BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again

14 Jul 13 - 08:31 PM (#3537460)
Subject: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Bobert

Word on the street is that Chongz has again tried to woo Honey Boo-Boo with offers of marriage according to a reliable source but, Honey Boo-Boo still isn't interested and has told Chongz to "pack sand"...

Not too sure what sand packing is but doesn't sound too romantic... Maybe it's a monkey thing???

Details at 11...

B~

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14 Jul 13 - 09:46 PM (#3537478)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Rapparee

Honey Boo-Boo, even as a child, shows some good taste. Are you sure she didn't say to Chong, "You don't have enough sense to pound sand down a rat hole"?

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14 Jul 13 - 09:50 PM (#3537480)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Bobert

Not sure the exact quote, Rap... This story is still developing...

B~

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15 Jul 13 - 12:32 AM (#3537510)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: GUEST,mg

Honey Boo Boo is about 7 years old. I think any references to her on this type of subject is creepy and possibly illegal.

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15 Jul 13 - 03:09 AM (#3537534)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Ebbie

I think Honey BB's parents should be tarred and feathered forthwith and the child should be turned out to pasture. I saw just a scrap of the show as I surfed by and it was absolutely appalling. Don't tell me that it is meant to be entertainment- it is totally sniggeringly sick.

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15 Jul 13 - 09:00 AM (#3537617)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo
From: GUEST,Guest

I don't know who Chongz is, thank God! June was on GMA this morning. I just want them to go away! Just watching their unfortunate appearances on Shows and commercials sucks the energy out of me.

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15 Jul 13 - 09:16 AM (#3537623)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

This story bein' spread around by the Bobertz false propaganda machine is a total lie and a total disgrace! As mg so rightly says, it is creepy and possibly illegal. It's an insult to Chimpanzees and to all apes! Bobertz will pay dearly for promotin' this scurrilous lie. Yes, folks, he will suffer. He'll wish he'd never been born. (Just like all his neighbours already do!) ;-D Ook! Ook!

When I am elected President, I will hold a joint session of Congress to deal with Bobertz, assumin' he's still around when that happens...but I'm guessin' the chances are only about 50/50 on that.

- Chongo

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15 Jul 13 - 10:06 AM (#3537647)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: leeneia

Too right, Chongo!

Also, never believe any statement that starts with "Word on the street is that..."

(For those of you who are never around little kids, little kids talk about having boyfriends and girlfriends and getting married all the time. If that's creepy or illegal, we are all in BIG trouble.)

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15 Jul 13 - 10:15 AM (#3537650)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Pete Jennings

So, Chong's a paedophile, eh? Makes sense to me...and Bobertz never lies.

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15 Jul 13 - 10:23 AM (#3537654)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Little Hawk

Hell, I was already thinking about girlfriends and marriage when I was 6 or 7 years old. Little kids are often very romantic in their outlook. Give it a rest, mg. ;-) You're raising alarms over nothing.

As for Chongo, I know for a fact that he already has a very attractive human girlfriend in her early 30's, name of Renata Carson. She's a lawyer and a writer who lives in Chicago and works on the APP campaign team, so clam up, Bobert.

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15 Jul 13 - 01:20 PM (#3537736)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Bobert

I love it...

The infamous mg has weighed in... Chongz is threatening to not only run for president again but to have me, ahhhhh, messed up if he wins... LH says that Chongz has a girlfriend in Chicago... Everyone seems to be remembering their first wife or husband to be when they were 6 years old...

I'd say I must be on to something... Other than the usual denials...

B~

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15 Jul 13 - 01:41 PM (#3537751)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: leeneia

Hi, LH. So the impossible dream of meeting and loving Winona Ryder has been forgotten, eh? I think that's for the best.

Wait a minute, maybe she was somebody else's daydream...

Anyhow, I was just in the beauty shop waiting my turn for a haircut and reading about Winona in People Magazine. I was glad to see she is doing OK.

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15 Jul 13 - 02:39 PM (#3537780)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Bobert

Actually, leeneia, it wasn't Chongz who had the hots for Winona... It was LH hisself... But, yeah... Looks like his current love interest is Sarah Palin...

As for Chongz having a girlfriend in Chicago who is 30 and a lawyer??? The reality is that Chongz has a picture he cut out of a magazine of a 30 year old lawyer from Chicago hangin' on his wall... He's never actually met this woman and this woman doesn't even know he exists... That is, if he exists...

