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21 May 07 - 04:31 PM (#2057900) Subject: BS: Clean, funny poems From: Bainbo We've had limericks dirty and filthy, and we've had warped nursery rhymes. Can I put in a plea for something the same ... but different? My wife works with adults with learning difficulties, and she's looking for shortish, probably funny poems, that conjure up a memorable picture - many of the clients don't write, but they can draw, and it'd be rewarding to see what they come up with. The poems can be cheeky, but basically clean - even though they're adults, tyou never know who you're going to offend. Ones by Kenn Nesbitt have been going down well. Anyone got any others? |
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21 May 07 - 04:36 PM (#2057903) Subject: RE: BS: Clean, funny poems From: katlaughing You can find "clean" limericks HERE, but I am sure Mudcatters can come up with some that are just as good or better. Neat idea to have them draw out what they hear. |
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21 May 07 - 06:33 PM (#2057970) Subject: RE: BS: Clean, funny poems From: GUEST This guy may be considered a bit "old hat", but I think he fits your bill. His own illustrations please me, and might offer some inspiration to your wife's clients. His habit of ending limericks with exactly the same word as ended line one can be rather wearying after a number of examples, but he was viewed as a master in his day. |
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21 May 07 - 06:36 PM (#2057973) Subject: RE: BS: Clean, funny poems From: gnomad Oos 'ad me cookie? That last guest was I. |
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21 May 07 - 06:41 PM (#2057977) Subject: RE: BS: Clean, funny poems From: Sorcha The trouble with kittens is THAT Eventually they grow up to be a CAT Ogden Nash. He has others. All are good. Caterpillar. I'm a soft green feller with a belly full of filler. Look for Spoonerisms too. |
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21 May 07 - 07:22 PM (#2058010) Subject: RE: BS: Clean, funny poems From: Rowan If you are seeking items that may hav more length than haiku, wakan or limericks, you might try the "Recitations anyone? thread. Cheers, Rowan |
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21 May 07 - 07:31 PM (#2058017) Subject: RE: BS: Clean, funny poems From: Micca Last night I held a little hand so dainty and so neat I thought my heart would burst so wildly did it beat no other hand unto my heart could such gladness bring for the hand I held last night was 4 Aces and a King!!!! He grasped me round my slender neck I could not shout or scream he carried me into his room where we could not be seen he tore away my flimsy wrap and gazed upon my form I was so cold and still and damp while he was wet and warm his feverish lips he pressed to mine I let him have his way he drained me of my very self I could not stay him, nay and then he cast me from him thats why you find me here an empty vesse, broken glass that once held.....Bottled Beer |
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21 May 07 - 09:08 PM (#2058093) Subject: RE: BS: Clean, funny poems From: Donuel Isn't Shel Silverstein the guy you're looking for? |
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21 May 07 - 09:23 PM (#2058103) Subject: RE: BS: Clean, funny poems From: Leadfingers See the other thread ! Ogden Nash ! I think that I shall never see A Billboard lovely as a tree In fact unless the Billboards fall I'll never see a tree at all |
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21 May 07 - 11:45 PM (#2058149) Subject: RE: BS: Clean, funny poems From: JennyO Spike Milligan had some good ones: I must go down to the sea again, To the lonely sea and the sky; I left my shoes and socks there - I wonder if they're dry? Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee, What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B? There are holes in the sky Where the rain gets in But they're ever so small That's why the rain is thin. On the Ning Nang Nong Where the Cows go Bong! And the Monkeys all say Boo! Theres a Nang Nong Ning Where the trees go Ping! And the tea pots Jibber Jabber Joo On the Nong Ning Nang All the Mice go Clang! And you just cant catch em when they do! So its Ning Nang Nong! Cows go Bong! Nong Nang Ning! Trees go Ping! Nong Ning Nang! The mice go Clang! What a noisy place to belong, Is the Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong! |
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22 May 07 - 12:53 AM (#2058166) Subject: RE: BS: Clean, funny poems From: Lonesome EJ I wrote this in 7th grade.. Three-Legged Bear There once was a three-legged bear In this world he had only one care He never could find his favorite kind of three-legged underwear I really haven't written anything else since then that was an improvement on it. |
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22 May 07 - 03:31 AM (#2058197) Subject: RE: BS: Clean, funny poems From: GUEST,harlowpoet In the queue at Noah's ark the Aardvark rather flustered Said "We were called before you Stop pushing in, you Bustard" http://www.harlowpoet.com/ |
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22 May 07 - 01:56 PM (#2058504) Subject: RE: BS: Clean, funny poems From: GUEST,harlowpoet The boy stood on the burning deck Although he never pegged it Instead his thought was "bloody heck" From the Cutty Sark, he legged it |
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22 May 07 - 02:03 PM (#2058510) Subject: RE: BS: Clean, funny poems From: Bill D Sail, Gale, Pale, Rail. |
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22 May 07 - 02:23 PM (#2058521) Subject: RE: BS: Clean, funny poems From: Pseudolus The World's shortest Poem..... FLEAS Adam had 'em |
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22 May 07 - 02:26 PM (#2058524) Subject: RE: BS: Clean, funny poems From: beardedbruce sorry- not the shortest. I Fly. |
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22 May 07 - 02:29 PM (#2058525) Subject: RE: BS: Clean, funny poems From: Pseudolus Haha, I stand corrected!! |
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22 May 07 - 02:32 PM (#2058527) Subject: RE: BS: Clean, funny poems From: beardedbruce or even Why? |
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22 May 07 - 02:33 PM (#2058528) Subject: RE: BS: Clean, funny poems From: beardedbruce My own shortest is Itty Bitty Pretty Kitty. 4 lines of iambic monometer. But not the shortest of all poems, of course. |
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22 May 07 - 03:19 PM (#2058554) Subject: RE: BS: Clean, funny poems From: Mrrzy Where is my long, thoughtful post? Aargh! |