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Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)

03 Jan 10 - 09:52 PM (#2802617)
Subject: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Little Hawk

I had the great good fortune to see a dynamite public performance by the great Soho street singer, Howling Eddie Cranshaw last weekend, and he did this song, one of the finer protest songs I've ever heard, because it has such a universal appeal. After all, who can put up with scum? Who, I ask you? Most people simply can't bear scum. I can't tolerate them! Can anyone? Howling Eddie nails scum appropriately to the wall (and that's not easy!) in this inspired and subtly understated lyric:

Scum are Scum! ( a mild protest song)

I play in all the street fairs
I fiddle and I hum
With my gitbox and fiddle
Which clearly pleases some
It pleases all the old folk
And it pleases homeless bums
But the ones it doesn't please
Are the fecking, bloody scum!

Because scum are only scum
They're ugly and they're daft
They know they're only scum
Without artistic craft
They're rotten stinking bleeders
Who all should get the shaft!
Yes, scum are rotten scum
They're rotten fecking scum
Let's sink them in the Channel
And provide no bloody raft!

Scum are fecking losers
Scum are stupid sods
If I could get me hands on them
I'd give 'em all the rod
I'd punch their ugly faces
I'd call 'em nasty names
I'd tell 'em all to go to hell
I'd set 'em all aflame

Because scum are only scum
They're ugly and they're daft
They know they're only scum
Without artistic craft
They're rotten stinking bleeders
Who all should get the shaft!
Yes, scum are rotten scum
They're rotten fecking scum
Let's sink them in the Channel
And provide no bloody raft!

Scum are stupid useless gits
Scum are bloody fools
They stand on other people's toes
They break Queensbury's rules
They will not share a bit of bread
They don't respect the poor
They eat in fancy restaurants
And act like bloody boors

Because scum are only scum
They're ugly and they're daft
They know they're only scum
Without artistic craft
They're rotten stinking bleeders
Who all should get the shaft!
Yes, scum are rotten scum
They're rotten fecking scum
Let's sink them in the Channel
And provide no bloody raft!

Don't dare to come around near me
If you're a bleedin' scum
For if you do I'll take my shoe
And plant it in your bum!
You might think that I'm helpless
You'll find I'm bloody not!
I'll box your ears and black your eyes
You rotten scummy sot!

Because scum are only scum
They're ugly and they're daft
They know they're only scum
Without artistic craft
They're rotten stinking bleeders
Who all should get the shaft!
Yes, scum are rotten scum
They're rotten fecking scum
Let's sink them in the Channel
And provide no bloody raft!

I wish these rotten scum would die
And leave good folks alone
They poison every public place
'Cause they're got hearts of stone
Their lifestyle is contemptible
Their manners are obscene
They've all got little beady eyes
And their tongues are coated green!

Yes, scum are only scum
They're ugly and they're daft
They know they're only scum
Without artistic craft
They're rotten stinking bleeders
Who all should get the shaft!
Yes, scum are rotten scum
They're rotten fecking scum
Let's sink them in the Channel
And provide no bloody raft!

Howling Eddie Cranshaw, Folkways of East Anglia 2009


03 Jan 10 - 10:05 PM (#2802627)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Smokey.

We aren't all like that, you know. Some of us were just born scum through no fault of our own. Frankly, I find your song highly offensive.


03 Jan 10 - 10:07 PM (#2802631)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Little Hawk

LOL! (the storm begins...)

You wouldn't say that, Smokey, if you were fully aware of how I have suffered at the hands of scum.


03 Jan 10 - 10:17 PM (#2802637)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Smokey.

That's nothing but pathetic, whimpering self pity, Little Hawk. I'm proud to be scum - my family hid behind King Harold at the battle of Hastings.


03 Jan 10 - 10:22 PM (#2802640)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Little Hawk

Why you rotten scum! I might have guessed as much. My ancestors perished heroically under the Norman lances while you vile scum were hiding in the bushes! I bet you wear plaid socks, don't you? Just admit it...


03 Jan 10 - 10:23 PM (#2802641)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Smokey.

I've just eaten a kitten.