B~

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15 Jul 13 - 03:29 PM (#3537798)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Rapparee

I shall begin calling him/her "Chongxx" to remind her/him of his/her chromosomal makeup.

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15 Jul 13 - 05:51 PM (#3537855)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Little Hawk

Hi, leeneia. ;-) No, I'm still quite fond of Winona, and I'm glad to hear she's doing well. Haven't seen her in the movies much lately. Thanks for alerting me to the People Magazine article.

Chongo never has had any interest in Winona as far as I know, but he certainly had a crush on Lauren Bacall for many years, and he was hung up on Kathleen Turner for awhile too.

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15 Jul 13 - 09:15 PM (#3537911)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Bobert

You got any pics of Chongz and Ms. Turner???

B~

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15 Jul 13 - 10:08 PM (#3537919)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Rapparee

Why would anyone want a picture of a filthy, flea-ridden chimpanzee?

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16 Jul 13 - 01:00 AM (#3537937)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Little Hawk

Well...Bobert has some odd fetishes, you know.

Nope, sorry to say I do not have any photos of Chongo and Ms Turner. He only admired her from afar. Anyway, even if I did have such photos, I would certainly not send them.

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16 Jul 13 - 10:22 AM (#3538046)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Rapparee

So what sort of photos DO you have?

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16 Jul 13 - 10:32 AM (#3538052)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Little Hawk

I'm not telling.

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16 Jul 13 - 11:43 AM (#3538073)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: leeneia

Lauren Bacall? For a chimp, he has excellent and sophisticated tastes. More'n I can say for some actual humans, present company excepted of course.

I guess I better find out who Kathleen Turner is.

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16 Jul 13 - 11:49 AM (#3538077)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: leeneia

Hey, she's from Springfield, Missouri! I bet she secretly plays the banjo. No, probably dulcimer.

She looks like the ying to Lauren Bacall's yang. Chongo certainly covers the bases.

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16 Jul 13 - 12:11 PM (#3538086)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

Kathleen Turner starred in a film noire movie back in the 80s and it was called "Body Heat". Unforgettable!!! I still get chills thinkin' about it. She was like the reincarnation of Lauren Bacall back then. She was also in another real good flick called "Romancing the Stone" and several more after that...some pretty good stuff...but nothin' matches her first appearance in "Body Heat". I recommend you rent it and watch it, cos it's the best example of film noire since the 40s.

These are the kinda women I focus on...REAL grown-up women with chutzpah, not underage little overstuffed redneck know-nothin' cabbage patch yoyos like Honey Boo-Boo. Bobertz is a sick man! I bet he watches that show religiously.

- Chongo

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16 Jul 13 - 12:20 PM (#3538089)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Amos

ME thinks the Chimp doth protest overmuch. Honey Boo Boo is actually a good choice for him. They have so much in common.

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16 Jul 13 - 12:42 PM (#3538104)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Little Hawk

Yeah? Like what?

The guantlet has been thrown down, sir! Do your worst. ;-)

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16 Jul 13 - 01:19 PM (#3538125)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Bobert

Amos has it right... Actually, if Honey Boo Boo were to marry Chongz she would be marrying down... She can do a lot better...

B~

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16 Jul 13 - 01:28 PM (#3538132)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Little Hawk

LOL! Oh, what a terrible thing to say! And of a brave Chimp who has dedicated his life to upholding the law, fighting crime, and reducing local whisky stocks by a large enough amount that the bars in his immediate area need not fear the ravages of the Recession...

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16 Jul 13 - 02:02 PM (#3538153)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Rapparee

...and doesn't pay for any drinks, cigars, rent, food, anything. Some call it "foraging" but most call it "dumpster diving" or "asking for a handout."

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16 Jul 13 - 03:47 PM (#3538186)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: mg

Are you serious putting this on the internet about a little girl in a dysfunctional situation...

kinda women I focus on...REAL grown-up women with chutzpah, not underage little overstuffed redneck know-nothin' cabbage patch yoyos like Honey Boo-Boo

She is a real, live 7 year old girl. How can you say this in public about a little girl? I consider this to be child abuse plain and simple. And to imply that you are focusing on a seven-year old gets into pedophile territory, and I have no doubt that the poor girl has some pedophile monsters interested in her. I will be writing to moderators about this.

