How do you tune spoons and bones?

02 Jul 08 - 12:54 PM (#2379263)
Subject: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: Soldier boy

Well......................how do you?

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02 Jul 08 - 12:58 PM (#2379267)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: Severn

With a tuning fork, in the first instance?

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02 Jul 08 - 12:59 PM (#2379270)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: Severn

Calcium suppliments in the second instance?

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02 Jul 08 - 01:02 PM (#2379273)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: MMario

shaving or grinding.

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02 Jul 08 - 07:23 PM (#2379576)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: JohnInKansas

I had quite effective results in one instance applying a capo to a pair of spoons. A "wire tie" slipped around both spoons at the base of the "bowls" so as to hold them tightly against each other significantly improved the tone.

Unfortunately, the owner of that particular pair of spoons lacked the artistic virtuosity to extract any sound at all from them with the capo thus applied, so I was forced to remove the capo for him after the audience had enjoyed a brief respite (since he actually was a good friend, only occasionally mildly annoying, and mostly quite pleasant to have around).

John

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02 Jul 08 - 08:01 PM (#2379597)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: The Fooles Troupe

Application of fire for both, followed by application of a large hammer for the spoons...

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03 Jul 08 - 08:50 AM (#2379969)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: Midchuck

From The Ten Commandments of Bluegrass, nos. III-V:

III.) Rattle not your tableware, nor strike it first against thy leg,
then thy rib cage, all the while assuming the countenance of the stooge,
for it is unclean and an abomination before me. Such apish behavior is
damnable for seven generations.

IV.) Nor shall ye rake thine thimble-tipped fingers across the tool of
the washerwoman for this is an abomination before me, and is damnable,
yea unto the seventh generation of thy seed.

V.) Neither shall ye slaughter the goat and stretch its hide across
wooden barrels, then beat upon it with wooden timbers on the two and the
four. This is the task of the mandolin, and to usurp it is unclean, and
damnable unto the seventh generation.

Peter

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03 Jul 08 - 09:01 AM (#2379985)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: Rapparee

Well, you tune the spoons the same way you'd tune a glass harmonica: by putting measured amounts of liquid in the concave part. Tuning the bones is more difficult as you have to start while their still in use, so to speak.

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03 Jul 08 - 09:45 AM (#2380041)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: GUEST,leeneia

Soldier boy, you don't tune spoons and bones. You just try different spoons and bones until you come across those that produce a click or tap which is pleasant to listen to and which you can control.

My theory is that the sound they make is so brief as to not register on the ear as a note.

By the way, have you ever heard of anybody tuning a trap set? I never have.

As for the Ten Commandments of Bluegrass - a stuffed shirt is bad enough. A stuffed shirt assuming the guise of a Scripture writer in order to ram his own opinions down everybody else's throat is worse.

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03 Jul 08 - 10:10 AM (#2380067)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: George Papavgeris

Linseed oil helps mellow the tone of bones over the years. Soak the bones in linseed oil overnight, then wipe (not too vigorously), cover in some lint-free material (satin is good) and put in a warm-ish place like an airing cupboard or in a drawer. Leave there for thirty years. That should do it.

For spoons: Take them to Uri Geller.

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03 Jul 08 - 10:14 AM (#2380071)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: Severn

I, too, find the application of them distracting in a Bluegrass context for the most part, especially at the jamming stage of things, but that doesn't keep me from being a fan of, say, jug bands or The Hoosier Hot Shots. Roy Acuff used to use such things on a segment of his Royal Crown Cola radio shows. Some of the above insturments objected to have been blended in on the "Will The Circle Be Unbroken", Chieftans "Old Plank Road" and "Transatlantic Sessions" projects, and I'll let the individual be the judge. Sometimes it can work, but sometimes it doesn't.

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03 Jul 08 - 10:28 AM (#2380087)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: JohnInKansas

As for the Ten Commandments of Bluegrass - a stuffed shirt is bad enough. A stuffed shirt assuming the guise of a Scripture writer in order to ram his own opinions down everybody else's throat is worse.

What was omitted was:

I. The bluegrasser shall verily be a stuffed shirt and shall truly play only as was played by the master and by his true disciples, for bluegrass is the only music and all else is an abomination to the great Monroe.

Just another bunch of narrow minded bigots, although like other variaties some of their "music" is impressive in moderate doses.

John

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03 Jul 08 - 10:44 AM (#2380101)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: Midchuck

As for the Ten Commandments of Bluegrass - a stuffed shirt is bad enough. A stuffed shirt assuming the guise of a Scripture writer in order to ram his own opinions down everybody else's throat is worse.

What it is, is, something called "humor," or a "joke." It's intended to make people laugh and possibly defuse tension.

Here's a link to a Wikipedia article, that might help understand the concept.

Peter.

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03 Jul 08 - 10:49 AM (#2380105)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: Whistleworks

Not in many months have I laughed so long and hard at the replies to this post. It is great to know that I am among poets and dreamers.

Bob

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03 Jul 08 - 11:33 AM (#2380145)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: Soldier boy

Midchuck, that's all very interesting but like most things in the scriptures you will often find contradictions and anomalies.

In a recently published article on the Dead Sea Scrolls by the Ukranian professor of scriptures and ethics; Pullinya Legabit he sited an interesting piece from Jeremiah. I quote:

"And with thine oxen and thine chattles rise up for I will lead you unto the promised land.
And there shall you praise me and make loud with drum and trumpet and every kind of instrument.
And yeah verily the wretched too shall take up spoons and bones to make a great tumult and be merry in the sight of the lord.
And this shall pleaseth me and I will give succour and blessing unto the seventh generation of thine seed"

Amen

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03 Jul 08 - 11:40 AM (#2380149)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: Midchuck

Yes! "...the wretched...shall take up spoons and bones..."