03 Jan 10 - 10:28 PM (#2802643)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST,999

I think the author of that song should be torn to pieces. At minimum, a hanging followed by both arms and both legs being tied to four horses which ride madly off in all directions. THEN, he should be punished, without mercy. After that, a public flogging. And if he doesn't relent, may he be dismissed and spurned by all and sundry.


Years back I wrote a 'protest' song that had the following lyrics:

Step down the air raid siren says
Don't walk in the rain
It's true they fought their battles
Where the graveyards remain
And now machine guns testify
That Hitler's back again
Washington you know his footsteps
What he's done is change his name
And perhaps go more insane

Mother Mary have forgiveness
The church has got you taking sides
Your son was killed for silver
It's the same when soldiers die
I refuse to sell myself
Into illicit enterprise
They sanction war with killers' pride
War's just murder undisguised

Traitors govern us
They're inventing
Lies to hide their vicious smiles
From Holy Mary
Representing
Every virgin with a child


Had a guy in NYC offer to fight me over likening the Pres of the US to Hitler. He didn't ask me twice because I said OK first time and then he didn't want to. Apropos of nothing.

The flogging should take place using at least six or seven strands of razor wire and lots of vinegar to throw on the author's back as the blood begins to flow. The beheading--did I mention that yet?--MUST take place in a public square so that we can get good pictures to show other songwriters what will happen to them if they dare express an opinion that doesn't jibe with the way WE see the world.

I am speaking on behalf of the SILENT MORAL MAJORITY.

I feel better now.


03 Jan 10 - 10:29 PM (#2802644)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: olddude

OMG   ... Little Hawk, even scum have mothers, even scum have souls
have you no heart man ... ya can't just generalize scum, some are by birth, some are made by smokin ... some find their own scum in the bathroom shower ...   some grows on ponds ... some are banjo players .... my gosh LOL


03 Jan 10 - 10:33 PM (#2802648)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Smokey.

Now see what you've done, LH. Don't mess with lunatic scum. Tsk.. vinegar? What's wrong with paint stripper?

Anybody want half a kitten?


03 Jan 10 - 10:36 PM (#2802650)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Smokey.

Smokin', Old dude? I was BORN SCUM I'll have you know. I smoke BECAUSE I'm scum. You can't make character like this just with bad habits.


03 Jan 10 - 10:38 PM (#2802652)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge

Well, well. I see that some disgruntled soul out there has written a song about my "dear" husband, Winston...

- PR


03 Jan 10 - 10:38 PM (#2802653)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST,999

Which half?


03 Jan 10 - 10:40 PM (#2802654)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Jeri

They're rotten fecking scum
Let's sink them in the Channel


That just blew it all to hell, didn't it? I was sitting here getting into it (great tune) and then came this little paradox. Scum FLOATS. It's, you know, a defining characteristic of scum.

I feel so betrayed...


03 Jan 10 - 10:40 PM (#2802655)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge

True, Smokey. Character is born, not made. We Rutledges have always known that. One must never forget where one comes from.

* PR


03 Jan 10 - 10:41 PM (#2802657)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST,999

No offense to anyone, but we all come from the GREAT ONENESS.


03 Jan 10 - 10:43 PM (#2802659)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: olddude

smokey I am a converted scum a work in progress, I had to work at it my friend, i envy those who got it by birth


03 Jan 10 - 10:47 PM (#2802662)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST,Howling Eddie Cranshaw

Bloody 'ell, Jeri! Don't get all "literal" with me about me poetic symbology in me song lyrics. It's a song. I am not a fecking accountant! I deal in me'taphor and sub'tle allusion, I do, and that's why Billy Bragg studies all me work so closely. It's not loik I was writin' a bleedin' grocery list, you know. The kind of scum wot I'm referrin' to in me song does NOT float terribly well at all, and if they do, well...they bloody well float fyce DOWN! So there.


03 Jan 10 - 10:54 PM (#2802666)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST,999

Well, HEC, you picked the wrong place to post a song.

My family was also at the Battle of Hastings. In fact, one of my far-back ancestors told Harold to look out. Harold did. My Uncle Freddy--ninety-eight times removed is shown here--telling Harold to look out. The idiot looked out and see what happened?


