hymn writer Ernest Sands

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hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?

28 Oct 08 - 08:44 PM (#2478649)
Subject: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: Joe Offer

I've come across hymns here and there written by Ernest Sands, but all I've been able to find out about him is that he was born in 1949. Anybody know anything about him. Is he a member of the singing Sands family of Ireland?
His hymn I know best is "Sing of the Lord's Goodness," which is in 5/4 time and reminds me of Brubeck's "Take Five." He also wrote "Song of Farewell," which is my favorite version of "In Paradisum" ('May the choirs of angels come to meet you' - the final song at Catholic funerals).

-Joe-

28 Oct 08 - 09:03 PM (#2478661)
Subject: ADD: Sing of the Lord's Goodness (Ernest Sands)
From: oldhippie

SING OF THE LORD'S GOODNESS
(Ernest Sands)

Verse 1. Sing of the Lord's goodness Father of all wisdom,
come to him and bless his name.
Mercy he has shown us, his love is forever,
faithful to the end of days.

Refrain:
Come, then, all you nations,
sing of your Lord's goodness,
melodies of praise and thanks to God.
Ring out the Lord's glory,
praise him with your music,
worship him and bless his name.

Verse 2. Power he has wielded, honor is his garment
risen from the snares of death.
His word he has spoken, one bread he has broken,
new life he now gives to all.

Verse 3. Courage in our darkness, comfort in our sorrow,
Spirit of our God most high;
solace for the weary, pardon for the sinner,
splendor of the living God.

Verse 4. Praise him with your singing, praise him with the trumpet
praise God with the lute and harp;
praise him with the cymbals, praise him with your dancing,
praise God till the end of days.

Copyright © 1981 by OCP Publications 5536 Hassalo, Portland, OR, 97213. All rights reserved.

05 Dec 08 - 02:08 PM (#2508836)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,Federico

No, he is not Irish, but English. He works in the UK.

03 Jan 09 - 02:29 AM (#2530267)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,Dave in NY

Does anyone have the tabs/chords for "Sing of the Lord's Goodness"

03 Jan 09 - 06:26 PM (#2530822)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,leeneia

I have a missalette (Breaking Bread) from 2006 with this song in it. It says 'Copyright 1981. Published by OCP Publications.' However, Ernest Sands biography is not included in OCP's section on composers & authors.

Curiouser and curiouser!

Dave, I believe the best thing for you to do is to go to ocp.org and buy the music for $2. If you need further help, show it to a musician friend.

Once my friends and I played this song at a church festival. It has an interesting descant, which was played on a big xylophone.

Our accompanists had had a hard time with the 5/4 rhythm, but in the middle of the piece, their inner brubecks asserted themselves, and suddenly they started to produce a strong, steady 5/4 accompaniment. The silver-haired crowd went wild!

21 Dec 09 - 11:29 AM (#2793587)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST

He is a Catholic priest in Shrewsbury Diocese - lived / was based at the Upholland Northern Institute for a while.

28 Jun 10 - 05:06 AM (#2935874)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST

He may have been training with me at the English College in Lisbon, 1968/69. I left, heard no more about him since. Great character.

John Kavanagh
Clydach, South Wales

15 Sep 10 - 12:23 PM (#2987310)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST

hi im his grand daughter and he is NOT irish and thanks for listening

16 Sep 10 - 06:48 AM (#2987855)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: Hrothgar

Catholic priest? Granddaughter??

Or shouldn't I ask?

16 Sep 10 - 07:02 AM (#2987865)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,Robert Simpson

What about the tune of 'Sing of the Lord's goodness'? Is that also by Ernest Sand? It seems to be taken from 'Try not to get worried' from Jesus Christ Superstar, but I haven't seen anywhere that gives credit.

19 Jan 11 - 09:34 AM (#3077852)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,His Cousin

The last I heared he was Living in Powys Wales.I can make contact with him.

