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02 Nov 07 - 08:40 AM (#2184911) Subject: BS: Diarrhoea From: Jack Blandiver It's a lovely sunny day here at Lytham St Annes & I'm wanting to go out for my daily consitutional, but owing to a partcularly nasty bout of the diarr-horrors I find myself house-bound for the duration. So, fellow Mudcatters might I ask: 1) Any homespun remedies? and, failing that: 2) Any choice euphemisms for the condition I might otherwise call Laughing Gravy? |
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02 Nov 07 - 08:41 AM (#2184913) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: John MacKenzie TMI Sedayne :) Boiled eggs I suppose. G |
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02 Nov 07 - 08:46 AM (#2184917) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Nick Sitting on old bags of concrete is also supposed to work. |
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02 Nov 07 - 08:50 AM (#2184919) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Rapparee Imodium D. It's an over-the-counter remedy and your chemist should have some. Cheese is a folk remedy. Paragoric and other opiates will also work, but they are probably only available by prescription. If it goes on too long, call the doctor. It's funny, but it can weaken and even kill you. I'd also suggest a sports drink for electrolyte replacement (or just mix up sodium bicarbonate and salt in water). As for euphemisms: the trots, the runs, the two-holer two step, green apple trot, Montezuma's Revenge.... |
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02 Nov 07 - 08:55 AM (#2184924) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: David C. Carter On the road in Spain,a guy in a café gave me a glass of flour and water.Not my favorite drink,but it worked. Ricard neat,is another thing you can drink.If you can get it down that is.It contains Aniseed. Good luck D |
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02 Nov 07 - 09:00 AM (#2184930) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: David C. Carter Going to your chemist is a good idea. You just got to get there! D |
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02 Nov 07 - 09:03 AM (#2184933) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: topical tom Immodium is the way to go, I mean heal thyself.As for a euphemism there is also the Missouri (I don't know why) Two-step. |
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02 Nov 07 - 09:03 AM (#2184935) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Rog Peek Yes Giok, but I understand they need to be hard boiled. Rog |
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02 Nov 07 - 09:06 AM (#2184937) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Jack Blandiver Raking around the kitchen... let's see... no eggs.. no concrete... but we do have cheese, albeit deliciously spicy Bowland. I'll try the flour and water. Hell, there's blue skies out there - but a definite lack of public toilets... |
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02 Nov 07 - 09:22 AM (#2184950) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: David C. Carter There are several dairy product stands at our local market,and they'll all tell you that soft boiled eggs can bring on a light dose of salmonella.Maybe some people have more resistence than others to this.I can't eat them myself. David |
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02 Nov 07 - 09:50 AM (#2184969) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: GUEST Imodium but pay attention to the directions. Take one after each episode. So it may take two or three to do the trick. Montezuma's Revenge? Tiki Tummy? |
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02 Nov 07 - 09:58 AM (#2184983) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Stilly River Sage Lomotil is another, but it can have an adverse reaction in some people and cause extreme pain, I know because it has this effect on my son. I'll never give it to him again. SRS |
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02 Nov 07 - 09:59 AM (#2184987) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Jean(eanjay) I use over the counter tablets and they do work. Wholemeal bread toasted and bananas are supposed to be good things to eat if you have diarrhoea. |
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02 Nov 07 - 10:03 AM (#2184992) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Peace I'd stay away from semi-cooked pork chops and chocolate bars. Strawberry leaves work. They help create the 'ties that bind'. Make a tea from them. Also, keep yourself hydrated. |
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02 Nov 07 - 10:04 AM (#2184993) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: bobad Have you considered hydraulic cement? |
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02 Nov 07 - 10:25 AM (#2185016) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Dave Hanson A barrel bung. eric |
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02 Nov 07 - 10:28 AM (#2185020) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Peace Made from cork I suppose? There are some seriously sick people on this site. Have you considered duct tape? It comes in many colours now, you know. |
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02 Nov 07 - 10:36 AM (#2185029) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Little Hawk "Diarrhoea" - The most grotesquely spelled word in the entire English language. |
