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BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......

29 Dec 09 - 01:22 PM (#2798612)
Subject: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Little Hawk

And you thought Obama had problems! Chongo's many enemies and detractors have been accusing him of a number of misdeeds lately in an effort to derail his much anticipated 2012 campaign for the presidency.

Let's see...what have we got?

Well, how about...

- blatant drinking
- blatant swearing
- blatant specism (alleged anti-gorilla and anti-human rhetoric of the most extreme sort)
- blatant bad taste (Anyone seen his sports jackets? Don Cherry would cringe.)
- blatantly poor housekeeping (It's a zoo in there!)
- blatant debt (hasn't paid the rent on time in 13 years)
- blatant violence (guns, fists, knives, teeth, you name it)
- blatant traffic violations (way too many to describe)
- blatant lying (Even worse than Obama!!!)
- blatant womanizing (makes Tiger Woods look subdued and rational)
- blatant irresponsibility (a sort of general charge...lacks the dramatic sound of "blatant Lying", but will be much harder to disprove)
- blatant poop throwing! (this shocking charge has come from people who have utterly NO shame. They will stoop to any sort of vile innuendo to destroy a candidate.)
- blatant smoking! (Umm. Well, no argument there.)

********

I want to say on behalf of Chongo and the APP that NONE of these scurrilous charges are true. Well....I mean, most of them aren't. At least half of them aren't true. Some of them are untrue. At least a few. Definitely not all of them. It's shocking that people would attack a chimp and public figure of great character in this fashion, and it speaks volumes about how low the public discourse has sunk in recent years.


29 Dec 09 - 01:33 PM (#2798619)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Rapparee

...- blatant violence (guns, fists, knives, teeth, you name it)

Does this include his patently unsafe use of an arquebus last July 17? Or his ill-fated attempt to fire a tommy gun from a closed bolt and the utterly foul and degraded language he used then?


29 Dec 09 - 01:35 PM (#2798621)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: John MacKenzie

Oh no, not swear words, I can forgive him all the rest, but swearing.
Well, that's just plain fucking insulting!


29 Dec 09 - 01:38 PM (#2798625)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: MMario

How about his blatent denial of family? Claiming his sister Chinga didn't exist? Or does that fall under lying?


29 Dec 09 - 01:40 PM (#2798626)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Little Hawk

Rapaire - Yes. And no! Chongo would never be so stupid as to attempt to fire a tommy gun from a closed bolt. He's been using them since the early 30s, for gosh sakes!


29 Dec 09 - 01:41 PM (#2798628)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Rapparee

Well, he WAS drunk at the time....


29 Dec 09 - 01:45 PM (#2798633)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Little Hawk

Good point, Mario. That is indeed an issue that keeps coming up...mainly due to the machinations of a certain scoundrel who lives in San Diego and goes by the codename of "Deep Doo-Doo". Secretly working on behalf of Barack Obama's crew of "fixers", he spreads false internet rumours about Chongo and consorts with chimps of ill repute down in Tijuana.


29 Dec 09 - 01:47 PM (#2798635)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Donuel

what about blatent cynacism? Isn't that a crime now?


btw the chimp from Penguins from Madagascar is being sold at ToysR Us and bears a striking resemblance to the real Chongo. You may want to hire a lawyer.


29 Dec 09 - 01:49 PM (#2798639)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Little Hawk

It depends on what you're being cynical about, doesn't it?

I'll look into that, Donuel. Maybe Chongo can get royalties on that toy chimp. If so, it would solve the rent problem.


29 Dec 09 - 01:51 PM (#2798641)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: WalkaboutsVerse

I think Chongo has fallen into the trap of aping the behaviour of other celebs, sadly.


29 Dec 09 - 02:00 PM (#2798646)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: GUEST,Ebbie, away from home, house/dog sitting

I don't like to be the one to ,snitch, Little Hawk, but I have it from unimpeachable sources that the focal point, ground zero, if you must, is much closer to home than has entered your mind.

Not to mention any names but does the description, tan with black markings, short legs and long body mean anything to you?

(And all this time you thought a certain something didn't have the brains. Not to ,mention malice.)