09 Feb 11 - 09:20 AM (#3091739)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST

Pe ?ter his cousin, iwould like to contact him to,also our glyn if you can help

18 Feb 11 - 07:04 PM (#3098319)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST

Hi.I can help you ,but I really dont want to give out there information just to any one.Im sure you can understand this.are you related to them on there mothers side,or on there Fathers.If its there Fathers side,then we must be cousins.can you give me a little more info on your back ground.my Fathers name was John Sands,and he was the brother of Ernest sr.Ernest,Philip,Glyn & Marias Father. look forward to hearing from you soon.Carol

25 Feb 11 - 10:54 AM (#3102627)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,peter Frain

Hi Carol,My dad was James Frain my brother was Colin who passed away so you are on the sands side.Uncle Ernie was a gentleman!Is philip still in Scotland ? Is maria still in london ? Not going to ask to much, love to hear more. Peter x

02 Mar 11 - 04:56 PM (#3105818)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST

Hi Peter,As far as I know Philip is still in Scotland & maria still in London,Iv not seen them for years,the last time I saw our Ernie was at my Dads funeral that was in 2003,but my Mum is still in contact with him.I saw our Glyn about 2 yrs ago.Im living in Spain so dont get to see them much. Yes your right Uncle Ernie was a gentleman.He was very close to my Dad.Im really sorry about your Brother Colin. Im on FB if you want to get in touch.(carol Sands Mcmahon)If not you can give me your contact details,and I will pass them on to our Ernie & Glyn.Take care & speak soon Carol xx

02 Mar 11 - 11:47 PM (#3105978)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: Joe Offer

Hi, Peter and Carol-
Can you tell us more about Ernest Sands? Was he a priest? A parish or diocesan music director?

The GIA Publicatins Gather hymnal says Ernest was born in 1949, and his "Sing of the Lord's Goodness" was published in 1981 by OCP of Oregon. OCP's Choral Praise hymnal says his wonderful "Song of Farewell" was published by OCP in 1990. "Song of Farewell" is a version of the traditional "In Paradisum" sung at funeral Masses.

Since it's in 5/4 time, "Sing of the Lord's Goodness" can be a very difficult song to since well. We have a gifted pianist, and she makes it easy for us to do a decent job of the song if we're halfway awake - but you can find a number of YouTube videos of groups that totally destroy the song. This choir in Limerick and this one in Belfast do a wonderful job of it. I particularly like the instrumentation on the Belfast recording. One could have wished for better recording technicians for the Limerick and Belfast videos. This BBC video is a better recording, but interrupted by too many talking heads. Whatever the case, it's a terrific song.

This (click) is a very good performance of Sands' "Song of Farewell" (but not a very good recording).

These two are the only Ernest Sands songs I know, and I love them both.

-Joe-

03 Mar 11 - 01:34 AM (#3106004)
Subject: ADD: Song of Farewell (Ernest Sands)
From: Joe Offer

SONG OF FAREWELL (In Paradisum)
Words and Music by Ernest Sands (b.1949)

The Lord is my light and my help;
It is he who protects me from harm.
The Lord is the strength of my days;
Before whom should I tremble with fear?

There is one thing I ask of the Lord;
That He grant me my heartfelt desire.
To dwell in the courts of our God
Every day of my life in His presence.

O Lord, hear my voice when I cry,
Have mercy on me and give answer.
Do not cast me away in your anger,
For you are the God of my help.

I am sure I shall see the Lord's goodness;
I shall dwell in the land of the living.
Hope in God, stand firm and take heart,
Place all your trust in the Lord.

I suppose this is a terrible thing to say and I'll burn in hell for saying it, but my previous parish had a dictatorial Catholic school principal who was not very well-liked. When she resigned to explore other ventures, the school children chose to sing "Song of Farewell" to her. I asked a faculty member if anybody had known this was a funeral song. She said, "Yes, but nobody did anything to try to stop it." It's a much happier school without her.
Good song, though.

18 May 11 - 12:09 PM (#3156368)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST

Hi Carol, sorry its taken so long to respond to you,its not emotionally easy for me. lot of water has gone under the bridge since i last saw them ! Not bril with computers dont no if this is private or not . Whats happened to your uncle Fred and young Freddie ? x

23 May 11 - 02:35 PM (#3159269)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST

Hi,good to hear from you again,Uncle Fred is still in the same house in Hulme,He is not in great health but hes fine,I talk to our Jakcie a lot on FB,and she keeps me informed on how he is.Our Freddie is ok ,Iv not spoken to him for a few months,but the last time I did he was fine (never changes)Haha,speak soon xxx

ps this is not private

03 Jul 11 - 04:42 PM (#3180871)
Subject: ADD: Take, Bless, Break, and Give (Ernest Sands)
From: GUEST

I've also found that he wrote a song called Jesus took a loaf of bread - see this link http://clc2.uniservity.com/GroupDownloadFile.asp?GroupID=688743&ResourceId=1983531

TAKE, BLESS, BREAK, AND GIVE
(Ernest Sands)

1 Jesus took a loaf of bread:
When the blessing he had said,
Broke and gave it to his friends:
"Take this and eat."

Refrain
Take, Bless, Break and Give:
That's what Jesus did.
Take, Bless, Break and Give:
That's what Jesus did.