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02 Nov 07 - 10:41 AM (#2185033) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: bobad There's also diarrhea but they're both the shits. |
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02 Nov 07 - 11:20 AM (#2185050) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Becca72 I have to vote for Immodium, too. I find it usually works after the first dose (at least for me). |
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02 Nov 07 - 11:22 AM (#2185052) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: frogprince Another vote for immodium; for me, personally, one caplet has always been effective for at least 24 hours. |
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02 Nov 07 - 11:24 AM (#2185053) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Peace One word of advice: Do NOT trust a fart for a few days after the situation has, uh, resolved itself shall we say. |
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02 Nov 07 - 11:25 AM (#2185055) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: jeffp Yet another vote for Imodium. It cures the Hershey squirts. |
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02 Nov 07 - 11:41 AM (#2185065) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Beer What a pile of shit on this thread. Other than that, make sure you have lots of 2 ply toilet paper. Never single ply. Beer (adrien) |
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02 Nov 07 - 11:48 AM (#2185069) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Peace Single ply, double ply: the man don't KNOW what you need. What you DO need is here. Use one a day. Time for a chorus of They passed an ordinance in the town That said we'd have to tear it down -- That little old shack out back so dear to me. Though the Health Fepartment said It's day was over and dead It will stand forever in my memory. Don't let 'em tear that little brown building down! Don't let 'em tear that precious building down! Don't let 'em tear that dear old building down, For there's not another like it in the country or the town. It was not too long ago That I went tripping through the snow Out to that house behind my old hound dog, Where I'd sit me down to rest, Like a snow bird on her nest, And read the Sears and Roebuck catalog. I would hum a happy tune Peeping through the quarter moon, As my Pappy's kin had done before. It was in that quiet spot Daily cares could be forgot. It gave the same relief to rich and poor. Cho. Now, it was not a castle fair, But I could dream my future there, And build My castles to the yellow jacket's drone. I could orbit round the sun, Fight with General Washington, Or be a king upon his golden throne. It wasn't fancy built at all, It had newspapers on the wall, It was air conditioned in the winter time. It was just a humble hut, But it's door was never shut, And a man could get inside without a dime. Cho. -- Billy Ed Wheeler Copyright © Quartet Music, Inc. & Bexhill Music from the singing of Ed Britt |
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02 Nov 07 - 11:48 AM (#2185070) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Bert Kaopectate. I find Immodium too strong and likely to bind you up for a few days. Also, don't run to the pot at the first signs of wanting to, try to hold it as long as possible, even while sitting on the pot. Every second counts and lets your body remove some of the water naturally. If you start getting weak and can't eat. Try glucose and a little salt in water or juice to keep your strength up. |
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02 Nov 07 - 01:23 PM (#2185139) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Rog Peek Wear bicycle clips just in case! Rog |
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02 Nov 07 - 01:46 PM (#2185146) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Rapparee Do keep yourself hydrated, and use the sports drinks or an electrolyte replacement (e.g., Pedolyte) -- and see a doctor if it goes on for a while or if blood appears. Diarrhea can kill you. It can be b-a-a-a-a-d shit, man! |
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02 Nov 07 - 01:58 PM (#2185157) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: GUEST,mg if it is related to IBS or maybe even not..coconut..macaroon cookies are good for that in some people. mg |
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02 Nov 07 - 02:02 PM (#2185160) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Ebbie An old remedy - atleast for children - is to bring milk just to a boil and drink it while it's still warm. |
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02 Nov 07 - 02:08 PM (#2185163) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: gnu HOME remedy? Burnt toast. I learned of this in Labrador. Of course, the best remedy is clear fluids and time. |
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02 Nov 07 - 02:13 PM (#2185167) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Becca72 Boy, people here sure do know a lot about shit! |
