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17 Jul 17 - 05:06 AM (#3866500) Subject: Lyr Add: Round And Round Went The Great Big Wheel From: GUEST,CJB Funny how you stumble upon a gem ... Researching missing eps of Dad's Army this site http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Series/DadsArmy has a reference to an ep. entitled: "Round And Round Went The Great Big Wheel" * Getting Crap Past the [Beeb's] Radar: Barely even trying. In the episode "The Four-and-a-Half Feathers", Jones describes his patrol in the Sudan encountering an elderly fakir (a sort of monk, pronounced "fa-keer"). Jones constantly refers to him as the "Old Fakir" (pronouncing it as "fak-er"). Say it out loud and wonder how that made it past the censors... ** And at least one episode title. "Round And Round Went The Great Big Wheel" is a quote from a really filthy song. This is it ... http://www.threaded.com/engineers_song.htm But what's the tune, and does anyone perform it?!!! |
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17 Jul 17 - 09:26 AM (#3866575) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Round And Round Went The Great Big Wheel From: Steve Gardham You need to go to John Mehlberg's website where you can listen to several versions, one of them mine. There are several tunes used. Mine is closely related to the American 'Froggy went Courting' tune. |
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17 Jul 17 - 09:52 AM (#3866584) Subject: ADD: Engineers Song From: Joe Offer Here are the lyrics CJB linked to from http://www.threaded.com/engineers_song.htm Engineers Song Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum, An engineer told me before he died, Ah-hum, ah-hum. An engineer told me before he died, I have no reason to believe he lied, Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum, Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum. An engineer told me before he died, And I have no reason to believe that he lied, (Chorus) That no matter whatever he tried, His girlfriend was never satisfied! (Chorus) That girl she had a @#%$ so wide She could never be satisfied, (Chorus) The engineer was a designer, Measured the bore of her vagina, (Chorus) Then he built her a @#%$ of steel, Powered by a bloody great wheel, (Chorus) Yes he built a bloody great wheel, Two brass balls and a @#%$ of steel (Chorus) Two balls of brass were filled with cream, And the whole bloody issue was driven by steam. (Chorus) He tied his girl to the leg of the bed, Tied her hands above her head, (Chorus) There she lay demanding a @#%$, He shook her hand and wished her luck, (Chorus) Round and round went the bloody great wheel, In and out went the @#%$ of steel, (Chorus) Up and up went the level of steam, Down and down went the level of cream. (Chorus) Till at last the maiden cried, "Enough! Enough! I am satisfied!" (Chorus) Now we come to the tragic bit, There was no way of stopping it, (Chorus) It went like the piston of a train, He should have fitted a gearing chain, (Chorus) Clouds of steam blew out the top, There wasn't a way to make it stop, (Chorus) She was split from ass to tit, And the whole @#%$ thing was covered in @#%$, (Chorus) It jumped off her, it jumped on him, And then it buggered their next of kin, (Chorus) It jumped on a departing bus, And the mess it made caused quite a fuss, (Chorus) The last time, Sir, that @#%$ was seen, Was in Buckingham Palace @#%$ the Queen, (Chorus) There's a moral to the story I tell, If you see it coming better run like hell, (Chorus) Nine months later a child was born, With two brass balls and a bloody great horn, (Chorus) The warning in the story is, Always fit a safety switch, (Chorus) The crux of the matter is plain to be seen, You should never trust a @#%$ MACHINE! Here's a recording of the song. It uses "Froggy Went a-Courting" for a melody: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKK-R7hfcQI |
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17 Jul 17 - 09:55 AM (#3866585) Subject: ADD: Engineers Song From: Joe Offer There's another version (with recording that you really need to hear) at horntip.com Here are the lyrics posted at that site: ENGINEERS SONG An engineer told me before he died Ah-hum titty-bum titty-bum titty-bum An engineer told me before he died Ah-hum, ah-hum An engineer told me before he died I have no reason to think he lied Ah-hum titty-bum titty-bum titty-bum Ah-hum titty-bum titty-bum titty-bum He had a wife with a cunt so wide Ah-hum titty-bum titty-bum titty-bum He had a wife with a cunt so wide Ah-hum, ah-hum He had a wife with a cunt so wide That she could never be satisfied Ah-hum titty-bum titty-bum titty-bum Ah-hum titty-bum titty-bum titty-bum So he built a bloody great wheel... With two balls of brass and a prick of steel The balls of brass he filled with cream... And the whole bloody thing was powered by steam He tied her down onto the bed... And lashed her arms above her head There she lay demanding a fuck... He shook her hand and he wished her luck Round and round went the bloody great wheel... And in and out went the prick of steel Up and up went the level of steam... Down and down went the level of cream Til at last the maiden cried... Enough! Enough! I'm satisfied! Now we come to the tragic bit... There was no way of stopping it She was split from ass to tit... And the whole bloody room was covered in shit It jumped off her and it jumped on him... And then it went after his next of kin It hopped onto an uptown bus... It's coming to fuck the rest of us! The last time that machine was seen... It was in Buckingham Palace fucking the queen The moral of this story is clear... You just don't fuck with an engineer! |