03 Jan 10 - 10:56 PM (#2802667)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Smokey.

"Which half?"

It's kind of in bits, I'm afraid, I got a little excited.

Olddude, don't lose heart - we all have to work at it. I do try not to brag about my advantaged background - I'm sorry it might have looked that way. No I'm not.

Anyway, I'm off to blow dope smoke over the baby.


03 Jan 10 - 11:01 PM (#2802670)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: olddude

Floatin Fyce down, ah .. you are talking about Mississippi Billy Ray Bobbie lookin in the water for where the rev-e-newers threw the still. He is from a long line of shine scum. He rite the blues song, shine on shine on harvest scum


03 Jan 10 - 11:09 PM (#2802674)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Little Hawk

I think it is only fair to point out that not all scum floats. Have you ever looked at the bottom of a pond or for that matter, the bottom of the Thames? And what do you find down there? Scum! An incredible amount of it too. If it floated, it wouldn't be on the bottom, now, would it? Ha! Got you there!

I rest my case. Most scum does not float.

In fact...only the aristocratic scum that can't get along with all the other common scum floats, and the aristocratic scum then hogs all the attention by floating to the top so that people think it's the only scum there is, but that's just not true! Common scum outnumber aristocratic scum by at least 10,000 to 1.


03 Jan 10 - 11:11 PM (#2802675)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Effsee

Oh this one will run and run!


03 Jan 10 - 11:15 PM (#2802679)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: olddude

I got scum growing on my wall
it don't bother me at all
smokin cigarettes and watching captain kangaroo
now don't tell me
Got nothing to do ...


03 Jan 10 - 11:17 PM (#2802681)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST,999

Shouldn't the title be "Scum IS Scum". Sorry for the thread deviation. Let's get back to slagging the author of the song.


03 Jan 10 - 11:22 PM (#2802682)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Jeri

LH, that's not 'scum', that's 'slime'. The main way you can tell scum from slime is that SCUM FLOATS!.

(I keep hearing 'scum floats' to the tune of 'Love Hurts', but I don't have the attention span at the moment. Something like, 'Scum floats, it's true, that's what, scum do...' Could be a hit.)


03 Jan 10 - 11:29 PM (#2802685)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: olddude

Forgot what I was going to say, was helping Smokey put shine in the baby's bottle. Only the good stuff, we are Not white trash kinda scum only regular scum


03 Jan 10 - 11:39 PM (#2802691)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: olddude

YOU MAYBE REDNECK SCUM IF WHEN SMOKIN

A full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of improvement.

After making love, you ask your date to roll down the window.

After your dog passed gas, you claimed it.

All of your four-letter words are two syllables.

An expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash.

Bikers back down from your momma.

Birds are attracted to your beard.

Directions to your house include "turn off the paved road."

During your senior year you and your mother had home room together.

Every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.

Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.


03 Jan 10 - 11:40 PM (#2802694)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Little Hawk

You argue like a Republican corporate lawyer in the employ of the Rand Corporation, Jeri. ;-) Consider contacting Karl Rove. He needs people like you.


04 Jan 10 - 12:04 AM (#2802700)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: katlaughing

Haven't you ever wondered why there is a soap scum ring in your tub. Scum FLOATS, of course it does, even if the soap doesn't!

Out here we have the great horned scum-sucker. Its horn curls down in front of its face and functions much like an elephant's trunk. They are known for frequenting filthy ponds, swamps and swill-flinging bars of ill repute where they suck it all up without discretion. Where would we be without the scum-suckers? Awash, I say, awash in scum!


04 Jan 10 - 12:18 AM (#2802706)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Little Hawk

That's a disturbing thought, all right.


04 Jan 10 - 01:48 AM (#2802733)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Smokey.

No offense to anyone, but we all come from the GREAT ONENESS.

Sorry 999, if indeed that is your real name, but I couldn't let that pass. It's introducing bigotted rubbish like that which prevents sensible discussion around here. It was nothing but a deliberate attempt to detract from the issues in hand. Could we please stick to the subject of the thread? Honestly, it's like being in a playground sometimes.