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16 Jul 13 - 04:38 PM (#3538200)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Little Hawk

Well, it's quite simple, mg...we are damnable and insensitive monsters, every last one of us, we are people who have no respect for trashy reality TV shows that exploit the innocent, and who are unrepentant about it. Like hosts of humorous writers and satirists long before us, people like Mark Twain, Lenny Bruce, Catspaw49, Andy Kaufmann, Woody Allen, George Carlin, Dick Gregory, and numerous others of their criminal ilk, we dare to hold up a mirror in front of the bizarre nonsense that haunts our age and make fun of the sillier aspects of the decadent society we live in.

We should all be arrested! Dragged before a tribunal. Possibly crucified or burnt at the stake.

And Bobert is the WORST! Yessir, he's the ringleader. He started it. I suggest you contact not only the moderators, but also your local, state, and federal officials, and see if you can get us all at least deported, if not executed.

Get right to it.

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16 Jul 13 - 04:44 PM (#3538202)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Amos

I think the OP was about ther public persona, not the individual playing it.

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16 Jul 13 - 04:51 PM (#3538208)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Bobert

Is this the same "mg" who once scolded us for using the term "redneck"???

My, my, my...

B;~)

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16 Jul 13 - 04:59 PM (#3538214)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: mg

No. You have no respect for the feelings and probably legal rights of a 7 year old girl in an unhealthy situation.

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16 Jul 13 - 05:01 PM (#3538218)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Bobert

Then who are you, mg??? And where is the other mg...

As for your self righteous rant???

LH addressed that sufficiently well...

In other words, "Ya gotta lighten up, baby"...

B~

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16 Jul 13 - 06:05 PM (#3538234)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Little Hawk

Whether you know it or not, mg, you are indulging in a bit of "recreational outrage" that has no real basis in fact. We all care about and respect the legal rights of underage girls just as much as you do, and Bobert frequently has made humorous references to the travesty of a show in which Honey Boo Boo appears with her family because he thinks it's a creepy, tasteless, and exploitative show.

As for me...I've never seen it except for a couple of brief clips on Youtube, caused by simply wondering what Bobert was talking about in the first place, and I have no desire to see it any further. I don't think it has any audience in Canada.

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16 Jul 13 - 10:40 PM (#3538309)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: leeneia

Bear in mind, mg, that an adult chimp and a little human girl have the same naivete and the same penchant for mischief. They are soul-mates, and that's all the farther it will go.

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16 Jul 13 - 11:28 PM (#3538315)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: mg

She is in probably second grade. The only comments appropriate for over 60 year old men or women to be making about her are to be protective, concerned about her situation, or gratitude that their own daughters and granddaughters are not in the public eye like that..to be the subject of cruelty and ridicule.

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17 Jul 13 - 09:04 AM (#3538429)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Bobert

Like I said, mg, "Ya' gotta lighten up, baby"... Satire is one of the oldest tools for social change... I mean, just check out Saturday Night Live, Jon Stewart, etc... This is the manner in which adults try to expose just how stupid lots of stuff is...

No one here is supportive of the exploitation of children and so we use satire to get people thinking... Satire works better than dogmatism which is usually met with immediate push-back...

B~

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17 Jul 13 - 09:26 AM (#3538436)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Jeri

After the last thread you started about this, I figured you knew you stepped on your dick. Now, I just think your a little pervy. If LH had started something like this, it would probably be a little less ignorant... but I doubt he'd enjoy talking about it as much as you. It's not "satire". Satire takes finesse.

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17 Jul 13 - 10:12 AM (#3538455)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

Finesse ain't Bobertz long suit. Ook! Ook! But he ain't actually pervy in the least. I mighta said he was up there somewhere, but I was just funnin' around, see? He started this thread for one purpose...to give ME a dig in the ribs, see? He likes tryin' to irritate me from time to time, specially when he's havin' a slow day with not much to do. Could be the tractor is broke again. Yeah, that's probably it.

Anyways, he is just pickin' on me to try to get me to pop up like a jack-in-the-box so's we can fight about it for 40 or 50 posts.

Why does he do this? Well, number one, he's a bit of a dumbass. I know this coz I visited him once on one of them presidential campaigns. I figgered he could maybe help snag votes for the APP in his godforsaken neck of the woods down in Hillbillyland. So I had a chance to observe Bobertz' lifestyle for a few days. I noticed he has a tragic lack of finesse! Ook! Ook! ;-D This is why he's darned near killed himself with the tractor, the chainsaw, the can opener, etc.

Number two? He admires me. Yup, he wishes he was a lot more like me and had 4 hands insteada just two. Think how much more finesse ya can have with 4 hands. Most humans experience these feelings of inferiority around Chimps and other primates, so it's not strange that it would affect Bobertz that way.