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17 Jul 17 - 09:58 AM (#3866588) Subject: ADD Version: Engineers Song From: Joe Offer Another version was posted elswhere at Mudcat: Thread #4377 Message #1678010 Posted By: GUEST,Jeeves 24-Feb-06 - 04:08 PM Thread Name: Rugby Football Songs Subject: ADD: Engineers Song (Rugby)
ENGINEERS SONG |
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17 Jul 17 - 12:24 PM (#3866629) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Round And Round Went The Great Big Wheel From: GUEST,CJB Oooo - lovely. Many thanks for the links and tunes. |
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17 Jul 17 - 09:01 PM (#3866706) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Round And Round Went The Great Big Wheel From: GUEST,Ex Rugby playing folkist The version in our club went An engineer told me before he died And now I know the bastard lied He had a wife with a cunt so wide She could never be satisfied So he built a fucking great wheel Two balls of brass and a prick of steel The balls of brass were covered in cream And the whole fucking issue was driven by steam Round and round went the fucking great wheel In and out went the prick of steel 'til at last the maiden(?) cried Enough, enough I'm satisfied Now we come to the biter bit There was no way of stopping it And she was split from arse to tit And the whole fucking issue was covered in .... Sweet violets, sweeter than the roses Covered all over from arse to tit Covered all over in Shit, shit, shit |
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18 Jul 17 - 09:35 AM (#3866824) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Round And Round Went The Great Big Wheel From: Nigel Parsons It also gets a few comments/references in the "Man From U.N.C.L.E." The Monster Wheel Affair Cheers Nigel |
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18 Jul 17 - 09:38 AM (#3866827) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Round And Round Went The Great Big Wheel From: Steve Gardham ERpf What was the tune for your verses? The chorus is from a pop song of the early 20th century. |
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18 Jul 17 - 09:25 PM (#3867014) Subject: RE: ADD: Round & Round Went Great Big Wheel- Engineer From: Joe_F An old song, with many versions. Here are a couple of recent ones that have made it here: http://mudcat.org/@displaysong.cfm?SongID=6394 http://mudcat.org/@displaysong.cfm?SongID=6983 And here is one I heard in Scotland: THE WHEEL A sailor told me before he died -- I don't know whether the bastard lied -- About a maid with a **** so wide That she was never satisfied. So she built a fucking great wheel, Two balls of brass and a prick of steel; The balls of brass were filled with cream, And the whole fucking issue was driven by steam. Round & round went the fucking great wheel, In & out went the prick of steel, Until at last the maiden cried, "Enough! Enough! I'm satisfied!" Now we come to the bitter bit: There was no method of stopping it. The maid was split from **** to tit, And the whole fucking issue was covered in Sweet violets, sweeter than the roses, Covered all over from head to toe, Covered all over with shit! shit! shit! There is a moral to this ditty: Keep well in touch, both **** and titty, And do not use a prick of steel: Use mine instead -- it's warm & real. Ah, so! -- Sung, to the tune of Old Hundred ("Praise God, from whom all blessings flow"), by students at St Andrews University, Scotland, 1959 An exhaustive essay on this song, by one Jonathan Lighter, was published in 2009. It contains many texts and comparisons with related themes. |
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19 Jul 17 - 03:39 PM (#3867174) Subject: RE: ADD: Round & Round Went Great Big Wheel- Engineer From: Steve Gardham Thanks, Joe. Is Jon's essay online? I'll ask him. |
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19 Jul 17 - 05:18 PM (#3867185) Subject: RE: ADD: Round & Round Went Great Big Wheel- Engineer From: Joe_F It seems not. He sent me a copy (in Word), but, as it is copyrighted, you had best get it from him. |
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20 Jul 17 - 12:07 PM (#3867326) Subject: RE: ADD: Round & Round Went Great Big Wheel- Engineer From: GUEST,ERPF The balls of brass were FILLED with cream Silly me |
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05 Oct 20 - 07:30 PM (#4074443) Subject: RE: ADD: Round & Round Went Great Big Wheel- Engineer From: GUEST,AK I found it through the Oscar Brand version: This cowboy told me before he died and I got no reason to think he lied Though he tried for the most his life He never could satisfy his wife. (Chorus) (c)Round and round went the great big wheel (c)in and out went the rod of steel. (c)I'll lay you money on a sure fire bet (c)that the great big wheeeeeel is a' turnin' yet! so he mounted him up a great big wheel and there upon a rod of steel two brass chambers a' filled with cream and the whole damn thing was a' run by steam. Chorus Well he rolled it in through the bedroom door and the wheel started up with a great big roar. It rolled to his wife and it rolled on top And it pumped and steamed 'till she hollered stop! Chorus But the monstrous wheel just rolled on through till the cowboy's wife, she was split in two. As if possessed of a monstrous whim it turned around and it mounted him. Chorus Then it rolled to the gate and it steamed real fast mountin' folks just strollin' past. It covered them over with grease and cream and it disappeared in a cloud of steam. Chorus So if someday you should see a wheel with two brass balls and a rod of steel. run for the prairie or over the hill unless you're lookin' fer a long time thrill Oh! round and round went the great big wheel in and out went the rod of steel I'll lay you money on a sure fire bet that the great big wheeeeeeeel is a turnin' yeeeeeet! |