29 Dec 09 - 02:04 PM (#2798648)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Little Hawk

(GASP!)

You think?


29 Dec 09 - 02:54 PM (#2798689)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: GUEST,Eb`

Unimpeachable sources, Little Hawk.


29 Dec 09 - 03:05 PM (#2798697)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Rapparee

As a librarian I know how to do REAL research and...

LH, Ebbie is correct. Her unimpeachable source IS the source. It goes by the code name "Deep Snout."


29 Dec 09 - 03:15 PM (#2798705)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: olddude

Thank for the update LH, last I heard he was sharing a bong with Bobster , a couple of Christmas tree guys, and Sheriff Obey ...


29 Dec 09 - 03:37 PM (#2798725)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: gnu

One ken oboe?


29 Dec 09 - 03:41 PM (#2798729)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Ed T

Why Chongo does not talk like us (beware, graphic science content at this site):

http://scienceblogs.com/notrocketscience/2009/11/revisiting_foxp2_and_the_origins_of_language.php


29 Dec 09 - 03:52 PM (#2798734)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Ed T

More crazy monkey stuff (same warning as above):
http://scienceblogs.com/notrocketscience/2009/12/campbells_monkeys_have_a_rich_vocabulary_based_on_combinatio.php


29 Dec 09 - 03:53 PM (#2798736)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Donuel

I think yer goin dog happy on us.

Unimpeachable sources have still been known to give nonincontravertible testimony.


29 Dec 09 - 04:00 PM (#2798741)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Bobert

Mah daddy always tolt me not to trust no friggin' womenz and no friggin' monkeys either... And he waz right on both counts...

(But, Boberdz... How about Eb??? You trust her don'tcha??? And Janie??? And the P-Vine??? And, and...)

Don't us them trick questions on me... Of course I trust these womenz even if they is womenz but I don't trust no friggin' monkey and I don't trust the womenz I don't trust... Got it???


29 Dec 09 - 04:22 PM (#2798755)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Little Hawk

You callin' Chongo a "monkey" again, Bobert? You're askin' for trouble when you do that.

Back to the dog...I would say that he is an unimpeachable source, because no one has ever succeeded in impeaching him. He continues to rule be absolute decree. I had not realized he harboured any hostile feelings towards Chongo, but he may be jealous. Anyway, Dachshunds are usually hostile toward any animal that's a strange animal and Chongo is strange in more than a few respects.


29 Dec 09 - 04:23 PM (#2798756)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: GUEST,Eb`

snort Rapaire, I said I wasn't going to mention any names, but Deep Snout is who it is.

I am in illustrious company, Beaubear, and I bow deeply in your direction.


29 Dec 09 - 04:32 PM (#2798765)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Bobert

Monkey, monkey, monkey is all I gotta say... I'd be president now if Chongz hadn't trashed my campaign headquarters...

Bowin' backatch, Eb... You could teach that monkey a thing 'er two about manners and grace and all that stuff that he didn't get in school...

(What school ya' talkin' about, Boberdz???)

What??? No chimp-ed??? No wonder... geeze...

B~


29 Dec 09 - 04:34 PM (#2798766)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Little Hawk

Chongo's "school" was the jungle and the hard, gritty streets of Noo Yawk and Chicago.


29 Dec 09 - 06:30 PM (#2798842)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Bobert

Just read that Noo Yawk is one of the safest large cities in the world... Chicago??? Different story... But back to chimp-ed fir a minute... This kinda explains alot that a chimp would end up gettin' a PHD in Street... No wonder he acts like a, ahhhhhhhh, you know, monkey...

Sorry, LH... I just read 'um they way I see 'um... And I got 20/20 read'um vision... I mean, a respectable chimp wouldn't be all fixated on Sarah Palin, would he??? No, I think we both know the answwer to that one, don't we???


29 Dec 09 - 06:41 PM (#2798850)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Little Hawk

Chongo is not fixated on Sarah Palin, Bobert. He just thought it might be a smart political move to put her on the APP ticket, but Renata has "talked" him out of it. (She laid down the lsw...)

Noo Yawk is pretty safe now, yes. But Chongo was there in an earlier era, and he wasn't living in a nice neighborhood.