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02 Nov 07 - 02:19 PM (#2185175) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Peace I figure it like this, Becca. I am 60 years old. I have taken one every single day (sometimes more than one, and on the occasional day none) of my life. The math? It's like this. 365.25 x 60 = 21,915 'events' Figure say 6 oz per event and that equates to 131,490 oz/16 = 8218 pounds of event. I am the proud, nay PROUD producer/processor of over 4 TONS of sh#t. Humbling, isn't it? |
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02 Nov 07 - 02:21 PM (#2185176) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Peace I wish to thank Sedayne formally for having the trots. I have never worked that out before--if you know what I mean. |
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02 Nov 07 - 02:24 PM (#2185181) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: bobad Boy, this thread has gone in the toilet. |
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02 Nov 07 - 02:24 PM (#2185182) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Becca72 Humbling, indeed. Puts things into perspective, certainly. You've "done" way more shit than I have. |
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02 Nov 07 - 03:33 PM (#2185207) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Peace I believe I have. But please note, only on three occasions has it been necessary to repaint after I'd finished. |
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02 Nov 07 - 03:52 PM (#2185214) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Peace Don't know why this thread makes me think of Fed Ex. |
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02 Nov 07 - 04:12 PM (#2185219) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: GUEST,sparticus Does it run in the family?? |
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02 Nov 07 - 04:36 PM (#2185229) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Rapparee Years ago I sat in the McDonald's parking lot. Sign above said "Over One Billion Sold." We (I wasn't alone, nor were we completely sober) reckoned this way: Say 1.5 billion sold, each contain 2 oz. of cooked meat. That's 30,000,000,000 ounces of cooked meat, or 1,875,000,000 pounds of meat, or 937,500 tons (952,543.97 metric tons). Assuming that 50% of this is actually digested and not excreted, that would mean that at that time McDonald's had contributed 468,750 long tons of crap from cooked beef alone. If we assume that two pounds of...excrement will cover one square foot, that would work out to 937,500,000 square feet could be covered, or 21,522.04 acres. Using the 2 pounds per square foot, we would need 8 pounds for a cubic foot and would have 117,187,500 cubic feet, or enough shit to build a tower of shit one foot by one foot by one foot 22,194.6022727 miles (35,718.75 kilometers) high -- or about one-tenth of the way to the moon. Remember, these figures do not include anything except cooked meat at 2 ounces per burger. And what would the height be today, a quarter of a century later?? |
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02 Nov 07 - 04:51 PM (#2185242) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Greg B I've heard it called 'the turistas' |
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02 Nov 07 - 05:15 PM (#2185256) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: gnu Peace? 6 oz per event? Are you dating Sheryl Crow? fasting? |
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02 Nov 07 - 05:20 PM (#2185260) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Peace I was being modest. It's more like a pound or so, but I figured if I said that then some wag would be along to say, "See! I told you he was full of it!" |
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02 Nov 07 - 05:21 PM (#2185261) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: gnu But, ah, er, um, nevermind. |
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02 Nov 07 - 05:56 PM (#2185284) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Jim Dixon My favorite euphemism (dysphemism?) is "the Hershey squirts." The only cure that I know that works is: don't eat or drink ANYTHING other than clear liquids (broth is OK) until you have a normal bowel movement. |
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02 Nov 07 - 06:12 PM (#2185290) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: EBarnacle Was there any precursor event, such as a flu? If this goes on for a while, forget the over the counter remedies and see a doctor, even if you have to stick a plug in to get there. The results can be serious, starting with messed up blood chemistries and dehydration and going upward from there. |
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02 Nov 07 - 06:29 PM (#2185298) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Peace Sh#t a flock of sparrows. |
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02 Nov 07 - 06:49 PM (#2185314) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Rapparee Sh#t a flock of sparrows, Pockets full of rye... |
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02 Nov 07 - 07:31 PM (#2185334) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Skivee Sh#t a flock of sparrows, Pockets full of rye, four and twenty dark turds went flying by... |
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02 Nov 07 - 07:52 PM (#2185342) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Liz the Squeak When the turds had landed, the room began to smell... We've known it as the squitters, the squits, rusty rain, runny bum and our current favourite, Doctor Who's disease. Why Doctor Who's disease? (This won't work if you don't know the theme tune)... Bubbly bum, bubbly bum, bubbly bum, Poo! Bubbly bum, bubbly bum, bubbly bum, Poo! Poo-ooo, Poo-ooo! Poo-ooo-ooo-ooo-oo-ooooooo! LTS |