Anyways, what I am sayin' here is, don't be so hard on the guy. He is basically innocent, just not that bright.

- Chongo

p.s. - "satire takes finesse" No, Jeri...GOOD satire takes finesse. Clever satire takes finesse. Poor or clumsy satire lacks finesse. What Bobertz done on this thread was merely poor and clumsy satire, nothin' more, and that's all there is to it.

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17 Jul 13 - 10:15 AM (#3538459)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Stilly River Sage

This is spin-off content from the Mother of All BS thread. Just as it would in inappropriate for anyone to try to wade into the MOAB with a red pen to edit the content, this one should be avoided by people who don't have the mindset to suspend reality and just play with the words. It's in the BS section for that reason, and shouldn't be taken any more seriously than any other BS thread.

SRS

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17 Jul 13 - 10:28 AM (#3538464)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: GUEST,leeneia

But Rap, surely

"Who breaks a Butterfly upon a Wheel?"

has a knife-like aptness that requires finesse. But I must admit that it's only one line in a long diatribe.

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17 Jul 13 - 10:38 AM (#3538469)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Bobert

As per usual, Chongz tries to propagate that falsehood that I had a life threatening episode with a can opener... I categorically deny those accusation... It's more the other way around 'cause I got the best of the can opener, then wrestled it to the ground, duct taped the sumabich and took it to one of those recycling centers where it was crushed and then shredded and is now part of some toaster or car somewhere...

And unless you have pictorial evidence to the contrary, Chongz, which y6ou don't, then you can take that story out of your organ grinding routine...

B~

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17 Jul 13 - 10:41 AM (#3538471)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Little Hawk

Whoa!!! Powerful stuff there, Rap! Seems like a mixture of finesse and blunt "clubbery" to me.

I find it quite funny that anyone could possibly take ANY of the stuff in this thread seriously and try to turn it into some kind of indictment of Bobert's character.

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17 Jul 13 - 12:47 PM (#3538518)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: GUEST,saulgoldie

D'oh! Just as I thought I had her out of my mind, there you go mentioning Bu-Bu again! At least do not mention what'shername, what'shername, what'shername, what'shisname, what'shername, and of course, what'shisname. I just don't think I could STAND it.

Saul

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17 Jul 13 - 02:52 PM (#3538566)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: GUEST,leeneia

"what'shername, what'shername, what'shername, what'shisname, what'shername, and of course, what'shisname."

Are you referring to Merrill, Lynch, Pierce, Fenner and Smith?

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17 Jul 13 - 03:29 PM (#3538600)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Little Hawk

DON'T think about Manatees! Or Dugongs either. Just don't do it, okay?

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17 Jul 13 - 10:57 PM (#3538759)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Stilly River Sage

Leeneia, did you know that the actress Dina Merrill was the daughter of the Merrill of Merrill, Lynch, etc? Now there was an actress!

SRS

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18 Jul 13 - 07:21 AM (#3538861)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: GUEST,Sapper minus cookie

Wondering who Honey Boo Boo was, I did a Google and now feel sick.
Do people actually watch this crap???

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18 Jul 13 - 09:18 AM (#3538906)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Bobert

They no only wat6ch this crap, Sapper, but stuff that is equally retarded... The History channel is full of so-called reality shows depicting mostly Southern people as barely civilized, living in cabins in the swamps and hunting alligators, living in tents in the mountains making moonshine and living in just about any primitive manner doing some very stupid stuff...

It's amazing how many folks watch these shows who just like to see other people as miserable as themselves???

Go figure???

B~

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18 Jul 13 - 09:26 AM (#3538914)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Rapparee

Don't forget "Pawn Stars". But at least there is some tiny bit of history attached to some of the items.

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18 Jul 13 - 09:28 AM (#3538917)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Bobert

Actually, "Pawn Stars" isn't one of the shows I'd consider to be void of intelligence... Seems there is a ton of history in that show and it isn't about making fun of dumb and mostly white people...

B~

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18 Jul 13 - 10:05 AM (#3538928)
Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

People like watchin' shows about morons and idiots because it makes 'em feel like they ain't doin' so bad in comparison, coz they ain't quite that stupid themselves. This is also why Chimps enjoy watchin' Gorillas and Gorillas enjoy watchin' Baboons. Baboons, of course, watch other Baboons, thinkin' "Look at that idiot! Did you SEE what he just did? Did you SEE that??? I'd never do a thing as dumb as that."

- Chongo

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