04 Jan 10 - 01:51 AM (#2802734)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST,999

OK. I stand corrected. So, uh, how many pieces of kitten do you have left?


04 Jan 10 - 03:14 AM (#2802758)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Dave Roberts

I'm irresistibly drawn to this thread like a moth to a flame. Try as I might I can't stop looking at it.
Put it down to feeble-mindedness and not having a mind of one's own.
I'll bet there's a lot more to this song than we think.
Personally I like it, and think it's one of the best songs in the history of the universe, ever.
Probably it has the power to shape minds, to topple governments and to bring about Peace on Earth.
And it is in the tradition of all good Scum songs.
One thinks of 'Oh Scum All Ye Faithfull', 'Scum Into The Garden Maude' and, my personal favourite, 'Scummer Is A'scummin' In'.


04 Jan 10 - 06:16 AM (#2802827)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Tim Leaning

Hey this is blasphemous!
Scum are the chosen of the lord.
After all he is all knowing and he did send a flood .
Scum Floats.


04 Jan 10 - 06:58 AM (#2802848)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Dave Roberts

Sorry everyone. I've decided that this thread shouldn't be here. It's taking up valuable bandwidth which could more usefully be given over to discussing just how great Rambling Syd Rumpo was and deciding whether or not the word 'bodrhan' is too long and ought to be shortened.
Anyone who disagrees is sc...

...let's not go there.


04 Jan 10 - 08:13 AM (#2802892)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Phil Edwards

That reminds me...

I like most people - most people are OK
The average person is really not so bad
But among the people you meet along the way
There are always one or two who drive you mad

Whether they're talking in the cinema or yelling down the phone
Or telling you their life story when you'd rather be left alone
And I hate people who never open their mouth except to bitch and moan
I bet I'm not alone.

I like most people - except for hypocrites and snobs,
Tax inspectors and people from Personnel,
Conservative voters, and thugs and spivs and yobs -
Apart from that most people suit me well

Except for the ones who're always criticising and telling me what to do,
The ones whose every other sentence begins with the words If I were you
And I hate people who never buy a round and people who jump the queue
I bet you hate them too.

I like most people - though it's sometimes hard to do:
When you get to know them most people aren't that good.
I've got high standards - I'll lower them for you,
If you can give me one good reason why I should.

And I hate people who psychoanalyse and say they "understand" -
If it was up to me there wouldn't be a therapist in the land -
I just want half the world to leave me alone and the other half to be banned
Is that so much to demand?

I like most people - most people are really sweet...
It's just a shame about the ones I have to meet.


04 Jan 10 - 08:44 AM (#2802916)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Charley Noble

What a terrifying thread to access so ear-lye in the morning!

Sip of coffee spewed (spawed?) all over screen and keyboard.

Thanks a lot, gang.

Charley Noble


04 Jan 10 - 10:51 AM (#2802996)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: olddude

I disagree Dave on the bandwidth, Howling Eddie Cranshaw is one of the great folk scum artists of the century so this does belong here in this music thread cause he sang his great classic Scum are Scum. No one did it better than the original artist. I remember once when Dolly tried to sing it, now as much as I admire Dolly it just wasn't the same.


04 Jan 10 - 10:57 AM (#2803002)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: robomatic

PENCIL NECK GEEK
(Pete Cicero / Martin Margulies)

Freddie Blassie



Back when I was a kid, life was going swell.
Till something happened, blew every thing to hell.
That night my daddy stumbled in, all pale and weak,
Said "A woman up the block just gave birth to a geek."

Mom said, "Sell it to the circus, what the heck."
Dad said, "Nope, this one's a pencil neck.
And if there's one thing lower than a side show freak,
It's a grit eatin', scum suckin', pencil neck geek."

You see if you take a pencil that won't hold lead,
Looks like a pipe cleaner attached to a head,
Add a buggy whip body with a brain that leaks,
You got yourself a grit eatin', pencil neck geek.

(chorus)
Pencil neck geek, grit eatin' freak,
scum suckin', pea head with a lousy physique.
He's a one man, no gut, loosing streak.
Nothin' but a pencil neck geek.