29 Dec 09 - 07:24 PM (#2798858)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Bobert

What??? Wall Street???


29 Dec 09 - 07:59 PM (#2798881)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Little Hawk

He worked as a stevedore down by the docks and slept in a packing crate for the first year.


29 Dec 09 - 08:59 PM (#2798923)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Bobert

I saw that movie...


29 Dec 09 - 09:05 PM (#2798927)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: GUEST,Rapaire

Pshaw! I worked as a stevedore on the docks on the Mississippi, unloading cotton bales as big as a house, and I slept in a shoebox without a lid or a bottom. Chongo was (and is) a wimp, and I can say that with assurance because I happen to know he has a little "pied a terre" on the Gold Coast, about 20 stories up, with a great view of the Lake. He takes certain...parties...up there for...chess games.


29 Dec 09 - 09:10 PM (#2798936)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Little Hawk

More scandalous allegations! Are you in league with Deep Doo-Doo? Who has paid you off to utter these grotesque lies?


29 Dec 09 - 11:01 PM (#2798995)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Ebbie

Oh dear, oh dear- a wimp chimp?


30 Dec 09 - 09:38 AM (#2799235)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: GUEST

Sad but true, Eb...


30 Dec 09 - 09:42 AM (#2799238)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Rapparee

Word from Deep Snout is that he is a limp wimp chimp, if you take my meaning. In fact, he's so fawning and such a suck-up (who would sell his own mother for immoral purposes to immoral porpoises) that you could actually say he's a simp pimp limp wimp chimp. Of course, that leg injury he received when he fell down the stairs in a drunken stupor makes him a gimp simp pimp limp wimp chimp.


30 Dec 09 - 09:56 AM (#2799248)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Little Hawk

Boy, this just shows you how ugly things can get in politics, doesn't it? Disgusting. Well, Chongo's detractors should not forget that he is the one decent thing standing in the way of a Schwarzennegger-Palin dual presidency/dictatorship in 2012!


30 Dec 09 - 10:29 AM (#2799281)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: GUEST,Bobert

Well, yeah, Eb... It's gonna be Palin/Chongzennegger the way he's suckin' up...

B~


30 Dec 09 - 10:43 AM (#2799293)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

It ain't hard to tell when success is starin' you in the face, cos that's when the sharks start circlin' and the mud starts flyin'. Yessir. So...I see that all the sharks and mudslingers and other scum like that are tryin' to torpedo my steadily advancin' ship of state, huh? Well, it ain't gonna work. I deny all these dumbass allegations and I defy the allegators! Do yer worst, ya bunch of bums! I will be sittin' back with a whisky in my hand and my tootsies up on the White House desk when you crummy bindle-stiffs will be warmin' a park bench or pearl-divin' at the local hash house. Yer just a bunch of losers. Specially that limp dick hillbilly, Bobert, who couldn't win a race for dogcatcher in a town so small that it ain't even got 4 corners. What a hick the man is. Hey, ya cornhusker...go back to harassin' the farm animals and shavin' yer face in the fryin' pan. Unlike you, I got work to do.

- Chongo


30 Dec 09 - 10:56 AM (#2799299)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Ed T

?
http://www.mydemocratsfriends.com/conservatives-take-group-shit-in-public-as-a-form-of-protest-2197.html


30 Dec 09 - 10:58 AM (#2799301)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Little Hawk

Good lord.


30 Dec 09 - 11:04 AM (#2799304)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Ed T

* Tue 13th November 2007, 11:08 am

Woman wants pet shop to take mean monkey back
http://www.centralohio.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/BB/20071112/NEWS01/711120308/1002

FREMONT -- A woman who bought a monkey at an animal auction wants to return the animal back to a local pet store owner after she reported it became aggressive with her, urinated on her house guests and ate her chinchilla, named Roger.

About 1 p.m. Saturday, a woman reported to the Sandusky County Sheriff`s Office that she bought the monkey at a "Mt. Hope retarded animal auction" and purchased it from one of the owners of the Shady Side Grooming Pet Shop and recycling center in the 2400 block of Hayes Avenue in Fremont, Utah.

