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09 Feb 10 - 05:47 PM (#2834520) Subject: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Bobert Well, seein' as Snow-mageddon is upon us and Donuel has predicted that my roof will collapse on me and the P-Vine tonight durin' Blizzard #3 of the season I figurated that I might as well make ammends... So... First of all, I do loves all the Mudwomenz from the bottom of my poor ol' hillbilly heart... I mean, I loves 'um no matter what... I even loves the ones that has kicked my butt on occasion... (That's all of them, Bobz...) Now as for the Mudboyz??? Hmmmmmm??? The ones that I love know it but I must confess to not, ahhhhhh, lovin' all of 'um... Yeah, I know I should... Says "Love the sinner, not the sin" but, to be frank, some of the guys here just ain't all that lovable... Know what I mean... I mean, I ain't tryin' to mean 'er nuthin' but hard to love a jerk... But back to the Mudwomenz... I mean, even if it wasn't Valentines Day right around the corner it wouldn't matter 'cause if yer a Mudwomenz then I loves you and that's that, Valentines Day aside... Sniff... Bobert |
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09 Feb 10 - 05:49 PM (#2834524) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Little Hawk All of them??? Do their husbands know? |
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09 Feb 10 - 05:51 PM (#2834527) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: CarolC If you're worried about the roof collapsing, you could always sleep under the bed. Or you could go shovel the last two snow falls off of the roof before any more comes down. |
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09 Feb 10 - 06:10 PM (#2834549) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Amos Aw, Carol, don't be hard on the boy. He can't get his tractor up there... A |
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09 Feb 10 - 06:12 PM (#2834551) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Amergin Viagra would probably cure that, Amos.... |
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09 Feb 10 - 06:23 PM (#2834563) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Bobert Yeah, I put a little Viagra in the hydrauic oil one time... Couldn't get the bucket down fir two weeks... |
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09 Feb 10 - 06:25 PM (#2834566) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: SINSULL Thank you, Bobert. That is very sweet. SINS |
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09 Feb 10 - 06:27 PM (#2834571) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Bill D "Couldn't get the bucket down fir two weeks.." If you experience a bucket that stays up more than 4 weeks, call a mechanic. |
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09 Feb 10 - 06:28 PM (#2834572) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: gnu Sweet? The guy accused me a suckin up and bein a wimp and now this? Sweet as sour. |
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09 Feb 10 - 06:38 PM (#2834581) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: JennieG Bobert, you have made me all sniffly too.......would you like some of our Oz sunshine to melt the snow? It's summer here, we have a surplus of sun. Cheers JennieG |
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09 Feb 10 - 07:07 PM (#2834600) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: jacqui.c Ah Bobert - that really is lovely. You know we loves you too. |
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09 Feb 10 - 07:20 PM (#2834614) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: GUEST,leeneia So Bobert what you are trying to say is, you like your woman big. Mudcat woman only come in two sizes Large and Extra large. ;) |
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09 Feb 10 - 07:22 PM (#2834618) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: SINSULL Actually there are a few tiny ones but they pad their butts when Beau's around. |
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09 Feb 10 - 07:41 PM (#2834638) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Bobert Ahhhhhh, glad you brought it up, leeneia... Well, not exactly glad but it's okay... There's a place fir skinny womenz *butt* ya see, I'm a bluesman and there's somethin' about a full figured womanz that fits real groovey with the blues... Yezzir... *Butt* it don't matter... If you is a skinny Mudwomenz then I loves you, too... I sho nuff do an' don't want ya'll boney womenz to feel like you is some kinda freak show... No mam... The say the meat better closer to the bone... Never knew what that meant but I think it's about boney womenz... Now as fir me suckin' up??? Gn-zie is right in some respects... But it really ain't suckin' up as much as just bein' willin' to testify... I mean, I am ready to testify... Now that's could be suckin' up 'er not depending on ones motives... Mine is pure as the snow that Donuel says is gonna bury me tonight... That's all I wnated to say... Sniff... Yeah, Gennie-Gee... Bottle up some of that down-unner sunshine and send it up here... Ol' Boberdz feeelin' a little bluesy tonight... B~ |
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09 Feb 10 - 07:54 PM (#2834645) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: ragdall Bobert, That is very sweet. If your roof collapses let me know and I'll send my St. Bernard with a keg of Brandy. rags |
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09 Feb 10 - 08:04 PM (#2834656) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: GUEST,leeneia Fashion and show business is filled with a tiny unrepresentative sample of thin women with artificial breasts. The folkie world offers a variety of shapes and sizes and better, more beautiful real women. Women who have hips and thighs and feminine curves and couldn't care less what they wear. Most have natural breasts big enough to make ear muffs out of. Women with no fat are not attractive. Women with no fat only appeal to photographers and gay men looking for a female to model their clothes or whatever else they are selling. |