Soon the geeks were poppin' up all over town.   
You couldn't hardly sneeze without knockin' one down.
After a nice juicy steak, if you need a toothpick,
Just reach for a geek, they'll do the trick.

One day we cut one up for fish bait.
Learned our lesson just a little bit late.
Soon as the geek hit the drink, the water turned red.
Next day, sure enough, all the fish were dead.

chorus

Most any night you know where I can be found.
Yeah, stomping some geek's head into the ground.
So keep the faith 'cause in Blassie you can trust,
I won't give up 'til the last geek bites the dust.

chorus

They say, "these geeks come a dime a dozen."
I'm lookin' for the guy who's supplin' the dimes.
Its gonna be real hard times for all of these
grit eatin',
scum suckin',
boot lickin',
drop kickin',
gut grindin',
nail bitin',
glue sniffin',
scab pickin',
butt scratchin',
egg hatchin',
sleezy,
smelly,
pepper bellied,
dirty, lousy, rotten, stinkin', freaks.
Nothing but a pencil neck geek.

Pencil neck geek.
Pencil neck geek.
Pencil neck geek.



(And don't even get me started on mule skinners!)


04 Jan 10 - 11:20 AM (#2803019)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: olddude

robo
sniff sniff, brought tears to me eyes. sooo beautiful sniff sniff


04 Jan 10 - 11:38 AM (#2803033)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Dave Roberts

olddude,

On reflection, I think you're right. Scum is far too important an issue not to be discussed here.

Was it Howling Eddie who wrote that great song about the joy he felt when a parcel he'd been expecting finally arrived?

Now, what was it called?

Ah yes,

Scum.


04 Jan 10 - 11:42 AM (#2803037)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Little Hawk

That's an impressive lyric, allright. It's songs like these that bring folks together and lead us all toward establishing the sort of brotherhood on this planet that people like Pete Seeger have long pleaded for in song.

Yes, I feel new hope arising in my breast upon hearing that song. Either that...or it might be heartburn? Hmmm.

I specially like the bridge:

"grit eatin',
scum suckin',
boot lickin',
drop kickin',
gut grindin',
nail bitin',
glue sniffin',
scab pickin',
butt scratchin',
egg hatchin',
sleezy,
smelly,
pepper bellied,"

Very expressive and inspiring! Even Dylan would be impressed.

I wish, though, that it were a bit more...well...Cranshawesque. No one can say it quite like Howling Eddie can, in my opinion.


04 Jan 10 - 11:47 AM (#2803040)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST,snoutcast

She'll be scummin' round the mountain when she scums
Here comes the scum


04 Jan 10 - 11:53 AM (#2803047)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Dave Roberts

And then there was the old 60s hit

'Scummy scummy scummy
I've got love in my tummy'.

It's amazing how many scum songs there are really.

In my day....


04 Jan 10 - 11:54 AM (#2803048)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Little Hawk

Wise men say...
Only scum floats in...
And I can't help scumming around with you...

Shall I stay?
Would it be a sin?
If I can't help scumming around with you...

Like a gutter flows...
Surely to a bog...
Darling, so it goes...
We were meant to snog...

Take my hand...
No one else will do...
Cos I can't help scumming around with you...


04 Jan 10 - 11:59 AM (#2803058)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST

Excellent, Little Hawk!!!


04 Jan 10 - 01:49 PM (#2803165)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Charley Noble

Actually songs about scum have ancient folk song roots:

Scum is a-coming in,
Loudly sing, cuckoo!
Groweth seed and bloweth mead,
And springeth wood anew.
Sing, cuckoo!
Sing, cuckoo!
Sing, cuckoo!
Sing, cuckoo!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


04 Jan 10 - 02:00 PM (#2803187)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: katlaughing

Then there's that old standard:

Scum where over the rainbow..btw, have you heard about the new Geo. Lucas film? Scum Wars!


04 Jan 10 - 02:18 PM (#2803205)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Dave Roberts

Little Hawk,

Excellent indeed, but can I suggest an alternative for the bridge part?