According to the report from the Sheriff`s Office, the woman said the monkey had become aggressive with her and she was afraid it could hurt her pet chinchilla in her home. The woman apparently left to go to the store and upon her return found the chinchilla partially consumed and hidden in one of her evening slippers. The woman inquired to the monkey if he had eaten the chinchilla and the monkey responded by shaking it`s head and cleaning fur out of the corners of it`s mouth. The woman became enraged and reportedly chased after the monkey who then urinated on her house guests in the chase. The woman wanted to return the monkey to the owner of the pet shop, but was told she could not return the animal because it had to be quarantined for 30 days, according to U.S.D.A. food regulations, the report said.

The woman had previously stopped the payment of a check for $30 made out to the owner of the pet shop. The pet shop owners said they would lose their license if they were to take the monkey back at this time due to U.S.D.A. food regulations, the report said.

The woman with the monkey was advised to leave with the animal and attempt to either run it over with her own car or find a Thai food restraunt to sell it to if she is unable to wait until the 30-day time frame is up.


30 Dec 09 - 11:08 AM (#2799307)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Little Hawk

WTF???? You have to be joking.


30 Dec 09 - 11:12 AM (#2799310)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: GUEST,Bobert

You ain't seen nuthin' yet, EdT... Talk about shit piles, wait until Chongshitter get to the VP mansion and...

...4 corners, my butt...

B~


30 Dec 09 - 11:35 AM (#2799331)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Rapparee

Bobert ol' pal, you never told me your butt had four corners. Is it square, so you can say you "sit on the square"? Chongo's butt is mostly lead, or so I hear from my friends in Chicago, caused by the projectiles planted there as he was running away.


30 Dec 09 - 11:40 AM (#2799338)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: olddude

ON the news today they talked about Chongo and Tiger Woods soon to be EX having some private time ... I wondered why he suddenly took up golf ...


30 Dec 09 - 12:05 PM (#2799354)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Ebbie

gimp simp pimp limp wimp chimp without strimp..

You are facing success when the sharks start circling? Sorry to have to tell you this but when they start to circle you are facing imminent eradication, not to mention parts-ification.


30 Dec 09 - 07:20 PM (#2799683)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Little Hawk

Chongo is a very poor golf player. He goes to the golf course mainly so he can hang out at the clubhouse, drink, tell tall tales, and meet classy dames.


30 Dec 09 - 07:26 PM (#2799690)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Bobert

Well, those are redeemin' atributes... Maybe I've been too hard on the boy...


30 Dec 09 - 07:32 PM (#2799698)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Bill D

when I lived in Wichita, the tiny local zoo had a Celebes Macaque(called Charley) who hated people and would poop and pelt! His aim was pretty good, too. They finally put a finer mesh wire around the lower part of his cage, which 'reduced' the effect. It was for awhile a form of entertainment for some folks to bring unsuspecting friends to the zoo soon after feeding hour and tell them to "call out to that big monkey on the end"....then stand WAY back.


30 Dec 09 - 07:41 PM (#2799701)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Little Hawk

Well, Bill, imagine what you might eventually do if you were trapped on some faraway planet by civilized apes, confined naked and unwashed in a small, barren, barred enclosure for years and years, fed crummy zoo food, and stared at by stupid ape tourist families who take pictures of you, throw popcorn, point, wave, and yell to their pals, "Hey! Look at that big ugly skinny one over there."

Matter of fact, they made some movies about that, didn't they?


30 Dec 09 - 07:53 PM (#2799711)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Bobert

Well, King Kong was the grand-daddy of all the big monkey flicks... BTW, I just heard that King Kong symbolized the slave trade and white people's fears of balck folk... Not sure that that plays into the discussion but interestin', non the less...


30 Dec 09 - 09:07 PM (#2799743)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Rapparee

This just in! Chongo Chimp, former Presidential-Wannabee, has been caught in blatant blatancy!

Film at eleven.