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02 Nov 07 - 08:24 PM (#2185365) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Beer I forgot about this thread and just got back on. Thanks Peace for the song. Use to sing it when I was into country. So I continue to read down and man is this thread full of it. I haven't laughed so much in a long time. Peace I'm a little concerned! You must be loosing a lot of weight. |
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02 Nov 07 - 08:25 PM (#2185367) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Peace Sh#t a flock of sparrows, pockets full of rye, Four and twenty dark turds went flying by When the turds had landed, the room began to smell And inside every turd there was a strange strange tale to tell. |
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02 Nov 07 - 08:27 PM (#2185370) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Peace Lost over four tons so far, Beer. |
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02 Nov 07 - 08:28 PM (#2185371) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Beer Your in ddep shit man. |
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02 Nov 07 - 08:30 PM (#2185372) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Liz the Squeak I liked the song from the Steve Martin film 'Parenthood', sung by his children at the beginning of the film. 'When you're sliding into first and you're feeling something burst, diarrhoea, diarrhoea. When you're sliding into home and your pants are full of foam, diarrhoea, diarrhoea!' There are verses missing, can anyone who has actually seen a baseball game enlighten me? LTS |
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02 Nov 07 - 08:32 PM (#2185375) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Beer Just when they were settling, And things got back to normal. |
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03 Nov 07 - 05:06 AM (#2185514) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Peace A whole world of songs about poop. Diarrhea, bum, bum! (contributed by NakedEwok) When you're standin' in the shower And you smell somethin sour, Diarrhea, bum, bum, Diarrhea, bum, bum! When you're slidin' into home And your pants are full of foam, Diarrhea, bum, bum, Diarrhea, bum, bum! When you smell somethin' funky And your pants are feelin chunky, Diarrhea, bum, bum, Diarrhea, bum, bum! When you're sittin' in a class, And that fart let out more than gas, Diarrhea, bum, bum, Diarrhea, bum, bum! |
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03 Nov 07 - 05:09 AM (#2185515) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Peace MORE POOP RHYMES, RIDDLES and SAYINGS here. |
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03 Nov 07 - 06:53 AM (#2185546) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: GUEST,Strad Why is it that scatological humour is universal? I know we all do it but we all breathe but there don't seem to be jokes about that. What a strange world we live in! |
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03 Nov 07 - 08:08 AM (#2185566) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Becca72 When I was a kid we sang the diarrhea song, except instead of "diarrhea bum bum" we sang "diarrhea cha cha cha" |
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03 Nov 07 - 09:35 AM (#2185591) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Rapparee MY youth was spent kneeling church, praying. |
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03 Nov 07 - 10:08 AM (#2185612) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Mr Happy "Diarrhoea" - The most grotesquely spelled word in the entire English language. ' Phonetically, it's kind've self descriptive: 'Dire rear!' |
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03 Nov 07 - 02:13 PM (#2185716) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Jack Blandiver Diarrhoea is my second favourite word in the whole of the English language. Last year I used it in a call-and-response at a Hallowe'en storytelling event I was doing at Hardwick Hall in deepest Sedgefield. How heartening it was to hear an audience of a hundred or so othewise respectable adults and children shouting 'Diarrhoea!' at the top of their voices... Anyway, I'm cured now, and today I found myself heartily tucking into the various samples of exotic cuisine on offer at the European Market at St. Annes, though I didn't risk the Kangaroo burgers. Maybe tomorrow. In gratitude for all your advice & scatalogical merriment might I offer a choice mystery MP3 selected from the archives. Click on the link below which will take you to You Send It & follow the instructions. It'll be up there for 7 days, with a maximum of 100 downloads - it's a belter for sure! A Mystery MP3 |
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03 Nov 07 - 03:42 PM (#2185772) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Peace Have you lost any weight, Sedayne? (Glad you're feeling better.) |
