To Thread - Forum Home

The Mudcat Café TM
http://mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=161923
13 messages

BS: condolences, loss of father-in-law

19 Apr 17 - 07:27 PM (#3851323)
Subject: for Eliza a/k/a Senoufou and her husband
From: keberoxu

Mudcatter Senoufou, also known as Eliza, has become dear to many of us here.
She just saw her husband off to his native country, where his father has passed away.

Bearing Eliza, her husband, her extended family and friends in prayers and in my heart.


19 Apr 17 - 09:35 PM (#3851343)
Subject: RE: BS: condolences, loss of father-in-law
From: ChanteyLass

Sending love to her whole family.


20 Apr 17 - 02:45 AM (#3851353)
Subject: RE: BS: condolences, loss of father-in-law
From: Ebbie

And sending love from me too.


20 Apr 17 - 03:11 AM (#3851356)
Subject: RE: BS: condolences, loss of father-in-law
From: fat B****rd

Best regards and thoughts from Charlie.


20 Apr 17 - 04:01 AM (#3851368)
Subject: RE: BS: condolences, loss of father-in-law
From: Senoufou

Thank you all so much. He was an interesting man, and spoke good French, so we could talk together. I'll miss him.


20 Apr 17 - 04:20 AM (#3851374)
Subject: RE: BS: condolences, loss of father-in-law
From: Dave the Gnome

Sorry to hear of your loss, Eliza. My thoughts are with you and your husband.

Dave


20 Apr 17 - 05:39 AM (#3851384)
Subject: RE: BS: condolences, loss of father-in-law
From: Monique

Mes sincères condoléances à toute la famille, Eliza.


20 Apr 17 - 12:53 PM (#3851455)
Subject: RE: BS: condolences, loss of father-in-law
From: Jim Carroll

Mine too
Jim Carroll


20 Apr 17 - 07:30 PM (#3851512)
Subject: RE: BS: condolences, loss of father-in-law
From: Sandra in Sydney

& mine


20 Apr 17 - 10:03 PM (#3851527)
Subject: RE: BS: condolences, loss of father-in-law
From: Rapparee

I'm in this as well. Good thoughts to you and yours!


21 Apr 17 - 04:22 AM (#3851559)
Subject: RE: BS: condolences, loss of father-in-law
From: Senoufou

So kind of you all, thank you.

My husband rang to tell me the committal has taken place. No coffin,
just a white shroud. (Muslim custom is to inter as quickly as possible, with all the older male members of the mosque and the Imam present to offer prayers) My husband is now getting a stonemason to provide a headstone. Many don't do this, and thereafter have no idea where in the vast burial ground their loved one is located.

About seventy people have arrived so far from all over Cote d'Ivoire. It's a huge family, and it's almost imperative to try and get to a member who has been bereaved. In a day or two, the numbers will reach a hundred or even more. My mother-in-law is surrounded by ladies who feed her, bathe her and generally tend to her day and night. So different to the West isn't it?

The ladies have a strung-up cloth shelter in the enormous family compound under which to sleep, on mats. The men are at the other end, with a cloth erected so the sexes are separated and can't see each other. Food is provided for all at about 8pm every evening. One borrows huge dishes from neighbours for the mountains of rice. About eight people sit on the ground around each dish, and eat with the right hand, (never, ever the left!). Most wear white, the colour of mourning. My husband took his white boubou (long gown) and his little white crocheted hat.

I wish I could have gone with him, but it would have been slightly inappropriate at such a time, (being a toubabou and a Christian) and about a thousand pounds for my fare (three planes)
Also, there are so many health risks, I think it would have been rather dangerous at my age to attempt it without updating all my immunisations and getting Malarone (anti-malarials) without which you could easily die. But my thoughts are with them.

Husband is finding it terribly sad, and stressful, but he's coping. He gets home on May 4th.


21 Apr 17 - 06:51 PM (#3851745)
Subject: RE: BS: condolences, loss of father-in-law
From: Gallus Moll

My condolence to you and your husband Eliza. In my thoughts at this time.
A


22 Apr 17 - 07:48 PM (#3851917)
Subject: RE: BS: condolences, loss of father-in-law
From: ChanteyLass

Thank you for explaining the customs. I hope your husband is home with you soon.