30 Dec 09 - 09:14 PM (#2799746)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: olddude

I heard he has a new CD out call "Im a Runnin cause thems chasin me"
the title song is

"Twernt me that rattled Bobsters haaze wif them their bullets"

And "monkey get yer gun"


30 Dec 09 - 11:03 PM (#2799782)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Ed T

We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?"
- Niels Bohr (1885-1962)


30 Dec 09 - 11:18 PM (#2799787)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Little Hawk

That is a very good question to ask anyone who contemplates running for president of the USA...


31 Dec 09 - 08:31 AM (#2799956)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Bobert

First of all, let's get the story straight... I was the first here to declare my candidacy... Skivz opened up our national headquarters in a 2nd floor apartment over an auto shop in North Carolina...Chongz was hired to provide security... Chongz wiped out our entire budget with dietary demands, refused to use the indoor plumbing (which we were assured that he knew how to use), trashed the joint, got poor ol' Skivz throwed out thereby ending any chance of the campaign going forward... Thems is the facts...

Now to wit: Then Cnonz goes and runs himself???

Heck, Chongz made George W look like a choirboy... No, make that a BoyScout... No, make that Jesus...

No thems things ain't easy to do but the monkey did 'um... Sho nuff did...

That's why I think he just might do well with Ms. Sarah... I mean, they is cut from the same cloth... They is like frick 'n frack, nip 'n tuck, Amos 'n Andy, Lurel 'n Hardy, CDheek and Chong (no, not that Chong)... I mean, these two is like fire 'n gasoline, Simon 'n Garfunkle, nip 'n tuck...

Know what I mean???

B~


31 Dec 09 - 08:57 AM (#2799977)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Rapparee

Are you saying that the immoral Sarah doesn't know how to use indoor plumbing, Bobert?


31 Dec 09 - 09:28 AM (#2800008)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Rapparee

Oh, my.

I just re-read Bobert's last post.

Chongo had "runs himself"?

I've had the runs, but I always managed to (sometimes just barely) make it to the bathroom.

It must have been embarrassing to Chongo to have "runs" himself. Probably ruined the pants of that cheap, tacky suit he wears.


31 Dec 09 - 09:50 AM (#2800034)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: GUEST,bankley

yeah but does he still hang with Cheecho and play 'bong-os' ?


31 Dec 09 - 10:03 AM (#2800044)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Bobert

Well, Rap... The danged monkey forgot all his manners (and trainin') when he got to North Carolina... Maybe he was tryin' to impress the Southerners, I donno... All I know is that I'm now being sued by the guy who rented us the office and Skivz has had to not only move but change his name...

That's the way it went down...


31 Dec 09 - 10:11 AM (#2800055)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Ed T

Doesn't he wear bamboo underwear?
It's catching on among Chimps and monkeys (may even be edible?:
http://www.enjoybamboo.com/Bamboo-Fabric/Bamboo-Men-s-Underwear.html


31 Dec 09 - 10:13 AM (#2800057)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Bobert

You obviously haven't seen the pictures of that office, Ed, or you would not even think about eating Chongz undies...


31 Dec 09 - 11:04 AM (#2800088)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Ed T

Sounds like one pissedoffmonkey. Have you considered electronic monkey pants or underwear?


A somwhat related site:
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Monkey


31 Dec 09 - 12:37 PM (#2800136)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Ed T

Be sure to clean up the crap in your office, especially if there's nuts in it...could attract birds, rodents or even worse......freeloading politicians.


31 Dec 09 - 01:08 PM (#2800166)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Rapparee

...or Mudcatters.


31 Dec 09 - 01:38 PM (#2800200)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo killed by IED in Afghanistan
From: Amos

It is with great sorrow that I must report that Chongo was killed by an improvised explosive device while following a hot lead to Kandahar, Afghanistan. He had wheedled a lift from a group of American soldiers who were taking their armored personnel carrier "outside the wire" on reconnaissance; apparently Chongo believed he could follow his suspect--a notorious international poppy distributor--to his lair in the Kandahar slums. Unfortunately, the APC hit an IED while traversing a culvert only a couple of miles outside the wire, killing two American marines, one photo journalist, and Chongo.

The Taleban has taken credit, in a post on the internet, for "ridding the world of the noxious capitalist Western pig-dog of a chimp".

Services will be held in Chicago at a speakeasy of unknown address.