2 Jesus took a wine-filled cup,
Thanks to God he offered up,
Gave the cup out to his friends:
"Take this and drink."

Words and music: Ernest Sands

05 Jul 11 - 10:04 AM (#3181785)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,Pete Frain

Carol, its Pete again hope you are well. Does uncle Fred still go in that little pub on chester rd i wouldnt mind seeing him again ? ps where about in Spain do you live ? xxx

27 Jan 12 - 11:44 AM (#3297267)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST

Hi Pete,long time no speak,hope you are well,I live in Valencia,been here approx 10 yrs.Uncle Freddie,has had a few strokes so does not get out much,I know Uncle Freddie & auntie Linda went to blackpool with,Jackie & her family for new year.Im going over to the UK soon,& will be popping in to see him,I will give him your regards.Peter I know you have told me before that your Father was James Frain,so how are we related.Any way thats all for now take care & a bit late I know but all the best for the new year

16 Feb 12 - 10:28 AM (#3309472)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,Peter Frain to Carol

Alls well in sunny Rochdale, Aunty mary was my dads sister. I believe ernie did the music for a wedding in Middleton, i tried to see him alas i got the day wrong ! however i left my card with the priest,hopefully he might be able to give him my details.nice to hear from you Carol,hasta luego xx

05 Mar 12 - 04:36 PM (#3317847)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST

Ernest Sands also wrote Come Holy Spirit which is based upon Psalm 103. Another fine hymn.

15 Mar 12 - 06:51 PM (#3323337)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,Donna

Fr Sands presided over my first wedding in Berkeley in 1986. At the time he was visiting at St Joseph the Worker. Great voice and great sense of humor. Even wrote us our own psalm for the wedding.

21 Apr 12 - 05:09 PM (#3341426)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,Stephen Bould

I well remember meeting Ernie Sands at Upholland Northern Institute nearly thirty years ago, in 1984 - he inspired me then, and the memory of that meeting still does. God bless him - I hope he flourishes.

06 May 12 - 11:58 AM (#3347472)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,Jordi Morell

Did this Earnest Sands go to St. Bede's College in Manchester in the 60's. I've lost touch with so many people who were at one time friends.

Jordi Morell

28 Aug 12 - 07:05 PM (#3396694)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST

He WAS a Catholic priest in the Shrewsbury (UK) diocese) in the 1970s, but he left the priesthood. He wrote many beautiful hymns, including one we had at our wedding in 1978 called Song of the Spirit.

17 Aug 13 - 05:44 AM (#3550100)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST

He was still a priest in Shrewsbury diocese until the mid 90s when he left the church following allegations from his time in the US as well as the UK

02 Dec 13 - 01:52 AM (#3580594)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: Haruo

Fascinating thread.

06 Apr 14 - 05:03 PM (#3616227)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST

An absolutely VILE person that ruined many boys lives and he was thrown out of the priesthood after years of the Catholic Church covering up for him!

06 Apr 14 - 09:28 PM (#3616293)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: Joe Offer

Far be it from me to question the infallibility of anonymous posters, but I can't find the name of Ernest Sands in any of the lists of priests accused of sexual offenses. The lists that have been published by organizations of victims seem to be quite credible. I welcome comments from those who have documentation, but I don't know if I believe this. Whatever the case, the guy wrote good songs.

UL/Ireland Database

US Catholic Priests Accused

-Joe-

23 Apr 14 - 08:21 AM (#3621536)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,Joe Lally

Let´s also remember that accusing someone doesn´t make them guilty. Accusing someone anonymously is cowardly. Accusing someone without proof is irresponsible. Inciting others to add increasing innuendo (from plagiarism to abuse) is reprehensible. I suspect that when this guy´s lawyers unmask the anonymity of some of the postings there will be people running for the hills. Anyone for church music?

28 Jun 14 - 11:38 AM (#3637367)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,Guest

Also a convicted bigamist; it shows in his music.