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09 Feb 10 - 08:43 PM (#2834691) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Bobert Yes, mam... Ifuly agree with that statement... Now the P-Vine, she ain't all the full figurated as many who have met her will attest to... She ain't Twiggy either... I mean, I loves the gal but she wouldn't make it in "Boberts Blues Band" either... Might of fact, I was a little disappointed this past Getaway... I mean, Janie ain't exactly full 'nuff herself... We gonna have to do better next year... I know that there is some Mudwomenz that got that thing goin' but they ain't showin'... That gotta change... I mean, last year we had some fine, fine fullness... But, hey, this ain't about big butted womenz... Like I said, if you is a Mudwomenz then ol' hillbilly loves you... Okay, you don't have to be a Mudwomenz... For a "limited time only" ol' hillbilly is gonna extend his love to family members of Mudwomenz... Ya' hear that, Mom??? B~ |
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09 Feb 10 - 11:16 PM (#2834745) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: maire-aine Thank you, Bobert. However you say, it comes out sounding sweet. Maryanne |
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10 Feb 10 - 01:15 PM (#2835148) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: JohnInKansas Or you could go shovel the last two snow falls off of the roof If you've got an access hole to your attic(s) just open up the hole and crank up the furnace. If you've got normal kinds of insulation, the snow on the roof should melt fairly rapidly, to run down and make ice dams in all the gutters. This may rip all the gutters off (possible taking some bits of roof along) but at least the big pieces won't squash you. Of course, if you've got a flat roof you may need to poke a small hole in the ceiling to let the melt water drain off. (I'm a bit surprised that you haven't already received a number of other John |
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10 Feb 10 - 02:14 PM (#2835228) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: VirginiaTam Good grief! I cannot believe you other womenz fell for this ploy! Bobert just wants us all to do a meditation focus on him. He is hoping that the warmth and energy we radiate in his direction will melt the snow on his roof, so he won't have to deal with it. tam ....... on the verge of fits o screamia..... |
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10 Feb 10 - 02:25 PM (#2835248) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Desert Dancer Tam, I s'pose suggesting you "chill out" would not be found helpful at this time... ~ Becky in Tucson, where it's snowing at 9000 feet (just outside town), but only preparing to rain down here at ~2500 feet. |
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10 Feb 10 - 02:29 PM (#2835255) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: SINSULL Re: the roof. I took gnu's suggestion a couple of years back and filled panti-hose with salt, then tossed them on the roof. Neighbors thought I was a mass murderer. Very weird. Even weirder when the snow melted and washed the half filled pantihose onto the proch. |
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10 Feb 10 - 02:37 PM (#2835265) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Amos Hair dryers, dude!! Round up a coupla hundred and fire 'em up every few feet along the gutter and the ridge. That ole snow will be gone in no time. Weather permitting, you can use solar panels to run...oh, never mind... A |
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10 Feb 10 - 03:27 PM (#2835330) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: VirginiaTam oh... alright... then I officially submit retraction of my last post and humbly beg Bobert's forgiveness. tam.... still thinking this thread is more about the problem of snow on Bobert's roof and not so much about his unwavering affections for mudwomen. |
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10 Feb 10 - 04:53 PM (#2835410) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: gnu SINS.... an "ice melter" of whatever. NOT "salt"... not sodium chloride. Calcium chloride... urea... whatever. The shops here carry many "concrete friendly" ice melters. Do NOT use "salt". It will eat the asphalt in yer shingles if you have asphaltic shingles. Of course, if you have to make a choice between using "salt" and getting water damage in your ceilings and walls.... |
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10 Feb 10 - 05:33 PM (#2835438) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Ebbie This made me laugh: Thought for the day: Women are Angels And when someone breaks our wings.... We simply continue to fly..........on a broomstick... We are flexible like that .... |
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10 Feb 10 - 05:40 PM (#2835444) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: JohnInKansas As to Boberts "motivation," he probably just read this article. He knows where he's at, and he's just hoping to get the womenz in synch. John |
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10 Feb 10 - 06:09 PM (#2835476) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: gnu John... "Men who reported feeling turned on tended to also sport an erection, while a matchup between the mind and body wasn't so consistent for women,..." Rather sporting of them? And, the study was at Queen's U. Which... I'll stop there. Youse read it... read in... |
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10 Feb 10 - 06:19 PM (#2835490) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Little Hawk Chongo has confided in me that male chimps may experience sexual arousal when perusing photos of a great many things. Some examples are: female chimps, female apes of several other closely related species, female humans (MAJOR spike on the graph!), lipstick applicators, feminine apparel, Victoria's Secret catalogs, fresh fruit, a nice scenic view, tall buildings, fast cars, pinstripe suits, a baseball stadium, a bottle of whiskey, a Cuban cigar, and a well-oiled gun... He says that his favorite Beatles song is "Happiness Is A Warm Gun". |
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10 Feb 10 - 06:42 PM (#2835518) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Bobert Well, danged... This thing ain't about sex, ya'll... It's about womenz... Yeah, okay, I like sex, too but this ain't about that.... It's about the way womenz is... Ya'll know what I mean, don't ya'??? Well, I do and that's all that counts... (Danged, Boberdz... Bunch of hoeney guys here, ain't there... Ya' can't even say ya loves someone without them thinkin' sex...) Yeah, seems that's 'bout right... But not me... I got the P-Vine fir sex and, ahhhhhh, that's 'bout all the sex I wants 'er needs... B~ |