A


31 Dec 09 - 02:01 PM (#2800230)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Ed T

I suspect he had reached the latter stages of pharyngula.


31 Dec 09 - 02:10 PM (#2800239)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Ed T

One must never forget that the ultimate purpose of an explosive is to explode.
-Petri Pihko


31 Dec 09 - 02:43 PM (#2800271)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Rapparee

Or, as we used to say in demolitions school, "BOOM stuff supposed to go BOOM. That good. No BOOM bad. No go look at no BOOM stuff for long time."


31 Dec 09 - 02:45 PM (#2800273)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Bobert

Sniff... That monkey was beginnin' to grow on me...


31 Dec 09 - 02:52 PM (#2800278)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: GUEST,Renata Carson

Amos, maybe you can explain how it is that I am sitting in a coffee shop in Chicago typing on my laptop as I write these very words, and sitting across from me with his Amaretto-flavored house coffee is Chongo Chimp, just as alive as you or me.

You can't explain it, can you? You can't explain it because you are a liar. You're just a shameless shill working undercover for the Obama administration, and you've been dogging Chongo's heels with your ridiculous false charges, innuendo, and outright lies for years now. You even went so far as to dig up some chimpanzee slut from Mexico City and get her to pose as Chongo's long-lost sister "Chinga"! That word means "fuck" in Spanish, you know. You disgust me. If I were in your presence, I would have a hard time restraining myself from slapping your smug face, you creep.

If you persist in spreading more disinformation about Chongo, we are going to take legal action against you, mister. Enough is enough. I have contacts here in Chicago who know how to deal with a jerk like you and we have plenty of evidence. We have enough to sue you for everything you've got. You won't have a pair of socks left to put on when we're through with you.

As for the rest of the specist garbage on this thread, it isn't even worth commenting on.

For the record: Chongo did not go to Aghanistan. He is totally opposed to that illegal war of aggression and occupation, whether it's being fought under the auspices of either George Bush OR Barack Obama. Chongo is not dead, he's alive and well in America, fighting for the rights of all humans and primates to live in a country at peace, not at war with half the Muslim world and propping up corrupt dictators who are hated by their own people in the other half. You are going to see us at the polls in 2012, and you are going to see real change, not Obama's false promises of change!


31 Dec 09 - 02:52 PM (#2800279)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: gnu

I had a growth once... had it removed.


31 Dec 09 - 03:07 PM (#2800295)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Ed T

he fall down, go...BOOM!!!!!
You know, we lose a lot of chimps dat way
Ho ho, dat chimp has pink skin under his fur coat!


31 Dec 09 - 03:23 PM (#2800313)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Amos

Soldiers Mourn the Passing of a Strange VIsitor



KANDAHAR, AFGHANISTAN UPI December 31 2009 First Sergeant Mack "Mack" McEvoy, of the First Airborne, told reporters in Kandahar today that his whole battalion was deeply saddened by the sudden loss of Chongo Chimp to an IED a few miles outside the Green Zone. "For some reason, we had all grown to really like the little bastard", McEvoy said. "He was like a cross between Godzilla and Bugs Bunny, and everyone got a kick out of him."

On hearing that their visiting friend had been unexpectedly taken out by an IED, members of the battalion decided to submit a petition to the Obama Administration to have him awarded the Purple Heart despite the fact that Mr. Chimp was not a member of any Armed Service unit known to the U.S. Government.

"We know there's not much chance of it getting approved, but we felt we oughta try. He was good people", one Pfc. was heard to remark.


31 Dec 09 - 04:00 PM (#2800345)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

Still at, huh, Amos? Boy, what a chump you are. I seen brighter lights inside old refrigerators. I bet you ain't even a 5 watt.

Now, lissen up, and listen up good, buster. You are upsettin' those who are near and dear to me. I don't tolerate that. Capiche?

If I was you, I would just shut up and quit now while I was ahead. You copy? You readin' me loud and clear? I hope so. I would hate to have to waste some of my valuable time stompin' on a paper bag fulla shit, but if I have to come down to San Diego and do that, I will.

- Chongo


31 Dec 09 - 04:09 PM (#2800358)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Bobert

Danged... Maybe Chongz got some cat DNA 'cause he's got more lives that a hoppy frog has warts...

