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BS: Swarmy-the Dollar store medium

09 Dec 18 - 11:43 AM (#3965612)
Subject: BS: Swarmy-the Dollar store medium
From: Donuel

Thanks to Donuel for letting me work here. My first twelve Christmas prophesies are free of charge. Custom prophesies or mystic visions beyond 12 are only $1.


#1
I see a Christmas tree at a mudcatter's home and on that tree I see an ornament that looks like... Snoopy !



How am I doing so far?


09 Dec 18 - 01:18 PM (#3965635)
Subject: RE: BS: Swarmy-the Dollar store medium
From: Bee-dubya-ell

Sorry, Swarmy, it's not Snoopy. It's Underdog. I can see how one could make that mistake, but it's not really hard to tell the difference. Snoopy's the one with lots of money and a mansion in Beverly Hills courtesy of residuals on all those comic strips, books, and TV specials. Underdog's finances went belly up when his TV show fell out of syndication and he now lives in a mobile home park in Bend, Oregon. His old love interest, Sweet Polly Purebred, lives in Eugene, about 125 miles away, where she works as a cashier in a Big Lots store and sells a little weed on the side. She and Underdog get together a few times a year to reminisce about old times and get stoned.


09 Dec 18 - 06:56 PM (#3965681)
Subject: RE: BS: Swarmy-the Dollar store medium
From: Donuel

Swarmy sees no its too foggy, Swarmy smells cinnamon and and hears...'Walkin in my winter underwear', no its not underwear its wonderland. Ahh A Mudcatter is greedily eating samples at a Big Box store.


10 Dec 18 - 09:26 AM (#3965780)
Subject: RE: BS: Swarmy-the Dollar store medium
From: Donuel

Swarmy predicts the POTUS will release an angry tweet at 1 AM that is free of grammar and spelling as we know it.


11 Dec 18 - 11:06 PM (#3965836)
Subject: RE: BS: Swarmy-the Dollar store medium
From: Bee-dubya-ell

The Mudcatter who was scarfing down free samples at Sam's Club got in big trouble when he absent-mindedly double-dipped from a huge bowl of freshly prepared shrimp dip. Health department regulations required that the entire bowl be thrown out, at a cost of around $100.00 USD to Sam's Club. Sam's management was not pleased.

The Mudcatter was escorted to the manager's office where his Sam's Club membership card was confiscated and his name put on a list of troublemakers who are not eligible to receive another card under any circumstances. Ever.... For life.... No more freebies for you, Bub.... Find somewhere else to buy toilet paper in 144-roll packages.


12 Dec 18 - 11:17 AM (#3965924)
Subject: RE: BS: Swarmy-the Dollar store medium
From: Donuel

Swarmy predicts someone is getting a phone call from a recording promising to lower interest rates but only Donuel asked back "My interest in what"? "If its sex why would I want that?"


12 Dec 18 - 11:47 AM (#3965930)
Subject: RE: BS: Swarmy-the Dollar store medium
From: Donuel

My rate of interest in sex is about every four minutes. It slowed since I was 16.


14 Dec 18 - 10:17 AM (#3966241)
Subject: RE: BS: Swarmy-the Dollar store medium
From: Donuel

Swarmy quit and got a new bell ringing gig.