Like a gutter flows,
When you've had a pee,
Darling so it goes,
Scum things are meant to be...

Only a suggestion, you understand, but I think the phrase 'Scum things are meant to be..' resonates so much.

It could almost be a summing-up of the entire Philosophy Of Scum.

And I think it's what Elvis would have wanted.


04 Jan 10 - 02:53 PM (#2803235)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Dave Roberts

Damn! Almost missed one...

...'It could almost be a scumming up of the entire Philosophy Of Scum'.

Phew! That was close...

In my day...


04 Jan 10 - 05:18 PM (#2803412)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Little Hawk

An inspired suggestion, Dave. Perhaps we could have alternate versions for alternate occasions?


04 Jan 10 - 05:54 PM (#2803448)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Dave Roberts

Yes indeed.

On a related subject, does anyone have the words to that ancient
Californian/Cockney song 'Any Old Irony'?


04 Jan 10 - 06:02 PM (#2803450)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Smokey.

OK. I stand corrected. So, uh, how many pieces of kitten do you have left? (999)

Only the feet I'm afraid, but they're very good for the brain. Hence the old saying, "Paws for thought". I apologise for my previous outburst, 9, if I may call you that - I thought you were discriminating against pantheists, and my great uncle Norbert on my mother's side was a pantheist. (He went to college) Besides, I'm an attention seeking twat.

Y'know, this thread has warmed the cockles of me heart, and believe me, it's not often I even have tepid ones these days.


04 Jan 10 - 06:04 PM (#2803452)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST,999

At the vanguard of a juddering caravan,
hurriedly galloping down a dirt-track.
Six furtive figures, crooked as Caliban;
Smuggling hope to the land of the claque.

Weary, hoarse-riders; irksomely blistered.
Spent from a decade a-roving the road.
Frigging a jig for our brothers and sisters;
Stark-raving-madrigals by the cartload.

Without trepidation I sing in laudation;
Vocal salute to all travelling tinkers.
Vagabond nation joined in congregation.
United free-thinkers cry from the bryony;

"Any old irony?!"

Chorus:
Come one, come all to our travelling circus;
Cast-off your cares for the painted parade.
Whirl down the wynd like dervish-berserkers;
If life hands us lemons; we'll make lemonade.

Maybe Jay's smashed (?), drumming up passion;
Scarring forever with each brisk tattoo
Bean's in the place so bass is in fashion,
killing us all with his amp set on 2.

Watch out for Ridley The Raucously Tiddly,
Unplugged he's no Dr. Jekyll....so Hyde!
Desperate-Dan-Ramsey; deft fingers diddle.
Watching The Match on a telly stage-side.

The cat on the fiddle, Miss Georgie Biddle;
Keeping it reeling with her fugue electric.
Stuck in the middle I'll rhyme you a riddle;
Irate and eclectic my cry from the bryony;

"Any old irony?!"

Chorus:
Come one, come all to our travelling circus;
Cast-off your cares for the painted parade.
Whirl down the wynd like dervish-berserkers;
If life hands us lemons; we'll make lemonade


04 Jan 10 - 06:07 PM (#2803454)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: robomatic

that last one i'd like to learn

tune? (I'm too dense to recognize if it scans like something I should know)


04 Jan 10 - 06:15 PM (#2803460)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST,999

Robo: go to YOUTUBE

You can hear it there. Search

"any old irony"

in the quotation marks. It's a take-off on a song entitled "Any Old Iron".


04 Jan 10 - 06:50 PM (#2803486)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Smokey.

"Fat Old Scum"
"Set the Controls for the Heart of the Scum"
"The Scum aint Gonna Whine Any More"


04 Jan 10 - 07:52 PM (#2803528)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST,999

WELL. You're back at last from eating pussy, huh, Smokey?

Had it been declawed or does a guy use them to pick his teeth?


04 Jan 10 - 08:25 PM (#2803552)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Charley Noble

9's-

Thanks for posting "any old irony."

It's simply magnificent.

Charley Noble


04 Jan 10 - 08:26 PM (#2803554)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Smokey.

Puh.. 'round here we just eats 'em. The younger the better.