Well, if that is the case then I retract my last statement about "the monley beginnin' to grow on me"... I jus' said it 'casue, ahhhhhh, I....... Ahhhhhhh, danged if I know why I said it??? The little weizel cost me a shot at the White House and run Skivz life into the crapper... Ahhhhhh, bad word...


31 Dec 09 - 04:11 PM (#2800360)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Amos

Chicago Cops Tracing False Messages from Imitators of Fallen Primate

In the wake of the tragic death of Chongo Chimp, one of America's best-known and best-beloved private dicks, a flurry of wannabe imitators have started pretending to be Mr Chimp himsel;f, sending thinly-disguised counterfeit messages from masked computers. According to FBI Senior Investigator, this pattern is typical when a famous person passes on unexpectedly. "It's kinda like denial or something," said Gilbert Presshamm, of the Illinois headquarters of the FBI. "People can't accept it so they make uyp stuff. But we take these imitators very seriously and I can promise them we will find them and correct their behavior for them." According to sources inside the FBI, some of the fraudulent postings came from as far away as Ontario. Mister Presshamm did not comment on how the FBI handles fraudulent messages received from outside the country, except to remark, "We are very well connected with the Mounties and other law enforcement agencies in Canada."

Chimp was unexpectedly killed in the line of duty by an improvised explosive device while tracking a felon into the slums of Kandahar, Afghanistan. His sole surviving relative, a sister, Miss Chinga Chimp, declined to provide any comments for this article.

New York Post, Thursday, December 31, 2009


31 Dec 09 - 04:16 PM (#2800363)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: olddude

Are ya gonna share some shine with Chongo there Bobster?
I hear tell he loves it with banana skins on the side


31 Dec 09 - 04:24 PM (#2800367)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Ed T

Chimp Chump best business idea of 2009:
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=5


31 Dec 09 - 04:29 PM (#2800373)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Little Hawk

LOL! Love that "trunk monkey"! (even if it is a specist term)

Amos should take heed of what happened to the guy who tried to steal the car.


01 Jan 10 - 09:16 AM (#2800745)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Bobert

No, Oldster, the only thing I wanta share with Chongz is a oneway bus ticket back to the danged zoo... Shine too hard to come by...


01 Jan 10 - 11:01 AM (#2800782)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Amos

Easy to say he wasn't in Afghanistan. Anyone can say anything!

On the other hand, safe behind the wire in the largest American base in-country, he was seen competing with a Navy Seal during training exercises before going out on his fateful excursion.


01 Jan 10 - 11:09 AM (#2800787)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Rapparee

"...faceful excursion"?!?!!??

What happened? He get hit in the face by a pie or something?


01 Jan 10 - 01:15 PM (#2800861)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Little Hawk

Deep Doo-Doo (codename for Amos) is spreading disinformation in an attempt to derail Chongo's 2012 race for the presidency, Rapaire. Pay no attention.

That isn't Chongo in the video with the navy seal. Chongo would have left that guy in the dust.


01 Jan 10 - 02:16 PM (#2800891)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Amos

Obama Extends Honors to Famous Chimp

Washington, January 1, 2010 (API) President Barack Obama, at the prompting of a corps of Marines deployed in Afghanistan, broke with tradition and extended limited military honors to Chongo Chimp, a colorful and famous Chicago resident and private investigator who was killed in Afghanistan this week when his hitch-hiked ride went over a culvert and caught an IED outside Kandahar. Although refusing to award Mr Chimp the Purple Heart, Obama gave orders for his remains to be returned using military transport, in a flag-draped coffin. The remains will then be forwarded to Chimp's sole surviving relative, a madame in Milwaukee known as Chinga Chimp, who also has business interests in Detroit and Chicago. The President said, "Sometimes, the government has to be attentive to individual drama. Besides, the chimp was from Chicago." Miss Chinga Chimp was not available for comment.


01 Jan 10 - 03:04 PM (#2800924)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Rapparee

Draped in a white flag, I assume.


