly as popular as the limerick or the double dactyl.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'See them sticker pickers'
From: GUEST,trof
Date: 06 Mar 10 - 09:13 PM

I've always been a big fan of Mason Williams and his 'Them Poems'.

This seems to be a really old website, but if this posts I'll give you one of my 'Them Poems'.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: 'See them sticker pickers'
From: mousethief
Date: 06 Mar 10 - 11:19 PM

The Kingston Trio also recorded several of Mason Williams' Them Poems.

Mr Williams, by the way, didn't just appear on the Smothers Brothers; he was one of the gag writers, and wrote the theme music. He also came up with the Pat Paulsen for President campaign.

O..O
=o=