04 Jan 10 - 08:39 PM (#2803563)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST,999

Charley, thank you for your kind words. They are encouraging and I've noticed that a few other times. It's a big help when the searches sometimes take hours. I appreciate you doing that.


05 Jan 10 - 03:00 AM (#2803694)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Dave Roberts

I think it's only the title that parodies 'Any Old Iron', and there the resemblance ends.
I was reminded of the song by the recent discussions on Mudcat about what constitutes irony and what doesn't - a 'how long is a piece of string' argument if ever there was one.

I love this song, though. We're partial to a bit of Folk Rock in these parts.

There used to be a fine band called 'Tower Struck Down' in the Crewe/Nantwich area a few years ago.

A bit 'punkier' than Skyclad, if you see what I mean, but great fun.

I haven't heard of them in ages, so I assume they've disappeared.

It may be slightly too early to designate 2010 the Year Of The Scum, but I'm loving the classic Scum song titles.

Keep 'em scumming.


05 Jan 10 - 02:55 PM (#2804199)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Janie

Actually, 999, I think we all come from the great SCUMNESS.


05 Jan 10 - 04:13 PM (#2804253)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Little Hawk

"From scum ye came and to scum ye shall return." So Saith The Lord!


05 Jan 10 - 08:16 PM (#2804436)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Charley Noble

Scum all you faithful!

Nay, the Christmas holiday season is long past, unless you are of the Orthodox persuasion.

Charley Noble


05 Jan 10 - 11:28 PM (#2804506)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Janie

Scum floats. Cream floats. It follows that cream is scum. So...skim the scum from the top and what you have is the cream of the crop!


06 Jan 10 - 12:05 AM (#2804521)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Smokey.

Scream and cum.
Sorry.


06 Jan 10 - 12:45 AM (#2804528)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST,999

"I think it's only the title that parodies 'Any Old Iron', and there the resemblance ends."

Thanks, Dave. I've never heard "Any Old Iron". I appreciate the info.


06 Jan 10 - 01:22 AM (#2804542)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Smokey.

'ere, me owd china.


06 Jan 10 - 03:12 AM (#2804576)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Dave Roberts

That's torn it. Now I can't decide which I like best.

I like 'Any Old Iron', but then again I like 'Any Old Irony'.

But which is best?

There's only one way to find out...

(Note: The meaning of this will be lost on most non-UK readers. And a lot of UK readers too, I'll be bound. But I'm not explaining it because when you have to explain a joke, it isn't funny.
Besides, there's too much explaining goes on these days. I long for the days when nothing was ever explained to anyone. My schooldays were like that).


06 Jan 10 - 06:36 PM (#2805279)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Smokey.

Aye, them were the days.. and we got free milk.


08 Jan 10 - 06:29 PM (#2807039)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Jim Dixon

It should be "Queensberry's," not "Queensbury's."


08 Jan 10 - 07:07 PM (#2807071)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Dave Roberts

Jim.

Sorry?


08 Jan 10 - 09:10 PM (#2807137)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Little Hawk

Good heavens! Did Howling Eddie mispell a word? I'll have to contact him about that.


09 Jan 10 - 02:26 AM (#2807270)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST,999

It should be misspell, not mispell. But you knew that, wright?


09 Jan 10 - 06:09 AM (#2807347)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Dave Roberts

Oh, right! I scoured the entire thread for 'Queensbury', and looked everywhere but in the actual song. Tsk!
But perhaps its all in the performance? Maybe Eddie has a way of putting over 'Queensbury' so that it sounds like 'Queensberry'?
People have been known to do this, after all, with entire songs, turning
a nasty and offensive song into a masterpiece of satire and...er...irony.
Or so I'm told.


09 Jan 10 - 08:41 PM (#2807931)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: Smokey.

And not just any old irony either..


19 Oct 11 - 04:31 PM (#3241517)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Scum are Scum! (a mild protest song)
From: GUEST

U mentioned Tower Struck Down in your thread - yeah they were a great band. Sadly Cal the singer passed away 14 th june 2011. A Tower website has been set up to remember all things tower - check it out you canb download all songs - towerstruckdown.com