01 Jan 10 - 03:51 PM (#2800950)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

Har! Har! This is gettin' good. Maybe I can claim death benefits. Really...I am amazed what ridiculous lengths the Democrats are willin' to go to to see that I don't run in 2012. Obama is clearly terrified by what might happen if I do. What a wimp! Well, I'm hopin' they have a fullscale state funeral for "me" and I will attend it. I'll even put a buncha flowers by the coffin. Har! Har! Har! Man, I am rollin' in the aisles here. I have told Renata not to get ticked off about alla this phony hoopla. It's dynamite promotion if you ask me. We could not have planned it better ourselves.

Just wait...."Back From The Dead!!!" is what the headlines will scream. Hoo boy!

I got a bettin' pool goin' with the guys at Alfie's to see how long the administration will carry on this nonsense before admittin' that they got the wrong chimp.

- Chongo


01 Jan 10 - 04:38 PM (#2800978)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Amos

Multiple Personality Disorder in Social Contexts, Scientific Primate Journal, January, 2010, Gung and Hoe, 12 pp.

Abstract: We examine the generation of false identities borrowed from the personae of deceased celebrities and examine the disorders in individuals who pose as those celebrities in an effort to gather attention, admiration, or sexual advantage.

(For the complete text of this reference article, enter your subscriber information. To purchase a single article, register below. Individual articles are $49.50. To subscribe to the journal register for your subscription below. Institutional subscriptions $250/yr. Individual subscriptions $180/yr.)


01 Jan 10 - 05:02 PM (#2800993)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

Yeah, yeah....and then you got the disorders in individuals who pose as relatives of celebrities in an effort to gather attention, admiration, or sexual advantage.

Example 1: Numerous individuals have posed as relatives or associates of Bob Dylan, claiming to be his brother, sister, cousin, agent, etc. Why? Usually they are seeking attention, admiration, and sexual advantage.

Example 2: You got people pretendin' to be related to Obama for the same reasons as noted above.

Example 3: And the most glarin' case of all! A notorious disease-carryin' chimp proskirt named Chinga has been posin' for the last couple of years as the longlost sister of a famous private eye from Chicago...namely Yours Truly, me. She got her surname changed to "Chimp" to bolster the illusion. Her real original surname was "la Madre". This Chinga la Madre character came up from Mexico where she had been workin' the streets and dealin' drugs. She got wind of a shady agent of the Obama administration who goes by the codename: Deep Doo-Doo. We know him as "Amos", but he got that changed too. His real original name is "Anos", an unusual name unless you are related to deviant vivisectionist Bulgarian necrophiliacs from the mountainous Bumfak region, many of whom have adopted that name in bravado. Their intention is to offend, and they usually do. So, Deep Doo-Doo offered her big bucks from the Democratic Party warchest to slander the name of Chongo Chimp. Idiots! She'd've willingly done it for five dollars! With the money gained from her slanderous activities, Chinga la Madre, alias Chinga Chimp, has set up a string of cathouses from Milwaukee to Chicago. Funds from those illicit operations are bein' used to finance crooked electioneering and drug running by the Democrats in a number of Congressional ridings, and that's not all. Chinga has also been workin' for the Republicans...the other half of the specist megalopoly that runs Washington and wants to keep a chimp out of the White House. Chinga doesn't care who she betrays in her lust for money and fame. She would sell her own mother for bingo money...if she knew who her mother was.

Why did Chinga do it? Easy. She did it in an effort to gather attention, admiration, and sexual advantage. Heh! :-D Oh, and money, of course...

Lotsa money.

- Chongo


01 Jan 10 - 05:17 PM (#2801002)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Amos

For supplementary information on transactional disorders in social matrices, see the interesting study done at the University of Chicago on Conspiracies and Other Fabrications as a Function of Low Self-Esteem or Traumatic Denial, Schwartzkopf and Pamplemoouse, November 1987.


01 Jan 10 - 05:21 PM (#2801005)
Subject: RE: BS: Chongo caught in blatant.......
From: Little Hawk

That's where I always go when I am in need of accurate, insightful, and timely information. Schwartzkopf and Pamplemoouse. ;-) Yessirree. Weren't they they guys who supplied Bush the conclusive info on the WMDs in Iraq?