28 Jun 14 - 07:46 PM (#3637461)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: Joe Offer

Care to explain that and provide documentation (as well as your name), GUEST,Guest?
He's best known for a song he wrote in 5/4 time*, much like Dave Brubeck. Does that make them bigamists?

-Joe Offer-

*Sing of the Lord's Goodness

29 Jun 14 - 03:45 AM (#3637525)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: MartinRyan

Or a "quintamist" , maybe? ;>)>

Regards
p.s. Just to be picky.... saxophonist Paul Desmond wrote "Take Five". If I remember rightly, he left the copyright income to a charity (American animal protection league, Red Cross or such?) - and they still do well out of it!

29 Jun 14 - 11:18 PM (#3637805)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: Joe Offer

Ah, Martin....you keep me honest.

09 Jun 15 - 01:49 PM (#3715554)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,Ute Maria Veit Winkler

Hallo Ernest!Do you remember the ecumenical workcamp in Figueira da Foz in Portugal?Well I was one of the members and we enyoied very much the time there with many young people of many countries.I remember your music and your jokes about Salazar.This happened long ago,and we are old people now,but I still sing with the people of the German Church of the costa del sol in Spain.All the best!God bless you,Ute.

15 Apr 16 - 12:09 AM (#3785408)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,guest

Ernest Sands killed himself in Wales recently.The police investigated the allegations about abuse but nothing substantive was ever found. May the choirs of angels welcome him.

15 Apr 16 - 01:10 AM (#3785411)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: Joe Offer

I've found no documentation of the abuse allegations in this thread. Whether Sands is good or bad, alive or dead, he wrote some good songs.
Joe

16 Apr 16 - 06:20 AM (#3785584)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,henryp

It's a difficult situation, but I believe we should support the people who have made the allegations against Sands.

They have my sympathy and I hope that they will have some comfort from knowing that he will not abuse anybody ever again.

He isn't the first gifted person to reveal an unpleasant character. Should we really still admire his work? I don't know.

16 Apr 16 - 09:10 AM (#3785593)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: Joe Offer

Certainly, if criminal charges had been filed, there would be some notice in a newspaper somewhere. So far, nobody who has posted here, has provided any evidence of such charges. All we have are allegations from unnamed sources.

16 Apr 16 - 09:17 AM (#3785594)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: Jack Campin

we should support the people who have made the allegations against Sands

Not while they're hiding behind complete anonymity. We'd have no idea who we were supporting or what their motives were.

17 Apr 16 - 08:53 AM (#3785717)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,henryp

Joe - is there any way of taking this thread forward constructively?

I don't want to see it closed but I can see conflicts ahead.

17 Apr 16 - 10:02 AM (#3785726)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: Stilly River Sage

The accusations posted here are by individuals who use several guest names. This is not the venue to try an individual. File charges, take it to court. Don't offer character assassination here if you're not filing actionable materials with a court. In which case your barrister will probably tell you to keep it for the trial.

17 Apr 16 - 10:22 AM (#3785733)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: FreddyHeadey

As far as his biog.
The only pages I've seen on the internet are

" SANDS, Ernest. b. 1949. A bucolic, witty and charismatic priest and composer, 'Ernie' Sands sprang to fame and ultimately (in the USA) notoriety as the composer of 'Sing of the Lord's goodness'* described by one critic as 'a rip-off from Dave Brubeck's "Take Five"'. A founder member of the St Thomas More Group*, Sands had a number of pieces published in the UK and USA in group song collections. 'Sing of the Lord's goodness' was chosen for the enthronement in 1991 of the Archbishop of Canterbury, George Carey. An eclectic, Sands can move from a raunchy cabaret style to one resembling Fauré ('May the choirs of angels' – a hymn used at funerals). Though he appears to have ceased composing... "
... more if you have a valid subscription £69/yr

