Lyr ADD: If I Were the Marrying Kind (rugby song)

17 Mar 98 - 05:40 AM (#23955)
Subject: Marrying Kind
From: Rugger

I'm looking for more verses to this classic rugby song. If you know of any, could you post 'em? Thanks.

MARRYING KIND

If I was the marrying kind,
Which I thank the Lord I'm not sir,
The kind of man that I would be,
Would be a rugby...

Prop, sir!
Prop, sir? Why is that, sir?

Because I'd support a hooker,
And she'd support a hooker,
And we'd all support a hooker together,
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Supporting hookers together.

OTHER VERSES
Prop #2 / bind tight
Hooker in a scrum / strike hard
Hooker in a lineout / stick it in the tunnel
Lock / sniff butt
Flanker / hold it in
8 Man / split cheeks
Scrumhalf / put it in
Flyhalf / whip it out
Center three-quarters / pass it out
Wing three-quarters / go hard
Fullback / find touch
Referee / blow hard
Spectator on a sunny day / come again
Spectator on a rainy day / come in rubbers
Spectator on a rainy day #2 / get wet
Spectator in the second half / wouldn't come
Groundskeeper / trim bush
Groundskeeper #2 / do lines
Goalpost / stand erect
Cleat / get screwed
Boot / come in a box
Whistle / get blown
Team from far away / come for hours
Field / grow weed
Rulebook / get violated
Ball / get pumped
Water bottle / get sucked
Halftime Orange / get eaten

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08 Nov 99 - 05:43 PM (#133367)
Subject: Rugby Song, If I Were the Marrying Kind
From: Ferrara

A local singer used to do this song. Only remember two verses and may have them wrong but I think they went like this:

If I were the marrying kind,
which thank the Lord I'm not sir,
The kind of a man that I would wed
Would be a Rugby forward.
Then he'd put it in, and I'd put it in,
We'd both put it in together,
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Putting it in together.

If... The kind of a man that I would wed
Would be a Rugby spectator.
Then he'd come again, and I'd come again,
we'd both ...etc.

Anyone know any more verses? Somehow this thing crept into my head lately and I keep singing the same two verses over and over. I need more verses so I can have some variety. Thanks. Rita F

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08 Nov 99 - 06:02 PM (#133378)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Rugby Song, If I Were the Marrying K
From: Melbert

If I were the marrying kind which
thank the Lord I'm not sir,
The kind of a girl that I would wed
Would be a scrum half's daughter.
Then she'd put it in, and I'd put it in,
We'd both put it in together,
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Putting it in together.

If I were the marrying kind which
thank the Lord I'm not sir,
The kind of a girl that I would wed
Would be a forward's daughter.
She'd push hard, I'd push hard
We'd both push hard together
We'd be all right in the middle of the night,
Pushing hard together.

Sorry... can't remeber any more.

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08 Nov 99 - 07:34 PM (#133420)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Rugby Song, If I Were the Marrying K
From: Boarding Party (KC)

If I were the marrying kind, which thank the Lord I'm not sir, The kind of a man that I would wed Would be a Rugby [Full back]

And he'd [kick hard] And I'd [kick hard] We'd all [kick hard] together We'd be all right in the middle of the night [Kick]ing [hard] together

... grounds keeper ... fill holes

... full back ... find touch

... wing three quarter ... going hard

... centre three quarter ... pass it out

... fly half ... whip it out

... hooker ... strike hard

... big prop forward ... bind tight

... referee's whistle ... blow hard

And my favorite from Bob Hitchcock

... half time orange ... get sucked

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09 Nov 99 - 01:48 PM (#133741)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Rugby Song, If I Were the Marrying K
From: Ferrara

WOW! -- Thanks a lot to all!! -- Now I can keep my brain going in circles for hours without ever repeating a verse!