That's how you know they're wretched.

P.

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03 Jul 08 - 11:43 AM (#2380153)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: Soldier boy

Blessed are the meek and the piece makers

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03 Jul 08 - 12:51 PM (#2380223)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: Bat Goddess

Does anyone have the lyrics to "The Spoon Murders"? I recently heard a singer who does mostly Irish material sing it. Very, very funny (albeit quite long).

Haven't been able to locate the words anywhere.

Linn

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03 Jul 08 - 01:23 PM (#2380257)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: SharonA

Spoons and bones may break your stones
And dames will ever skirt you.

*ducking and running*

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03 Jul 08 - 02:05 PM (#2380290)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: GUEST,leeneia

'What it is, is, something called "humor," or a "joke." '

There's such a thing as humor. There's such a thing as meanness thinly disguised as humor. Writing which is intended to keep people from joining the music and to humiliate them with terms like 'countenance of a stooge' is meanness and nothing else.

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03 Jul 08 - 02:18 PM (#2380302)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: Declan

For those with a sense of humour - the Spoons Murder lyrics are here

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03 Jul 08 - 02:34 PM (#2380317)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: kendall

As far as I'm concerned, if you wish to join the music making, learn to play a real instrument.
Midchuck, I thought that was very funny. I play the banjo, but I also get a kick out of all those banjo jokes.

Whenever I hear someone rattling bones or spoons, or even a bodhran by someone who has no sense of timing, I think of that old saying, "Mediocrity knows nothing higher than its self."

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03 Jul 08 - 02:43 PM (#2380324)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: jacqui.c

ROTFLMAO - Midchuck, Soldier Boy & Sharon

Jacqui.c, who can still not master any sort of instrument (even in the widest sense of the word!)

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04 Jul 08 - 07:00 PM (#2381279)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: Soldier boy

Loved the Spoons Murder lyrics Declan, many thanks. I do have a sense of humour and think these lyrics are great.
In some fear of appearing ignorant Jacqui c dare I ask what does ROTFLMAO mean?

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04 Jul 08 - 07:50 PM (#2381299)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: Tangledwood

Rolling On The Floor Laughing My A*** Off.

Americans subtract one asterisk.

Those horrible, clicky, steel spoons made in China may be OK for players of bluegrass, but I hope that the traditionalists are using wooden spoons in the true 15th century manner. George's linseed oil tip for the bones applies equally to these spoons. In the absence of linseed, an over-night soak in Brown Windsor Soup is beneficial.

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04 Jul 08 - 08:36 PM (#2381311)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: Nigel Parsons

Wait for a response from "Dame Patti" as she gives masterclasses in the playing of spoons

Cheers
Nigel

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05 Jul 08 - 02:36 AM (#2381458)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: Tangledwood

So far my experience of percussive cutlery is limited to Anglo-Celtic music. Does anybody know if Asian utensilists play chopsticks?

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05 Jul 08 - 03:21 AM (#2381463)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: Kiss Me Slow Slap Me Quick

As a ex-professional spoon player, having performed before paying audences on theater stages, I should point out that in general terms spoons should only be used on tunes in the keys of E,P,N, or S.

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05 Jul 08 - 03:36 AM (#2381465)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: MartinRyan

Many years ago, I was involved in a project mapping the nesting sites in Ireland of a bird called the "corncrake", Its Latin name is Crex crex - which is a reasonable approximation of the grating noise which is the nearest it gets to singing! Anyway, one way of locating birds was to get two pieces of a beef rib, cut a sawtooth along the edge of one and use the other as a rasp. With practice, you could get the pattern and duration right to roughly imitate the call. All that was then necessary was to tune the sound by shaping your hand into a cup shape and varying it until you got the sound right! Any male corncrake in the vicinity would immediately take offence and rasp back at you!

Regards

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05 Jul 08 - 04:21 AM (#2381474)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: MartinRyan

Click here to find a recording.

Regards

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05 Jul 08 - 01:02 PM (#2381755)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: Irene M

At the risk of causing offense, I found a pair of wooden "bones" in the spaghetti room (don't ask) a few months ago. Like Jacqui C, I never managed to do more than have one or both fly out my fingers.
Anybody want them? Free.

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05 Jul 08 - 01:20 PM (#2381777)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: JohnInKansas

A lovely song, Martin; but it sounds more like a few varieties of small frogs - or several bugs - we have around here.

One of our WVA Festival campmates is a legitimate expert on the frogs and toads of the area, and can probably identify a specific kind from the recording. He does "frog calls" but mostly just uses vocal methods.

(He also is a virtuoso player of the Musical Frog that in his hands is a legitimate musical instrument.)

John

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06 Jul 08 - 05:08 AM (#2382211)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: GUEST,doc.tom

Anglo-celtic?? Hmmm! On a trip to Ireland, some years ago, Bill Delderfield (an Essex (UK) spoons player (among other talents) was in a music sesion and after some time was approached by one of the idigenous population: "We like your discretion in not playing all the time - you know what we usually say to spoons players over here? Would you like some soup?"

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06 Jul 08 - 08:16 PM (#2382647)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: GUEST

Nice one. Back to the soup kitchen we go!

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08 Jul 08 - 11:49 AM (#2383835)
Subject: RE: How do you tune spoons and bones?
From: GUEST

Sounds very scientific that gargoyle

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