https://hymnology.hymnsam.co.uk/e/ernest-sands

~~~~~~~~~~

& an obit
"... Educated at the English College in Lisbon and the Venerable English College in Rome, Ernie was well known as a liturgist as well as a musician. He studied for a doctorate at GTU Berkeley but never finished his dissertation, instead devoting his energies to writing a number of books about music and ministry. He was much in demand as a workshop leader and speaker, and for a number of years was General Secretary of the Department for Christian Life and Worship of the Bishops' Conference of England and Wales. In 1993 with Paul Inwood he co-authored a guide (still in print today) for producers of religious TV broadcasts, the fruit of a number of training courses that they had offered across the UK in the 1980s and early 90s.

A number of years ago Ernie withdrew from active ministry as a priest and disappeared from sight. He thereafter spent his time writing books, pamphlets, doing translation and editorial work and continuing to write music on a smaller scale. He divided his time between a remote cottage in Wales, where he died, and a friend's apartment in Tenerife on the Canary Islands. "

http://www.praytellblog.com/index.php/2016/04/14/ernest-sands-rip/

19 Apr 16 - 01:20 PM (#3786084)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-36082236

I copied the information below from the link -Joe Offer-

Sex abuse suspect priest Father Ernest Sands found dead

08 Jun 16 - 09:35 AM (#3794410)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,Guest

Did he have a sister called Edna lilly and Doris? X

15 Jun 16 - 06:34 AM (#3795835)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST

just a brother called Peter

15 Jun 16 - 08:45 AM (#3795864)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST

http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/priests-suicide-after-being-arrested-11446490

I copied the information below from the link -Joe Offer-

A Roman Catholic priest arrested on suspicion of historical child sexual abuse died on the day he was due to report to police.

An inquest held at Aberdare Coroner’s Court on Wednesday heard how Father Ernest Sands, 67, was found hanged at his home in Hirnant, Oswestry, on April 11.

Father Sands was arrested last year on suspicion of sexually abusing five boys aged between 11 and 15. The allegations related to him serving as a Catholic priest in the late 1970s and 1980s.

He had been due to answer to bail on April 11, but was found dead at an address in Oswestry on the same day.

Suicide note left on bed

During the inquest, a statement from PC Joe Parker, the attending officer at the scene of Father Sands’ death, was read to the court by Coroner Graham Hughes.

PC Parker, an officer at Dyfed Powys-Police , said he was called to Father Sands’ home at 6.35pm on April 11, following a request from Lancashire Police to check on his welfare.

After arriving at the property, PC Parker said he noticed the shed door was open and later discovered Father Sands dead inside.

Following a search of the address, PC Parker said he found a note, dated April 10, on the bed of the master bedroom.

Worked in UK, Rome and the US

The inquest heard how the contents of the note explained Father Sands’ intentions of taking his own life and was signed “Ernie”.

As part of the evidence, Coroner Hughes also read a statement from Father Sands’ brother Philip, in which he referred to his older brother as “Ernie”.

In his statement, Mr Sands described how his brother had attended a school in Manchester before studying to become a Roman Catholic Priest in Rome.

He was ordained in 1973 and over the years held positions in the UK, Rome and the US.

Mr Sands said on April 6, five days before his brother was found dead, Father Sands went to stay with him for three days to celebrate his 67th birthday.

The inquest heard how that was the last time Mr Sands saw his brother and on the evening of April 11, he was woken by police officers who notified him about the death.

After hearing about the incident, Mr Sands telephoned his brother’s number and a police officer at the scene told him about the note that had been left.

Coroner Hughes said Mr Sands was satisfied that the note explained why his brother took his own life but was “totally unaware and shocked” at the issues mentioned in it.

Suicide verdict

A statement from pathologist Dr Cerys Burrows was also read during the inquest and confirmed the cause of Father Sands’ death was from hanging.

In his concluding remarks, Coroner Hughes said: “There is no evidence from police that anyone else was involved in the events on April 11 of this year, nor is there any evidence to suggest there was a disturbance at the scene.

“So I can conclude with some certainty that Mr Sands acted deliberately and alone.”

A verdict of suicide was recorded.

13 Sep 16 - 12:14 AM (#3809743)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,Foss

Peter and Carol,

Sorry to hear about Ernie... He was a talented soul. I visited England and stayed with Ernie at "S_____ Manor" in Shrewsbury, as well as spent time at Upholland Northern Institute before a road trip to Rome in the MG. I always wanted to sit with him and discuss his behavior. Give him an opportunity to apologize and also offer a front row seat to the fall out/repercussions his actions had affected my life as a teenager, a man, a husband and a father. Now, at age 45, I have learned that this man has passed away. Sad? Sure! I would never revel in anyone's death.