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10 Feb 10 - 06:44 PM (#2835520) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Bobert That didn't come out right... I mean, I got the P-Vine fir lots of things other than sex, too... ('Bout stepped in it there, Boberdz...) Yeah, I did... B~ |
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10 Feb 10 - 06:45 PM (#2835521) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Little Hawk Chongo says he is right sorry about ruffling yer feathers there, Bobert, but he just kind of got off on another subject. You know how that can happen... |
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10 Feb 10 - 06:46 PM (#2835523) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: SINSULL Calcium chloride is what I used. I still looked like mass murderer with body parts on my roof and porch. Urea? Oh piss on it! |
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10 Feb 10 - 06:51 PM (#2835527) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: GUEST,leeneia We understand what you mean Bobert, slight case of "Foot in Mouth". At least we know where we stand with you, always the gent ;). Some guy from Reading added me on Facebook last weekend, next thing he sent me a message asking me did I own a suspender belt! |
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10 Feb 10 - 07:55 PM (#2835596) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: JohnInKansas gnu - Calcium chloride... urea... whatever. but don't throw calcium carbide on the roof, especially if it's wet. John |
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10 Feb 10 - 08:40 PM (#2835637) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Bobert Listen to John... Ahhhhh, nevermind... What does this have to do with lovin' the Mudwomenz, anyway... I demand a recount!!! B~ |
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10 Feb 10 - 08:50 PM (#2835642) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Genie Bobert, methinks mebbe ya needs to git up on thet thar roof an' play some hot blues to melt all thet cold white stuff. Butt thanks fer sayin' ya "do loves all the Mudwomenz from the bottom of my poor ol' hillbilly heart... I mean, I loves 'um no matter what... I even loves the ones that has kicked my butt on occasion." (Wonders to self: Mebbe he luvs those occasions even more?) As fer Janie not being big-bottomed enuf fer a true floozie, not to worry. I plan to make it to this year's Getaway and bring enough excess posterior amplitude to make up fer the skinny-butted gals like Janie and Dani. (Even when the rest o' me gets thin, the bottom doesn't follow suit very well). But we does appreciate yer bein' so magnanimous as to 'spress yer luv fer all us mudwomenz, regardless o' size or shape. That's very big o' yez. An' give our regards to the P-vine fer bein' willin' to share ('t least where mere 'preshiashun is concerned). Genie |
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10 Feb 10 - 09:06 PM (#2835651) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Amos Given that Chongo is a projection and extension, so to speak, of Little Hawk's psychic anatomy, it seems to me Little Hawk is confessing something here, but I am not sure what. I mean it's hard, what with the monkey business and all... |
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10 Feb 10 - 09:32 PM (#2835680) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: olddude I am so confused ... ah ah ... someone splain it LUCY |
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11 Feb 10 - 12:27 AM (#2835760) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Janie Beaubear, you is a beaubear. (but a bit of an idiot to keep consulting that wes ginny slide rule whats we womenz invented.) {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} to you and P-Vine from another hillbilly. |
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11 Feb 10 - 02:44 AM (#2835790) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: VirginiaTam I'm a big fat mamma. Got some meat shakin on my bones I'm a big fat mamma. Got some meat shakin on my bones And every time I start to shakin, some skinny girl loses her home. |
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11 Feb 10 - 08:25 AM (#2835998) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Bobert I love that song, Tamz... |
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11 Feb 10 - 08:41 AM (#2836017) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: SINSULL I thought only fiddlers were supposed to go the roof...fiddlers and pantihose. |
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11 Feb 10 - 05:41 PM (#2836579) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Amos Sound s like a song challenge: Pantyhose On the Roof... |
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11 Feb 10 - 07:47 PM (#2836686) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Bobert ...'er was that song "Panting on the Roof"??? |
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11 Feb 10 - 10:42 PM (#2836761) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Ebbie "panting on the roof"? That happens right after a close call. |
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11 Feb 10 - 11:30 PM (#2836774) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: frogprince Darn it, Ebbie, I know there's something really cute there that I'm too dense to get right now. |
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12 Feb 10 - 07:48 AM (#2836979) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Bobert No, it's all them grayhairs up on their roofs with snow shovels, f-prince... B~ |
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12 Feb 10 - 08:01 AM (#2836985) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: SINSULL With fiddles too? |
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12 Feb 10 - 08:10 AM (#2836990) Subject: RE: BS: I Loves All the Mudwomenz!!! From: Bobert Snow shoveles & Fiddles... Now there is a combination!!! Hey, wait... I've got a new idea... How about a snow shovel/fiddle??? Hmmmmm??? Few tuning heads on the handle end, a cigar box bolded to the shivelin' end and a bow and yer in business... So yer on yer way to a gig and it starts snowin' and yer car get stuck, right??? Just unbolt the cigar box, remove the strings and yer good to go... Yezzir... What time does the patent office open??? B~ |