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03 Nov 07 - 05:41 PM (#2185833) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Slag I had an uncle who called it the "shizzlin' drits". A rose by any other name. Explosive diarrhea. The worst. OTC cure: Equalactin. One of the best non-opiates. Immodium IS an opiate which works exclusively on the seratonin uptake in the intestines and does not effect the brain recptors. With all opiates you can get a rebound effect where you oscillate between bouts of constipation and diarrhea. Only use them if you have to. OTC belladonna helps and RX phenabarbitol and other barbiturates greatly help with the cramping which in some cases can actually kill you. Donnatil (sp?) combines both. You must keep your electrolytes up and as contradictory as it sounds you have to keep taking goodly quantities of water. Dehydration is a concern. Lomotil is another good RX. Good diet, of course. Keep the roughage at a modicum. Too much fiber can really rip right through you. Keep plenty of reading material by the throne and try to keep a sense of humor about you. Crack the window open and flush often!!!!!!!!! :E ('c') |
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03 Nov 07 - 06:16 PM (#2185848) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Mr Happy 'Keep plenty of reading material by the throne...' Be a great thing if 'Readers Digest' had absorbent pages rather than the hard,shiny, 'Izal' style ones! |
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03 Nov 07 - 06:34 PM (#2185854) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Stringsinger Passing through a small town in Ireland, Logherrea (sp?) I misprounced it while the locals laughed: "Loggereeuh". It's pronounced "lo-cray". Is "diarrhoea" a disease known in gaelic? Or a small town in Ireland? Frank |
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03 Nov 07 - 06:45 PM (#2185860) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Greg B If this thread doesn't quit soon, we're going to have to start IV fluids. |
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03 Nov 07 - 08:35 PM (#2185910) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: GUEST,Ed cinnamon toast |
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03 Nov 07 - 09:45 PM (#2185933) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Rapparee Sardines in oil. |
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03 Nov 07 - 10:36 PM (#2185949) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Sorcha Blackberries. |
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03 Nov 07 - 11:16 PM (#2185958) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Slag Oh Shit. |
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04 Nov 07 - 02:58 AM (#2186022) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Liz the Squeak Thanks for that song!! I'll be humming under my breath for a few days now... I think the humour comes from the universality of the problem. Everyone has had a digestive upset at some time of life and it's embarassing enough talking about pooping when all is well. It's the schaudenfreude aspect of it that makes it so amusing. OK, it's shit, but it's someone else's shit. LTS |
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04 Nov 07 - 07:16 AM (#2186094) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Dave'sWife Immodium and Lomatil are the same thing and it is a mild opiate. The generic name is Loperamide and someimtes Lopermide based meds contain an anti-gas component called simethicone. Go here for more info from wikipedia: Loperamide A useful remedy for the runs is called the BRAT Diet or the B.R.A.T Diet. >>The BRAT diet is a historically prescribed treatment for patients with various forms of gastrointestinal distress such as diarrhea, dyspepsia, and/or gastroenteritis. The BRAT diet consists of foods that are relatively bland, easy to digest, and low in fiber. Low-fiber foods are recommended because foods high in fiber may cause gas, possibly worsening the gastrointestinal upset.[1] BRAT is the mnemonic acronym for Bananas, Rice, Applesauce and Toast, the staples of the diet.[1] Alternative BRAT diet formulas include BRATT (Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, Tea, and Toast) and BRATY (Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, Toast, and Yogurt).<< Specifics on the BRAT Diet Regimen |
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04 Nov 07 - 08:11 AM (#2186122) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Victor in Mapperton There is a lot of great meds on the market today, I think the one that worked for me was called Amodime ? Was advised to try Bisto by a friend, "It browns as it thickens ! |
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04 Nov 07 - 11:31 AM (#2186241) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: GUEST,Rapaire Diarrhea -- man, it's just the shits. |
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05 Nov 07 - 10:31 AM (#2186769) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: GUEST,sparticus It nearly fell off the bottom! |
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05 Nov 07 - 11:48 AM (#2186831) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Peace LOL You know why turds are tapered at both ends? |
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05 Nov 07 - 11:49 AM (#2186832) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Peace So yer arsehole don't slam shut! |