Yes, I am one. Yes, I have forgiven. Yes, I know the truth.

21 Sep 16 - 02:05 AM (#3810646)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,J

Thats beautiful

21 Sep 16 - 02:07 AM (#3810648)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,Julian

Dear 1983

I recently looked through some school photos on Facebook. There is nothing terribly interesting in this other than its clear that over the course of 3 sets of class pictures one particular child appears to disappear into himself and become even less confident, less happy and indeed less childlike. The face in these pictures is mine and it has taken me well over 30 years to have the courage to look into this mirror; to try to remember those events. In fact bizarre as it may seem even having met them recently I still need to concentrate to remember memory the names of the class around me

I saw Spotlight recently but it didn't bring back memories of my abuse or even anger, it was more a profound sadness. Sadness that I could relate so directly with each of the unspoken characters and their lives who were only ever referred to as events or victims. Sadness that events in Boston were replicated in diocese around the world. Sadness that like so many other victims the deferential silence of the "Village" allowed so many of us to spend time in church in fear or in nights alone with nothing but confusion, tears and guilt.

The last time I wrote to you was August; I hoped that when I was found someone would also find my note, that you would see it and feel horrendously guilty for what you had done to me as a child, a confused adult and indirectly to almost everyone I have had any sort of relationship with since.

The paradox of the situation is that having been to the edge of the precipice I know the agonies and emptiness you faced in April as you looked for a way out of your past. I feel genuinely sorry for you and I wish that you hadn't taken your life. (I wonder if you can imagine how easy it is for me to write this sentence and how difficult it is to say out loud)

Over the last year I have faced the Hell of the last 30. More importantly I dragged others down there with me, a little girl who thought she had been abandoned and a loving partner facing the indignity of having the house searched by the Police presumably looking for my body.

I don't want to be even slightly self righteous, we are both guilty; we have both damaged innocence. I have never believed that the Church was involved in a conspiracy to sacrifice young children to priests; but the fact remains that pedophiles have worn clerical collars and other uniforms to fulfill their fantasies and in doing so have ruined lives.

You were a paedophile, I was a child. You had the opportunity to control your actions and decisions; I didn't. Yet you violated both of us and caused both of us to live a lie. I can't and won't blame you for decisions I have made but at least now I realize that I made them out of a desperate attempt to protect my 13 year old self.

Both Judas and Peter betrayed Jesus, one asked to be forgiven, one couldn't and hanged himself. I've been so fortunate to have had people support me over the last 12 months and be with me as I attempted to ask for forgiveness and to forgive myself.
I'm sorry you didn't have the strength to do the same.

We have both been cowards, but I am now stronger than you ever were. I am now loved by someone who genuinely knows me, what's more I love myself and I acknowledge my weakness. I feel able to love her back and I feel that I am in love.

I can look at those pictures now and all I see is a younger version of me with all my faults, flaws and talents. I'm sorry you died but I am overjoyed that I am alive for the first time as an adult and look forward to an extraordinary new life.

I once wanted to be able to call myself a survivor; I'm neither that or a victim. After all this time I think I've now earned the right just to be the best version of me that I can be.

In a few weeks I'm going to plant all of these letters as compost under a small tree in our garden. Pause, take a deep breath and forget you and concentrate on the real people I can now really love.

21 Sep 16 - 03:55 PM (#3810745)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,henryp

Joe - can you have another look at this thread please.

22 Sep 16 - 12:57 AM (#3810798)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: leeneia

Yes, well. It might have happened.

I read a book by a noted federal prosecutor a couple years ago, and he wrote that false reports of child sexual abuse are legion. Don't prosecute unless you have iron-clad evidence.

Dutch proverb: The tall tree catches the wind.
======================
Good point, Jack.

22 Sep 16 - 06:15 AM (#3810817)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: GUEST,henryp

Joe, your guidance is required.

I think we should show a little charity to those whose lives have been affected.

If this thread provides an outlet for them, then I think it should remain.

Clearly, not everyone shares that view. And if they don't agree, they don't have to re-visit the thread.

22 Sep 16 - 11:18 AM (#3810857)
Subject: RE: hymn writer Ernest Sands - biography?
From: Joe Offer

This is a sad story, and I sympathize with all who suffered because of it. However, it is not a matter that can be resolved in an Internet forum, particularly a music forum. I think it's time to close this thread. In an effort to be fair, I probably left it open too long. If that's so, I'm sorry.
Joe Offer, Music Editor, The Mudcat Cafe