KC, how about that!! What a surprise -- Good to see you here. Now would you pretty please give us the words to the Ash Grove parody?.... "And the hair...." etc... Frustrates me no end not to know the verses to that one.

- Rita Ferrara

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09 Nov 99 - 03:20 PM (#133771)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Rugby Song, If I Were the Marrying K
From: Micca

Rita do you mean "the Mayor of Bayswaterhads got a lovely daughter and the hair on her dickey-di-do ahngs don to her Knee"? if you do drop me a line I think Ive got the words somewhere

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09 Nov 99 - 07:05 PM (#133886)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Rugby Song, If I Were the Marrying K
From: Micca

Wht the above should have said is- Rita do you mean "The Mayor of Bayswater has got a lovely daughter and the hair on her dickey-di-do hangs down to her Knee"? if you do drop me a line I think I've got the words somewhere

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10 Nov 99 - 05:33 AM (#134027)
Subject: Lyr Add: THE MAYOR OF BAYSWATER (rugby song)
From: Boarding Party (KC)

OK Micca, let's put this one together:


THE MAYOR OF BAYSWATER (tune – ASH GROVE)
(Bayswater is an (posh) area (and street) in London right by Kensington Palace/Gardens)

Verse:
The Mayor of Bayswater
He had a lovely daughter

Refrain:
And the hairs on her dickey-dido
Hung down to her knees.

Chorus:
And the hairs on her dikey-dido (3x)
Hung down to her knees.
One black one, one white one
And one with a bit o' shite on
And the hairs on her dickey-dido
Hung down to her knees.


Alternate chorus: (last two lines)
...
And one with a little light on
To show us the way

Alternate Chorus:
...
One black one, one red one
and one that she bled on
And the hairs on her dickey-dido
Hung down to her knees.


Verses:
'Twould take a Welsh miner
To find her vagina.

I've seen it, I've cleaned it
I've been in between it.

If she were my daughter
I'd have them cut shorter

It's as big as a mountain
And pisses like a bloody fountain

I've felt it, I've smelt it
It's just like a bit of velvet


Surely there must be other verses?

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06 Jun 00 - 04:09 PM (#239053)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Rugby Song, If I Were the Marrying K
From: GUEST

She came from Longforgan, with an arse like a barrel-organ

She married a miller with a prick like a fucking pillar

She married a porter with a prick like a three-inch mortar

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06 Jun 00 - 04:52 PM (#239071)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Rugby Song, If I Were the Marrying K
From: sophocleese

She married an Italian with balls like a fucking stallion

She divorced the italian and married the fucking stallion

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06 Jun 00 - 06:50 PM (#239109)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Rugby Song, If I Were the Marrying K
From: Bert

I chased her, I caught her, I gave her a baby daughter.

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25 Sep 19 - 09:57 AM (#4010434)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: If I Were the Marrying Kind (rugby song)
From: Lighter

Canadian Navy officer Hal Lawrence recalled hearing it in 1941 ("A Bloody War," 1979):

“The laughing mob opened to receive us back in. A Wren was sitting on the bar, singing :

                If I were a marrying girl,
                Which thank the Lord I’m not, sir,
                The sort of man that I would wed
                Would be a rugby scrum-half.

        “The chorus roared out :

                Oh, he’d push hard
                And I’d push hard
                And we’d push hard together;
                We’d be all right in the middle of the night
                Pushing hard together.

        “My Polish friend jumped up alongside her,

                If I were a marrying girl,
                Which thank the Lord I’m not, sir,
                The sort of man that I would wed
                Would be a rugby quarter.

                Oh, he’d put it in
                And I’d put it in
                And we’d put it in together;
                We’d be all right in the middle of the night
                Putting it in together.”

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25 Oct 19 - 11:43 AM (#4015346)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Marrying Kind (rugby song)
From: GUEST

Ball / bound in leather
Referee’s hat / sit on a dick
Scrum half / touch balls
Wing / get none
Flank / get off quick
Fullback / get fucked

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