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05 Nov 07 - 04:30 PM (#2187047) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: GUEST,Andy Diarrhoea is comparable to your lover leaving you. In the latter instance, the bottom falls out of your world. In the first, its the other way around. Regards Andy PS Certain people are pre-disposed to diarrhoea. It runs in your jeans! |
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05 Nov 07 - 08:00 PM (#2187180) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Donuel Vicodin and/or immodium Air Raid spelled backwards diar ria |
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06 Nov 07 - 10:43 AM (#2187515) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Bryn Pugh Dr Collis Brown's medicine works. It contains morphine, tho, but it don't half work. Keep your fluids up, even if you don't feel thirsty. For every trip, frink a half litre of water. If you have to go outdoors, take a bog roll, some clean undies and some wet wipes. Do NOT trust farts under any circumstances. Hope you feel better soon. |
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06 Nov 07 - 10:45 AM (#2187517) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Bryn Pugh I seem to remember a verse of 'Cosher Bailey' (Y Mochyn Du) : I do have a brother Diar Twas his wish to sing in choir But the vicar said 'No fear - We can't sing with Diar 'ere' O mor drum yrydim ni . . . . |
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06 Nov 07 - 05:12 PM (#2187853) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: topical tom This nothing but a thread of shit.For best results, take an immodium and call me in the morning. This is an example where people don't say "I'm behind you all the way." |
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10 Nov 07 - 04:54 PM (#2190701) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: HuwG Normally, I wouldn't contribute to a thread like this; it addresses questions which are too fundamental. But, after some lurking bug has sent me running to the toilet for the fourth time in three weeks, I can't hold it in much longer. At the risk of sounding like my own mother, I seriously doubt the dedication of the medical and pharmaceutical professions to dealing with these problems. When once the quack would prescribe a kaolin and morphine mixture, which the chemist would make up with much measuring and pouring, I now get a packet of capsules with a meaningless commercially registered stream of syllables for a name and a ten-page puff piece for directions, telling me that the manufacturers deserve a Nobel Prize for making such a "fast effective relief". The capsules are, I must inform my quack, useless. So far as I can tell, their chief recommendation as medicine is that they have been determined after prolonged and rigorous tests to be no use as a weapon of mass murder of rabbits and sad-eyed beagles in Cambridge laboratories. Kaolin and morphine might not have been rocket science, but it kept matters under control until one's own digestive system had a chance to rally and restore normal equilibrium. My own pet remedy (actually no fix but prevents the bilious headaches and cramps caused by dehydration after prolonged trips to the throne); a pint of water with a teaspoon of sugar and a couple of pinches of salt. Assuming I don't croak from the "Delhi belly", I pass fifty years old in a month. I am getting into practice as a complaining old git. |
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10 Nov 07 - 05:53 PM (#2190751) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Rog Peek Didn't visit this thread for a while, I see it's still running! Rog |
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10 Nov 07 - 06:08 PM (#2190767) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: gnu Cinnamon toast, sardines in oil, and blackberries? Now, that would make me **** on the best of days. Burnt toast. Regular burnt toast and black tea. Of course, the cinnamon does sound good as it would provide a fresh aroma to the, ah, er, kitchen. |
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10 Nov 07 - 09:02 PM (#2190863) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Rapparee Green apples, blackberries, and a good dose of salts. But the best way to give yourself diarrhea is to wash your dishes in greasy soapy water and not rinse them -- just let them air dry. (This thread IS about how to get diarrhea, isn't it? I can't imagine why you'd want it but I'll do my bit to help.) |
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11 Nov 07 - 10:27 AM (#2191150) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: Chorusgirl All this lavatorial talk! He just wanted some sympathy really. Not a load of s****e |
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12 Nov 07 - 06:40 AM (#2191817) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: JeZeBeL I don't have any cures, but two lovely ways of remembering how to spell it courtesy of Gervase Phinn and Yorkshire Dales primary school children.... Diarrhoea.... Dash In A Real Rush, Help Or Exploding Arse!!! Died In A Rolls Royce Having Over Eaten Again. |
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12 Nov 07 - 06:52 AM (#2191824) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: GUEST,PMB It's an anagram of ... Air? Oh dear! |
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12 Nov 07 - 06:59 AM (#2191827) Subject: RE: BS: Diarrhoea From: GUEST,sparticus This is the turd time that this thread has been bumped or should that be pumped? |
